Tommy Metz III

Alert. Eating steak, spinning into spittoons. I've done all of it. But as a red-blooded male, I've also felt lust in my heart as much as anyone. We just had a whole big talk about it. I know.

Alert. Eating steak, spinning into spittoons. I've done all of it. But as a red-blooded male, I've also felt lust in my heart as much as anyone. We just had a whole big talk about it. I know.

I know. Sinner. Um, and by lust, I mean the bout chick about bout kind, uh, but for dating, especially post-college, I've always made sure not to lead anyone on or pretend I felt more than I felt for lustful reasons, even though as an adult, you're allowed to do that. Hookups are fine as long as both parties are on the same page.

I know. Sinner. Um, and by lust, I mean the bout chick about bout kind, uh, but for dating, especially post-college, I've always made sure not to lead anyone on or pretend I felt more than I felt for lustful reasons, even though as an adult, you're allowed to do that. Hookups are fine as long as both parties are on the same page.

There is another party involved in this harrowing tale, and I want to afford them full and absolute confidentiality. They are not a listener, but just in case, I'm not going to tell you, Pete, or the listeners where we met or almost anything identifiable about this person. I'm not even going to gender them. I'm going full deep throat here, no pun intended. No lust episode pun intended.

There is another party involved in this harrowing tale, and I want to afford them full and absolute confidentiality. They are not a listener, but just in case, I'm not going to tell you, Pete, or the listeners where we met or almost anything identifiable about this person. I'm not even going to gender them. I'm going full deep throat here, no pun intended. No lust episode pun intended.

But also, I've noticed that that was a pun. Okay. Okay. So that being said, you're going to learn almost nothing about this other person, but let me introduce them. Let's call them V. V was younger than me, but only by about five years. So younger, but not crazy times. And V was, if I may say, very easy on the eyes. That's why I named this person V. Very, very attractive.

But also, I've noticed that that was a pun. Okay. Okay. So that being said, you're going to learn almost nothing about this other person, but let me introduce them. Let's call them V. V was younger than me, but only by about five years. So younger, but not crazy times. And V was, if I may say, very easy on the eyes. That's why I named this person V. Very, very attractive.

Unfortunately, if we're being honest, maybe not the brightest. Maybe not the best read, worldly. They were sweet and seemed to dig me, but we weren't really on the same page. But, as I almost never do, I overlooked it because I found them so physically attractive. I never told them that I loved them or anything like that, but if I'm being honest...

Unfortunately, if we're being honest, maybe not the brightest. Maybe not the best read, worldly. They were sweet and seemed to dig me, but we weren't really on the same page. But, as I almost never do, I overlooked it because I found them so physically attractive. I never told them that I loved them or anything like that, but if I'm being honest...

and this is I'm being vulnerable and honest, I was just dating them for their looks. I usually never, ever do that. But I said, in this instance, what the heck? We're both consenting adults. I've been accused of over-white knighting in my past. How about I live a little? And it's not like we had done anything physical yet, really.

and this is I'm being vulnerable and honest, I was just dating them for their looks. I usually never, ever do that. But I said, in this instance, what the heck? We're both consenting adults. I've been accused of over-white knighting in my past. How about I live a little? And it's not like we had done anything physical yet, really.

V suggested we get lunch at a Mexican place in the valley with margaritas, then go back to my place, my apartment, to watch a movie. Okay. Do that awooga awooga sound that you know.

V suggested we get lunch at a Mexican place in the valley with margaritas, then go back to my place, my apartment, to watch a movie. Okay. Do that awooga awooga sound that you know.

Bingo. Exactly. Walk, don't walk. Margaritas plus apartment plus movie. Let's do this. I was nervous and excited. I felt like we were finally going to fool around. Wait, did you define Netflix and chill? Is this where it started? This is where it all. Well, did I tell you that I am Ted Sarantos? Okay. Weird.

Bingo. Exactly. Walk, don't walk. Margaritas plus apartment plus movie. Let's do this. I was nervous and excited. I felt like we were finally going to fool around. Wait, did you define Netflix and chill? Is this where it started? This is where it all. Well, did I tell you that I am Ted Sarantos? Okay. Weird.

I got to the restaurant early, obviously, because I was a little excited and there was no L.A. traffic for once, which seemed like a really good sign. And they got there and the restaurant was able to seat us right away. Another good sign because the place wasn't too full. We have it was actually pretty empty. We have margaritas and food and all as well. Then we head back to my place.

I got to the restaurant early, obviously, because I was a little excited and there was no L.A. traffic for once, which seemed like a really good sign. And they got there and the restaurant was able to seat us right away. Another good sign because the place wasn't too full. We have it was actually pretty empty. We have margaritas and food and all as well. Then we head back to my place.

We're seating on my couch and they ask if they can dance for me. Well, I couldn't remember the last time someone had asked if they could dance for me or with me. Sure. But for me. So I said, totally. They asked if I had any liquor because we'd had some margaritas. I named what I had and they picked red wine.

We're seating on my couch and they ask if they can dance for me. Well, I couldn't remember the last time someone had asked if they could dance for me or with me. Sure. But for me. So I said, totally. They asked if I had any liquor because we'd had some margaritas. I named what I had and they picked red wine.