Tommy Bowe

Right.

What are you doing? Yeah, what got me was the yank of the headphones. That's like a, just a little look-see, a little peek through to see how maybe violent this person might could be. And that's not a good sign. You should never yank on someone's thing.

Like, oh, this one thing he's super controlling. And if it's this extreme, that's what it is. It's like if it's this extreme over that one thing, then it's got to be leaking into other parts of the relationship.

And there's also a world in which, I know she said it might overwhelm her to do something so extreme, but you can take fantasy and take a droplet of it and bring it to reality and explore that. Totally. You know, maybe.

Like, how could I do that with you, you know?

Just Kyle.

Yeah, I mean, unless it's the naked Pokemon lunchbox, I think it's... What? Where can I buy it?

Yeah. What an awful situation. Silver lining that it's hilarious.

There's two little things you can have when you're hurt from someone. You can have angry, which angry makes you not feel as sad. Or you can have funny, and then you can look back and go, wow, that was so stupid.

What a goof.

What's the prince guy's name in that?

Powerline?

That's his name? Yeah. Wow, good brain.

YouTube gives like the skip ahead button at the bottom. It's like we know they're just talking about fucking goofy movie now.

No. No. No.

Obviously that was not a healthy thing.

You're constantly trying to make up for something wrong that you don't have the space to go.

If someone brought in that lunchbox, we'd be like, oh shit, that's a sick-ass box, dude.

Well, if it's a ghost of a mammal, ghost milk, ectoplasm.

Well, then I'm out.

Are you the author? By Kyle.

That's fucking awesome.

Yeah, probably. Next story.

Yeah, it's made of metal, too. Wow, it hurts.

What the hell? This is another thing of, like, this is a sibling dynamic that this is playing out in. Because, like, outside of the context, it's like... if it's just some gig and you don't really care about it, why not let your brother have it? But clearly it's like, you don't like your brother because of stuff in the past or something, and so this is just something to cling onto.

Right, this person is Matt, the coworker. Deeply insecure man, obviously. Yeah. Very fragile, fragile masculinity. Yeah, what a little asshole, that guy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Incredible.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's like, do you hear how you sound right now?

100%.

I hope there's more. Do people, when they write these, understand what they're writing? That's unbelievable.

God, okay, let's see what this story is.

If it's not 100%, I start crying. If it's not 100%, then take out the charger.

Like, I'd go, hey, your phone's at 100. Mine's at 40. Mind if I plug in? And it'd be like, yeah. Right, and that's what it should be.

And then it's like, you know, the prompt of like, here I would probably just be like, hey, because it's most likely not my charger. So I would most likely be like, hey, would you mind if I did this? Yeah, right. But like, any sane person would just be like, sure, yeah, just use it, who cares?

And I was like, nice.

Oh, you're learning who you are. Right, and if you're in a relationship that whole time, you're missing out on some solo time that you would learn more about yourself.

Oh, good.

Time travel.

I've got something stocked that we'll bring up after this is over.

Well, who's it today?

That's a difficult thing. This is a good person, I can tell. I wouldn't be a problem if he's gay, but it is a predicament when it's like your kid is getting in danger. I have an answer, by the way. I have a solution. I know the answer to this. It's tricky because you don't want them to get literally hurt. for how they want to express themselves, and you don't want them not to express themselves.

And it's like, a young person, you can't really take that to them, you know, because they're not gonna be able to, they might not be grown enough to understand that complex feeling of like, I don't want you to get hurt, I don't want you to not express yourself. Anyway, the answer is Taekwondo classes. The answer is Taekwondo classes. Oh.

You put this kid in Taekwondo classes so this kid can defend themself if they need to. Wow, that's great. That's my plan. Wow, perfect. Right, and then they have a cool little hobby.

I was in Taekwondo classes and they were like, why are you wearing a billabong shirt? And I was like, shot!

He's instilling that on his child.

And that's what you have to be. That's why I was like, you can't bring this to him because he's gonna internalize it anyway.

When I came out to my friend's mom, she cried because she was worried I was gonna get hate-crimed. And I was like, oh, that's sweet, but I'm not gonna, most likely. So yeah, it always comes from a good place, quote unquote, but there's still that homophobia that just comes from fear of pain and hurt for this person. But you can't lean into the negatives of society out of fear.

You have to fight against them and just support.

And you just need to foster that human, that growth in this child.

Yeah, Happiny's kind of whatever.

I think it's great. Okay.

With the gold and the whisker.

Well, he's freaking rock and roll.

Oh my god. Dude. You're killing us. Jesus. Well, that was great, Shane.

Oh, that's so sweet. Damn. Oh, my God. Wow. Well, good for you, Oliver. You got a good dad, Oliver.

It's so nice hearing a queer story with a good parent, you know? It's just so nice.

It's a huge factor.

It's like a little pearl comes out.

What? Um, okay. First part of that makes me have an opinion already, but let's hear it.

Okay.

It's not about the cookie.

Right, this is an old thing.

Yeah, hold hands and give a little smooch.

For sure.

Yeah, what's his way to make it better for her?

They'll hide yours.

She didn't do anything to fix this. She could have helped us. She could have done it. She should know that.

Did we just bully ourselves? Yeah.

No. No, we're keeping that. It's kept.

Ooh, an ultimatum in a relationship. That's healthy and cool.

I'm going to guess no headphones. I mean, I guess he's walking around and it's like, and then he went into the, and she's like, please, I'm trying to do something. Oh, you think he's listening to audiobooks? Well, I don't know. Either way, I just feel like the person is not wearing headphones. Okay. Okay.

100%.

Huge cock, a better job.

And as soon as she said, we can just be friends, he's like, great, I need this from you, I need this from you, I need this from you.

Absolutely. You need to be more paranoid. Is that crazy? Yeah, I don't know if this is good. Yeah, I'm like, I'm going to get kidnapped.

Not that I can recall. Not that I can recall.

Yeah, if they're like, hey, hi, I'd like this.

Especially where it's like... I've been to this table one extra time to, like, check on them, and they were annoyed. So it's like, well, then I won't come check on you as often, but that's because you gave me that. And then if they're like, well, you didn't come check on us, it's like, well, I came to see if everything was all right, and you gave me some pissed off. The vibes were wrong.

But you were born with the heart of a server. You respect the people that work. That's really nice.

So I'm sorry.

I was just seeing if your cup was not full.

So then I won't.

Okay, I know where this is going.

Oh no, no, no. He's coming.

Well, first off, there are career servers. There are people who make an insane amount of money and work at really important restaurants. It's a viable and respectable career.

I will say, when you said street sweeper, I thought minesweeper, and I was like, don't click the wrong box.

Important job.

Government jobs.

Right.

Especially in a niche field like that. Right. I understand not wanting to not get a job in your field because then on your resume, it's like, oh, well, if you did this and that. But when your situation is that situation, you need to take what you can get and go and do it because unfortunately, we need to work to live in this scheme that we're in. I will also say,

I was making some pretty good money as a server.

What? You don't realize you're insulting your friend? What do you think's gonna happen here? And the author kind of set the author. We read a book today. the OP kind of said where it's like, hey, you're calling my job low, but, like, you know, you're in kind of a low circumstance, so it's like, don't be hypocritical like that.

It's not all of you.

