Trevor Evarts

He's 24.

I am?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

He casually pitched a threesome while on a buffet date, double date.

Jesus Christ. I love Trevor.

100%.

Yeah, well, here's the thing is that he was always bigger than me because I grew late, and so I had to learn how to hurt him emotionally. He would hurt me physically, and I had to find out how I could hurt him.

It's tough. I don't know. I have kind of experience with this. My brother and his wife, they still live in Idaho, near my parents, and they've gone on vacations where my parents will pay. They went to the UK, they went to Mexico, and part of me is like,

like it would have been cool to have been included but also like I don't live in Idaho like it's a lot easier for them to plan things it's a lot harder for me to make time around work and like I totally understand that because I there's like more distance between me and them like I don't I don't expect like oh you should accommodate me and like I get that but it goes both ways because also I'm like oh it would have been cool though you know it would have been nice you know I'm with you on that completely

Yeah, I'm really a martyr.

They're like, you're just a little kid. Yeah, my brother's two and a half years older than me, so, like, we were in high school at the same time. That's brutal. And I'm cooler than him, so it was really tough.

Being a 23-year-old around, like, yeah, two 16-year-olds actually sounds like a nightmare. Yeah, that's awful. I'd rather die.

Yeah.

People think I hate him. I love him. I love him to death.

I, like, genuinely don't even know what to say to that. To, like, refer to someone, like, to the person. Like, this is your brother that I'm talking about, and I'm saying these awful things. And you're like, wait, I don't think I get what you're saying. And you're like, no, I'm saying, like, I'm insulting him very deeply. Like, this is awful.

Yeah. It seems like a case of the family just being like, ugh, that's just mom, you know? That's just mom out of pocket. Cheryl. Oh, there she goes again.

That's awful behavior. Oh, no. This is different. Dude, going on Facebook to rip your son's girlfriend after calling her brother excess baggage because he's blind is crazy levels of delusion.

I have made my bed and I will lie in it. Wow. Right.

Yeah. I feel like now it's been built up. It's really stupid. It's really dumb. Probably is. It is embarrassing, though.

It was just a moment of madness.

W sister, W dad. Why did the boyfriend kind of sucks here? Boyfriend kind of sucks.

Yes.

And I mean, the boyfriend has to know her brother.

Holy crap, bro. To like know the brother, like probably like very intimate, like know him really well and then be like, ah, I mean, you both are kind of at fault here, like. That's insane. Wow.

Such a bummer yeah, I mean even like even with the mom Apologizing it sounded like opie was still ready to be like I don't know if I want to like make peace here like even if she does apologize So like yeah the fact that he was like well, maybe you should just both say sorry It's I think at this point though.

Yeah.

Yeah. Great timing. That's insane. Have you seen that picture? It's like Steph Curry shooting a basketball from the moon towards Earth. That's what this is. Wow.

Yeah. It's so tough. I feel like when I hear situations kind of like these are similar to these, I'd be so worried if I was her that if she does tell someone that the brother-in-law is gonna start doubling down on gasoline, like no, that didn't happen. like she came on to me or like there's this thing like she was flirting with me.

You're just nuking your whole family. You're nuking your relationship with your brother, with your sister-in-law.

That's why I'm telling my confession at the end of this episode. Oh, I can't wait to hear it. It's been eating me alive.

Yeah.

I know this is all on you. You suck. You suck, Shane. No update. I'm not going to sleep tonight. I hate you, Shane.

Yeah. That's kind of like, well, I don't know how close they were with a couple that they're having, I don't know if it's like a casual thing or if they're like really good friends, but maybe it's kind of a cool situation, you know? If you're having foursomes, you know that it's a possibility of it happening, right? The girl's like, dad? Surely. Daddy? Dad?

It's like, now it's like, you're just like, you know, you got a couple kids. It's cool.

I was going to say, I think it's kind of fun to have a good laugh sometimes, you know, when you're intimate. I think it's, like, chill to, like, you know, get a little silly. I'm a silly guy.

I just like, you're having regular foursomes. Are you not like, me personally, I think I'd be using some sort of contraceptive. You'd think you'd have some discussions. Yeah.

My time has come. Oh, my God. Okay, so let me set the stage for you. I grew up in Idaho. In the fourth grade, halfway through my fourth grade year of school, my family moved to Virginia. Okay. It was for my dad's work. We moved out there. So, you know, moving across the country, new school, no friends.

I'm just trying to give, like, you know, set some context for the actions that I'm about to confess to. And I would say that this was at a point in my life where I didn't really understand having, like, you know, there being consequences for my... Or, like... I was kinda just doing stupid stuff and I wasn't thinking about it. I'm a fourth grader.

So I met this new school and for whatever reason, I get pee shy, okay? I don't really like using urinals. I've never liked using urinals as I've grown up. It's something that you gotta do, but I didn't like it, especially as a kid. So I would pee in the stall, but for whatever reason, I decided that I just started peeing everywhere. Okay. I don't know why. I was just peeing all over.

I was just nowhere near, like, I was just... You peed all over the bathroom? No, just, like, inside the stall, but I was just kind of, you know, I was just... You were hitting the walls? I was hitting the walls, I was hitting everything. And I don't know why I did it. It's just something I did, okay? But then, it was really bad, okay? Because a whole...

Assembly got called of all the boys got taken into like the gymnasium and sat down on the bleachers and they're like again They're like like we got pulled out of class Bleachers and they were like we're gonna find the pisser We're like we're gonna find the piss boy And they were like we sat down there like whoever's doing this like like, you know step up or confess to it But like it yeah, that's conducive for a kid.

I pissed adults here I But you know, you're sitting there and I'm like, God, who could do that? And the whole time I was just, yeah. So that's my, I've never told anyone that. It was me. Oh my God!

It was probably two or three. I think after that, I was like, I'm done. It was awful, though, you know, as a child. I won't lie, it sounds freeing.

Thank you. Thank you for defending me here.

It was just like, I don't know, again, I don't know why I did it, but getting like every boy had to go and sit on these bleachers and I was like, dude, this is awful. That is actually terrifying. I was like, surely there's no way for them to know it was me. That's so awesome.

No, the only, actually the reason that I remembered it is because I told Raven, like probably a couple weeks or a week before we like shot that episode. And then I was like, I've never told that to anyone.

clean. So yeah, that's my confession. That's fucking awesome. My confession. I hope everyone isn't disappointed by that. I hope it was fun and funny enough. I'm not disappointed. Sorry I didn't kill anyone. It's okay.

It was bad, too, because then it was like, you know, it was on the toilet paper roll as well, which is brutal. I was going everywhere, so it's like, you know, I'm not directly on the roll.

It's all over, you know, it's not like on the toilet paper, but it's on like the cup like the machine the cover for it Hey, it was bad man. I'm telling you.

the toilet, it was like, it was on the, cause it's covered, it's under the covered thing.

Thank you.

We're happy. Thanks for the 150K likes.

What's wrong with fist bumping? Hey, come on, man. That's why I'm hitting a handshake. You got a secret sex handshake.

Yeah, you're just going in.

Oh, God. It's hilarious.

There's no update on that.

