Topaz Adizes

Yeah, well, working, startup. I know you talk a lot about startups and your own startup and other people and supporting them and coaching them in their own career paths. So when I started The Skin Deep 11 years ago, it was very scary. There was a lot that I didn't know.

Yeah, well, working, startup. I know you talk a lot about startups and your own startup and other people and supporting them and coaching them in their own career paths. So when I started The Skin Deep 11 years ago, it was very scary. There was a lot that I didn't know.

I remember speaking to the lawyer who was very expensive because my investor suggested I get a very good expensive lawyer because when we do exit, we'll want a good lawyer. And I was paying a lot for this gentleman's time. And I remember getting on the phone with him. He said, Topaz, you're asking these questions. Are you going to pay me $500 to answer this question?

I remember speaking to the lawyer who was very expensive because my investor suggested I get a very good expensive lawyer because when we do exit, we'll want a good lawyer. And I was paying a lot for this gentleman's time. And I remember getting on the phone with him. He said, Topaz, you're asking these questions. Are you going to pay me $500 to answer this question?

Or are you going to go Google and learn it yourself? Where do you want to spend your money? Where do you want to spend your time? It's like, wow, great. I remember the day one, I took a selfie of me and my two team members. At that time it was Paige and Heron. And I took a picture, a selfie, and I remember telling myself, Remember this image because you are scared shitless right now.

Or are you going to go Google and learn it yourself? Where do you want to spend your money? Where do you want to spend your time? It's like, wow, great. I remember the day one, I took a selfie of me and my two team members. At that time it was Paige and Heron. And I took a picture, a selfie, and I remember telling myself, Remember this image because you are scared shitless right now.

But we all know you're smiling because you're like the leader of the startup and you're not going to show that you're scared shitless. But I took a selfie, I can show it to you, where I knew I benchmarked that moment and say, this is awesome.

But we all know you're smiling because you're like the leader of the startup and you're not going to show that you're scared shitless. But I took a selfie, I can show it to you, where I knew I benchmarked that moment and say, this is awesome.

I am going to photograph this moment knowing that inside this smile, behind this, whatever face I'm posing, I am shitting myself because I don't know what I'm doing. And not only that, but I've taken on my friends and families and investors' money. And so in that process, I remember early on in like one, two, three years, there would be times you have a small team, five, six, seven people.

I am going to photograph this moment knowing that inside this smile, behind this, whatever face I'm posing, I am shitting myself because I don't know what I'm doing. And not only that, but I've taken on my friends and families and investors' money. And so in that process, I remember early on in like one, two, three years, there would be times you have a small team, five, six, seven people.

And you could feel a tension with somebody on your team. And you don't want to talk to them. You don't want to have to go in and lean into that uncomfortable conversation. And I just learned over time that the longer I didn't have that conversation with them,

And you could feel a tension with somebody on your team. And you don't want to talk to them. You don't want to have to go in and lean into that uncomfortable conversation. And I just learned over time that the longer I didn't have that conversation with them,

the more uncomfortable the relationship would become, the less flexible and capable we would be able to perform together as a team because our relationship was strained. I just saw it as the sinews in your body, like the muscles and the ligaments in your body. If you don't stretch them, they become cartilaged, they become stiff. And then what happens? You don't want to rub it.

the more uncomfortable the relationship would become, the less flexible and capable we would be able to perform together as a team because our relationship was strained. I just saw it as the sinews in your body, like the muscles and the ligaments in your body. If you don't stretch them, they become cartilaged, they become stiff. And then what happens? You don't want to rub it.

You don't want to stretch. Why? Because it hurts. Of course not. But the longer you don't, the more stiff it becomes. so that ultimately you can't move, right? So you're there, figuratively, you have a cramp in your leg, you're in pain, you can't move because you haven't stretched for a month, you haven't dealt with the conflict, so that ultimately you have to deal with it, it's even more painful.

You don't want to stretch. Why? Because it hurts. Of course not. But the longer you don't, the more stiff it becomes. so that ultimately you can't move, right? So you're there, figuratively, you have a cramp in your leg, you're in pain, you can't move because you haven't stretched for a month, you haven't dealt with the conflict, so that ultimately you have to deal with it, it's even more painful.

And I realized, oh my gosh, when that comes up, approach it, have the conversation. Now, of course, many of us don't approach it because we don't have the tools. We don't know. And we could talk about that. The tools are create the space. We could talk about what that means. Construct good questions.

And I realized, oh my gosh, when that comes up, approach it, have the conversation. Now, of course, many of us don't approach it because we don't have the tools. We don't know. And we could talk about that. The tools are create the space. We could talk about what that means. Construct good questions.

But the point is, I learned from hard conversations in the startup years that initially I didn't want to have them. And if I didn't have them, the longer they festered, the more painful they would be later.

But the point is, I learned from hard conversations in the startup years that initially I didn't want to have them. And if I didn't have them, the longer they festered, the more painful they would be later.