Trixie
Appearances
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to get the job done well. Download the free Angie app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
At Emma Blair's, what's your genuine analysis of why young, often queer women are drawn to you two specifically? I have no idea. I have my ideas, but I'd love to hear both of your takes. I have no idea. I don't know either.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
No idea. But I think that we have fans that we have a wide spectrum of fans through age and gender, though. I know that we do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
There's just a vocal minority of them that are just louder. The people who come to the shows do not match, for example, the people who comment on me online.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And those people don't match. It's all different.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I do notice we have fans that age out of us.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Of course, which is really depressing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Because I don't want to be the Wiggles. I'm not Peppa the Pig. We have fans who were in high school up until COVID. And after COVID, I'm like, that girl stopped coming to shows. And then she'll come to a show and she'll have like brown hair and be like, oh, I got married and I have a job now. So yeah, I don't like to stand you guys on Twitter anymore. I deleted my slutty Zamo account. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
She moved on. Yeah. Change. Can we talk about what happened at the airport? Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. We got to pause the questions for a second. This is a, this is an interesting Craig Meyer, hopefully for you guys, definitely for us, maybe boring for them, but yeah. So you set it up. Okay. So we were at Chicago O'Hare airport. Do you like how she's like, I don't know how to start.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And I'm like, I rehearsed this. We were at Chicago O'Hare airport and God, my accent is so back. We're at Chicago O'Hare.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Oh, crap. The lights turned off. Can I get a bagel? Do you watch the kid, that little boy who's like, today we're outside the Woodman's and we're going to watch the lights turn off. And he sits outside the store and waits for the store lights to turn off at closing. And then, so he's turned around and then the lights turn off and he looks at the camera and goes,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Do you like noodles? Yeah. Are you talking about noodles and company? No. Noodles in general. Noodles in general. I do. I love.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
day to end on how old is he 33 he's got to be in third second grade love that loves it pouring out for the turnoff um so somebody came up to us at chicago airport and he's standing in the airport and i'm trying to get a pretzel because i'm big right 195 pounds now biggest i've been in four years it's really hard and thank you thank you for saying nothing And, um, I actually think I'm your size.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Cause I'm, I'm by and large come to Garcon things. I put them on. It's like a child in his dad's clothes. You're buying large by and large. Like what the fuck? Go ahead. Sorry. I'm by and enlarged. Um, This guy comes up with a stack of glossy printouts of me and goes, Trixie, I didn't think I'd catch you. Can you sign these for me? And it isn't a fan, you guys.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
It's not a flight attendant noticing us. It's not you waiting for your gate, take your headphone off, being like, oh my God, love her. It's a person who profits off signatures of us, a reseller.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
With a ream of... A bootlegger. A bootlegger. A bootlegger. With a ream of... Printed off unauthorized headshots of us. Badly printed, by the way. Pixelated, nasty. And not authorized by us or the photographers who took them. And so the first time I'm standing there, I'm signing, I go, how did you get in here? We're at the airport. We're doing a connection.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
A connection. We were doing a one hour connection. St. Louis to Madison. And I said, how did you know we were going to be here?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And he said, well, there's only so many ways for you to get from St. Louis to here. And I figured this is, and I said, I don't believe you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Number one, I feel unsafe. So I go, how did you get in here? He goes, well, I knew you were going to be here because there's only so many ways you could get to Madison. I said, okay. Creepy. And then I said, well, how did you even get in the terminal? He goes, I bought an airport, Mary. He said, I bought an airport ticket, Mary.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, he probably bought a $40 Velo Airlines or Spirit ticket, like, you know, whatever. And then went in through the security and then found us in the terminal. So I signed the whole stack and then I go... have you seen Katya in here yet? He goes, no, where is she? I said, she's not going to want to do this. And I said, I don't think I want to do it again either.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
chinese noodles authentic chinese noodles noodle soup wide noodles round noodles flat noodles long noodles so delicious do you know what six to eight p.m flip my weight make him feel like he's cheating noodles yes yes yes yeah um grip like pliers on the dick kind of noodles right make him leave his wife noodles
