Tom Schwartz

No, it wasn't Pride.

I would have toughed it out for Pride. I would have not had an existential panic attack on Pride.

I would have toughed it out for Pride. I would have not had an existential panic attack on Pride.

I know. I haven't had a panic attack in a long time. How's your anxiety? How are you? Just generally speaking. You look great. Thank you. What's it like having a big head? What are the pros and cons?

I know. I haven't had a panic attack in a long time. How's your anxiety? How are you? Just generally speaking. You look great. Thank you. What's it like having a big head? What are the pros and cons?

You guys, we're thinking about going down into the field. I don't know if you guys want to come along for the ride. We were thinking about going to our favorite spots. We're going to have a few more Smirnoffs. You know what I saw before I came here? I was sitting outside. I read this article, and it says, when you die, you play seven minutes of the best moments of your life. Have you seen this?

You guys, we're thinking about going down into the field. I don't know if you guys want to come along for the ride. We were thinking about going to our favorite spots. We're going to have a few more Smirnoffs. You know what I saw before I came here? I was sitting outside. I read this article, and it says, when you die, you play seven minutes of the best moments of your life. Have you seen this?

Seven minutes. I don't know how reputable this resource was, but I thought that was kind of romantic. And I was thinking, Zach, what would the highlight reel look like? Seven minutes of your life so far.

Seven minutes. I don't know how reputable this resource was, but I thought that was kind of romantic. And I was thinking, Zach, what would the highlight reel look like? Seven minutes of your life so far.

We're besties.

We're besties.

I can remember my first time going to the Abbey, like it was yesterday. I just felt like I had arrived. I felt like I was in the right place at the right time. It was like 2009, and I'm like, this is exactly what I wanted.

I can remember my first time going to the Abbey, like it was yesterday. I just felt like I had arrived. I felt like I was in the right place at the right time. It was like 2009, and I'm like, this is exactly what I wanted.

Guys, I know I'm straight, but I just was like, I feel, I've never felt more myself than I did at the Abbey in West Hollywood, pursuing my dream of being an actor, living with Tom and Jack. Anyways, I just felt like I was at the right place at the right time, and everything was coming together. Did you feel that when you first moved here? I did.

Guys, I know I'm straight, but I just was like, I feel, I've never felt more myself than I did at the Abbey in West Hollywood, pursuing my dream of being an actor, living with Tom and Jack. Anyways, I just felt like I was at the right place at the right time, and everything was coming together. Did you feel that when you first moved here? I did.

No, it was terrifying. I had a pretty good job. I wasn't like raking it in. But once I got out here, I had $3,600. And it was gone in like a month and a half between rent, first and last month's rent. And I felt like I didn't have a pot to piss in. But it was gig economy. We grinded it out. We had no shame. Never said no to a job.

No, it was terrifying. I had a pretty good job. I wasn't like raking it in. But once I got out here, I had $3,600. And it was gone in like a month and a half between rent, first and last month's rent. And I felt like I didn't have a pot to piss in. But it was gig economy. We grinded it out. We had no shame. Never said no to a job.

The true testament to one's commitment to being out here is how low will you stoop? How many times, Zach, have you had to pass champagne out shirtless at a private party? Or d'oeuvres, chicken tandoor with mango chutney with your shirt off? I've been there, done that a few times.

The true testament to one's commitment to being out here is how low will you stoop? How many times, Zach, have you had to pass champagne out shirtless at a private party? Or d'oeuvres, chicken tandoor with mango chutney with your shirt off? I've been there, done that a few times.

They told me to put my shirt back on. One time I was at a party. One time I was at a party, because we worked a lot of private parties, really cool clients. Really great jobs. A lot of the times, in case you guys are wondering, they would pay us maybe $300 flat rate for the night, and then they'd throw us out an extra $100. So it's like $400, you work like three, four hours.