Tom

Me and me mate got together and thought it would be a great idea to egg the cunt's house.

So I lived right next door to him.

He lived across the road from me mate.

And we went, right, let's go see how many eggs we got.

So we got three cartons.

Peel out the front.

Me mate goes, hey, watch this.

We're going to be smart about this.

So me mate cracks an egg really gently on his brother's ute that was parked out the front so he didn't scratch the paint, is what he said to me.

Threw one on his doorstep, one on my doorstep, and one on the other neighbour's doorstep.

And then we unloaded the rest of the cartons on that cunt's house.

Ran off, hit out the back, got into his dad's Jack Daniels and Siggy's that he hides in the boat.

No wuckers.

Half an hour later, parents come looking for us.

You fucking dickheads egged that cunt's house.

We couldn't stop smiling.

They knew it was us.

So coppers turned up, bloody, because he'd called the police on us, bacon and eggs, as we liked to call it.

And, yeah, we got away with it, obviously, because my mate's dad went to the cop.

Well...