Thais Gibson

What you do is you honor your truth.

You speak your needs.

You stand in it.

And you let that person either grow and move towards or you don't.

And usually if you end up people pleasing, it's the self-betrayal.

And then that feeds back into the subconscious comfort zone.

It just never works that way.

I would say stay with the person who feels safe because there are more green flags, but then build things that create mutual excitement into your relationship.

So it's actually one of the ways, it's the rite of passage to get out of the rhythm stage and into the future stages of relationship is if you feel like there's a sense of safety but not enough excitement, then you have to build novelty into the relationship, spontaneity, things that make you feel that sense of chemistry and connection.

So safety is really healthy and good, but then build those things in that keep that spark alive.

It's beautifully said.

One hundred percent.

And like caveat being that you have to actually feel attracted to the person.

I can see some people being like, oh, so I should stay with the person I'm not interested in.

No way.

But like the reality is exactly what you said.

And sometimes the constantly on edge is for really painful reasons, especially if the other person's not going to be willing to do the work with you.

Build, you know, I'd actually almost go in reverse on that one.

I would say follow the chemistry as long as you're going to do the work.

on it chemistry tells us a lot about ourselves those times you get those really exciting like connections and that like oh my gosh that is always we have limerence or intense infatuation for three reasons number one somebody's expressing your repressed traits like we talked about do that integration work number two somebody's meeting your deeply unmet needs from childhood that'll be the spark early and then it'll be the thing that pressures the relationship later because you're trying to just source from them so do that work to really build those it's it's sort of this key that unlocks all this awareness into yourself and