Yeah, I know.

and you're interfacing with people and it takes a lot of mental energy and it's like, it's certainly not low, it's quite a skilled, I was, and this is, I'm being vulnerable here, I was kind of a bad server. Because you gotta keep track of so many things and then it's like all the, oh we're closing, you gotta remember to do all the doodads and things. And every time I counted money, I was over.

And I wasn't over, it wasn't over. So I was putting in the wrong numbers and I would count that money. for an hour, and I was always wrong. I was a bad closer, but anyway. How were you wrong? How did you? I don't know. I counted that money, and I thought I was right, and they were like, Tommy, you're over. And I was like, how? And then they'd count it, and they were like, it's fine, you're wrong.

And I was like, I don't want this job anymore. And then I scaled back to not closing. Anyway, it's a skilled thing.

Okay. Here we go.

No.

He should have just taken lower pay than no pay. What is he doing? Get your foot in the door and then work your way up. they say. Or use it to leverage in a different company.

He's had five years to cook.

Okay. Maybe they deserved it. I don't believe it. I just wanted to, I don't believe that. Unless they were like, spit in my food. How much is an add-on of spit? Yeah.

That's disgusting. That's awful.

Effectively. that she still works there. The fact that everyone else at that job is like, oh, you snitch. I'm like, maybe get a different job.

A dine and dash? After tormenting someone?

Aw, little baby.

Right.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I was just thinking in my head if I would like, what would be my lie? Because I don't know if I would be like, your server spat on your food. I'd be like, a cup of bleach fell into the oil. You cannot eat that chicken or you'll die. I don't know, they wouldn't do that. But I'm like, I don't know what lie I would cook up, but I would definitely try and get that dish back.

I would definitely try and get it back.

I'd put on like a disguise.

Yeah, like a guy who would like tie a damsel in distress to a railroad track. I'd come on and go, I'd like take it.

Oh yeah, oh yeah. Not personally, luckily, because I was only a server server for a short window of time. because then I worked at like this place that was like, I take the order, I food run, and I, you know, you just become like this all around thing. But shout out to Lorraine in Orlando, Florida, who chased these people down the street. I was like, you're going too far. She's like, yeah, no.

And I poison the other two. And your baby is coming with me.

Well, saying the wallet thing isn't in or out of a character, that is the character.

You're not gonna say that because you're like, I stubbed my toe, I have an expensive wallet and you're bad. Yeah. It doesn't work that way.

I need to clock. 21 and 36. 36 and the mom's the same age?

And they moved in at two months.

Heard.

It just sounds like a not ideal. I mean, there's a world in which that could be fine for someone or whatever, but it sounds like a not ideal, especially since we have this example of who this person is.

Terminator. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Because that was crazy.

Immediately I'm icked out.

What's the whole vibe?

Exactly.

She never asked?

You're hurting the server and not the restaurant. I mean, also the restaurant, but when you dine and dash, so don't do that.

This OP needs to know that a cush life with a hard person is not a good life. No. It doesn't even out.

Absolutely.

I feel bad for how OP's writing where it's like, yeah, I'm not grateful, and it's like, oh, you've fallen for the spell.

There's something deeper and darker.

Yep.

You're always in trouble, they'll always have the power.

For her to not be able to talk to him about this and have to like warn.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Squeak. Can I get a chair squeak for that?

It's true if he's wearing the same color shirt.

Yeah.

My girl is stuck.

No, not I love my mom, but...

We've got to dine and dash that baby. Yeah. Go over there.

No, it's your mom.

Yeah.

Absolutely. But how did her girlfriend even find out? from her. Well, we don't know that she's just scared.

Ugh. Yeah, she's deep in that swamp.

Exactly. They're in a different, not real reality.

Hey, could be cute.

Yeah.

Oh, sure. Molly Shannon.

I don't know if it was like 100%, but like she would come in all the time and she was a literal angel.

The kindest woman. And she was always just like, hey.

It's amazing.

There are. That's true. Yeah. I'm glad we ended with this nice positive one.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Gotta get my daughter a drink. She's gotta get a lube dump, otherwise I fucking ate a gun. Anyways, God. Yes.

It's always Italian restaurants where the craziest things happen.

That's where I was, I did a bunch, that's where I witnessed the craziest things.

Sports bars are crazy. Italian restaurants, it's crazy like in the kitchen because I was like, hey, what the, hey, what the, what the, right. Right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, sports bars, you've got the sportsmen who are drinking.

And then also, if you're in that kind of tier, then the people who are there are like, I thought this was supposed to be classy. And you're like, well, it's not. Yep. Yep, sorry, we're doing American tapas here. Right, it's like they're little burgers. What do you want? Little burgers.

Whether it's on purpose or just out of pattern, he's clearly getting something out of it. Free food. free food, but also like a power trip, whether he's going.

That's a lot.

Also, it's like then, because people, you know, like the bartender or, you know, the server or whatever is supposed to like, if you're looking a little too drunk, they're supposed to stop you. So it's like, oh, well, I'm just going to get wasted and they won't be able to stop me because I'm going to get three drinks.

I didn't have a devil gremlin person. There were just little moments. There's one actor who I won't name. who I adored watching on television. I'm sure he just had a bad day. But I was like, can I get you more barbecue sauce or a house made ranch? And he went, and I went, no. And then there was this guy who ate his entire burger and then tried to return it at the end, and I laughed at him.

Thank you.

Oh, she put a heart, a star, and a smiley face.

I want to know the story of this mom who's like, I can't stand my daughter unless she's drunk.

And it sounds like otherwise she's a fine job waiter.

Right. And how, like, damaging to the person who gets proposed to to be like, I thought... do I not know what a friendship looks like? You know, it's like, oh, I trusted this person, and now suddenly they're doing this. The whole thing was a lie, I guess.

It sounds like they are next door to each other or across the hall or something like that.

Well, she lucked out that he left. Yeah. If you're with someone who's that delusional, then you don't know what's gonna happen. Good thing he didn't show up.

This is a bigger problem for this man.

I'm gonna need more information.

Is OP sitting around in this costume?

I'm not dissing this guy. I just think it's such a specific... It's not a pirate costume, which you could wear to, it's not, this is a singular, anyway.

some nicer things. You're auditioning the hobby with yourself.

Yeah, it's like, you know if you hang bananas up, they don't rot as much? And then she's like, I put all the bananas on every hook. It's like, fuck you for saying that. No.

Definitely not the asshole, because we've got a ghost problem. And he's here to solve it. He got the slimy guy. He caught the green ghost.

Just a healthy hesitation, I guess.

That was great. I loved being like, hey. Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry that you got worked up. Yeah.

You know what it means. Go on.

Oh.

I thought this was a gay couple at first.

Because I was like, oh, if they're like, this is best for him, I'm like, well, they're a little homophobic. They don't want to, but then it's like, oh, they're at the wedding. I'm like, oh, and it's like, I'm his wife. And I was like, oh.

What? Then what?

I wonder if this company stuff has anything to do with it.

They're gonna fall in love.

Slimers hit the fan. Slimers hit the fan. Gross.

They're so young. They're like 18, 19, 20. It's like, these are young people. Leave those people, that's fine.

They just solidified their marriage forever, actually. Yeah, I think so. By having like a, oh, let's see how long you last. They're like, actually, we're in love forever.

Also, what family is placing a bet amongst themselves? It's really disgusting.

Because then she could have been like, no, we're not doing that.

There's just like still like a, not like a sneaky, there's like a sneakiness to it.

