Trish Smart
Appearances
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
Well, it's been a year now. Adam Ray bought me that week of hotels. That's how we get started. It was free, and then I accidentally invited a homeless musician. I adopted him, and he destroyed the hotel room. And I had to call Adam Ray and be like, listen, this guy brought a dog. Like, all this stuff happened. And he thought it was very funny, so that's how that ended.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
Well, he was living across the street, and then I was like, all right, you can take a shower. And then I was like, all right, you can do laundry. And then one day he, like, tried to have sex with me. And as a joke, I was like, what's your STD status? And he said it would be an honor to die with you.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
And then I was like, you have to leave. Like, you have to go, right?
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
I'm afraid to say it, but your mustache kind of looks like my panty liner.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
I don't know if I should say this, but I had a friend pass away a couple days ago. I think I'm feeling pretty strange about it today.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
That's where you do ketamine, and I'm pretty sure he ketflixed and killed. And I don't know if I should be saying that, but I feel like when something is, like, so fresh that you're just like, I want to talk about it, and I don't know how.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
Ketflix is like a popular term where you do ketamine and just watch TV. It basically means you do it by yourself.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
What's up? Somebody outside tried to make fun of me. They were like, is that a black belt in dick sucking? About my necklace? I was like, what do you think happens at Claire's? Like, you can't buy this $8.99 three pack, you gotta go to the back and prove it. I don't know, I started arguing back with him too. I was like, I'd only suck a dick to refuse a UTI. He didn't get it either.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
I am dating again, though. I like... I don't get dating. Like, I don't know how many times it takes for you to tell somebody to stop sticking a finger in your asshole till they stop doing it. But it's not four. Every time I get slapped in the face during sex, I think the exact same thing. I'm like... That was unexpected. I don't know why you thought that that was okay. Good, okay.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
We made full-on eye contact. I didn't know what else to do.
KILL TONY
#714 - LUIS J GOMEZ + LEMAIRE LEE
The highlight of my interview was that I was making paintings of myself acrylicly on the toilet to sell at comedy shows.