Thais Gibson

So, you know, and I always say to people behind every criticism is just a need.

And we say, you don't care about me.

You didn't call me enough.

You didn't make an effort.

And all that people hear when that happens is that you're criticizing them.

And all people are going to do is shut down.

Because as a child, when you were criticized, what happened?

You then got punished.

So now you're bracing for punishment, not trying to figure out and decipher what somebody's needs are.

Yeah.

So what we do is we get people to say, hey, this is what came up for me.

So, for example, hey, I felt a little bit hurt this week because I didn't hear from you as much as I hope to.

And can we do a call every evening before bed for 15 minutes?

And when they're able to say that, now we actually have constructive communication.

And then we flip it back around because if there was a conflict, usually there's two sides.

And then maybe the person on the other side, if it originally wasn't done well, they say, oh, like if somebody was a little bit critical, they might say, OK, fine.

I hear your need.

I can see why you felt like that.

So they validate the person's feelings.

And then they turn around and they get to say, OK, and, you know, for me, I'm a little sensitive if communication is harsh or a little critical.