Theo Padnos

There was just, you know... At first, of course, you combat the thing. You're in your denial phase. Like, I got to fight this. But eventually you go, it's too strong. I can't fight it. And they are too strong.

There was just, you know... At first, of course, you combat the thing. You're in your denial phase. Like, I got to fight this. But eventually you go, it's too strong. I can't fight it. And they are too strong.

Probably during the captivity because it's like I so much believed that I was not going to come out of this alive. I gave up on ever coming back to America. I went in kind of thinking, you know what, I'm a writer. I'm like a journalist. This is sort of what I do. I'm good at this shit. And within maybe a few weeks, I'm like, okay, I don't need that stuff. I don't need that stuff. Who cares?

Probably during the captivity because it's like I so much believed that I was not going to come out of this alive. I gave up on ever coming back to America. I went in kind of thinking, you know what, I'm a writer. I'm like a journalist. This is sort of what I do. I'm good at this shit. And within maybe a few weeks, I'm like, okay, I don't need that stuff. I don't need that stuff. Who cares?

Probably during the captivity because it's like I so much believed that I was not going to come out of this alive. I gave up on ever coming back to America. I went in kind of thinking, you know what, I'm a writer. I'm like a journalist. This is sort of what I do. I'm good at this shit. And within maybe a few weeks, I'm like, okay, I don't need that stuff. I don't need that stuff. Who cares?

I just want to live. And anyway, so I gave all of that up. I also gave up coming home. I was like, I don't need that America place. Who gives a shit? I could be happy here. I could have been happy there.

I just want to live. And anyway, so I gave all of that up. I also gave up coming home. I was like, I don't need that America place. Who gives a shit? I could be happy here. I could have been happy there.

I just want to live. And anyway, so I gave all of that up. I also gave up coming home. I was like, I don't need that America place. Who gives a shit? I could be happy here. I could have been happy there.

Well, not in my head. No, I have a beautiful work of art that is about what happens when you submit to a cult like this. That you wrote while you were there? Yeah, that they allowed me to write because they didn't know what I was writing.

Well, not in my head. No, I have a beautiful work of art that is about what happens when you submit to a cult like this. That you wrote while you were there? Yeah, that they allowed me to write because they didn't know what I was writing.

Well, not in my head. No, I have a beautiful work of art that is about what happens when you submit to a cult like this. That you wrote while you were there? Yeah, that they allowed me to write because they didn't know what I was writing.

No, in English. They're not good at English, these guys. You can know something about their education by the fact that they can't understand a word of any language except Arabic. They don't want to because Arabic is the language of God. They want to know more of the Quran, but they don't. Tell me about that day when you were released.

No, in English. They're not good at English, these guys. You can know something about their education by the fact that they can't understand a word of any language except Arabic. They don't want to because Arabic is the language of God. They want to know more of the Quran, but they don't. Tell me about that day when you were released.

No, in English. They're not good at English, these guys. You can know something about their education by the fact that they can't understand a word of any language except Arabic. They don't want to because Arabic is the language of God. They want to know more of the Quran, but they don't. Tell me about that day when you were released.

So much of what they were telling me at the time was like nonsense. You know, we're going to kill you. We're going to hang you. We're not going to kill you. We're going to send you home. You're going to be going to live here as a dummy, like you're going to pay taxes and be a citizen of our state. And for two years they had been like making up lies for me.

So much of what they were telling me at the time was like nonsense. You know, we're going to kill you. We're going to hang you. We're not going to kill you. We're going to send you home. You're going to be going to live here as a dummy, like you're going to pay taxes and be a citizen of our state. And for two years they had been like making up lies for me.

So much of what they were telling me at the time was like nonsense. You know, we're going to kill you. We're going to hang you. We're not going to kill you. We're going to send you home. You're going to be going to live here as a dummy, like you're going to pay taxes and be a citizen of our state. And for two years they had been like making up lies for me.

So when they finally said we're going to send you home, I didn't believe them. I thought they might be putting me in this truck because they're going to drive me out into the field to kill me. But at a certain point, we stopped at a clothes shop. I got rid of all the clothing they had given me, which at this point, I was dressed like them. I was in a Mujahid outfit. So I got rid of that.

So when they finally said we're going to send you home, I didn't believe them. I thought they might be putting me in this truck because they're going to drive me out into the field to kill me. But at a certain point, we stopped at a clothes shop. I got rid of all the clothing they had given me, which at this point, I was dressed like them. I was in a Mujahid outfit. So I got rid of that.

So when they finally said we're going to send you home, I didn't believe them. I thought they might be putting me in this truck because they're going to drive me out into the field to kill me. But at a certain point, we stopped at a clothes shop. I got rid of all the clothing they had given me, which at this point, I was dressed like them. I was in a Mujahid outfit. So I got rid of that.