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Just so you know, like if you don't try to come find me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
So if you try to find me, I'm flying away from you now, you know, I'm not doing this. So she called me and she gave me the heads up and I was like, okay, I go, there's one of them in the airport. Yeah. So I'm, I'm over by somewhere and he comes, he approaches me and I'm like, what are you going to do with these photos?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Also, he told me yours are way more valuable than mine, which I believe. So anyways, that part, I'm happy you told you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I am. So I was like, you know what? I, there's something about this doesn't feel right. So give me 10 bucks for a signature.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I really, really did. But he PayPal me 80 bucks, but I still didn't feel right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I was like, ugh. So his friend came with some cash and I was like, you know what? I'm not going to do this. Can I interject?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Before that friend came to you, that other guy came to me and I said, you know, I just did this for some other guy and I feel weird about it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And he said, so you're not even going to sign one? I said, no. I said, I don't want to like encourage this. Yes. I don't want to encourage you doing this again. Yeah. I was trying to figure out a way to be direct, clear, and not mean. It was challenging. And then I was on the phone with you in the air pod.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
When he came up to her. So I said, I said, bitch, you leave me. I said, you mute me. And you talk to him while I listen right now. Did you hear? All of it. So he comes up and he goes, can you sign this? And she goes... I thought you were really nice.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You said, I won't. And I'm going to tell you why.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You said these photos of us, these aren't just photos of us. These are taken by professional photographers and this is their art and they're friends.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And their livelihood. And these are our friends and you're just kind of stealing from them. And if we sign it, we're kind of co-signing that you keep printing bootleg shit of theirs to have us endorse. Yeah. Kind of explained it to him. And by the way, I heard in his voice he had the nerve to be disappointed, which, bitch, get a job. You know what I mean? Like, girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
If you have the ingenuity of finding out where we are and coming through the airport, mama, you could be a private investigator. Go shoot another COO. You know what I mean? You could be anywhere. You could be starting a revolution. You could dismantle the patriarchy, bitch. Girl. Fuck. And they're also like, this doesn't matter either, but I was just like, why does it bother me?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
A, because it feels stocky, feels following me. I feel used. I feel used. And it's us endorsing, yes, please steal our friends' photos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please continue to pimp them out at your house. You know what? It was the trading card thing. It was the trading up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I was like, you fucking piece of shit. The art of the deal. Yeah. The art of the deal. So you're using me as a bar. You're like stepping on my back to get to her. Yeah. I was like, no, ma'am. Two months ago, it happened to me. I DJed at High Tops Los Feliz. I finished my DJ set. I walked outside the bar, and they were standing outside the bar with a bunch of printouts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I'm like, so you didn't even pay the cover to come hear my shitty music? Mary, I've done it like 10 times after my show. After the show. One time, a guy was waiting at the door with a pallet of Funko Pops. Mary! So many. So many. I'm like, what is going on here? And I feel bad because obviously you've been out here, but... I have no obligation to you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You're not, if you were a real friend, a real fan, I will get down on my knees and eat your fucking pussy. I will eat pencil shavings out of your dirty gray clip. I don't care. But like, I will take that Sharpie and stick it up my ass. But you're not a fan. You're not a supporter of queer shit. You know, you're not holding space.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I didn't want this. I didn't want this. I don't know how widespread it is, but yeah. So anyway, I just wanted to say that. I've seen a couple of posts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You stole fizzy lifting drinks. Signatures. She has none. She has none. She gave me a kitchener myself too. I said, I know what I look like. I was like, I don't want that. He's like, you're going to gift me my own merch that I don't sell. Bootleg of my own merch. Bootleg of my own merch. I got like, I got a key thing. You're also stealing from Funko.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You're stealing from everybody involved in that. I don't know. I just, it bothered me. And we talked about a little bit on stage and it wasn't really funny, but I thought on this pod, it was worth mentioning when you're stealing from a friend of ours and asking us to sign it. Think about why that would bother us.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