Years later. I posted this on Reddit and then went back.

He's like, give the kid a beer. I brought a six pack.

Yeah, the brat thing, I'm like, damn, dude, okay. Yeah. Whoa. You don't seem like you really want to be going to a children's birthday party. Yeah, don't go, man. Maybe just skip it.

Yeah, get my parents drunk. I'm gonna hang out over here. I understand the sentiment of not wanting a child to feel left out, but if that's the case, it's like, you know, it's not their birthday. Just give them a gift, you know? The parents want to get them a gift as well to open or something just so that they're like, yeah, expecting all of your guests to bring two gifts is insane.

It's like, why are you going to this dude? It's also like, I feel like every birthday I had when I was younger, you get a bunch of gifts and sort of everyone plays with them when you're a kid. It's like you're getting cake and then you're opening up everything. It's like, oh, I got three Nerf guns. Let's run around.

There's no way the kid, the sibling, doesn't have something to play with, something new to do.

Because I'm not.

Boys, tell me. Trevor, you probably could give a great explanation. Yeah, I mean, crashing out is like, it's basically like having a meltdown. It's kind of like, oh man, I'm losing it, I'm crashing out, I'm getting mad, I'm getting sad, whatever. Yeah, I'm losing it.

Correct.

I'm losing it, man.

Yeah, my brother and I got into it. I have some fun stories about him and me. Oh, shit. Yeah. I made him cry real bad once. Is he a younger or older brother? Older.

Okay, we're done.

Our next story. I made a comment to my ex-husband when we signed our divorce, and his girlfriend now accuses me of being the reason he didn't propose to her on Christmas. Okay, let's get into this. Hello and Happy New Year. My ex-husband and I, both in our late 40s, had a real love story for 17 years. He was my world and I loved everything about him.

I thought he loved me too, but about two years ago, for about two months, he changed. The change was so palpable that I knew it in my heart that it was another woman. He stopped kissing me good morning or good night, stopped asking me on dates, and always declined when I did. He didn't doze off with his head in my lap to a movie every evening, always missing the end. Now he sat on the other couch.

He stopped saying he loved me and he stopped texting me during the day. I didn't know what to do other than wait and see. And sure enough, after two months, he told me he was in love and wanted a divorce. I was heartbroken but I couldn't do anything about it. I would never beg someone to love me no matter how much I loved them. He moved out and started the divorce.

His new girlfriend, early 30s, moved in with him not long after. My ex-husband is very successful and our divorce was finalized a couple of weeks ago. I haven't seen my ex-husband much since he moved out. I don't know what got into me. I have kept civil and prideful during the separation. I was surprised that he was with his lawyer because I thought he just signed and didn't need to be there.

I signed and then I looked at him for the first time in two years and just without giving myself the time to stop and keep my dignity, I smiled and said that he now lost the last woman who he would know for sure ever loved and saw him for him and not for his money or assets. He too was smiling at first, probably relieved that I finally was fine enough to look at him again.

He complained to our son that I never looked at him anymore. His smile faltered and turned into a shock. Then he started crying. I was terrified of what I did and just left, almost running. I got a text from his girlfriend this morning with many insults about me, my character, and my looks and age because he was supposed to have proposed on Christmas with all the family present, but he didn't.

He now refuses to talk about it with her or any of her family and she means that it was my fault. I ruined their relationship. I blocked her, but I can't help but wonder if I really did ruin their relationship. I even wonder if I care. All I know is that he looked so old and pathetic. I wonder if I ever really knew him or loved him.

I mean. You know. She got him. Good for her. Yeah. I mean, this is pretty blatant.

Yeah. No, she was Angela Bassett in that moment. In that very moment, she became Angela Bassett.

I also think that the way she phrased it is, because it sounds like he had an absolute midlife crisis and is super insecure, and to hear like, she's like, I did love you for you, but now you've thrown that away and you've screwed your life up irreparably. And I think he clearly recognizes that's the truth. and lost it in that moment, because yeah, that is probably the case.

Yeah, she seems very smart. I mean, yeah, when people cheat, I feel like the signs are typically very clear, she knew this was coming before it even happened. I mean, this is about as bad as it gets as far as how he's going about it. And I just think it hit him how blatantly he did this and how he can't ever take this back and he has to live with this for the rest of his life.

This new relationship is not gonna last. Statistically, they don't. And especially now with the Seat of Doubt in his head, he now knows. I wouldn't be shocked if there were, actually no, he's probably too prideful to ever go back to her and ask or try to make that work.

It's wild after 17 years too, but. I don't know, it makes me question, like I believe their relationship for all those years, like what she's saying, but it's also just like, man, that flip is so wild.

Or like post-success change. It is, but it's also why I think doing work on yourself is important, even if your life is fine in so many ways, because there's those underlying things that you don't address that then, once you hit a part in your life where that kind of gets uncovered. It's almost like when you dig up an old ancient relic or something and then this curse is released.

I think that happens with people sometimes. Where it's like, oh, you're fine for decades and then suddenly, for some reason, something comes out.

Or you were covering it up or it just wasn't being challenged yet or it wasn't coming out.

This was his own battle, right? This was his own thing. He clearly found this new relationship to prove something to himself. Prove his own worth to himself. Yeah, he's probably just insecure.

It probably also was a wake-up call of, oh, I actually am not in love with this new person. This was all just a ruse to make myself feel good

No, but what he can't ever get again, it's true, is that she loved him from before he was successful. Now he's going to be a 50-year-old man with a lot of money and like just his whole life. And never know. He can never get that again because he does have money now.

He's always going to question that. He lost his day one shorty.

That was a huge bummer for us.

Yeah. Comments, you can't ruin something that was already broken. Let's be honest, if he was so sure in their relationship enough to end your marriage, a simple remark from you should have been brushed off. The fact that it hit him so hard means he had doubts to begin with.

Someone else said, can we take a moment to appreciate the pettiness of a man who ended a 17-year marriage complaining about the woman he hurt not wanting to look at him? Someone else said, how could you resist not texting back? I wouldn't get hung up on him proposing. He doesn't take marriage vows seriously anyways. Someone said, you're better than me.

Happy New Year, O.P. Hey, O.P.

It always, it will never stop blowing my mind when people cheat just that they think it's all good. That he's just like, why won't you look at me? It's like, I don't know, man. What did you just do?

You guys are killing it. Good job over there. All right, our next story. This comes from the subreddit Confession. Someone wrote, I stole from a museum as a child, and I don't mean from the gift shop.

When I was a child, around seven or eight, I went on a school trip to a museum that had an ancient Egypt exhibit running. The museum staff allowed the class to look at some old relics, passing them around in a circle. I remember looking at this little greeny slash blue colored figurine of a goddess with a hippo head. I really liked it.

Without a second thought, I put it in my pocket and took it home with me. I remember playing scenarios in my head of how I could give it back without getting caught, but I couldn't see a way out of it. The museum became angrier. The assemblies grew more pressing. Letters went home to all parents. Parents were called in of naughty children who could have possibly done it.

Finally, everyone calmed down. They realized they weren't getting it back. I got away with it. The problem is I'm now 31 and I still have the figurine.

