Thais Gibson

They want to go deep into everything.

Um, but as soon as things feel too confronting, they're like, come get close, come get close, let's get really close.

And then somebody gets close and they're like, get back.

And they're very hot and cold and they kind of flip flop.

And it's because that's the deep wiring, right?

Love has been a really beautiful thing and you've seen the depths of it and the depths of hardship.

And there's a lot of empathy and compassion that FAs really carry.

Um,

But the flip side of it is that love is a threatening thing and you've had really painful experiences around it.

And so the conditioning at a subconscious level that's really hosted there is like, I really want this thing and it's really good and it's also really bad at the same time.

And so I just need to stay three steps ahead of everything and read between the lines and notice all the micro expressions and body language and tone of voice changes.

And that's how I'm going to predict your behavior.

And if I can predict your behavior, then maybe I can feel safe enough to open and to be vulnerable.

And so, so a lot of fearful avoidance have kind of up and downs in their relationships because they love hard, but they pull away hard and they're, they're.

you know, scared of love as much as they love love.

And so they tend to, you know, get into dynamics with people where there's a lot of ups and downs.

They often connect very well with anxious partners early, but interestingly, they often end up investing in and kind of being the most drawn to the dismissive avoidance because dismissive avoidance are safe.

And fearful avoidance usually didn't have a lot of safety.

Dismissive avoidance are kind of calm and they're grounded and more reliable, but they still keep them guessing because, you know, fearful avoidance don't know how to love or feel love without some kind of chaos.

And so, yeah, so those are the types of themes and patterns you'll see as adults.