Todd Davis

Don't throw them away, but suspend your thoughts, your response long enough to really hear the other person to the point where when they finished, you say, gosh, help me understand more about that. Or when you said frustrated, tell me what about that. And I'll tell you, when you start to listen with empathy to someone, they are shocked, but shocked in a good way because so few of us do it.

Don't throw them away, but suspend your thoughts, your response long enough to really hear the other person to the point where when they finished, you say, gosh, help me understand more about that. Or when you said frustrated, tell me what about that. And I'll tell you, when you start to listen with empathy to someone, they are shocked, but shocked in a good way because so few of us do it.

Don't throw them away, but suspend your thoughts, your response long enough to really hear the other person to the point where when they finished, you say, gosh, help me understand more about that. Or when you said frustrated, tell me what about that. And I'll tell you, when you start to listen with empathy to someone, they are shocked, but shocked in a good way because so few of us do it.

And so you have that person, those people, and when we do it – when I was the chief people officer for 18 years, this is very true. I can't tell you how many times I'd be in my office with two leaders that didn't get along or even just one-on-one with someone that were trying to work out a problem. And if we were there for an hour, I would talk maybe I'll bet eight to 10 minutes of that hour.

And so you have that person, those people, and when we do it – when I was the chief people officer for 18 years, this is very true. I can't tell you how many times I'd be in my office with two leaders that didn't get along or even just one-on-one with someone that were trying to work out a problem. And if we were there for an hour, I would talk maybe I'll bet eight to 10 minutes of that hour.

And so you have that person, those people, and when we do it – when I was the chief people officer for 18 years, this is very true. I can't tell you how many times I'd be in my office with two leaders that didn't get along or even just one-on-one with someone that were trying to work out a problem. And if we were there for an hour, I would talk maybe I'll bet eight to 10 minutes of that hour.

They talked the rest of the time. And so we'd finish this session and I would almost start laughing because they would say, God, this was so helpful. Thank you so much. I can't believe you are just so wise. And I'm thinking, well, I didn't say much of anything. I just listened. But that is the power.

They talked the rest of the time. And so we'd finish this session and I would almost start laughing because they would say, God, this was so helpful. Thank you so much. I can't believe you are just so wise. And I'm thinking, well, I didn't say much of anything. I just listened. But that is the power.

They talked the rest of the time. And so we'd finish this session and I would almost start laughing because they would say, God, this was so helpful. Thank you so much. I can't believe you are just so wise. And I'm thinking, well, I didn't say much of anything. I just listened. But that is the power.

of really listening with empathy, not trying to have all the answers, but helping others really be reflective of what they're feeling and what they're thinking. I mean, I loved your example of the interaction you had with this person who you realized, and hopefully it was unintentional on her part, but where she was just kind of manipulating the whole conversation with this marionette puppet.

of really listening with empathy, not trying to have all the answers, but helping others really be reflective of what they're feeling and what they're thinking. I mean, I loved your example of the interaction you had with this person who you realized, and hopefully it was unintentional on her part, but where she was just kind of manipulating the whole conversation with this marionette puppet.

of really listening with empathy, not trying to have all the answers, but helping others really be reflective of what they're feeling and what they're thinking. I mean, I loved your example of the interaction you had with this person who you realized, and hopefully it was unintentional on her part, but where she was just kind of manipulating the whole conversation with this marionette puppet.

And a good listener can help somebody come to that realization and saying, so help me understand why you respond like that. Well, because she says this thing and it triggers me. Okay, but do you have to be triggered? Is that something you could, you know, and I'm not trying to get into therapy here. I'm just saying empathic listening.

And a good listener can help somebody come to that realization and saying, so help me understand why you respond like that. Well, because she says this thing and it triggers me. Okay, but do you have to be triggered? Is that something you could, you know, and I'm not trying to get into therapy here. I'm just saying empathic listening.

And a good listener can help somebody come to that realization and saying, so help me understand why you respond like that. Well, because she says this thing and it triggers me. Okay, but do you have to be triggered? Is that something you could, you know, and I'm not trying to get into therapy here. I'm just saying empathic listening.

We care about these relationships at work and in our personal lives. We'll truly seek first to understand.

We care about these relationships at work and in our personal lives. We'll truly seek first to understand.

We care about these relationships at work and in our personal lives. We'll truly seek first to understand.

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. So someone will say, I will change the names to protect the innocent. But someone was frustrated that they weren't getting any recognition for the work they were doing. And they were on this project team, and they said, you know, and I'll just use Joe as the leader. Joe never calls me out.

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. So someone will say, I will change the names to protect the innocent. But someone was frustrated that they weren't getting any recognition for the work they were doing. And they were on this project team, and they said, you know, and I'll just use Joe as the leader. Joe never calls me out.