This Week's News | Jon on Trump Dodging Epstein Fallout & Kosta on MAGA-fied Halftime & D.C. Makeover

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Previously titled “This Week's News | DOJ Protects Trump From Epstein Accountability, and Trump Floats Canceling Midterms” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026

The Daily Show: Ears Edition 46 min 4 speakers 5 chapters transcribed

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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

What is the significance of the DOJ protecting Trump from Epstein accountability?

Unknown 0:00

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Trevor Noah 0:17

Yep, it's Groundhog Day. We call it that. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you. We call it Groundhog Day because this is the day when Donald Trump sees Epstein's shadow. And we get six more weeks of not knowing who any of the co-conspirators are in this multinational sex trafficking case. And also because Punxsutawney Phil is all over the files.

Trevor Noah 0:53

That is... That is... Is that to scale by any chance? That may be the biggest f***ing groundhog. They literally look like, they actually look like they could be friends. Bill Clinton and Punxsutawney Phil. The point I'm trying to make is the Epstein Files thing. We've been through this before.

Unknown 1:16

Donald Trump revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. The MAGA fault line seems to be widening from a fracture. Breaking news, a big break. Republicans breaking with Trump on Epstein.

Andrew 1:29

The dam could potentially be breaking here with MAGA.

Unknown 1:32

The beginning of the end of the Trump presidency. After a million more documents in the Epstein files were discovered last week, will this fracture become a lasting, irreversible break?

Trevor Noah 1:45

I'm going to go with no. guys are adorable the chances of this breaking maga are actually worse than trump just lowering the age of consent to be done with the whole thing which is that i didn't say we were doing it Which is not to say there isn't awful shit in this new Epstein dump. It was a veritable who's who of who you imagine wanted someone to touch their hoo-hoo. Allegedly, Lutnik, Bannon, Musk, Summers, Gates, Clinton, Tisch, Melania, the guy who directed Melania. Prince Andrew and Sir Richard Branson. I don't think any of us will ever masturbate again. That is... And of course, the star of our show, Donald Josephine Trump, whose thousands of mentions render Trump as kind of a necessary backdrop through the entirety of the Epstein files, kind of like New York City in a Woody Allen movie, which coincidentally is apropos because he's also in the files.

Trevor Noah 3:30

And of course, to get ahead of the story, I am also in the files. We all searched our names. Right? You guys didn't search your name? All right, well, I, yeah, no, I know. Whatever. I am in the files. All right, this is actually true. I take you to the scene. It is midnight, August 29th, 2015. Jeffrey Epstein lies wide awake, his mind turning with ideas. He jots a quick note to a producer named Barry Josephson, saying, I suggested to Woody. Y'all know which Woody, right? It's the Epstein files. It ain't Harrelson. All right. Or the cowboy from Toy Story. You know which Woody would turn up. Quote, I suggested to Woody that he do an exclusive new stand up routine for either Apple TV or Amazon. Oh, Jeffrey Epstein always had his finger on the pulse of what America was clamoring for in 2015.

Trevor Noah 4:44

But Barry Josephson, thinking like the out of the box television professional that he was, pitched this idea. This is true. Quote. make a true biographical experience with his stand-up being the capper. Somebody like Jon Stewart could host slash narrate the biographical part. Excuse me? I am offended Somebody like Jon Stewart? Or Jon Stewart? My point is, do I have the offer or is this an audition? Perhaps the more extensive references were reserved for members of the billionaire class who traveled in Epstein's circles, including the billionaire-iest of them all. New emails from billionaire Elon Musk at Epstein coordinating a possible visit to the financier's infamous island.

Unknown 5:53

Elon says, do you have any parties planned? I really want to hit the party scene in St. Barts or elsewhere and let loose.

Trevor Noah 6:03

I'm sorry, I hate to do this. Can we zoom in on the email on that, please? Christmas Day? You're asking if Jeff Epstein's got any parties planned on the island on Christmas Day? I mean, look, Christmas is a tense time. We've all had that feeling, trapped in the house with the in-laws and 14 to 16 of our children over the holidays.