Timmy No Breaks

We're going to meet your first bucket pool at once.

It goes by the name of Chase Alexander, everybody.

Your first bucket pool of the night is Chase.

Someone said I look divorced.

I'm 30, all right?

Another person said I look like Will Smith is my favorite rapper.

And then someone else said I look like a substitute that just got out of prison.

I'm like, all right, that's three insults.

There's two people in this group chat.

This is why I never asked my parents for shit anyways, you know?

Like I'm going on a date, I'm trying to send a selfie.

How do I look in this shirt?

This is what they fucking say to me.

But I go on the date and I'm getting fatter.

I'm trying to articulate that in my profiles, right?

So like every photo I get like a little bit fatter and like the current one is like what I am now.

But I go on this date, the chick's looking at the phone, looking at me and she's like, you look like a Russian doll that ate all the other versions of yourself.

And I'm like, are you in that fucking group chat with my parents?

Cause like that is just too fucking good.

But I am seeing a chick right now, believe it or not.