Shut the fuck up! I couldn't throw it away. It's thousands of years old. I couldn't give it back. I would have been in unbelievable trouble. If I gave it back now, it would look strange that it's turned up after all this time in the same town by someone who went to the same school. I've never told anyone about this figurine. No one else has ever seen it.

All right, well, I have been told by our producers that these confessions are wild. So let's buckle up. Our first confession. This is awesome. This comes from True Off My Chest. Someone wrote, I shit my pants during job interview last week.

I have no idea what I'll ever do with it, but that's my confession. Museum thief of an ancient artifact at seven years old.

I have several thoughts. Okay, first, right off the bat, I think it's dumb to be passing around an ancient artifact to a bunch of children. Like, someone could drop it, throw it. Seven years old.

I get it. I get the temptation. Whenever I'm at a museum, I want to touch things too. I think shit should just be kept behind glass because it's going to, over time, be worn down or broken. I would have eaten it. Yeah. And gained its powers. Second thing, more important. This kid's worried about the museum. He's worried about people.

I'm like, you're not worried about any ancient Egyptian curses that you have on you. Like, dude, you might have... all of a raw is pissed at you, okay? Dude, he's Moon Knight now. This is?

Yeah, or he's got powers.

There's a way that he could come out a hero, go to Egypt, take it back to where it belongs.

He starts hearing a voice that's like, return me. And he's like, oh, I need to go to the museum. He's like, no. You need to take me back to my tomb.

Could you imagine being a task rabbit, just like, just take this, don't worry about it. And it's an ancient artifact. I'd be like, no fucking way, man.

I've said it before how I'm like, oh, I'm such a skeptic. Like, I don't necessarily believe hardcore and ghosts. But I'm not fucking with this shit.

Yeah, but it was waiting for thousands of years. It can wait a little longer. Who knows? Who knows when it's going to pop off?

No, no, I'm getting rid of it. Like I said, if I am in his boat, I'm either dropping it off at the museum and just, not even with a letter, just dropping it off, just leaving it somewhere where it's going to be safe and it's going to be found. Or, I'm not kidding, go to Egypt and like... Go, take it.

I shit my pants during job interview last week. Does it say during job interview? During job interview. Not during my job. Not during the job interview. Not during a job interview. During job interview. During job interview. I know this sounds absurd, but exactly what the title reads. I had a job interview last week and I shit my pants during it.

Yeah, that'll work.

Or you could bring it back and you could be like, I've kept this safe for 15 years.

Museums specialize in dead people, so that's kind of their thing. Some comments, how wouldn't they notice that they didn't get it back after passing it around? I feel like they wouldn't let you leave until they found it. OP said, you would think so, wouldn't you? But obviously someone wasn't paying enough attention to what came back. They had contacted the school by the next morning, though.

Someone said, I want this to be a movie where the figure has the spirit of an ancient pharaoh that possesses the one who took it, and they have to share a body. Every now and then, Pharaoh gets control of the body and has to adapt to modern society. That's actually the plot of Yu-Gi-Oh!, Someone said, museum worker here, I believe this story.

Artifacts without provenance, meaning good records of where they are from, are often used as touchable education items. We have a 3,000 year old knife in a volunteer cart. It was found by someone on their land years ago, but they didn't remember where. This means for research purposes, it's not a good item to keep in our collections.

Others are also correct that there are some things, like ancient pottery, are so plentiful that some can be sacrificed to public education without taking away from our collective historical knowledge. If it were me, I'd send it back. Depending on the museum's size, they probably don't have the resources to do a lot of police work and would probably be more relieved than anything.

Someone lastly said, take it to, someone said, take it on Antiques Roadshow. Say you found it at a yard sale. Someone else said, or take it back to Egypt. They probably wouldn't mind a vague backstory. There we go. We have a mini update. Just let everyone know, thanks to your comments, I did the right thing and returned the figurine to the museum. I did it anonymously from a different city.

I hope they receive it. I feel a lot better. Thank you. We are Theresa and Nemo and that's why we switched to Shopify.

I do not know what messed up my stomach, but just before the interview, I felt that burning urge of going to the toilet. I felt something was wrong, but hoped I could sort it out in 10 minutes. Boy, I was wrong. I literally shit my bowels out, but still felt like doing more. I checked my phone and it was time for the interview. No. Wow.

Left my crops.

And I finally can see the sun.

Yeah, he's the grandpa from Courage the Cowardly Dog, we found out. I love that story.

That's awesome. It is always trippy to me how you think artifacts from ancient civilizations are so rare, but I guess there is stuff that is so common.

years from now. I treasure all ceramics.

I think they're all beautiful. So, fuck you. That's why I write all of my diary entries in my coffee mugs so that thousands of years from now.

What if 10,000 years from now there's nothing left of humanity except for Reddit? Wouldn't that suck? Some aliens find us and they're like, wow, some fucking virgins lived here. No wonder they all fucking died.

Yeah, a bunch of assholes lived here. Okay, our next story. This comes from true off my chest and good news, bad news. It was reposted on Am I the Devil? Wow. That's how I like them. Found out that my husband sleeps with his ex-wife from time to time to prevent her from dating. What? Whoa, that's unbelievable. There's so much wrong with one sentence.

They wrote, I just want to lie down in a fetal position and cry. We have been married for two years, two happy years, until I stumbled upon an email from her ex-wife that said that she didn't want to do this anymore because she wanted to find love and meet other men.

He told her that he loved her more than anything, even more than the children, they have three, and that he would give her all the sex she wanted. Then he went on about how it was safer for her not to let in strangers into her home. She said that she was done. He asked her to marry him. She told him that she didn't want him back as a husband. He said he loved her.

Now I know why he refuses to have shared custody with her and would rather pay $4,500 in child support instead so she doesn't have time to date. I am so heartbroken. I feel like trash. Why is he doing this? That's up there for one of the worst people I've ever heard on Reddit.

So, okay.

Well, he's telling her. He's manipulating her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's saying that. He's saying whatever he can to just keep her from dating other men. He is married to a new person. I think it's a fair assumption to say that maybe she was an affair partner that he left his ex-wife for. Who knows? It kind of doesn't matter at this point.

I hope the best scenario now is that she divorces him and his ex-wife. leaves him, stops seeing him, and he's left with nothing.

It takes another level, right? Because there's cheating, and then there's the continuous manipulation and like, this just takes a whole new level of it all, right? Of just complete disrespect and zero disregard.

And full control. This is a controlling monster.

I just hope both of them leave. Yeah. Some comments, this sounds like you were the other woman. The husband left his wife to be with you and now the husband regrets leaving her. Am I right? Someone said, wow, so he married his affair partner, that's OP, and made his ex-wife his new affair partner so he still gets them both? Wow, that's karma to OP.

Now both women need to get some self-esteem and dump him so he gets his karma. Added context, he had the affair with OP while his wife was mourning the loss of their child. So there is an added level of monstrosity. Someone else said, you lose them how you get them, OP. Everyone sucks here except the ex-wife. I hope she finds a loyal partner.

Yeah.

