Tom Bellamy

I'm on the edge of my seat.

What are some of those things?

Okay, so the three big steps.

The first is limit contact.

So you want to try and kind of withdraw the supply.

So separate yourself as far as you are able from the other person so that you're just not reinforcing the contact.

The second one is you want to train your executive brain.

So that's got weakened.

So you want to do exercises that help reinforce your willpower.

The third is you want to spoil the reward.

So you need to break the association between them and a source of reward.

And one good way to do that is to remember and focus on the times where you've had bad experiences with them and almost train yourself.

to break that sense of they offer all this promise and this bliss.

No, instead, they also offer pain.

Focus on that for a while.

I love it.

That's right.

Yeah.

So this is a term I use for that.

So where you have a happy daydream about this other person, spoil it, deliberately change the ending so that they say reject you.