Tom Bellamy

You can think of examples why you're not able to openly declare your feelings.

So in that circumstance, there is kind of uncertainty built into the relationship.

And that can be a very powerful force for reinforcing limerence and driving it into that state of addiction.

So to get out of it, what you have to do is essentially reverse that training.

So you've accidentally trained yourself into this altered mental state.

So you need to do the things that will reverse that training to help you kind of reestablish your psychological stability.

I'm on the edge of my seat.

What are some of those things?

Okay, so the three big steps.

The first is limit contact.

So you want to try and kind of withdraw the supply.

So separate yourself as far as you are able from the other person so that you're just not reinforcing the contact.

The second one is you want to train your executive brain.

So that's got weakened.

So you want to do exercises that help reinforce your willpower.

The third is you want to spoil the reward.

So you need to break the association between them and a source of reward.

And one good way to do that is to remember and focus on the times where you've had bad experiences with them and almost train yourself.

to break that sense of they offer all this promise and this bliss.

No, instead, they also offer pain.