If there wasn't a sneakiness to it, it'd be a different story. But like you're ripping off your friend. She paid for a photographer and you used her for a service.

I think she, you know, and because like, again, she said that she hasn't forgiven this person. Just give her the photos and be like, and now this is done.

there's not going to be a lot of like karmic enjoyment out of deleting these photos because it kind of feels petty back even though it is her, she has this ability to do so. But it's like, she doesn't forgive this person, like whatever, give her the photos back and then like distance yourself or cut ties or whatever thing you want to do.

Exactly, exactly.

This freaking birthday money?

It sounds like he has a salary.

Oh, so she's like, oh shit, I'm getting proposed to.

I know. Because the story is you were at someone else's wedding.

Yeah.

If you're going to test someone's chivalry, which is just like, whatever, have the meal, and then see if he offers it, but be prepared to pay for yourself if you wanna do that.

Why would you do that?

Carnival. That's the Super Bowl.

Uh, sorry.

It should be part of that story.

Don't be her friend.

She's like, I was so drunk.

We're ghostbusting your ass, bitch! You blame it on being drunk, and then you're like, you woke up the next day and you're like, what did I do? Like, resolve the problem. Tell everyone, no, it was me. Fix this shit.

Yeah, so rumors fly. The percentage of possibility of something crazy like that.

Damn.

I don't think Daniel's gonna do anything.

Yeah, I never had a MySpace, though.

Whoa.

Okay. That would be crazy. I'm done.

What a weird whatever as long as Nicola's fine. Like, I guess that's the takeaway. That is wild. It's a wacky world out there. Yeah.

But if you said, and I'm gonna cover it.

Wow. Someone made me one, never gave me the login.

Totally. Well, good. Everyone was really disappointing this time.

Yeah, you eat a bunch of pizza and you feel good. Okay, pizza coming? Pizza coming.

We're just best friends. I don't have a bet. Just clarifying that. There is no bet.

They'll be sure to come if I buy them a meal.

Oh my god, that's why the FBI's after me.

The immediate regret.

No. We should do a friendship meter.

Guys, don't propose to someone if you haven't talked about proposing to someone. Period.

End of sentence.

It's a conversation you have with your partner. Hey, dude, you thinking about getting married? Yeah, that'd be cool. Okay, yeah. You sure? Yes? Yeah. Okay. Then you can do a cute little surprise thing. Also, oh, the proposal's in front of people. I'm the Jumbotron in a crowded place.

It's all so like... The character artist is drawing the proposal and then all they look so silly when he's proposing to her. It's just like, why make a big... scene out of it, it's for you two, it's not a show.

I'd be like, do you want a big ol' fancy crazy proposal, or do you want me to just? And not only the talk about a proposal,

Then the bank account came in and it was like, what's that all about?

That's awesome.

The hell are you doing?

And the answer to infidelity is not the other person gets to do it also.

You're making it double worse.

Unless it's Brad Pitt. That's my mom.

Go away! Go away and get out. Just go!

Sorry, that was a quote from Satan?

Right.

You can get manipulated that way.

Moving on from that guy who sucks. So many times I wanted to say post nup clarity. but I didn't say it, and you're welcome.

Okay, that wasn't a call out. She was like, oh. Is this an episode of Everyone Loves Ram? I was gonna say, this is sitcom. Oh, so you can hear me.

Oh man. Like, do you think before she, you know, called him out, did a little sitcom call out, do you think he's actually like not listening to her?

Right.

Right, and you can catch it tonight at 5 p.m. on TBS.

When my dad was first losing his hearing, he's not completely, you know, he wears hearing aids. But when he was first losing his hearing, there was times where it would be like, Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! And he'd be like, huh?

That was awesome, you two.

I'm not on anyone's side, I'm just trying to figure this out. You bought the house, but obviously there's a down payment, you're still buying the house if there's a mortgage that you're paying, right? So she's not paying rent, she's helping buy the house.

Right?

Buy my house.

Right, the like, you should, oh, she's not applying herself. That was like, that feels like not part of this conversation. That feels like a different thing that you're thinking.

Brain rot is probably using a lot of memes, meme culture. It's like lingo that's from TikTok.

And then it's like, I want you to be my sugar mama, but then like, no, I don't want that. But then it's like, you don't want to pay rent anymore. Am I right on that's what she said? The girlfriend doesn't want to pay rent anymore? Or she's being like fussy about it, I guess.

I think it'd be like saying my wife all the time.

The time I was ironic about this until I wasn't With irony irony.

Thank you. Thank you.

I think that's very reasonable.

I was going to pitch long engagement earlier, but I wasn't sure if it was kosher.

But it sounds like they're okay, besides him doing this... red flag moment and then just kind of like, you know, not really getting it all together just yet. But like outside of that, it seems like it might be okay. So yeah, maybe just more time needs to pass.

It is exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who's like, I'm funny! Because then you're like a perpetual audience member. Yeah. There were times where I was like... I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm not being genuine.

Rude to a waiter is so hard for me as someone who has been that waiter.

I've been pitched the, like, we need to be a team no matter what. And that's, it's like, that is a blanket statement which covers things that it shouldn't cover is usually like the tactic of that statement, you know?

Like, you want to have your partners back. Like, you know, you want to support your partner. You want to, you know, work together, you know. Yes, of course. But when it's like, oh, you were just evil. You just quoted Satan. Then, like, I can't... Yeah. There has to be, like, reasonable human morals that are a part of that statement.

I mean, this person, apparently.

True, exactly.

You can't do that. You can't. For those of you at home, it's almost never the waiter's fault. The kitchen, maybe, for example, maybe the printer is malfunctioning and the mac and cheese didn't make it to the back, then it's no one's fault. These people are working hard. And I love you. That last part didn't have to do with the message.

Yeah.

I think for me, it would be about how they're being rude to the waiter. Because if they're being consistently rude to this waiter, I would then be like,

i need to stop this from continuing you know it's like okay we're gonna interact with them probably five more times tonight so let's be nice you know then i would probably be like hey we can talk about this later but like be nice i i don't i'm i'm luckily not friends with anyone who's rude to wait staff same because i don't like that well also like so many of my friends have been that way that's the thing is like especially in la everyone has

It also creates a nice distance between your emotions.

Exactly.

Oh, also, if you befriend your waiter, you often get free things. Or a discount.

It's awful.

I think if she just says, hey, I'm pretty sure we made out last night or whatever night ago. I think we should take some time to think about it and just let it cook in our bodies and then let's talk about it in three months.

There's a way for this to recover if it needs to be just friends. They have the ability. I think so.

Yeah, it definitely needs to be worked out. Also, there's something to be said about a relationship that's lasted that long, a relationship like a friendship, that's lasted that long. You have a stronger ability to recover if it's like someone gets let down, as long as you have a healthy adult

communication thing going on where it's like, like if you have a, if they do date and then it's like, you know what, this isn't really what I want. Then you have like a nice breakup where you just, you know, like talk about it and like, you know, maybe someone's hurt, but like you have that structure that you can lean back on. So it's like,

Yeah. Yeah. Update. I knew it. They're in love. They have to be. They're in love and they have three and a half children.

You too! Love exists!

So. Very smart person. Yeah. The way that she was like, you know, I don't wanna lead a mom, I need to do these kinds of steps, and it's like, wow, how about that?

Wow, love's real. That was awesome. We're sleeping so good tonight now. That was awesome.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, this was the most complicated gray area stories.

Bye. Bye. Hope your waffles were yummy.

