Tom Bellamy

And your executive brain that should be sending feedback to moderate that desire, that gets weakened.

So it's a known phenomenon that there are some natural rewards.

So gambling is the best studied, but people often talk about addiction to

the internet or to shopping or to pornography or various other behaviours that can become addictive.

Now, this is different to, say, cocaine or alcohol addiction or some other drug of abuse because there, of course, you are introducing a chemical into your body that will directly affect the brain and directly change the operation of the brain.

So there is a bit of a distinction there, but I would definitely class limerence amongst those kind of behavioral addictions.

So the changes in the brain are real.

You drive yourself into a state where you want someone to such an extent that it becomes irresistible.

Sure, so you're absolutely right.

If you're able to have an open relationship with the person that you've become limerent for,

then it can be wonderful.

You can just form a kind of a union, an ecstatic union together and enjoy the fireworks.

But if you're not able to do that, and unrequited love is a good example of that, but even worse is if you become limerent for somebody and there are kind of constraints.

So there's barriers like professional barriers or social barriers, like the person that you're infatuated is married or, you know,

You can think of examples where you're not able to openly declare your feelings.

So in that circumstance, there is kind of uncertainty built into the relationship.

And that can be a very powerful force for reinforcing limerence and driving it into that state of addiction.

So to get out of it, what you have to do is essentially reverse that training.

So you've accidentally trained yourself into this altered mental state.

So you need to do the things that will reverse that training to help you kind of reestablish your psychological stability.