Terry Gross

That's 988.

We'll talk more after a short break.

This is Fresh Air.

Let's talk about another turning point in your life.

You've had some pretty difficult turning points.

And the one I'm referring to now is your mother's death.

She was diagnosed with kidney disease when you were 11 or 12.

You found her in bed one morning with blood dripping from her eyes, which was very traumatic for you.

In addition to being traumatic for her, she had a kidney transplant that

How did it affect her ability to take care of you and your siblings once she got sick?

I will add here, you loved her, she loved you.

But you say in your memoir, you know, that as with many mother-daughter relationships, you were also very angry with her a lot of the time.

And that in expressing her love, she also felt free to harshly criticize you in ways that made you doubt your own capabilities.

And that she also had a way of damaging the people that she loved.

Can you explain a little bit more about what you mean about that?

Yes, and that is a big but because who you wanted to be was a writer.

I mean, when you were very young, you were already deep into books.

You knew you wanted to write.

And your mother's attitude was, that's not a career, stringing sentences together.

You're not going to make any money.