Thais Gibson

So the first thing is everybody has an attachment style and there are four of them.

And this is one of the biggest studied bodies of work originally.

And it originally came from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth of Cambridge University.

And they said, hey, there are four attachment styles.

The first one is securely attached style.

So they represent about 50% of the population, data shows us.

I always have a hard time with that.

I'm like, wait, it seems like it may not be quite so high.

But basically, securely attached individuals are people who grew up in childhood with what we call a lot of approach-oriented behaviors from their parents.

And it sounds like such a small thing, but it goes such a long way.

So approach oriented behaviors really means that when a child is young, if they cry or they get distressed, the parent is attuned.

They're very present and they notice it and they approach the child to be like, what's wrong?

And they attempt to soothe them and make the child feel better.

And what that conditions a child to believe at a very young age is my emotions are worthy of being seen and heard.

It's safe to rely on other people.

I can trust that people are going to be there for me.

And also I can communicate.

And almost most importantly, I am worthy of love as I am on my good days, on my bad days, in my good moments and in my hard moments.

And so there's a lot of really healthy conditioning that that child adopts.

And so, of course, that's the type of patterning they bring into their relationships as adults.