do whatever you like kind of noodles girl the noodles your mother warned you about what about them uh noodles in the sheets and noodles in the streets right at 6 to 8 p.m in my life has become noodle o'clock so you're like you're deep in it sweetie these fucking noodles have been you're on noodle chan you're logged in on noodle chan chan lan yeah i'm on the lan chan like it is
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I feel like, on one hand, it's like, just be grateful that you're... I don't know. I feel like you can do whatever you want. Be grateful someone wants to use you. Yeah. Like, no. Yeah, be grateful that you're hot enough to be... And also, you coming to the airport, like... Girl, you're not traveling. I have no obligation. It's weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And also if I sign this for you, you'll do it again to someone else because you think this is cool. And I said, how did you start doing this? And the guy told me he met a celebrity and that's when he realized he could find anyone. And I said, well, I'd love to meet my dad. Like you could use this time more wisely. Damn. Anyway, I don't want to get heated. Okay. Okay. I hope that's funny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I don't know. No, it's interesting. At least to me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Let's talk about Angie. Anyone who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Whether you're dealing with daily maintenance, emergency fixes, or even a dream renovation, it's so hard to find the right help. Luckily, Angie's been connecting people with skilled pros for 30 years, and they made it easier than ever to get your home projects done well.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Because Angie gives you access to a nationwide network of tradespeople with the right skills, experts in over 50 categories from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. Just bring Angie your project, answer a few questions, and Angie connects you with nearby pros who match your needs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You can easily read reviews, check out photos of past work, and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Which means you could tackle that next home project in just a few taps. So join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to take care for their homes. Download the free Angie app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Okay, if you were part of the Terrifier, okay, at Katz Zamo, if you were part of the Terrifier franchise, would you be killed or would you be the killer?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. He takes my head and he basically wood chips my face.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Oh, so it's kind of different levels. Yeah. And then it's like until he holds like a skull with a wig. And the skull comes out of the wig. Yeah. And he puts the wig on. And he does. I got the strength. Yes. He lives in you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
No. Yes. All right. Delete it. Dyke at deleted. Dyke wants to know. Hi, bald. So say 0%. Say 0% is you just pooped and you're feeling great. And 100% is girl. You are going to shit yourself. At what percentage do you decide to make your way to a toilet? Wow. An SAT question. Girl. Wait, what? This is like... If one train is going 150 miles... You know... I don't understand the question.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
It's at the plaza on La Brea and something else by the Target in Hollywood. Mama, these noodles! Oh, these. By the Best Buy and the Ulta and all that? Not a Best Buy, but no, it's in Hollywood, Hollywood. I think technically it is West Hollywood. There's an Ulta, there's a Target, there's a Starbucks. For people listening from rural Wyoming, this is really important.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You know? But if you go too early, you're going to be sitting there a while too. I mean, I always go like in the morning. It's like clockwork. I had a gay friend who was so constipated that he did poppers on the toilet. To make you poop? Yeah. Shit. Well, if you smoke coffee and smoke cigarettes, you got to unlock. He needs some fiber. Girl. Frosted mini-wheats. Eat the wig. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Um, I feel like, I feel like a bunch of people. What about you? When do you go to the bathroom in the morning? All right. Cause the huge log, no wipe. I feel a bunch of people, I don't like when something like that is said and I look over and Nick is just texting, no response. That's how I know that that person's been blown out. This career has blown out that person's like ability to process fear.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I feel like a bunch of people believe that TV streaming show cancellations over the past year were a clear indication of how the election results would go. Just further proof that our elections are predetermined and rigged. Based on that, who do you think is the sexiest person in the world? This is from at hog jerky.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
jesus christ that is so stupid who is the sexiest person in the world margot robbie can we do can we do can we do i think it's margot robbie or we're talking 20 years ago monica belucci i mean she's still stunning i'm gonna say selma selma hayek selma hayek selma hayek and i guess if it was i hate to gender anybody but i guess on the flip side if it was a male