No, he is. People underestimate how much a really, really talented manipulator can put someone down and control them. I don't think that makes you a weak or low self-esteem person if you end up in that situation. But once you're in her position and you fully recognize who he is and what he is, you owe it to yourself to get out of it. And it'll be hard no matter what.

They'll make you feel like you're in the wrong. But it's why, I do think it's why having some staunch morals in life and like lines, like before you're even in a relationship is a good idea of being like okay, if someone cheats on me, that's it. Or if they do this to me, or if they lie to me in this kind of way, that's gotta be a line for me.

The COO told me I am a great fit for the position and I got the final offer. Three times annual salary of what I previously made with great benefits. I did not know if I should cry or laugh at that time. I just left the call after final sayings. I had to throw my chair out and get a new one. It was a shitty interview, but with a great ending.

Because then you find yourself in this situation, you're going, well, he's telling me this, he's telling me this, but you know the reality is that he did this.

Oh, they probably feel like there's no other option. Exactly. That ex-wife feels like this is the best thing that she can do. It's obviously not. We see that from our perspective. The hope is, and I mean, that is the positive of posting on these types of anonymous forums and getting just this massive sentiment of like, what the hell are you doing?

Yeah. So the hope is that's enough of a wake up call. Totally.

You wouldn't want to put the bus through that. Okay.

Our next story, another confession. I threw a adult doll along the roadside. There were media reports the next day. OP is Norwegian, so we adjusted some of the grammar. I bought my adult doll a XXX toy a couple of years ago.

This person threw a life-size adult doll. Wow. Along the roadside. Dude. Why? I bought my adult doll, an XXX toy, a couple of years ago and hid it in the hunting room away from my wife.

Last year I decided to throw away the doll. It felt completely wrong to use it in secret from the wife. I decided to get rid of the doll somewhere out in nature. There wasn't room in a normal bin and it's embarrassing to take it to the landfill. Therefore, I took a spade, shovel, to bury it in the forest.

Drove off, but I suddenly had bad timing and panicked and thus ended up throwing it on the side of the road.

Clutching, yeah. Get up. That's crazy. Tragicomic as it all was, the doll ended up being found by people the next day. Someone who was on their way to work and got a little shock, it made headlines in the local newspaper, some regional and one national newspaper. The doll was never traced back to me. The newspaper, this is Google translated. Shocked motorists, it was quite a sight.

I'll probably tell this one to my grandchildren in the future. Okay, so it was a video call. I was gonna say. It's a video call, which means it's totally fine.

Arms and legs stuck up from the edge of the ditch on Sunday morning. No way.

That's unbelievable. That's terrifying, though. If you see that on the side of the road...

Yeah.

Yeah, that would have been worse as if him on the side of the road digging a ditch with a naked body right there. Yeah. Could have gone a lot worse.

It's a good thing they couldn't trace it back to him. That's unbelievable. This is risky though. I feel like there's enough details. They're like, we found so much of your DNA on this. So much of it.

Yeah.

Comments, imagine if the police caught you while you were digging a hole in the forest to bury what looks like a beheaded corpse, LMAO. The other comment, said screw it and Googled sex doll found on side of road. Going off the number of results, this seems to be the proper way to get rid of one. I thought maybe one or two might pop up. I was wrong, LOL.

That would have been tough. If I'm on a video call and I have to shit my pants, I'm like, maybe I'm going to try to get through this. Because I understand delaying a video call almost reads worse than if you're at the office. Yeah. And it's like, they know you're there. Yeah. You have to go use the restroom. Yeah.

OP says, I now know how nerve wracking it is to throw the doll out of the car and drive away. You feel very guilty. What? Someone said, LMAO, dude, I don't know what I expected when I clicked on the link, but it wasn't that. Why did you leave the socks on it?

Someone's thesis. Be like, oh, is that a Banksy?

He's crazy. Imagine he wakes up the next day and the sex doll's just back in his house.

The Little Mermaid.

I'm in. All right, next story. This comes from trueoffmychest. My mother-in-law cut my hair in my sleep because she thought I cheated on my husband. So I'm still processing this, but I need to get it off my chest. Last night, I woke up and realized someone had butchered my hair. One side is a jagged pixie cut, and the other side hangs awkwardly past my shoulder.

At first, I thought I was losing my mind. Maybe I sleepwalked or something, but no. to be that heavy of a sleeper. Yeah, that's absurd. I confronted my husband, Tim, because he's been acting weird lately, but he denied it. Then he drops this bombshell. My mom, she might have done it.

This is a horror story. Apparently my mother-in-law, let's call her Diane, is convinced I've been cheating on Tim. Why? Because last week she saw me having lunch with a coworker. For the record, the coworker, Kyle, is gay and we were literally talking about work.

But Diane decided I must have been having an affair and instead of, you know, talking to me or Tim, she broke into our house in the middle of the night with scissors and went full Edward Scissorhands on my hair.

This morning I confronted her. At first she played innocent, but when I pressed her, she literally said, well, maybe now you'll think twice before humiliating my son. I was fuming. I told her Kyle isn't even into women, but she just rolled her eyes and said something like, that's what they all say. I didn't even know how to respond to that level of delusion.

Tim is horrified and apologetic, but I'm struggling here. This woman violated my personal space, destroyed my hair, and acted like she was in the right. I wanted to go no contact with her, but Tim is stuck between me and his mom, and I feel like this is going to be a huge blow up in our marriage. Any advice, because I'm honestly at a loss here.

My husband and I will be going to my mother-in-law's tomorrow to talk to her about the situation again. Hopefully everyone will be calmed down by then and I won't have to threaten legal action. Thank you all for the support and suggestions. I will keep them in mind.

Absolutely terrifying that the mom was able to pull this off without waking them both up. Yeah. I'm a little skeptical of the husband because she broke into their house. She goes and cuts her hair, gets out of the house, and the husband's like, yeah, it might have been my mom. You just knew? Yeah. Right off the bat, you're like, yeah, probably was my mom. What? This is so... Like, oh my God.

That's horrifying. I also think, I understand her. That is a no contest.

Because she was having lunch with a coworker, that's why she did this. God knows what she'll continue to do. That is such a violation. That's the starting point, as far as we know. So, I mean, this mom could actually kill someone.

That almost might impress them more if after the interview you go, just so you know, I shit my pants during this, and I maintained composure. So I want you to know.

It's like... No, I would, at that point, I would assume the mom is capable of anything.

I wouldn't be able to be in the same state as that mom.

I would be reporting the mom, if I'm him, I'm reporting the mom, not just for the safety of my wife, but also kind of for the safety of the mom being like, something is wrong. Like, you cannot be out in public right now. Like, I don't know what kind of help you need, but oh my God. Like, that is a delusion that is so extreme.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, there are so many situations where a mother or father-in-law is being awful in a much more normal kind of way, I guess is the best way I can say it. And I understand where it's tough to be put in that bind between your spouse and your parent. This is a situation where I feel like the answer is pretty clear.

And it's like, okay, I'm siding with the person who a crime was committed against, and I need to make them feel safe. Mom, you're a criminal. Yeah, I'm sorry, you've lost. You've lost in this situation. Comments, this is assault, please report her, terrifying.

