Thais Gibson

So in those five pillars, the first three are all about self.

They're all about how do I heal my own internal conditioning, rewire the wounds, meet my own needs, regulate my own nervous system.

The next two are actually about regulating with, so with people together.

So the next two pillars are about communication and boundaries.

So what we do for the communication pillar number four is now that we know our needs, we can communicate about them.

And what often happens is people go through life and they don't even know what they need in a relationship.

And then we're left saying things like, oh, you hurt me and you did this.

And I've seen this all the time with communication.

Even if people are so well-meaning when they say, hey, even if they're trying to be vulnerable and they're saying, hey, you hurt me last week when X, Y, Z happened.

The other partner is like, OK, I don't want to hurt you.

But I don't know how to solve for it.

Yes, yes.

And so what I get people to do, and it depends, like we have a couple of frameworks, but one is whenever we are in a conflict, like if that's ever coming up for us, people feel very resolved in conflict when they do basically three things.

Both parties have to communicate what came up for them in the conflict and then validate each other's emotions.

Step one.

Okay.

So validate each other's emotions.

Step two, then we have to say what we actually need.

And step three, we have to paint a picture of what that looks like.

Yes.