Timmy No Breaks

You know their time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten.

That means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear, which rudely interrupts them.

And then I conduct an interview with them.

I find out if there's anything else interesting about their lives and we get to all meet them together or see them again if they've been lucky enough to be pulled before.

That's about it.

You guys ready to start tonight's fucking show?

I'm going to pull a name now.

And while we go wrangle our first bucket pool of the night, boy, do I have a treat for you.

To get this show jolted from the start, I present to you a guy so powerful that he's normally the closer.

He's a Hall of Famer.

known for having more sets on this show than any other human in the history, the 13-year history of Kill Tony.

Some people call him the Saratoga Singer, the Memphis Strangler, the Vanilla Gorilla.

This is the Big Red Machine, the one and only William Montgomery.

Tony, I'm about to be fucking threatening violence against Red Band's mom's pussy tonight.

This town is not big enough for the both of us, said two clinically obese people.

And by the way, Red Band, your mama was so fat, now there's an Ozempic shortage.

The Reverend Jesse Jackson just died and I'm trying to figure out what he did to piss off Hillary Clinton.

I asked ChatGPT to explain the concept of God in the shortest terms possible.

It wrote back two words, Apex Twin.

Okay.