Trevor Noah

The president of the United States is in the Oval Office insulting professional reporters for asking about his administration's mishandling of the highest-profile sex trafficking case in American history.

And instead of answering these questions, he'd rather spend his time on his construction fetish of building his arch, a new Kennedy Center, and a giant ballroom he and his friends can dance in while the rest of the country collapses around them.

Or, in other words... America is back.

God.

That enthusiasm is infectious.

It's been a month since U.S.

forces captured Nicolas Maduro right out of his Venezuelan compound and sent him to Brooklyn to serve out his life as a barista in Bushwick.

And if you're wondering how a military run by these two geniuses were able to pull off that operation, turns out they had a little help.

The discombobulator?

That sounds like the worst ride at Six Flags.

Don't go over there, dude.

Somebody puked on the discombobulator.

Personally, I don't think our most advanced new weapons should have whimsical names.

If I'm shot by a laser that liquefies my organs until they leak out of my eyes, I don't want it to tell my family that I was dinky zoinked to death.

Can anyone follow up with the president about this weapon?

You talked about the weapon, the discombobulator.

Discombobulator.

Well, I'm not allowed to talk about it.

Let me just tell you, you know what it does?

None of their equipment works.