Terry Gross

It all went through you.

You write about your feelings of helplessness, paranoia, hypervigilance.

What were you experiencing during that period when he saw you as his rock?

To go in such a short amount of time from bride to caregiver, what were some of your fears as he slowly started to heal?

Because I think in situations like this, both people can be really profoundly changed by the experience of trauma.

Did you ever question whether you'd still both be in love with each other or

When the healing was done, you know, to the extent that you can heal when one eye is blinded by the knife and, you know, I think three fingers are numb forever.

And I mean, there was a lot of permanent damage that was done that you don't heal from.

My guest is Rachel Eliza Griffiths.

Her new memoir is called The Flower Bearers.

We'll talk more after a break.

I'm Terry Gross, and this is Fresh Air.

Let's get back to my interview with poet and novelist Rachel Eliza Griffiths.

Her new memoir, The Flower Bearers, is in part about the day she married Salman Rushdie in September 2021.

It had a joyous start and a horrible ending when she found out her best friend, Aisha, had suddenly died.

Only 11 months later, Rushdie was stabbed multiple times and nearly killed while he was on stage being interviewed at the Chautauqua Festival.

Griffiths also writes about her own mental health issues.

She has dissociative identity disorder, her relationship with Aisha, and her childhood, which ended when her mother was diagnosed with kidney disease, turning Griffiths into a part-time caregiver who was constantly worried about her mother.

In this part of the interview, we talk about a mental health crisis.

If you or someone you know may be considering suicide or is in crisis, you can call or text for help at 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.