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I really think Miss Chris Pine gets the girls together. See, that is so funny because I don't.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Now I can't tell who's who. Now I can't imagine who's who. Chris Pine versus Chris Hemsworth. I saw Monet X Change playing a game like, do you know this white person? And I honestly could put that game in still not know because I can't tell you which one of those Chris's is who. I'm thinking of the one that plays the flame, the flamer. Flame on. Flame me, baby. I'm flaming. The Fantastic Four.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
That's Chris Evans. Okay, sure. Okay, that's Chris Evans. Flame me, baby. Chris Hemsworth is Thor. Oh, wait, because his brother's Scott Evans, gay, from Barbie. Oh. See, I need to have the separation of the gayness. Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Well, Chris Evans is from Boston, Boston area. Who's Luke Evans? Great question. Who's Luke Combs? Luke Evans is gay. He's gay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Really makes you think. I really think that Miss Hayek is just, I mean, when I think of her in- From Dusk Till Dawn. Yes. Yes. I think her dogma, everything. She just is gorgeous. And I love how her Spanish accent increases. Honey. The velocity. 20 years ago, no accent. Girl. Mama, she's doubling down. She's great. Okay. I think that probably means that she...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You know exactly in Hollywood where it is. No, I mean, this is like, if you come to LA, skip the Hollywood Walk of Fame, go to Lawn Noodles. They're eating. Mama, you will eat and they will serve. Girl, it is so delicious. Oh my God. Sometimes it's all I got. You know, can I say these local restaurants, when you and I shout them out, they find out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
But you got to just hit them with the hard truth. You got to hit them with it. You got to go whack. What do you do? Honestly, I think most people would recoil in a way that ends the friendship. I bumped into somebody in Milwaukee this weekend. I gave him a hug and I was like, oh, are you dying? The smell was like... You know, but that man was a saint.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
He really jumpstarted my career of not smelling like shit. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever smelled an alcoholic? This is not to be funny. Advanced alcoholism, they have like a base level sour alcohol smell that I feel like is impossible to address because I smelled it and then I'm like, oh. Well, it's like a heavy smoker. But this is from your drinking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
A heavy smoker smells like shit all the time. Right. I mean, it's true. I just had my first cigarette of the day. I know I smell like shit. I think I would do monkey see monkey do. I think around my friend, I'd be like, oh, I just took a shower. I still feel so fresh. Do you mind if I put my deodorant on? I know it's kind of crazy. Can I wash my teeth in your house?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Like I would kind of do a lot of. Can I use your hands to wash my body? Right. You should try this. Right. That's actually really good. I don't know. Gift them soap. No, I would say I would sit him down and be like, you might get offended by this, but I got to tell you something. I'm going to tell you something that somebody told me one day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Well, honestly, you have kind of an in because you've been on the receiving end. Yes. I was hit with some hard truths that at the time was a snapped fibula, a broken femur, a dislocated shoulder. But you get through it. You smell like shit. Onwards and upwards. Yeah. You smell like shit. Here's some soap. Make it happen. I have almost no body here. And so I think that I have an easier time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, that could be true. Not necessarily. I know it is for you, but it's not necessarily for other people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Was there a specific moment of achievement that felt extra special? I would say getting cast on an HBO show. Oh, was that Room 104? Yeah, that was wild. I was like, HBO? You've got to be kidding me. Home box office. Home box office. Now Macs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Six episodes of Doom Prophecy. I got your number, hussy. I need 10. The show is so good, girl. It's so good. The acting is superb. The production design is amazing. The story is incredible. Why are you doing it like that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Six episodes? You fucking cunts. I'll watch it. I'll watch it. It's the kind of thing when I felt really like whatever. It's spectacular. You got a lot. Well, I'm trying to think of like, what was the thing?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Honestly, when the doll, one of my own doll happened with integrity, I said, I remember I was filming tricks motel at the time and I sat in my hotel room and hugged the, I held the prototype and cried. You were filming a TV show that you started. Yeah. But I guess for me, because I love toys, it was like, whoa, a toy of yourself that felt significant.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
If I was in something where I was a character, but it was, it was the doll of me that really gagged me. You know what, though? I'm going to change mine. I'm going to say when RuPaul said I was a star. Honestly. I was like, okay, I'm going to believe that. And I guess when I won Drag Race, but I mean... But at the time, I wasn't like... I'll just be honest.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