Or you can say, like, I need this from you. Like, I need more serious moments from you, not I don't like how unserious you are, you know? Right.

Thank you.

How's your re... How's your rug?

And we're all 20, so.

Yeah, exactly.

No, that's why I stopped. That's why I immediately went, no, don't ask that.

Yeah, I like the oo-ee-ah cat. I like the oo-ee-ah cat, all the different songs with the oo-ee-ah. That makes me a boomer, and that's fine. And that's fine. I like the oo-ee-ah cat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And or break up right now.

Interesting.

Excommunicated.

It's disgusting, but I'm here with my wife.

First of all, I feel so horrible for this woman who has, on paper, such low self-esteem, either from this incident or from whatever.

Hear me out. The way that this guy reacted to this, I think he is probably cheating on her. Because he's like, that huge reaction of like, oh, well, like, I don't know. I'm like, are you projecting? Like, what's this extreme jealousy all of a sudden?

And that's always going to be floating in the background.

It makes you feel like, did I overreact? As the person who, if something happens to you, you're like, wait, was it maybe not as bad as I thought? Because now they're acting so chill about it. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Right, especially if you, you know, love someone for a certain amount of time and you have this trust and stuff, then you kind of default to, well, you're my partner, so I'm going to, you know, trust in you that you're in the same reality I'm in.

Everybody's got to get cheated on sometimes.

Therapist on Reddit.

That's awesome. Although when a therapist is on Reddit, I go, can I trust you?

That's great. Okay.

Oh, no. One of my tests I wrote, my friends and I made up like a fake language, and I took the test late, and I wrote all the answers that they got on my arm, and so I went in, and they were like, what's that? And I'm like, I don't know. That's awesome.

As a therapist, comma, send pic.

How many months we would use up all those condoms? I think it would be six months worth of time. For two condoms a week? Four weeks and a month?

No way. Maybe he's got six cocks.

Twice a week is awesome. Low libido once or twice a week. I'm celibate, I guess.

That they keep in a big bowl? In the center of the room on the floor? I love condoms being in a bowl.

Right, that's what I meant with that last story, is like, why did you go right there immediately?

That's right. That's more impressive than anything you could have learned. Thank you. So there you go. Yeah, that's a bigger life lesson than I don't know what the fuck I was learning. And you see, we didn't retain it.

Does that mean...

Okay, you already torpedoed. I'm so, you already torpedoed by doing this. Also, she invited herself up to your room. Uh-uh. I believe you invited her to your room.

Yeah.

I guess sex with my wife's pretty cool.

Halfway through, he's got a 20 minute time limit.

I took my shirt off, and then you're like, I don't know.

That guilt is gonna grow inside of him like a little gross little tumor thing.

Incredible.

10 out of 10, now that's the Reddit therapist.

Update.

This guy needs to be bonked in the head with a certain kind of baguette.

It's a little more than that.

It's not ordering a steak too rare. Oh God, that was so stupid.

It's such a shitty excuse. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a good thing that she got out of that, because he clearly is very much creating a narrative for himself that, yeah, I feel like she doesn't know him anymore, so I'm glad she's free of that.

Have fun!

Absolutely. Now this is reading Reddit stories with Smosh.

Okay, daddy. Okay. I understand where he's coming from. Yes. Yeah. It's like, would she do this to me then if she's so on board with this happening over here?

It's all very peculiar. I was just gonna say peculiar. Yeah, really? Yes.

Yeah, that's where it crosses into bad, bad, no, no territory.

He's either a master manipulator or a koala pissed all over him and got that chlamydia.

Well, it's still chlamydia. It's just a different strain. I just don't know if the doctors' tests are looking for the human kind. In general, just the human kind. There's certainly a lot looking for the quality kind.

Oh, my God. Thank you. Oh, no. I was so hoping that we could get this answer. Oh, no. Oh, no.

I love whimsy. Yeah. So I'm going to bet it's koala media.

And so now I have to confess.

It was the koala.

Whimsy isn't dead.

Right. Yeah. Nuance. That's like a fucking seven-layer cake.

I mean, it's up to her.

And it was a very like, you know, mature ending of that post there to be like, you know, it's complicated and I don't want to break up my family.

You know, and she's the only one that talked to him, so if she's there to gauge how he is and how he reacted and stuff, I mean, it's up to her how she handles her marriage.

It's so hard to, yeah. How do you comment on this?

Because they have kids. They have two sons. After kind of already mourning that issue, you know, it's like they already went through the process of like thinking they cheated on each other.

What does your brain do when it's like, oh, so that, oh, it wasn't real, but it was real, but in a different way. You have to, like, redo the processing. That's so crazy.

Right. It's a koala in a sweater. Yeah.

Big wow for me. Big wow. Huge wow.

Coming back. Which we've determined is a baguette that is a mattress.

Part of the baguette's a little soft, part of the baguette's a little, press a button and part of the baguette goes to set you up.

I like memory baguette.

Bye-bye. Goodbye.

It's totally case by case, I feel like, right? I don't know. I've never been in this position, so I guess I don't know what my thing would be.

No, she's doing the opposite.

To hold you accountable, yeah.

We're talking about a $3,000 vacation.

But that would be like, let me talk to her while the car's going 10 miles an hour. This woman's like 60 on the freeway and he's like, Wait. Yeah. So I kind of understand the like, well, she's doing the most already. It's like maybe too late to talk to her about it, but I don't know when the timing of it.

So is it a mattress or is it a baguette?

I feel like it's a couple's counseling moment where it's like now you do have to work through some of it, but her being like, oh my God, wait, you're right. I shouldn't. Then I'd be like, okay, well, I'm glad you came to your senses. Let's figure this out. Let's get back to the mattress baguette.

Is it a baguette? Is it big? Is it small? Is it made of mattress and a regular baguette? Yeah. We have questions that need answers.

We've got this.

Is there springs in the baguette? That's the real question.

No, there's not.

Are we ready? Ready.

So ready.

No, he does not. No. It wouldn't even be a second thought if he did. Like, just go get the pants. That's it. It's so easy. It's so easy. It's so easy.

I get it. University sweatpants might be expensive. They might be like $100. They're raking money there.

Ha-pa-pa-pa-pa. Ha-ha.

Was he the one... Was he the baby daddy?

No mention of that, which makes me think no. But honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if he was, and that was just context that OP left out. Because did you guys ever see that story where the guy was like, my roommate wants me to take care of her baby, and he was the dad?

Oh, no.

Yeah.

I think I'd be enraged by that story.

I wanted to hit him with a car. It was bad. But now I'm really curious, if that is boyfriend, baby daddy...

dude this problem is also because of you bitch like literally what and it's so simple like it doesn't have to be this awkward thing it's like it's p like did you guys see the muppets trend that's going around right now on tiktok where people share muppets to the madonna like a prayer song and they share these like horrendous stories is it beaker right or one of the orange hair and he's like Yeah.

That's one of those horns you go, eh, eh. You know the?

There's like an olive oil story where this girl had like really like hay-like hair. So she wrapped olive oil on her head. And then as she was walking out to the garage, her olive oil had dripped. She slipped, blacked out. The garage lights shut off because they were on a timer. So when she came back in, her family had already gone to sleep and set the house alarm.

So she set the alarm off and the alarm was blaring. What? And then- She goes up to her room and as she's laying back down to go to bed, she sees two people coming up to the door and she goes, oh my God, I have to wake up my dad again because they're robbing my house. What the hell? Turns out it was cops.