If we're looking at a merger, if we're looking at some sort of negotiation, I'm going to be able to handle the heat.

Someone said, if your husband doesn't realize that this is straight up crazy behavior and that you need to be protected from this lunatic, he needs to be an ex. Someone else said this time it was your hair, which in itself is a huge deal. Next time it could be an injury. Your husband shouldn't be stuck between his mom and you. This woman is 100% to blame. You did nothing wrong.

If she can't communicate things and takes this type of action, she can't be trusted. I wouldn't be trusting my husband either in this situation. Yeah, I'm kind of worried that he woke up and saw it happen and then like oh my god I'm just like how did he know he knew right off the bat that it was the mom which other means she was saying something before or he woke up and was like I Don't know.

I'm just I have a hard time believing that they both didn't wake up and I believe her Yeah, she if she woke up you she would have been like what the fuck but I'm having a hard time that he didn't either and

Update.

After the conversation we had with Diane this morning, I noticed my husband, Tim, was acting weird. At first, I thought it was just guilt about standing up to his mom, but it felt like more than that. He's been avoiding eye contact and getting defensive when I bring up what happened. No.

Earlier, I couldn't take it anymore, so I sat him down and told him he needed to be 100% honest with me about everything. That's when he dropped the bombshell. Apparently, Diane didn't come up with the haircut idea on her own. Tim admitted that he knew about it ahead of time and even helped her. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.

He said he truly thought I was cheating on him with Kyle, my gay coworker, because Diane had convinced him that there was too much evidence to ignore. When she suggested cutting my hair as some kind of weird punishment, he didn't stop her. In fact, he led her into our house that night while I was sleeping. Tim said he didn't want to confront me directly because he wasn't ready for the truth.

So instead, he let his mother do this insane thing to me, thinking it would force me to come clean. Afterward, when I didn't admit to cheating, he started to realize that he might have been wrong. But by then, he didn't know how to tell me what he'd done. He kept saying, I'm so sorry, I was just confused. But I honestly don't know how to process this. This wasn't just Diane acting like a lunatic.

This was both of them. And my own husband betrayed me in one of the most humiliating ways possible. I packed a bag and am staying with a friend tonight while I figure out what to do. I don't know if I can ever trust Tim again after this. I think that, I think your answer's there. Yeah.

It's not just the haircut, it's the fact that he didn't talk to me, believed the worst about me without any proof, and actively participated in something so cruel and violating. As for Diane, she's officially dead to me. I've already told Tim that I don't want her in my life ever again, regardless of what happens between us. Right now, I'm torn.

Part of me wants to file a police report on both of them for what they did, but I'm scared of how messy it will get. Another part of me just wants to cut ties and move on, but that feels like letting them off too easy. I don't know what my next step is, but I do know this. I deserve better than this. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this.

Your comments and advice have meant the world, and I'm truly grateful for the kindness and understanding. It's helping me find the strength to figure out what comes next. Dude, do not... Let him off. This is unbelievable.

No, because the background would very clearly be a bathroom.

They both did it, though. The husband and the mom worked together to do this. They're both 100% liable.

I didn't think this could get worse. Either way, the end result is getting as far away from these people as possible. He is an absolute dumbass. I mean... What did he think was gonna happen is like oh you're cheating on me So I'm going to have my mom cut your hair in the middle of the night and that will do something I just don't understand What his line of thinking is here?

Can you not form a complete sentence and ask your wife a question? Can you not talk to her like how stupid are you? He's I I mean I kind of I I think I I hope charges get pressed against them so that it makes it clearer for people in the future that he is dangerous and that it will prevent other people from ever being with him. That's my hope. I also fully see what she's saying because

When we're reading a story on the internet, it's easy to be like, oh dude, go to court, fucking take him down. But it is, you are kind of committing potentially your whole life. To legal battles, a lot of money. It sucks that it is so complicated. I understand her just being like, I wanna just get away and just move, get out of here. I totally understand it.

Especially when you already know these are dangerous people. Like truly dangerous people. That's scary because you're like, oh. Because if she was like, oh, I'm worried about doing this because I'm worried they'll murder me. I'd be like, I can't say no, they won't. She had scissors around her head. Yeah, that is the behavior of someone who is capable of murder to me. Final update.

I just wanted to give an update after everything that's happened. After spending the last couple of days trying to process everything, I finally made some concrete decisions. First, I contacted a divorce lawyer. I explained the entire situation, including that my husband admitted to and how his mother violated my trust and personal safety.

The lawyer was very supportive and walked me through the process of filing for divorce. While it feels daunting, I know this is the best decision for me. I can't see a future where I could ever trust my husband again after what he allowed to happen. Second, I decided to press charges against my mother-in-law. I filed a police report for assault and I've documented everything.

Photos of my hair, text messages, and the timeline of events. While I'm still nervous about how messy this could get, I refuse to let her get away with what she did. What she did wasn't just humiliating, it was an act of violence and she needs to be held accountable for it. As for my husband, I made it clear that I'm done. I've moved out and will not be returning.

I blocked his mother entirely and am limiting any communication with him to legal matters only. I'm still scared, hurt, and figuring things out, but I feel a little more empowered now that I've taken these steps. Thank you to everyone who has offered me advice, support, and encouragement. It's helped me more than you know.

This is still far from over, but I'm determined to move forward and build a better future for myself. I'll keep you updated as things progress. Wow. I think that's the best possible outcome right now. Yeah. That's the last update. I hope things work out for her.

Yeah. Man. That's unbelievable. That's like a true horror story.

Terrifying. I can't believe what people are capable of. Because that is just shocking. That's so bad. That's one of the wildest ones we've ever read. Yeah.

I would think it's a demon. Yeah. I'd wake up and be like, oh, a demon is trying to kill me. I need to return that figurine that I stole 30 years ago. Well, I hope for the best for her. If we ever get another update, we'll be sure to share it. Because hopefully, hopefully some positive things happen for her. Our last story. Okay. I bought my sister's wedding dress. Okay. Cool. Awesome.

Zoom calls are devious, man.

All right, sick. Anyways, thanks guys. This comes from True Off My Chest. I bought my sister's wedding dress. My sister got married four years ago. She had her beautiful wedding dress made by a tailor she loved. Some months ago, she told us she'd put it on a secondhand website to sell it because she and her husband could use the money. I knew it obviously had a huge sentimental value.

She was even planning on having it shortened so that she could wear it again for their anniversary. She was selling it reluctantly. I could see tears in her eyes when she told us. What she doesn't know is that I created an account on the website and I bought it anonymously. I had a bonus last month and I couldn't see a better way to spend my money.

I plan on taking it to the tailor who made the dress, ordering the changes she wanted, thankfully were the same size, and I want to gift it back to her for their anniversary in a few months. I love my sister, I hope it makes her happy. Edit, some people are suggesting I don't make any changes to the dress. Thank you for your concern.

However, my sister was in the process of having it shortened with her tailor anyway, but my brother-in-law had to stop working for a few months due to his health and money started getting a bit tight. That's why she had to sell it. She could no longer keep it and absolutely not pay for the changes.

