Thais Gibson

So somebody could be secure at a young age when a lot of these experiments are originally done and then they can go through relationship struggles and become insecure later.

And secondly, I'm always like, oh, maybe it's my sample size of people, you know, because I always see people who are insecurely attached become secure.

So I'm going, okay, maybe that's why...

But securely attached people often end up in relationships pretty early with other securely attached people.

And we can get into why that happens at a subconscious level because you usually pair up with people of a specific attachment self for specific reasons.

But to your point, I wonder the same thing.

I'm like, come on, this data, I don't know.

But the other 50% of the insecure attachment is gone.

Real abandonment is the obvious.

A parent passes away at a young age, God forbid, or a parent is, they leave at a young age for a child, and all of a sudden that child grows up feeling like, oh my gosh, am I going to be left or abandoned again?

Perceived abandonment is really interesting because the neuroscience of trauma tells us that small t trauma repeatedly enough over time has a quite similar impact to

a singular big T trauma.

So perceived abandonment consistently in a child's upbringing caused them to have real, real abandonment wounds as an adult, similar to if there was a real abandonment that took place.

And perceived abandonment is things like you have very loving parents, but they're really busy.

They're always working.

They're always traveling for work.

And so children grow up in this environment going...

Okay, love is here and then love is taken away and love is here and it's taken away and that inconsistency there causes this child to really brace and deeply fear love being taken away.

And so as adults, these individuals, they adapt in their life to be like, let me really be charming and charismatic and well-liked so I win people over.

And they end up having superpowers in that way in many forms.