Yeah. The clown ones? That's so good. You're welcome.

Because she set the alarm off.

All because of her olive oil head? All because of her olive oil head.

Anyway, it's just like a... That is the craziest story I've ever heard.

So I'll send it to you. You'll get it. But so people are telling these crazy stories to this meme on a slideshow. And this one I saw was this lady being like, we went on our honeymoon to the Chilean mountains. And I was prepared for altitude. I had all the meds. I was ready to go. But my stomach wasn't. And we're on this bus and we're going through the tunnels. Nope. And all of a sudden I felt it.

And there's no bathroom on the bus.

No, there's not. No, and probably not for hours.

No. No, we're crazy. I just go about my life making random sound effects, and sometimes they're too much, but I'm like, you guys actually have the talent.

So I grabbed a plastic bag and I instructed my husband to hold it underneath me like a toilet. And I proceeded to shit in that bag. And everyone on the bus heard me because it was in the open. And slowly but surely people were passing back diapers and wipes for me.

And I'm still happily married. And so I'm like, I hear that. I'm like, he held a bag. A bag for her to shut. As she waterfalled out of her asshole. In a public bus. And this guy can't even bring sweatpants.

Just walk into the woman's bathroom. Just open the door and go, is there anyone else in here? No? Okay.

He does not want to do this.

He wouldn't even give it to a girl outside the door.

Yes.

Oh my God, you're young.

Doesn't matter, young or old, let him go. Exactly.

I know. Baby is amazing. Had baby at 17. I'm not seeing if he's the baby daddy. I'm so curious.

Me too. But also, I feel like it's worse if he is. I agree. It's all bad.

He's 19. I'm 20.

Oh, he's just a young and insecure boy. He's like, I don't want fucking... Yeah. Well, I don't have any money to get sweatpants. You pissed your pants? Ew. That's so weird and so embarrassing. Too stupid.

I'm not... I don't think baby daddy. Yeah, I don't... I'm not getting that vibe. I'm fine with that. Yeah. Oh. I think you gotta break up.

This isn't your person. So he's naughty. You call it. She's nice. Yeah. Guaranteed. Yeah. Yeah.

She's nice.

Mm-hmm.

She just peed herself.

Any update? Did she walk out of there with her sweatpants? No update.

No.

It's hard to have the option of an update because I get really attached to it.

I feel like you do because otherwise you just sound goofy.

Mm-hmm.

You know?

Me too.

I get really attached.

Me too.

And then I'm like, I just have to know that that story exists and never hear anything ever again from it. Yeah. Very hard.

Don't you love when the story gets out there and then they see it and they're like, I saw my story on TikTok. Yeah. So here's the update. Yeah. It happens. Yeah. It happens all the time.

Wow. I need to see those. I need to see those. There are updates I need to see from like past Reddit stories. So many.

I have an amazing, amazing little helper that's put together like a Google spreadsheet for us, which you guys probably do with like all the producers you guys have. Like you probably have like Kiana probably has it going already.

You sound goofy. You guys just sound good. But today, you know, Santa is a busy guy.

I'm sure. Yeah.

But one of my Patreon family members, like, did a whole spreadsheet. And so they've gone back and looked for every story I've ever read. And then now they're putting the updates, if there's an update, in another column. Amazing. So my goal in 2025, I'm going back and I'm going to, like, really pop off with a follow-up album.

Wait, that's amazing. A whole update. That's on my list. See, I would be obsessed with that. A whole update episode. Yes. Tune in for that one.

Yeah. You want an update? Yes. I'll give you an update. What? On this next one.

Oh, okay. I was like, give it to me. Okay, so, so far we have two naughties. Two naughties. Yeah.

Yeah. Two naughties.

Christmas time.

Okay. Let me know if you've heard this one because it did pop off and I've teased it before, but I've never actually gotten to it. So this one is titled, I, female 30, had to protect my niece from a pit bull.

And my husband, male 31, ran off. I've been ignoring him. Is this something that I should be forgiving him for?

He's out there. There's a lot of kiddos he's got to get to. So Santa, you know, I think that's why he can't get to the adults. There's too many kids. He's so busy. Crazy. So we're going to help Santa out. And we are making our own naughty or nice list.

Right.

That actor's from Game of Thrones. That guy.

Yeah, it's like Nordic or Norwegian or something.

It's hard. It's hard. I also think something happened with my friend and I. We were walking downtown and a rat, a guy like opened a door to throw away trash and And she was wearing open-toed, really cute shoes, whatever. And we were, like, arms crossed. And the rat, like, the guy opened the door, put the trash in the thing, and it must have been like, no!

And it ran straight for her foot and went on her foot. And, bitch, I left her ass. I unhooked my arm so fast, and I ran straight. Wow, so you're the bad guy. And she was standing there going... You just left me while that rat like put its whole body on my foot. Yeah.

There's something about rats, dude. I couldn't control my instinct.

I mean, don't get me wrong. If it was like my child and a dog attack. Yeah. That feels a little different. Probably different. But that did happen.

Well, here, let's get into this one.

Let's do it.

Okay. Trigger warning. Animal attack. I'm going to start with this. I'm still a bit traumatized, and I will be finding someone to talk to. And a friend has made this account for me because I'm not a frequenter. Don't know if the pitbull made it. I haven't asked. My husband and his niece and nephew and I were in our backyard. I'm going to assume our gate was open. I can't remember.

It, the dog, came out of nowhere and latched on to his niece. five female.

Niece screamed. I turned, kicked it with all the force I could manage. I was lucky enough to hit it in the jaw somewhere that it made it dislodge. My husband, who had been a few feet away, shouted. Something along the lines of, whose dog is this? I told him to get our bear spray from the house. I was in a panic. Wow. Oh, good. Yeah.

Oh, I love this. Pure Reddit naughty or nice. I love this.

Yeah, because that's what I feel like. That's podcast. Yeah. That's good. But it's not. Too Hot Takes is awesome.

Not towards his niece or nephew, who was also present in an outdoor bassinet that I managed to all but toss onto the picnic table to make sure it was out of the dog's reach.

While holding his niece off my shoulder. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. He's getting angry that I'm giving him the silent treatment, but I feel like it's his fault that I had to possibly end that animal. If he had gotten the bear spray, I literally keep it in my purse for if I'm ever attacked by an animal or otherwise, then I don't think I would have needed to do what I did.

Yeah, we've got, think about all the Reddit stories you've heard this year and how many of them are firmly planted on the naughty list.

It was literally just inside the door. He knows where I keep it. Instead, he literally took off to God knows where. Me and two children that I'm not even related to could have died. It might not even be relevant, but I don't even like kids. I am staunchly child free. Wow. And he is the one that offered us up to babysit for the weekend. I don't know. Is this grounds for divorce?

I'm not sure I can even look at him. Any attraction I had to him is pretty much gone. He tried to touch me yesterday just to move me so he could pass, and I smacked his hand away without even thinking about it, like he was some stranger at a bar. Because it was literally jarring. He's been sulking around, trying to talk to me, and then getting frustrated, and then sulking more.

Almost all of them. Yeah. A lot.

I wasn't expecting him to be macho and fist fight the freaking dog, but at least follow instructions. At least not leave me in a life and death situation with a toddler and an infant. Should I be able to chalk this up to the moment of panic? I don't even know if I want to hear him out.

