Tom Bellamy

Like I've also struggled with some mental health issues in my past and limerence can feel a lot like mania.

And I've wondered, is it some sort of disorder?

Or perhaps, and I think you make this argument, it's kind of just a biological trait.

It's something that just happens to some people.

Yes.

So I don't think that limerence is a mental disorder.

It can, like many other psychological states, it can get out of control.

And so you can get into limerence and it can be because of circumstances, either kind of your own personal circumstances or just the way that you and this person that you're infatuated with

behave with one another it can escalate so you can move from that sort of massive sense of elation and euphoria and excitement about being with the other person and all that kind of romantic promise and the rush the like massive natural high that's kind of like nothing else in life really and

that can progress and it can get into a state that is very like an addiction.

So you can essentially become addicted to the other person.

The natural high that you get from them is so powerful that it can progress into a habit and a compulsion and you start suffering from intrusive thoughts and a kind of involuntary craving.

to be with them.

So it stops feeling like the wonderful early honeymoon of love and starts to feel quite psychologically distressing and hard to manage.

When you say addiction, is that sort of metaphorical or does similar stuff happen in your brain to like if you're addicted to gambling and you're at the slot machine or you're addicted to, I don't know, cocaine and using the drug?

Is it similar to other forms of addiction in terms of what is happening in your brain?

Yes, it is.

So what you've described there, so things like gambling addiction.

So that's termed a behavioral addiction.

And I think limerence is exactly like that.