Tom Simon

But the only seat open was a middle seat, right?

Because that's how Southwest rolls.

You don't get an assigned seat.

And she's in the back between two dudes.

Now, what she didn't know is that her seatmate on the aisle seat was 40-year-old Jeff Lorenzo of Winters, California.

And he was very, very drunk.

Okay.

Let's jump back a little bit.

Jeff was coming back from a work trip, and he was drunk before he even got to the airport that day.

And he continued drinking with his buddies at the airport, downing beers and shots like it was his bachelor party or something.

And at the bar, the bar inside the airport, he starts getting rowdy and he starts like touching the faces of like strangers in the bar.

And he starts spitting on the floor of the restaurant and using foul language, maybe even the F word at full volume, Matt Cox, right?

Making a total nuisance of himself.

When he went through the TSA checkpoint, probably before the bar, I don't know if the bar was on which side of security it was, he gets searched by TSA, and he gets upset and starts yelling the N-word at the TSA person who searched him.

And you know what N-word I'm talking about.

We're not going to say it, but you know it's a bad, bad N-word.

I'm surprised he got through T. Of all the N-words, this is the worst.

Okay, I would never say it.

I get weird even saying N. Okay.

So he's so wasted that, you've flown Southwest, right?