At the time, me celebrating that was not encouraged. Right, right, right. I was not allowed to like that I won. You know, everyone was just mad at me. So it was a weird... I was like, wow, you want your... It was like bedazzled. You won Drag Race, but in the most way where you don't get excited, huh? Yeah, but you have cancer now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
My favorite donut place, California Donuts, by my house. They shut down after you talked about it. No, no, no. I went in there one day and she goes... Are you Trixie? And I said, yeah. And she goes, I saw your TikTok. Thank you for shouting us out. That really helps us. And she said, do you want a Simpsons donut? I said, yes, I do. And so she gave me a pink frosted donut with sprinkles.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
The next day, when I won Drag Race, I remember the next day, all the press was like, have you been online? How are you holding up? And I was like, damn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Fuck.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Ooh, damn. Okay. These are really you coded. Yeah. It's for me. This question's for you. Yeah. I would, well, I would fuck art. I would marry the worm and I would kill Sue. Why are you killing Sue? What about the Demi on the back? I love her, but she's good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Respect the balance.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I'm not going to answer that question because I don't want to be with any of those people. So I think I would kill the woman from The Substance though because I don't think she's doing well. Like that worm is... Mama, she's thriving.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I think Sue, Eliza Monster Sue, she really needs help. She needs a supportive community.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Protocol droid. Dick hurts from Holden. I know. If you could be any type of condiment, what would you be and why?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I don't know how to say it. Sriracha? Sriracha.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Love that. And what dish would you most want to be served on? Oh, well, not... Sriracha and beef noda soup. I used to go to a company all the time and my friend would take that sriracha and squirt it right on the mac and cheese and I would just have to be like, you pig. I mean, I'll put it on white rice. I, yeah, I mean, it goes, it has a lot of uses. For sure. It's flavorful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And it doesn't taste like much. It's just heat. You know, it's not like, you know. What condiment would I be? You guys, you know, I famously don't love condiments. Does peanut butter count? Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Nope. Condiments like mayo, mustard, ketchup, hot sauce, soy sauce. Buffalo ranch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I get ketchup and only with fries. I don't like sauces. I like dry, bland food. Me fucking too. And I have like 42 years of that hell. Let me live. That hell. I like baked carrots with cinnamon. Get out of my house.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Thank you for a piece of that bubble. I like big butts and I will not lie. All right. At Dolly Daydream. Favorite fragrances in and out of drag. Oh my God. Easy. So my favorite fragrance in drag is like, it's going to be until I die.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Who'd save the queen by Atkinson's.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Oh, my God. And she's my bestie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Out of drag. I like to wear drag drag out of drag. I like to wear. Refresh or fruity or floral? Woody, sandy, tobacco, something on fire. You would love all the ones I just got at the scent bar. I like that replica by the fireplace. It just smells like wood burning. And then in drag, I just wear Marc Jacobs Perfect all the time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
She's the godmother of your future child.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Otherwise, you guys, I do a lot of scent bird collabs on the YouTube channel. And some of those little ones they've sent me, they have a new strawberry shortcake collab that smells like the plastic 80s strawberry shortcake doll. And I've been wearing that in drag and I just love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
What is your favorite food to snack on when you're feeling a little cutesy, a little precocious, or like a little rascal? She is the queen of snacks. Queen of flips, queen of snacks. Queen of snacks. In your dressing room, you always got them dark pretzels. So these are hard to come by. Oots, UTZ, Special Extra Darks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
She is my bestie. She's my bestie when I have cash. When she has to process the card, she turns on me. She wants the cash, and I get it. It's like the fabric people downtown. You get the cash, you don't pay tax. Girl, the fabric people. They'll pinch your butt in an elevator like an Italian man.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Burn them up. Leave them in the oven. Put them back in there. They're so good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You like normal pretzel rods?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Not really.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I want them dark like that. I like the sourdough nibbler, like those big-ass motherfucker, the Bavarian ones. Do you like peanut butter pretzels? Mm-hmm. Girl, our dressing rooms, they have to patrol me. I get like some health, mostly health snacks because, but Miss Thing, when I'm with the good good, I go in there like a thief in the night.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I told him to get rid of all of it because I'm like, I don't want all this shit. It's too wasteful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
