Thais Gibson

And their big needs in relationships are

They need depth.

They want to feel wanted and prioritized.

They want to feel this spark and passion.

They're very passionate people.

But then on the flip side, they also absolutely need their freedom, their independence, their autonomy.

They need novelty.

And they have these kind of opposing type needs at face value, but they're not actually mutually exclusive.

You can need depth and freedom, right?

Those don't have to be opposites.

And they also...

Um, even though they often don't choose partners from this place, the only way that they really get into relationships that work is they have to find people who they trust.

Um, because if there's not, if there's not a sense of like transparency and open communication and healthy relating that way, if a fearful avoidant starts getting trust wounded in a relationship, like they think somebody is lying or deceiving or being deceitful, um,

they spiral very fast and they sabotage very quickly to go back into self-protection.

So those are some of the typical themes you'd see in a fearful avoidant before they do the work.

To the point where it's actually wild.

So this morning, so I have done the work a long time ago and I've been with my, I actually married a dismissive avoidant and we did the work together.

And we've been together for 11 years and very happily married.

But the work, which is so interesting, is the hypervigilance won't go away.

Like you're just trained to notice everything.