I've arranged with her tailor to resume the project as per my sister's wishes before she had to sell the dress. That's so adorable. It's really sweet. It's nice to have a happy story.

Yeah.

That's an awesome account name. That's a really good account name.

That's the worst thing I've heard. That's the worst thing. Yeah, I hate you.

It's very sweet, that's gonna be epic. It's gonna be an epic anniversary gift.

Comments, you're a good sibling. Someone said, after doom scrolling Reddit, I really needed this, thank you for the beautiful story. Us too. Yeah, we needed it as well. Someone lastly said, I'm going to be honest, something about her selling something so important to help because her husband has health issues makes me tear up.

Not because she has to, which is in itself sad, but because she is so supportive of her partner slash family. There's something about that support slash partnership that really gets me. Hard to explain. It's probably because I also have health issues and my wife has supported me so much too. Anyway, that sacrifice got me right in the feels and then here comes OP with this huge gift.

Wasn't expecting to be so affected today. They sound like a great couple with a great family. Good for you, OP. That's going to be a priceless gift for someone who needs it and deserves it. And then she also got her an Egyptian figurine. I don't know where this came from.

That's awesome. Yeah, it's a roller coaster every time. I had a wild confession the other day. I'm not gonna confess it here.

What the fuck?

All right, what did Trevor do when he was a kid? Guess in the comments below.

If this video gets 100,000 likes, Trevor will have to confess.

And we will be there. I don't know where we'll confess this, but he will confess it somewhere. I will confess it. So make sure to like this video and let us know what are the themes and subreddits you'd like to see on this show. And we will see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Bye.

I don't trust it, though. I mean, if I was in an interview, I'm probably, like, turning off the camera and shutting the laptop. You're right. It's a crazy thing. The risk is too great.

Yeah. Comments here. How did that interview go with the potentially new guy? Sorry. That's clutch. Yeah. Clutch move.

I once drove an hour with food poisoning and I managed to get home. It was awful. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, moving on. Nice. This next one is good. Also from True Off My Chest. My boyfriend doesn't know that I understand everything he says in his native language during sex. Hey, what kind of stuff is he saying? So this is a 22-year-old woman.

So this is a 22-year-old woman. My boyfriend, who's 25, we've been together for three years and he's originally from France and moved to the States when he was 20. His native tongue is French. Back in 2022, I began taking classes to learn French. I've tried keeping it a secret from him so I can surprise him once I'm fully fluent.

However, as I began understanding French more and more, I began realizing that his dirty talk wasn't actually dirty talk.

I'm a sucker for accents, so listening to him just talk always got me off, but I realized he has been secretly complaining about me. To me, the complaints aren't big. He hates how long I take in the shower and the fact I eat all the Nutella before he can get some. He hates that I stomp around like a monkey in the mornings and wake him up.

It takes everything within me not to laugh while he's balls deep in me. Calling me an obnoxious monkey and complaining about my cold feet touching him in the middle of the night. What? No. I love this man so much I can't wait to marry him.

Hello and welcome to Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is confessions. We have some spicy confessions today and I'm joined by two people who have confessions to make. Just kidding.

as dirty talk, so he's saying it in a sexy way. Wow.

My confusion is, Nutella, she had to have heard Nutella. It's not like there's a French word for Nutella. That's a brand. He's like, oh, Nutella. She's like, yo, you just said Nutella.

What is she?

You think it's a red flag?

I think that's fair.

He is saying it to her face.

Directly at her. He's saying it to a lot of things. This is crazy. And they're not bad complaints. They're complaints he could just actually have a conversation with her. Or just accept. Those are things that you don't necessarily have to change.

That is also the question. Is this like his thing?

I think it can read as a little disrespectful. I think that's fair.

I think it's pretty bold of him, borderline stupid, that they've been together for three years and he thinks she hasn't picked up on anything. People pick up on it eventually. By the tone of this story, I wonder if she has talked to him, if it's resolved. She's just telling this funny story now.

We have an edit for context here, so sort of an update, more info. Okay, I'm clearing some things up because for some reason people are starting to send me threats and I can't reply to all the comments.

Yeah, that's to be expected. Threats about what? I know, man. You shouldn't have learned French.

You're a witch and a whore. That's actually probably where it's coming from. It's not just mean shit. He says loving things too. However, that's not as funny as him being pissed off about not getting any Nutella, lol. I don't, one, I don't purposefully wake him up. What he's referring to with me waking him up, stomping around, is I wear heels to work.

Sometimes the clicking of the heels when I'm leaving wakes him up. He's a super light sleeper and I typically don't put my heels on until I'm outside the front door. to avoid this, but sometimes I'm just in a rush. Two, he didn't call it Nutella, but referred to it as something along the lines of bread spread, and it's the only spread we have because neither of us like jams or jellies.

Three, I don't eat all of it all the time. Sometimes I just happen to be the one that finishes off the jar. However, I'm not a gluttonous pig, as some of you have called me, just because I sometimes get the last serving, Jesus Christ.

Something interesting to me is that whenever people post on Reddit, I assume like, oh, you post on Reddit a lot, or you read Reddit a lot if you're posting on Reddit, and people are always taken aback by like insane responses. And I'm like, do you not read Reddit? I'm like, But I think what happens is when people post their own post, that's the first time they're reading all of the comments.

And on Reddit or anywhere, the top comments are usually cool or funny or whatever. But you go down into the pits, you're gonna start to see, it's like Coruscant when you're going way down. It's like you don't wanna go down there. There's always gonna be someone who's gonna be just saying something mean. They're just lurking, they're just saying mean things on every post.

That's actually a really good thought.

I don't know. Okay, that could be it. He starts complaining. It's like he distracts himself. Yeah. Smart. I don't know. Just saying. He's like bread spread, bread spread, bread spread. Pretty unsexy. Comments that were not horrible. This is the Frenchest thing I've ever read. She should wait 20 years from now and tell him she learned French 20 years ago in French.

Then never speak another word of French. Dirty talk is a talent. Not sounding awkward and taking yourself or your partner out of it is hard. My guess is that he's using the language barrier as a crutch. He can put that good venom in his tone because he's actually saying something critical, but he can just say regular shit since he thinks you can't understand him.

Someone else said, LOL, this was funny. I'm sure some people are gonna get their undies in a wad over it and say break up or something, but complaining about your cold feet touching him is hilarious to me. I half expected you to say he's complained about how you say croissant whilst taking you to pound town, LOL.

I love a Reddit joke. I love that people got so upset about this. That's hilarious.

That was my assumption. People talk about like, oh, dirty talk is hard. I'm like, I don't, like, yes, but it makes me wonder, that's just so specific. That sounds like him trying to distract himself. I think it's a good theory. It's a good strat, honestly.

My partner's torturing me psychologically. Yeah, and I'm so stumped on what to do.

Yeah, I was like joking about the psychological torture but then I was like maybe I'm not joking. That's insane.

Can't believe you. The truth comes out. Red flag.

That's true. I think I lean on the side of trying to see the best in people. So I think I'm better at seeing green flags. But definitely, yeah, I've gotten better at seeing red flags.

