Thomas Curran

Yeah, it can.

And that's the thing.

Like, I don't think there's, you got to be aware of anyone promising like a quick fix.

Some, someone's going to come along and take away those feelings overnight.

It's never going to happen.

and you're always going to harbor them and i think it's not i don't think it's any it doesn't help people to tell them that you know what if you just employ this this and this but suddenly you're never going to feel these things again for a number of reasons one because they're quite they're quite natural feelings but two because the world bombards us with messaging telling us to feel those things

So actually, I think it's counterproductive to go, well, this is all your responsibility and your accountability to fix.

And if you apply these principles, then you'll be able to overcome those feelings.

Well, actually, what happens when at the end of all of those things, you still find yourself in a society, in an environment that pushes on your insecurities all the time, right there where you left it.

And actually now, not only do you feel those things, but also you feel shit about yourself because you can't overcome them because you've employed these practices and you still feel this way.

Do you know what I mean?

So the thing is, this is my critique, I suppose, of the self-help industry in some respects that ignores these broader factors.

and that that actually i think is super super important when we're trying to understand ourselves and also the world the world we live in so i i think that's a really good message actually that actually you're gonna you're gonna feel these things they're quite normal particularly in this environment and it's not really about like trying to eradicate them

i'm all trying to work with them trying to identify them be able to go through life realizing and label them okay that's that's that's a you know that's a that's a self-critical thought i need to yeah i need to reflect on that um you know that's that's my insecurity talking there that's not you know that's not uh reality etc so you know it's just about being more aware of ourselves and identifying those thoughts and feelings um and having you know good ways to manage them uh or reframe them that's the most important thing but not that we can eradicate

Um, I think it's mainly, you know, research is me searching this respect.

So it's definitely, uh, um, something I've carried with me throughout my whole life and probably will, um, move it forward.

Uh, so definitely there's a, there was a personal aspect to it.

I think for me, my perfectionism really took a, took a dark turn in my mid twenties when I was pushing myself well beyond comfort.

And then it interacted with life stress, something that came out of the blue that I couldn't control.

And instead of slowing down and just reflecting, healing, finding ways, talking to people and working through that stress, I decided that I'd let my perfectionism take control and double down.