Yeah. There's a few that I think are slipping through the cracks right now. So we're going to see where they end up.

I know. I was like, huh?

To shut the door on them? Also, like... That just shows, like, where his mind was at. Like, he ran, but to shut the door?

Okay. I'm excited. Do we say naughty or nice after?

Like that is so, so scary that that I've seen dog attacks happen. I have definitely like had a dog that has been in the middle of an attack that I had to like immediately get involved in. And I know some people like don't get involved. You'll get bit. And it's like, well, my, I don't want my dog to be ripped to shreds. Yeah. Right. And it's like, I agree.

I would say that she just needs some time. I would definitely want to hear him out.

But I would feel, yeah, unattracted and like, God, maybe she should not be in the same house right now.

I think like a separation period might be good. Like therapy and then like separation, but would like... would where he went make or break it? Like, would that change it for you? Like, cause I'm like, for me, I'm like, where did he go? And then why did he shut the gate? Like, don't you want the dog to maybe go out the gate and like follow you?

You sure can. Okay.

Like, I was like walking my horse a couple of weeks ago and someone had their dog off leash. And of course the dog sees a horse and goes nuts. Yeah. And it wasn't a huge dog, but it's still like, like coming at me. And my first instinct was to like literally go,

Because sometimes halfway through you're like, naughty.

like at the dog to scare the fuck out of course because your horse could definitely be for protection yeah kill that dog easily yeah which they have if they're off leash yeah you don't want to kill a dog no so i'm like and then it's like you you literally your wife your person is there with your niece and nephew one of which is a baby in a bassinet yeah that really freaked me out

Well, then you get a couple of comments or even an update and then you're like, so true. The update really changes things.

And it's like, there's two of you, you and your wife. There's two kids like you're, you're abandoning her. And then like, this is literally one against the dog with two things to protect. Like where is there? And I get people panic, but at the same time, like then go get the bear spray that she just told you to get.

Where, where did you go? Where did you go?

I get like trying to find somebody, but, But in that moment, she's totally fucked by herself. Also, I would love to know what the parents of these kids did or felt when they learned that. Because one of them's the brother, right? Right? The parents are related to the husband.

Yeah. Not sure which one.

Like, what did they fucking say? They're like, thank God for your wife who doesn't like children saved them. I know that comment. Like, I don't even like kids. It's like, yeah, but they're also kids right there. Of course.

she just she just learned so much about herself where she's like oh in a situation i can like i can step up to the plate yeah and he can't and she did she honestly like that instinct because not everyone that was like a total like fight versus like freeze or fawn like that was like her survival mode she acted so quickly she did and thank god because those little kids like

It does. But let's dive in. Yay! I love this! Yay! Okay, this first one for us, coming from Emma the Asshole, 22 days old now, titled, Emma the Asshole for Telling My Sister-in-Law She Shouldn't Have a Christmas Tree. Oh.

Here we go. Welcome, you guys, to Too Hot Takes.

Oh, yeah. I can't even.

It's just, it's crazy. So, top comment. If it makes you feel better, that dog would have been considered dangerous and put down either way. Correct. You defended yourself and the children from an unprovoked attack. You were so courageous and saved the kids' lives. Be proud of yourself.

Yeah. Love this person commenting. Great comment. I know.

OP responds, I know that consciously, I think, but thank you for saying that because I just feel so terrible. Yeah.

Someone goes, Yes. I'm not seeing a response from OP in the direct thread, but let me go to the account and see if we find anything. Oh. Because that is such a good question. Yeah. I would never trust my brother with my kids again. Never. Never.

Has he even said sorry? Not based on that initial post.

And it's like, yeah, you did.

There's no comments expanding on that from OP about what family thinks.

Wow.

Huh.

Interesting.

Yeah. Someone goes, he absolutely might do it again. Would you feel differently if he told you that he was bitten by a dog when he was small and he just couldn't stop himself from running away?

That's not a bad point, I would say. And dog trauma, which a lot of people have. People have dog trauma, and when they see a dog, they run, no matter what.

And your wife.

Well, and ready for this context? Oh, God. OP responds. The blanket. No, I wouldn't really. Seen as I was attacked pretty badly by a dog when I was 10 or 11. I still have scars on my thigh. I still like dogs. And I would like to think I still reacted appropriately in this situation. 100%. Those kids could have died.

They would have been dead.

I could barely stomach explaining his niece's injuries to his sister. I was bawling, apologizing that I didn't do more. I can't imagine if something worse had happened. Wow.

I can't imagine being his sister. Wow.

Oh, so it is his sister then. It's his sister? Yeah, sister.

Disappointed two women, your sister and your wife.

Yeah.

You're fucked.

Yeah. We used to camp. I trusted he would react appropriately. He also doesn't have any childhood incidents regarding animals that I know of. I was attacked by a German shepherd pretty badly, but I still like dogs. Oh. So like out of all the people that could have reacted poorly in this situation, it was probably OP.

Yeah. Also, they camp. They must live in a place where there's bears if she has bear spray. So like what is he going to do when a bear comes up?

Oh, he's fetal position.

Yeah. For sure. It's done. He's not going to save you.

Which, like, what's that saying? If it's brown, shut it down.

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down. But there's a bear one, too.

So they, yeah. Oh my God. I saw a video of the photographers where they scare away a big grizzly by being loud. I shit my pants.

Yeah. It's really hard. Terrifying. Yeah.

Although the bear safety rhyme, if it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, good night. Sounds like good advice. You have to know why a bear is attacking you before you can decide the best way to respond.

I want to see one so bad.

You can go on a polar bear rides in Manitoba, right in Canada.

It did sound like that.

Could you imagine you go on a bus, but they can climb in the windows and you just like see their little face.

You've never seen it? They see their little face smashing through the glass. I don't think I would lay down if I saw a brown bear, but maybe that's good advice.

I think I'd have to run either way.

And let them smell you?

I think you need to try this polar bear ride. Look how fun this looks.

Look at this.

Yeah, you could handle that.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah.

It's so cool.

I think you could really handle this. Look at how... Excuse you, Google Image. Look at this one. You can get so close to them.

Yeah, no, they could swipe, but you're still good. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, this is on my list. Oh, so cute. This is on my list. So you can handle that. But, okay, back to this one. This is insane.

uh someone goes and i don't like this comment at all okay but someone goes why should he have to protect you would you protect him she did protect him that's part of a who's coming in hot like that yeah is it not part of the part you're married yeah i'm married wouldn't i would protect each other my spouse at all costs would you take a bear for him

I probably would. Yeah, I probably would. I have been in like fight or flight situations and I've always fought. It's more fought. That's kind of always the case. I... I feel like he would fight too. I'm a bit of a freezer. He would never run.

No.

Never run.

But I freeze sometimes too. I'm a freeze. And then once I click back in, I'm like, oh.

That's normal. Deer in headlights for a second.

Yeah. Oh, man. So OP responds, I expect us to protect each other, I guess is what I mean. I didn't expect him to take one for the team. I just expected him to have my back.

It's the best. It's so funny. It's so great. Reddit is, I hadn't discovered Reddit really until I started working at Smosh. Yeah. And now I actually go on it. And I'm like, this is wild.

Oh my God. I didn't want to ask. I'm so glad.

Oh my God. It's like you left her. That was your one chance.