Diabolical.

It's crazy. It's funny, because I am a very, I really struggle with sleeping. It's very hard for me to fall asleep. And Raven, huge snorer. Like, insanely loud, crazy snorer. And if she's snoring really loud, it's almost, like, funny. It's almost so crazy that I sit up in bed and I'm like, I gotta listen to this for a second, because this is insane, that crazy of snoring.

I wanna get a snack, it's unreal.

Yeah, this partner was like, I think I will become the nightmare. Yeah. Like, that sounds horrible.

He's just standing over, sitting over him in bed while he's sleeping, going, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare!

Especially while you're asleep. In the bedroom where you're at your most vulnerable, you should be able to rest and sleep peacefully and just... His sleep paralysis demon's like, whoa, man, hey...

Update. Best of Reddit updates update?

Way to go, dude.

I'm not mad at him.

Fellow ladies.

Yeah, and it seems like, I mean, she said, like, it confirmed her fear, so it seems like there's, like, other things going on, and maybe this is, like, the straw that broke the camel's back.

I almost like, I don't know obviously, you know, if there's more to the relationship or whatever. but it's almost kind of endearing the idea of a guy who's like just not observant, like not that observant or not really like a jewelry guy. And then he goes and she asks him to buy her earrings and he goes and he's like, I think she'll really like these ones.

These seem like ones she'll really like and they're the ones that she wears every day for two years. Yeah.

Yeah, putting in that little extra effort is like really important for like those smaller things. And it just, it makes you feel nice. Even like, you know, the reverse. Like if my partner does something like that where like I mention a little thing or there's a little thing that I like and she remembers that and surprises me with that. Like that's awesome. That feels so good.

Yeah, I know. It's incredibly low.

Going into the story, I was like, is this gonna be like a heart with her name on it type thing?

Oh, boy.

Dude, what? Do I need to? Oh, yeah, I'll raise the flag.

Just zero empathy. It's like, she's only looking at the tattoo as how it relates to her. Like it's just completely selfish. She's only seeing the tattoo as this is, you know, a past love of his and that threatens me rather than seeing like the emotional meaning that it has to him.

I can go red flags and red pads. I don't understand.

That's a crime.

Yeah. Just a cop showing up at the door with a red flag.

It's so tough because it's obvious that she went through something traumatic and she's very scared of something like that happening again, but it's just not the healthy way to approach it. And it seems like he's being pretty reasonable and understanding and trying to communicate his feelings, but yeah, it's so tough.

I mean, he's completely in the right to be like, no, I don't want to give out my social security number.

If you're not in a place where you can trust someone without them giving you your social security number to do a background check, then you should not be in a relationship and be going to therapy.

Yeah, or just being like, hey, I went through a lot in my last relationship, so it might be a little bit harder for me to open up and trust. It might take me a little bit longer to trust you. And I think communicating that is healthy, but going in and being like, hey, we're approaching a certain point, so I need your social security number. It's a long step to take.

Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't know how that works, but I feel like you could just look up someone's name and see if they have a criminal record.

Also, if he was a government employee, would he not have been background checked for that?

A guy like me, I go to the store and go into the tampon pad aisle even when my partner doesn't eat them.

Wow, I mean, he did everything. He's like, look, I'm not gonna get my social security out, but I'll literally pay for a background check from a verified organization that does these things. And unfortunately, there was no crime.

Just peruse?

Yeah, I just study. Keep up on the tech. Take a look at them. Yeah, take a look. There is tech all the time. I just want to make sure I know about them.

There's been some upgrades I saw at the supermarket. Oh, the Diva Cup Model 10 looks really sleek. Yeah.

So like, what? I got a fun fact about my social security number, but I'm not gonna say it.

Look, I'll give you a hint. There's a five in there somewhere.

It's five. 69420.

So funny.

I remember the first time someone asked me for my social security number and I was like, wait, I have to have this shit memorized. I know. I was like, wait, I actually have to know this?

Know yourself.

Boo, last story, what if we got 10 more?

Red flag. Okay, sorry Shane, go ahead.

I don't know why, I kind of started watching Grey's Anatomy recently, so I don't know why that just seemed like a serious medical procedure.

And then he goes, no, you're the crazy one. You don't understand healthy relationship dynamics. You thrive on chaos.

Wow, I'm gonna go get one.

It seems like, just like reading the story, it's easy to be like, oh my god, this is so funny and insane, but it definitely is like, it could be very dark, very weird.

That was crazy. That was the second time that Courtney's grabbed my shoe.

The second shoe grab has hit the Reddit couch.

That's how crazy the story was. You know it's a crazy one when Courtney grabs my shoe. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

This man is going to bed.

Thank you for... Wait, can I say something actually really sappy for a second? Sure, man. Can I get sappy on Reddit stories? Whoa, whoa. No, I just... God, now, how many of these have we done together? No, I was thinking about this when I was looking at the call sheet for today and that, you know, I was going to be on Reddit stories with you guys.

And I feel like ever since I was just, like, a little guppy... working as a little associate producer on Mythical Kitchen. Both of you have always just been so nice to me and so encouraging of me. I remember the first time you guys invited me on a stream that was like the earliest version of the show. You were reading Reddit stories on and it was just like, it was so big to me.

I had probably the funniest condom story I'll ever have over this most recent Christmas break. I was home in Idaho and at the gas station getting snacks. So I got like a Twix Diet Coke and I was there with Raven. And I was like, okay, let's like get some condoms. And went up to the register and the person behind the register was like, are you Trevor from Mythical Kitchen?

That was just so nice of you to do and so sweet. So yeah, I just wanna say thank you. You guys have just been always so encouraging and nice to me in this whole journey of me. I don't know, becoming a YouTuber or whatever. Trevor!

You're so nice.

Anyway, all right, back to being funny. I hate you, Shane. By the way, Shane, you suck. I don't know how to tie them, so...

And I was like, I was like, yeah, dog, that's me. I was like, can I just, yeah, I'll take my tropical Skittles and condoms in a bag. Sure, yeah, give me the bag. Oh, my God. Yeah, pretty brutal.

Oh, boy.

Bada bing, bada boom.

Yeah.

Whenever I want.

Okay.

Yeah, as someone who quit vaping and had nicotine withdrawal, that is not, that's not an excuse.

To be called upon.

I've been called upon to raise my flag.

Raise your flaw, yayags.

He's 28?

Oh my god, I missed that or I forgot that. That's...

There's more embarrassing things to be asked to buy. Oh, my God, yeah. Like, can you imagine if your significant other asks you, like, buy Smosh merch or something? That would suck. Dude. Be like, no, I can't. That's stupid.

Dude, oh my God.

Yeah. Or just like a higher salary.

This lady is just a culinary crimes chef.

Dude, I have so many thoughts because I 100% respect wanting to have the food be good. And I feel like the sister tried to handle it in such a kind way, being like, hey, I'd love for you to maybe just bring some other things. I'll handle cooking. That's such a gentle way of doing it. But if she insists on bringing food, it's like, I don't know how serious of an issue it is.

Cause who knows whose family, it could be a bigger deal. But if that were me, I'd just make a green bean casserole as well. And then like let people have whichever one they want. And just be like, look.

