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Topaz Adizes

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
348 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

Because I'm choosing the right vendor who's got the right bungee cord. And in theory, I'm safe. I'm not going to hit the ground because they know what they're doing. So in theory, I'm safe. But I'm definitely uncomfortable because I'm jumping off a cliff or I'm jumping off the bridge.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

Because I'm choosing the right vendor who's got the right bungee cord. And in theory, I'm safe. I'm not going to hit the ground because they know what they're doing. So in theory, I'm safe. But I'm definitely uncomfortable because I'm jumping off a cliff or I'm jumping off the bridge.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

Right? But I'm going to have an incredible experience. I'm going to feel more fulfilled. I'm going to come out going, wow, that was amazing. Okay. But it's a safe place where I'm uncomfortable. The same thing happens in relationships. The same thing can work. So creating a safe space is important. And what that means is, A, you create the boundaries. You're giving permission for people.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

Right? But I'm going to have an incredible experience. I'm going to feel more fulfilled. I'm going to come out going, wow, that was amazing. Okay. But it's a safe place where I'm uncomfortable. The same thing happens in relationships. The same thing can work. So creating a safe space is important. And what that means is, A, you create the boundaries. You're giving permission for people.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

This is what happens in this space. And also you're outlaying an intention. An intention is different than an agenda. An agenda is where you end up. An intention is where you begin.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

This is what happens in this space. And also you're outlaying an intention. An intention is different than an agenda. An agenda is where you end up. An intention is where you begin.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

not to be confused with like an agenda for a meeting. Well, an agenda for a meeting generally is we're going to talk about this. Then we'll talk about this. Then we'll talk about this. Then we'll talk about that. Then we'll talk about this. And ultimately you're saying, we're talking about these things. You're basically giving them like, these are the guideposts. The items we're going to hit.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

not to be confused with like an agenda for a meeting. Well, an agenda for a meeting generally is we're going to talk about this. Then we'll talk about this. Then we'll talk about this. Then we'll talk about that. Then we'll talk about this. And ultimately you're saying, we're talking about these things. You're basically giving them like, these are the guideposts. The items we're going to hit.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

What I'm saying is when we talk about each of those items, are you saying, team, the agenda is I want you all to agree that this is the right decision. Think about it. You bring your direct reports into a room or you go into a room who is above you or whatever. And do they already know what they're going to do? And you know what they're going to do?

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

What I'm saying is when we talk about each of those items, are you saying, team, the agenda is I want you all to agree that this is the right decision. Think about it. You bring your direct reports into a room or you go into a room who is above you or whatever. And do they already know what they're going to do? And you know what they're going to do?

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

And they're just here so that they feel good about telling you what they're going to do? Or do they really want your opinion? And are we just here because they want us to get to where they want us to be and you feel it so you're not really showing up? Right?

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

And they're just here so that they feel good about telling you what they're going to do? Or do they really want your opinion? And are we just here because they want us to get to where they want us to be and you feel it so you're not really showing up? Right?

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

Or you as the boss, you come in and are you really interested in what everyone else has to say? Or you just want them to buy in and you're just playing the games that they buy in because you're already there.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

Or you as the boss, you come in and are you really interested in what everyone else has to say? Or you just want them to buy in and you're just playing the games that they buy in because you're already there.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

That's an agenda. You know how it's going to end up. The intention is, okay, you show up and go, guys, we need to make a decision. I have a supposition about the decision, but I need everyone here's feed buy-in and understanding and I could be wrong. or I need to know if we're really right, or if we tweak it. My intention is that we'll come up with a solution.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

That's an agenda. You know how it's going to end up. The intention is, okay, you show up and go, guys, we need to make a decision. I have a supposition about the decision, but I need everyone here's feed buy-in and understanding and I could be wrong. or I need to know if we're really right, or if we tweak it. My intention is that we'll come up with a solution.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

Exactly what the solution is, I don't know. Now you come from that space, it's an invitation for people to step in. An agenda is they feel like, this is not an invitation to step in, this is an invitation to play chess. Political chess, emotional chess, whatever it is.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

Exactly what the solution is, I don't know. Now you come from that space, it's an invitation for people to step in. An agenda is they feel like, this is not an invitation to step in, this is an invitation to play chess. Political chess, emotional chess, whatever it is.

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

First, noting that it's a muscle, so that's great, because what you practice at, you get good. That's great, because this is not like a talent thing. It's actually a practice of a muscle. Okay, so then you know you can get good at this. Then two, how do we practice it? Great, well, there's many ways, right?

Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
If You Want to Have Life-Changing Conversations, Ask These Tough Questions | E74 | Topaz Adizes

First, noting that it's a muscle, so that's great, because what you practice at, you get good. That's great, because this is not like a talent thing. It's actually a practice of a muscle. Okay, so then you know you can get good at this. Then two, how do we practice it? Great, well, there's many ways, right?