My friend said that people update often, but I don't know how to attach it to the other posts. I thought I'd update since there had been a few things that kind of happened. Sorry if this is needlessly long, and I didn't expect this to get that many comments and so much kindness. And I want to say I'm sorry to everyone that has experienced anything similar, because my God, it has not been easy.

Wow. Wow. Last night, I also told my husband I needed space. Wow. Wow. He cried, and I hate that I felt apathetic towards it. I haven't slept well, so I'm not sure. I'm also just overtired and still shaken, though. I was also emotionally exhausted after the appointment, so that probably added to it. I got a few questions about his sister and her husband, so I thought I would answer. Yay! Yes.

Okay. Okay. Fun.

They aren't speaking with him. Yep.

Knew it. Knew it.

My brother's wife works from home. My brother works in an office. He does the household chores, cooks, and takes the kids to and from school. He told us that's part of why they're not doing Thanksgiving, and they most likely won't do a traditional Christmas either. Sister-in-law was pissed and said she'll do the tree. I said, quote, I don't think you should. She asked me why.

I don't know when it happened. I was definitely out of it at the hospital while I was getting the stitches and everything. But I do think after I was done blubbering and trying to explain how something so terrible happened to their little girl under our watch, they apparently asked him where he was. I still haven't talked to him about where he went, so I don't know.

However, it clearly didn't satisfy them.

Wow. Yeah. I love that. Don't mess with their children.

His niece just got out of the hospital yesterday.

How long has it been?

So this update is coming two days after the original post.

Imagine if it's your brother.

I know, that's even worse. Fuck. So, because she just got discharged, that really triggered everything and a lot happened. I had sent flowers, a bear, and this one toy thing she's been asking about. I didn't go to the hospital, though. I was scared that seeing me would make her nervous. But his sister and her husband sent me flowers too, and it made me ball again.

I'm just a freaking mess, honestly. The father sent me a long message that I haven't been able to get through, but it's the sweetest thing that anyone has ever sent me. He also sent me 1K in a Visa gift card. I literally thought I was reading the amount wrong. They are good people, and I still feel terrible that I couldn't have done more for her.

I mean, she saved their kids' lives. She's awesome. 1K and a Visa gift card? Okay.

1K and a Visa gift card.

I think I can say I'm a fighter and I want a fighter with me. Maybe he'd be better off with a runner instead too. Then at least he wouldn't be leaving someone behind.

She's feeling better. I don't know.

It feels like I'm done, but I'm also just a mess. So right now I'm just glad I have space. Wow. Whoa. I want that update. Let me go to the account.

Let me see if anything's been posted since. At first I was like, there's no way you could divorce someone over this. And then as she was talking and making it real, I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can, I guess.

God. Get with the runner and they can run away together. What a line. I can't handle the sister thing. Love that so much.

I mean, I don't think I'd be able to talk to my sibling either.

No. Accidents happen, and that's the risk. I mean, kids, you can't keep them in a bubble. That's just the reality. Accidents happen, but he left and didn't come back for minutes and didn't come back with the bear spray. Right. Like, he did nothing. He negatively impacted the situation.

Yeah, he did. And he caused more trauma to his wife who had to, you know, act. I wouldn't even think of getting a shovel.

I said, quote, considering my brother will be working and you'll be home, no one is going to watch those kids. They have a history of tearing shit up. She went quiet and everyone else kept talking. A mutual friend called me up and said I shouldn't have gotten involved. My nephews do have a history of getting hurt and breaking things when they're home without my brother, though. Am I the asshole?

Dude, it's just crazy. Yeah. No further updates from OP. No knowledge if, you know, they filed for divorce or anything, but... Yeah. Whoa.

Okay. She's nice. She's nice. And he is.

Definitely.

Unbelievable. But so glad little kids are okay. I just dogs, you know, you just never know. Like animals are still animals and it's just a risk. I got trampled by my horse a couple months ago. Oh my God. Trampled? Yeah. I had a very intrusive thought. It was definitely a me thing. I thought... This is really dumb.

I had a bright idea to crawl underneath him. Okay. Like, I treated him like a bridge, and I ducked underneath, and he got a little freaked out, and he went with his back legs, and I just got tumbleweeded. Oh, my God. Are you okay? Oh, yeah. But I was bruised for at least...

eight weeks i feel like that could have broken bones yeah yeah no i got really lucky and i literally i flew out the next morning for a live show and so i forget what city it was but i showed them my bruises i like literally like pulled my shirt down on stage and they go the whole crowd Like an audible gas.

I was like, I know. You were like, I know. I'll cover these back up.

My knees were like, it was like I got dragged down the road from getting like pounded into the dirt. And my pants were like sticking to my legs. I had to like pull my pants off my like pussy legs. Fuck. It was really bad.

So I'm like, yeah, I'm like, animals are animals. You always have to. Practice safe animal handling tactics.

Always.

Never be too safe. Too sure. Oh, there we go.

Never be too sure. Like, don't have a chimpanzee in your place. Oh, well. Well, that's a good one. Well, that's fine.

What was that one lady that just came out? Tonka? She had a monkey Tonka? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's going on there?

Because she didn't want them to take him?

Did he ruin her face? Did he do anything?

No, that's a different woman. No, I remember that woman.

Oh, man. The face transplant is such a medical like marvel to me.

It's so cool.

It's so cool. Absolutely amazing.

Wow.

Okay.

It's time.

Moving along.

You actually have to pee yourself on that couch.

I am wearing jeans. And then I'm going to refuse to hand you sweatpants that I go buy from the bookstore. Okay.

Oh my God. How is the bathroom?

I do have one pee story, but I think we're going to save it. Okay. Yeah, we're going to move on to this one because I'm a little mixed on this one.

Okay.

I'm a little mixed. I like a little mixed. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see what we think. So this is coming from AITH, One Day Old. Titled, am I the asshole for accidentally letting my sister-in-law get chemical burns on her face?

What's the deal with the sister-in-laws? People do not like their sister-in-laws. You know, it's a tough, tough gig.

Tough world out here.

Yeah, letting her.

Chemical burns.

Which, like, on your face? That's intense.

Okay, without her brother? So she's kind of saying don't focus on the tree because then who's going to watch your kids? Watch your kids. So she essentially just gave a huge dig to her sister-in-law. Right. Like, big dig. Basically, you're incapable of taking care of your children. In my opinion, that is having two sisters with kids commenting on their parenting is just no. You just don't do it.

Awful.

Mm-hmm. Last Friday, she came over after dinner and asked us to stay the night. We agreed since we had no plans. She asked to shower, so we let her use ours, as our guest bathroom isn't stocked yet. I splurge on salon quality hair care products because my hair is unruly, and my $27 shampoo bottle was brand new. Later, I found half the shampoo and nearly all the conditioner gone.

Along with my skincare scattered across the counter. She had used almost $50 worth of hair products and all of my skin stuff, including my prescription skincare, stored in a pharmacy bag.

Oh, no. Why? Why? Half a bottle of shampoo? Damn, girl. You're only supposed to use a dollop of Daisy. Just a dollop of Daisy.

I asked her to bring her own products next time as I wasn't comfortable with how much she used. I was in no way rude. I just explained that I splurge on really expensive products and I can't afford to have $50 of product gone every time she showers here. Right. No. She called me selfish in a passive-aggressive way and ended up leaving.

Yeah, literally. By Tuesday, her skin was red, peeling, and breaking out terribly. At dinner with my in-laws Tuesday, she blamed me for not warning her about my skincare products. I explained I hadn't expected her to dig through my drawers and use prescription products, which are expensive and took my skin weeks to adjust to.

