Thais Gibson

But also anxiously attached adults, they people-please so much to the point where they can burn themselves out or they people-please to the point of self-silencing.

And they're big wounds.

So we took this original body of attachment theory and they, you know, it said, here are your four attachment cells.

Good luck.

And it was sort of like, wait, but you can recondition pretty much anything.

Like you can rewire these things.

And I originally started in this work for that reason.

And so what we found is that anxious attachment cells, they have big core wounds specifically around the fear of abandonment, the fear of being alone, excluded, disliked, rejected, not good enough.

These are like these huge wounds and triggers in their relationships.

And they need very specific things in relationships.

They need more validation, approval.

They really like certainty.

If somebody cancels plans with them, they really want to know, OK, you're canceling plans, but tell me when I'm going to see you next.

And then they can sort of rest and feel comfortable and safe.

And so they end up in situations where they sometimes struggle with their boundaries growing up.

They often end up in situations as well where because they're so busy making sure that everybody else is good, they kind of forget about themselves and they put themselves on the back burner.

So anxious attachment styles as adults, they often also are very much invested in and attracted to emotionally unavailable people.

And that becomes really problematic in different ways.

Yeah, so they become attracted to emotionally unavailable people because, and I guess maybe I'll give a little bit more of a backstory to this.

For me, I originally got into this work because I had a turbulent childhood and actually got addicted to painkillers after a knee surgery at 15.