Thais Gibson

Right.

So, so if somebody is constantly fearing abandonment because that's a huge wound and it's popping up for them all the time and then they go, okay, let me do some somatic breathing and nervous system regulation work.

But then three hours later you get the fear of abandonment again.

It's kind of a bandaid.

So, so nervous system regulation is extremely important, but it's our third pillar on purpose.

And, and same thing when we have deeply unmet needs, um,

and then we're not getting them met, we feel sad.

That gives us feedback.

Whenever we have unmet needs, I always give people the analogy that if you took me,

and I love people and I love emotional connection and you threw me into a foreign country where I don't speak the language as anybody else at all.

And in the theoretical world, I have no phone and no way of contacting people.

I am going to feel sad.

Like I am eventually going to feel homesick and lonely because I'm going to miss people and miss emotional connection.

And that's a good thing.

That's literally my emotional feedback system saying, hey, go do something, go adapt, go learn the language, go get a phone, go call home.

And so when we have unmet needs, we should feel sad.

That's actually feedback for us.

But a lot of times what we do instead is we have unmet needs, we feel sad, and then we tell a story about it based on our wounds.

And we say, oh, nobody loves me.

I'm going to be alone forever.