My father-in-law said I should pay for a doctor's visit, but my husband refused, arguing that at 16 she should know better and that it was inappropriate for her to look through my medicine bag to even find the prescription product that was likely the culprit of the irritation.

Uh, yeah.

Am I at fault for not warning her? I wouldn't go through someone's personal products, let alone use their stuff like it was my own. I would have been happy to share some skin products, not my prescription cream. She also brought up that I got mad she used so much shampoo and conditioner and basically made me look really bad in front of my in-laws.

Admittedly, I was upset about the shampoo and conditioner and the fact that she left a huge mess on the counter. But I was very calm and just explained money is tight as we just bought our house, and I didn't want her to use months of products in one shower. Anyways, let me know what you think.

Dude, 16-year-olds, they—oh, my God. My husband's sister is 16, and the products? I'm like, you have all of Sephora in your bathroom. A, how? How?

your mom afford that. Cause I know you're not buying it. Right. And half of this shit is like, you don't need this. It's like retinol, like age wrinkle. Trenton Owen or whatever the other fancy one is. Yeah. Drunk elephant vibes. I'm like, yo, can you just, but that's what they do.

They go through all your, so when they were younger, they would go into my bathroom and like go through all of my stuff. And I was like,

Yeah.

You should pay for a doctor's visit.

Yeah. Also, I don't understand. How could she have warned her when she didn't know she was doing it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think she's the asshole in my opinion. Not at all. Not at all.

No, I think she's honestly on the nice list because if my $50 shampoo was half gone after it was brand new. I'd be pissed.

We would have problems. Also, going through someone's medical stuff. Prescription bag, pharmacy bag. Why would you put that on your face?

How do you know what it's for?

Like was it a chemical peel? It was probably like a really high dose retinol or like, I feel like tretinoin has been like such a buzz. Like it's better than retinol. And that stuff, like I did one, one tiny thing to see if I could get my skin used to it. I peeled. I peeled. And I did it like I was doing tiny little dollops. This is someone that probably slathered it on.

No, and if she wants a tree, she's going to get a tree. Also, why are these kids tearing down a tree?

She was slugging with the Trenton Owen or whatever this was. I can't handle that.

I have such sensitive skin. I can't even use retinol. You are so sensitive. I am so sensitive. I'm such a sensitive little baby. But I literally can't use retinol. I'm not allowed to because it gets all red and rashy. Yeah. Here's the thing though. I will say this girl is 16. She's probably smart. She probably went to her parents and was like, she yelled at me. She kicked me out.

She made a new narrative. She put, I put on all this stuff and I'm totally breaking out and all this stuff. Like,

they probably that's why the dad was like i'm stepping in right if the dad's like hey then he's operating out of a false narrative correct because like if he found out it's like oh you just raided just raided my sister's stuff yeah exactly it's so wild there are so many comments from op like so so many comments there's we if we try to read every comment too much like it's actually i'm concerned that there's so many comments for this post to be honest like

What, are they cats?

At least 100 comments. Whoa. Okay. You ready? You ready for the scroll? Starts here.

What is happening?

What? How many comments do you estimate that was?

Okay. I was thinking... 92. 92. I'm not going to find out. So if someone else wants to take that upon themselves, please do. The link will be in the description.

I mean, to be called like you're so incapable of parenting that you can't even get a Christmas tree up like.

can't promise that shit i want you can't promise that but we do find out that it was redken like some special redken salon shampoo oh that is very expensive that's like salon yeah yeah and i'm like that's fine if you want to use half a bottle every time if you're using like tresemme or you know something from target that's

$4.79. You still need half a bottle.

But it's also, that's not even good for your hair. It strips your hair. Exactly. That's not even good for your hair. Nope. I'm not seeing any update, but I think based on how many comments, let's see what the top vote is because I'm like.

Are people like not aligning with this? Like why so many comments?

Top comment. Not the asshole. Okay.

It's dangerous to use someone's prescription medication. Why was she messing around with your medicine, period? Keep repeating this to your in-laws. I hope she's not messing with other people's medicine, too.

OP responds, which of course they did. Yep, I'm assuming she's heard of the particular product I have, and I'm hoping that is why she used it. She was super into the skincare craze a while ago. I am upset but not surprised that she looked through all of our stuff.

That's bad. That's a low blow. But also, I want to know, have they never had a Christmas tree up? Or they did once and it was torn down?

She would love to find something she could try to embarrass me with, but she should have learned over the years that it hasn't worked on me. LOL.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

There's some beef there.

OP does say in the comments that it was Trenton Owen.

Okay.

Which it's blown up on TikTok.

On that little baby skin? Mm-mm. That's the thing. 16-year-old skin? Nope.

Like, that is like virgin skin. Like, I hate you. I hate you. I don't like that word. But that's what it is. Like, you're so fresh. You have no wrinkles. You just are not weathered.

Don't mess with that shit. No, she's on the naughty list for sure. OP, not the asshole.

Nice list. Nice list for sure. Now, what if she did some crazy shit and just left all that stuff out for her to grab? On purpose? I was like, well, that comment of her being like, didn't get me this time. I'm like, huh? Wait a second.

You think? 100%.

Well, if she's showing up uninvited. Trying to embarrass? Oh, yeah. Oh, I see. She's probably stealing some of her jewelry, too. They love to take hoops. They love to take hoops.

What? I wonder.

Yeah, you got good hoops too. I'm like, you got to get my hoops back. Hoops like these? Yeah. I'm like, you got to get. It hasn't been for years, but I'm like, you got to get my hoops back. He's like, okay.

No. What? Wow. They were... They didn't take them. And I was like, well, who else came in here?

Is this Christmas vacation? Christmas trees used to start a lot of house fires. I think that stat's gone down.

Dude, that shit pisses me off. I hate when people are like, oh, I don't have it. And then you'll literally see in like an Instagram story them wearing it. And you're like, this, this is what I was talking about. This shirt right here. This one. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's yours? I had no idea.

I thought it was... Someone else's.

What do you mean?

Insane. God, if you had sisters. I'm so glad I don't. They steal everything. I have one. And I also did too.

Yeah, I have one, but we didn't grow up together, so I didn't have to worry about my stuff. That's nice. That's big. Thank God. Love you, Paige, but you definitely would have been a klepto.

It's true.

Klepto. Thinking about 16 too, I'm like, I had so much like expensive shit that I just, I was a shopliftaholic.

Oh.

It's a thing. It's a thing when you're 16. I think that's like, it's a canon event for 16 year old girls. They want to like steal hair products. Sephora.

I had a friend who stole hair products, but she would take big hair products and shove them down her pants. And I was like, I can't believe you're doing that. And she totally got caught.

Yeah, I did eventually get caught. There's cameras. You'll always get caught. Do not shoplift, friends.

You'll always get caught.

You'll always get caught. Yeah, I had a tough go at Fleet Farm, and they got me. Fleet Farm. Yeah, I was all the way out, though, at my car, and they dragged me back in, which is illegal, but I did not know my rights.

So before we started today, we were talking about the lights. So I got... If you're listening, you got to go watch on YouTube just to see the lights. But these bulbs get hot. And I'm like, people put these on their houses. And Tommy was like, yeah, well, it's concrete. And I go, but what if it hit a leaf?

Yeah. Well, some people want to be heroes. That's true.