Terry Gross

And to bring together your writing and your depression, suicidal ideation, dissociative identity disorder with your work as a poet.

You write in your new book that when you tried to write about your depression, suicidal or dissociative episodes that placed you in the emergency room, you coiled in shame and self-loathing.

And you're right, my poems did not immediately connect to black joy.

They were not always focused on white people and white supremacy.

When I tried to write about these experiences, I was told in workshops that it came off as inauthentic.

The black woman, me, sitting at a round table, composed and articulate, could not also be the wounded, damaged creature who could only use plastic utensils during meals in a psych ward.

Can you talk about how it made you feel being accused of being inauthentic because you were revealing all these problems that you were having, but you looked so self-confident and sounded so confident?

And, you know, in writing about the darkest parts of yourself, you know, the depression and dissociative identity disorder, you say that, but you knew the dangers of romanticizing tortured poets.

What are the dangers?

And I'm not referring to you as, you know, a tortured poet in that sense, where you're being like glamorized for your mental health state.

But what are the dangers of romanticizing tortured poets?

Because I don't want to have listeners place you in a category that you don't feel part of and that you don't want to be part of.

Eliza, it's just been great to talk with you.

Thank you so much for sharing so much.

Your book is great.

So really happy to be able to talk about it with you.

Rachel Eliza Griffith's new memoir is called The Flower Bearers.

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