Trevor Noah

And by everyone, I mean the radical woke communists who hate America.

The NFL just chose the Bad Bunny Rabbit or whatever his name, this guy who hates ice, and he doesn't sing in English.

Who wants to watch a man wearing a dress anyway?

Bad Bunny's lyrics contain every sexual term possible in the most explicit and severe sexual terminology possible.

I mean, oh, my God.

Is anyone else as mad and horny as I am?

So yeah, there's no way Americans are going to want to watch a performance by the most popular musician in America.

But good news, there is a halftime alternative.

And it's not just turning that seven-layer dip into a seven-layer poop.

Woo!

Huh?

Man, that is a real who's who of who?

We've got Gabby Barrett, Brantley Gilbert, Garby Billet, Billy Garbit, Breely Grabbers, Bobby Glabert, Gaggy Bobbles, Barnacle Gasperty, Babette Gingletree, Hologram Hulk Hogan, Gregory Bankelbob, Kid Rock, and Kid Rock's father, Adult Rock.

So yeah, it's great.

This is great.

You know all those musicians, unbelievable.

It's great that there's a conservative halftime show, but what we really need is an alternative to the ultra-woke puppy bowl, okay?

Who's a good boy?

Who's a good girl?

Why are they so obsessed with gender?