Thais Gibson

Or I'm unavailable to myself because I don't speak for my own emotions.

I people please and focus on everyone else.

Like the things that you'll see that you end up investing in are always patterns within self-first relationships.

And it can be really meaningful to see that and then start doing the rewiring to change it.

So the rewiring exists in the core wounds.

It exists in us meeting our needs as the second pillar.

So trauma are the things that happen to us that shouldn't have happened, like abuse or painful circumstances that imprint us with core wounds.

But also it's the things that didn't happen that should have happened.

So for example, if you grow up in a, that's a Gabor Matze quote, by the way.

I'm obsessed with him.

Yeah, I love him.

And if you grew up in a childhood, for example, where you were supposed to get emotional connection, but you were neglected, right?

That's its own trauma, just in a more obscure form.

And so what we do in our healing for pillar number two is we write down, we put a list on our page of mom and dad, and we write down all the needs that we didn't get met, that we yearned for.

Mm-hmm.

And we learn to give them to ourselves first, because until we do that, we will keep over seeking them from others and we won't know how to self-source them.

And then we're always running from person to person.

Like we're pulling into a gas station and our gas tank is fully empty and that gas station better be open.

And, and so for example, if somebody grew up and they

didn't get consistency or they weren't, they didn't feel soothed consistently, they're going to be like, oh, my partner should always soothe me.