Topaz Adizes

Okay, so first, whatever it is, let's create a scenario where you have to go and let somebody off. Let them go. Okay, so stop there for a second. First of all, what's the question you're asking yourself? You wake up, you know you have that 10 o'clock meeting, and you're probably saying, oh shit, I got to do that. Oh my God, I can't wait for that to be over.

Okay, so first, whatever it is, let's create a scenario where you have to go and let somebody off. Let them go. Okay, so stop there for a second. First of all, what's the question you're asking yourself? You wake up, you know you have that 10 o'clock meeting, and you're probably saying, oh shit, I got to do that. Oh my God, I can't wait for that to be over.

That line, I can't wait for it to be over, is actually an answer to a question you're asking yourself. What am I not looking forward to today? That, I can't wait for it to be over. You are asking yourself a question all the time. So stop right there, even before speaking to another person, change the question you're asking yourself.

That line, I can't wait for it to be over, is actually an answer to a question you're asking yourself. What am I not looking forward to today? That, I can't wait for it to be over. You are asking yourself a question all the time. So stop right there, even before speaking to another person, change the question you're asking yourself.

How could I make this conversation the most usable or empowering for them and for me? How could I take this moment to actually develop a stronger relationship with this other person on the other end that I'm letting go today? Everything, ask a different question. If you see yourself in a negative mode, beating yourself up, you're asking a disempowering question.

How could I make this conversation the most usable or empowering for them and for me? How could I take this moment to actually develop a stronger relationship with this other person on the other end that I'm letting go today? Everything, ask a different question. If you see yourself in a negative mode, beating yourself up, you're asking a disempowering question.

Because remember, your mind is a faithful dog. It will chase any stick you throw, and it doesn't care where you throw it. If you throw the stick into the mud, it will chase after the mud. If you throw up on a beautiful vista, it'll run up on the vista and look at the view, wherever you throw the stick. So if you say, what's the shitty stuff I have to do today? Great.

Because remember, your mind is a faithful dog. It will chase any stick you throw, and it doesn't care where you throw it. If you throw the stick into the mud, it will chase after the mud. If you throw up on a beautiful vista, it'll run up on the vista and look at the view, wherever you throw the stick. So if you say, what's the shitty stuff I have to do today? Great.

Faithful dog will chase that stick. I'll tell you all the shitty things you have to do today. No problem. Faithful dog. But if you say, today, in the challenging day that I have, where I have a bunch of things on my list I don't want to do, where is the beautiful moment that will change me forever? What is the five minutes I can cherish the most? Okay.

Faithful dog will chase that stick. I'll tell you all the shitty things you have to do today. No problem. Faithful dog. But if you say, today, in the challenging day that I have, where I have a bunch of things on my list I don't want to do, where is the beautiful moment that will change me forever? What is the five minutes I can cherish the most? Okay.

You just threw the stick in a different direction. And your dog will go find it. Your mind will go find it. So... Train your dog. The dog goes where you throw the stick. So throw the stick in beautiful places. What does that mean? Ask good questions of yourself. So you're going to that meeting, instead of saying, oh shit, how am I going to get through this? No. How can I make the most of this?

You just threw the stick in a different direction. And your dog will go find it. Your mind will go find it. So... Train your dog. The dog goes where you throw the stick. So throw the stick in beautiful places. What does that mean? Ask good questions of yourself. So you're going to that meeting, instead of saying, oh shit, how am I going to get through this? No. How can I make the most of this?

Okay, so now... That's asking yourself, that already changes your perspective on the whole experience because your mind is already coming with solutions, right? Now you go into the space. Number one is before you even ask questions, we have to create the space, right? What do I mean by that? Look, you don't sleep in the kitchen and you don't cook in the bedroom.

Okay, so now... That's asking yourself, that already changes your perspective on the whole experience because your mind is already coming with solutions, right? Now you go into the space. Number one is before you even ask questions, we have to create the space, right? What do I mean by that? Look, you don't sleep in the kitchen and you don't cook in the bedroom.

You do certain things in certain places, right? Do we do that in our meetings at work? Do we let them, hey, this is this kind of meaning? This is this kind of meaning? Do we create the space where we understand, oh, this is the behavior that is conducive to the space we're in, right? We're setting expectations.

You do certain things in certain places, right? Do we do that in our meetings at work? Do we let them, hey, this is this kind of meaning? This is this kind of meaning? Do we create the space where we understand, oh, this is the behavior that is conducive to the space we're in, right? We're setting expectations.

So when you create the space so that people understand what is expected of them or what is allowed of them, or more importantly, you're basically giving them permission to be, then you're basically creating boundaries, right? You're creating a space. And in that space, people can feel safe albeit, let's not be confused with safety and comfort.

So when you create the space so that people understand what is expected of them or what is allowed of them, or more importantly, you're basically giving them permission to be, then you're basically creating boundaries, right? You're creating a space. And in that space, people can feel safe albeit, let's not be confused with safety and comfort.

You're creating a space where people feel safe, but not necessarily comfortable. Let's not confuse comfort and safety. Safety is one thing, but comfort, I mean, the best place to be, frankly, is in a safe place where you are uncomfortable. Because then you're growing. Like if I go bungee jumping, I'm definitely going to be safe.

You're creating a space where people feel safe, but not necessarily comfortable. Let's not confuse comfort and safety. Safety is one thing, but comfort, I mean, the best place to be, frankly, is in a safe place where you are uncomfortable. Because then you're growing. Like if I go bungee jumping, I'm definitely going to be safe.