Trevor Noah

Our next health story should be of particular interest to our teen viewers.

Who suffer from crippling glaucoma.

For centuries, marijuana has been used as a self-prescribed remedy for the terminal disease known as being alive.

But last week, the Supreme Court heard arguments as to whether state initiatives permitting the drug to be used medicinally violate federal law.

It's a case that figures to settle once and for all the legality of medical marijuana and thereby affect the lives of no fewer than .0001% of American marijuana smokers.

The federal government maintains, however, that marijuana, or as it's known on the street, funny pot cigarettes, is illegal, period, and has severely criticized prescribing the drug to those freewheeling, long-haired, hippie AIDS and cancer patients just trying to score a free high off Uncle Sam.

Those people are sick.

Seriously, they're sick and they need help.

Robert McGinnis of the Family Research Council has come out strongly against medical marijuana.

I don't deny that, you know, sick people who have been using it for a long time feel better after using this because they get high.

And when you get high, you feel better.

Robert McGinnis.

Speaking out strongly and poorly against miracle marijuana.

Medical marijuana.

Which is a miracle.

Now, the upcoming Supreme Court debate could even be a hotter-button issue than Americans not sleeping enough.

That's why it's the subject of tonight's Even Steven.

You just made me vomit in my own mouth.

What's the weather like up your own ass?

Tonight's topic, should medical marijuana be legalized?