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And then the fourth one is, and this is kind of two sides of the same coin, but make the questions connect two disparate ideas. They have to create a pause. It's really helpful when it creates a pause so that you're actually exploring in a new space between two neural nodes. Connecting two neural nodes for the first time takes time. What do I mean?

And then the fourth one is, and this is kind of two sides of the same coin, but make the questions connect two disparate ideas. They have to create a pause. It's really helpful when it creates a pause so that you're actually exploring in a new space between two neural nodes. Connecting two neural nodes for the first time takes time. What do I mean?

I mentioned before, how does conflict make us better? Or what about this for your coachings? What does earning money cost you? What does the pursuit of earning money cost you? What is your favorite lie you love telling yourself? And what is the truth you hate telling yourself? It's like positive, negative. It's putting two things together that we don't often ask.

I mentioned before, how does conflict make us better? Or what about this for your coachings? What does earning money cost you? What does the pursuit of earning money cost you? What is your favorite lie you love telling yourself? And what is the truth you hate telling yourself? It's like positive, negative. It's putting two things together that we don't often ask.

And the flip side of that coin is putting yourself or someone else in other people's shoes. So Ilana, what's the hardest thing being your friend? And then check this out. If we're in a conversation, it goes, what do you think is the hardest thing about our relationship? For instance, this is a power play. is that if I say, what is the hardest thing about our relationship? I ask you that.

And the flip side of that coin is putting yourself or someone else in other people's shoes. So Ilana, what's the hardest thing being your friend? And then check this out. If we're in a conversation, it goes, what do you think is the hardest thing about our relationship? For instance, this is a power play. is that if I say, what is the hardest thing about our relationship? I ask you that.

That puts you in a position of power because you're going to say what is factually, right? But by me just adding, do you think or do you feel, this is your opinion. This is subjective. So when you're in a conversation, just adding, do you think, or do you feel to any kind of conversation? That's their perspective. That's their experience. That's their unique point of view.

That puts you in a position of power because you're going to say what is factually, right? But by me just adding, do you think or do you feel, this is your opinion. This is subjective. So when you're in a conversation, just adding, do you think, or do you feel to any kind of conversation? That's their perspective. That's their experience. That's their unique point of view.

And they have the right to that versus saying, Hey, why do we fight so much? Which is obviously not constructive, but what is the biggest challenge in a relationship versus what do you think is the biggest challenge in a relationship? What is stopping me from success? What is stopping me from hitting the sales goal? And you tell me, or versus what do you think is stopping me from stopping? Right?

And they have the right to that versus saying, Hey, why do we fight so much? Which is obviously not constructive, but what is the biggest challenge in a relationship versus what do you think is the biggest challenge in a relationship? What is stopping me from success? What is stopping me from hitting the sales goal? And you tell me, or versus what do you think is stopping me from stopping? Right?

So just that player play helps, but going back to things, putting in each other's shoes is really helpful. And the last one is simply, if you can offer the questions as a gift versus an agenda versus an attack, obviously, or as a chess match, then people are more willing to open up and come. And that means that you're asking the questions really out of curiosity.

So just that player play helps, but going back to things, putting in each other's shoes is really helpful. And the last one is simply, if you can offer the questions as a gift versus an agenda versus an attack, obviously, or as a chess match, then people are more willing to open up and come. And that means that you're asking the questions really out of curiosity.

The agenda thing is that when anyone comes to you or you go to anyone, just think about when people come to you and you feel like they already know the answer. Or someone asks you a question and you feel like it's not a real sincere question. It's really like it's a chess match. You're not really engaging with them. You're playing chess. So you're not thinking about the answer.

The agenda thing is that when anyone comes to you or you go to anyone, just think about when people come to you and you feel like they already know the answer. Or someone asks you a question and you feel like it's not a real sincere question. It's really like it's a chess match. You're not really engaging with them. You're playing chess. So you're not thinking about the answer.

You're thinking about what should the answer I give in lieu of the context out of which that question came. So when you have an intention, it's like an open space where you don't know where you're going to end up, which is a vulnerable act. But that vulnerable act invites other vulnerability out. And sometimes that's what we need to have. Often that's what we need to have.

You're thinking about what should the answer I give in lieu of the context out of which that question came. So when you have an intention, it's like an open space where you don't know where you're going to end up, which is a vulnerable act. But that vulnerable act invites other vulnerability out. And sometimes that's what we need to have. Often that's what we need to have.

Matter of fact, I think we need to have that more. And that's why it's the work that I've been doing.

Matter of fact, I think we need to have that more. And that's why it's the work that I've been doing.

I did two conversations with my dad, five years apart. And actually the first one we did 10 years ago, but my team members forgot to hit the audio record button. It was like an amateur. Wasn't able to post that one, but we do have five years ago and a year ago. So five years apart, the questions are provided, you know, they have to be surprises. So there's rules in the space of the and, right?

I did two conversations with my dad, five years apart. And actually the first one we did 10 years ago, but my team members forgot to hit the audio record button. It was like an amateur. Wasn't able to post that one, but we do have five years ago and a year ago. So five years apart, the questions are provided, you know, they have to be surprises. So there's rules in the space of the and, right?