That's so awesome.

That's so awesome, dude.

Yeah, if you try and let her off gentle and be like, hey, I'm wanting to handle the food, please be happy if you brought something else, and she insists on bringing something, yeah, let her cook and bring something. Let her cook. I know I would just let her cook.

I'm like the opposite of this person. I'm convinced that everything I make is really bad, even though I'm good at cooking. That's kind of like what I do. That's quite literally your profession. Yeah, that's quite literally what I do. And then I mix it and I'm like, ah, this isn't gonna be good. I don't know if I should give it to people.

Yeah, you're interested, you like it.

You're gonna eat it?

Totally. I think it'd be funny if she asked her to make it with her. Be like, hey, I'd love to see how you make this and make it with you, and then like, maybe only by the right ingredients. Maybe like, I don't know. I just think like, I wanna learn how you make it. That's what I would wanna do. I'd wanna see how it's done.

In the original post, it sounded like that's what she was saying. I'm going to handle the food. In that case, if that's what you want to do, still, if she wants to cook something, bring it. But if you're committing to being like, hey, I'm going to cook everything, I'd prefer to handle it all. there might be a little bit more of a defense for that.

Yeah. I want to try it. Because what if... what if it's like groundbreaking? The food? The green bean casserole. What if it's like a generational, like she's a generational talent when it comes to cooking and OP just has, just is.

Do you think the green bean casserole is poison? I think she brings the casserole and everyone loves it. And it's the biggest hit. And OP's jealous. And OP's jealous. And the sister's like... Just, I want it. I want it to be so good. Okay, I bet the opposite.

Damn it.

This is so amazing. One, three weeks out, already testing your menu with oysters and glitter. And like this level of pettiness, but like harmless pettiness. Almost in the other, like kind pettiness. Like being able to like cook for people.

It's so awesome.

Oh yeah.

Well, is this a group chat that the sister made and then left her out of? We don't know. Or is this a family group chat that has existed and everyone has left her out of it?

Not just oysters, canned oysters. I mean, what she is putting together is diabolical, and I love it. Yes. Shrek is going to enjoy this.

It's so harmless. Like, she isn't doing anything mean to anyone. Like, she's just making food that can just be put away. Like, it's not like she's blowing up Thanksgiving. Like, this is so funny.

Thank you. Yeah. You know, he's just, he's defecating down the chimney.

I might be playing devil's advocate too much, but like this is one of those things where I'd love to hear someone else's perspective of the story. Like how they paint the OP, like when they talk about OP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to hear from the dad. Yeah, I want to hear from the dad. I want to hear from everyone. I want it live streamed.

That's gotta suck. Oh my God. The intro of that story just reads so funny. Like, I went to a New Year's party, I was so pumped and everything was so great as I stood in front of the gas stove. Right.

Dude, showing up to a New Year's party late, going to the kitchen to get a drink, and immediately getting lit on fire. That sucks.

Well.

Thanks, Ohio. Only in Ohio.

Only in Ohio. That one's for the kids.

That one's for the Gen Zers out there. Maybe even the Gen Alphas out there. Only in Ohio.

That's because you're not on the internet like I am. I think we exist in separate corners.

No, it's not bullying. I'm jealous of you that you don't know what that means.

Yeah.

It's just like, yeah, it's like a picture of a radioactive wasteland. It's like, only in Ohio. Yeah.

I wasn't trying to be exclusionary. Now I feel like an asshole.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right. Dude, I love the delusion to be, like, at a family dinner being like, hey, guess what my daughter-in-law did? She gave me a fake key so I couldn't break into her house while she's gone. Can you imagine? Like, what? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, no, he's a terrible son. Not terrible, but yeah.

No. That sucks. And it's just like trying to enter your house at will. What is she doing in there? Is she just going to look around and hang out, like what?

Santa Claus.

Yeah. Now, the idea of being like, hold on, we actually need to lock our bedroom door in case my mom breaks into our apartment and just walks into the bedroom. Right. Like, what is she snooping for? What is she looking for? Condoms!

Ooh. No, honey. God. No. I find myself so much on this show having to consciously close my mouth. Because so often I'm just sitting here like... Right. How... How...

Also, like, the fact that he just thought that she would be okay with that. You know, like, oh, you're gonna cut? Just like, yeah, it's okay. Just leave your kids back there. They can deal with it. Like... It's insanely, it's so disrespectful and so gross.

Well, I believe his ass is firmly planted in the chamber, it seems. You know, there's a lot to unpack here, but we don't have to do that right now.

Save so much money if it's not that big of a deal, man. I don't understand how anybody could see this, read this situation, and be like, well, you know, he's got a point. Like, it is. It's just, it's evil. Yeah. It's just like he is, he just obviously does not care about these children and does not care that anyone knows it.

I don't know. Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel bad for the girl in whatever she's gone through or whatever situation, that she would feel guilty in any way through all of this, or she's at fault in any way. She made her mother an insanely nice gift, and it seems like she also really cares about this guy's mom and respects her, and she wasn't being mean at all by taking the gift back.

I want to meet this guy. What the hell? I want to meet this guy.

That took such a turn. There's gotta be like a spirit attached. Like it's whispering to him. The leg is talking to him. There's something going on.

Yeah.

You gotta take that off, it freaks me out.

I don't know, just the fact that she feels guilty or like she might be in the wrong, I'm sorry.

Maybe he got it in a state sale or something.

I like the idea that it showed up at his doorstep one day and it's just like, he's just like, all right. Yeah, upright.

Oh, mine? It's like the Annabelle doll, but it's just a leg. Oh, just the leg.

It's like a trophy for him. Why would you do that? Was it on them when he stole it? I didn't know your brother was a comic book villain. That's so crazy.

I found this leg. Was this like a romantic ploy? Like he stole this woman's leg and then he's gonna show up and be like, like send it, like I found your leg.

Santa, you fucking watched.

Well, this poor woman lost her leg.

He's traveling with the leg. He's not just leaving it at home, like under his bed. He's like, man, I got to take this with me. He's taking it on a walk. And he's taking it with him so often that his family knows that he's like, no, you can't bring the leg this time. You can't bring it. Leave the leg.

Happy holidays. Should we get a Christmas card? Hey, the real gift was being here with the two of you. Aw. Trevor.

And my boot.

He didn't think about it. And like years of just getting crappy presents from your son and then finally you're like, oh my god, here's this thing that is so nice and so thoughtful and then it turns out he just didn't, it wasn't actually for you and he didn't get you anything.

What an awesome opportunity for the son, though, that in the aftermath be like, hey, I'm sorry, I was a dumbass, like, but I saw how much you like this thing and I feel really bad, like, it's gonna be late, but I asked my girlfriend if we could make something similar together for you. Yeah.

But unfortunately... Yeah.

What are we gonna do?

How many Reddit stories do we read where it's like a guy is just acting like a toddler, throwing the biggest tantrum and then being like, let me know when you wanna grow up. Yeah. Like that's absurd.

Yeah.

No! What?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, seriously.

I did it.

Right.

Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

No, no, no.

Bye.