Thais Gibson

What's their need?

More time together.

What's the dismissive avoidance need?

More space, more freedom, more autonomy.

So what we do in that case is just because somebody wants more time and somebody wants more space doesn't mean that that can't work.

What we get people to do is talk it out from that feeling need framework enough where you have pockets of time to meet both each other's needs.

So you'll probably see this.

But whenever we have a trigger, we always think of the worst case scenario, right?

We jump to the worst case conclusion.

So dismissive avoidance, when somebody's like, well, I want more time, they're like, you're going to take over my life.

Like they think, oh, you want like seven hours every evening together.

Exactly.

And then when dismissive avoidance say, I need more space or time to myself, anxious to have themselves are like, you're leaving me.

You're abandoning me.

A hundred percent.

And instead it's because they struggle to co-regulate.

So what we get people to do is the feeling need framework.

They each say what they feel.

Hey, this comes up for me.

Then it's a beautiful opportunity to say, I need space because that's how I recharge.