The chocolate chip cookies. It's crazy. She gets chocolate chip cookies in the room.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
It's crazy. It's crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I get the green juice. I get bananas. I love smart pop in the dressing room.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Really?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
In drag, I'm hungry, but I can't eat heavy. No shit. I know. Wet cheddar smart pop is horny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I love those high shoes. I love those high shoes, but they're going to rip my teeth right out of the socket.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Oh, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
let's take a break ask um ask uh cindy to do the qed report for you yes and this is so important no matter what i always you always say i'm right on top of that rose yeah um you know i have i've really turned a corner in my new self Unless you really want to do it, really ask yourself why you have a compulsion that it has to be done.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Well, let's say, I mean, let's be specific. Let's say it's studying for a final, something that's very relatable to the listener.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
how do you and you they're chronic procrastinators right what what kind of advice do you have to for a chronic procrastinator someone who's always written the term paper the day before waits to the last moment stress and all that well i know some people feel like i do my best work under pressure i'm like no you don't no you do your first draft under pressure honey if i were a teacher this is what i would do i'd be like the paper is due on friday i'd be like on monday i'd be like
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Take this. This was your first draft. You flop. Try again. Next week. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
The fabric of the community down there. But these fucking noodles, Mary. So when you get it to go, you got your soup, you got your noodles separate. Then you plop those noodles in the soup. Spicy beef noodle soup. Life changed. Wig flipped.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
That's savage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Nobody does that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Make people turn in entire drafts. Like, here's final. I want the first draft on Friday. No, no. But you don't tell them that. You don't tell them that. But you don't tell them? No. Hell no. Because they're going to give you their first draft as their final product.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Because they're doing it the night before on Adderall. But I never had a teacher that gave it back and said, fix it. Right? Because if you write a book, you don't turn in your first fucking draft.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
But, you know, that's us. Yeah, lately I'm just like, is it that serious? Because lately I've been trying to, you know, what if we miss a week on YouTube? I'm like, what if we do? Girl, what if the CEO of National Healthcare gets shot? You know, it's just, nothing's that serious. But I would just say, I would just say, there's no way around it other than sitting down and dedicating yourself to it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Or this is a good one. Right action leads to right thinking. So you don't feel your way into productivity. You do your way into productivity. Yeah. You know? Or you know what I'll do if I have to work out and I don't feel like it? I'll be like, all right, I'm going to do some work and then I'm going to work out because I don't want to work out. I'll get so much done.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Or you put a butt plug in. Let's take another break. Right away. Okay, so Busy B wants to know, are you and David still together? You know, this is such an opportune time to mention that we have not been together for some time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Interesting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And we talked about it on the YouTube channel this week.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
It happened a very long time ago. And because of a lot of things, the television program and everything, it never felt like the right time to say anything. And then so much time has gone by that now it feels like such old news. And I have to remember, oh, not everybody knows. But it's old news now to all of you and everyone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
But everybody in this room, everybody in my bubble, my family, my friends, it's not old news. I'm shocked. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I feel so shocked. I feel so betrayed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yes. New year, new vibes. And at a certain point, I felt like I had to say something. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Also, it's a weird thing when you want to keep your private life private, but you also need to address the situation.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yes. I mean, breakups are hard enough, but imagine there's... Please respect our privacy at this time as we heal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
yes like breakups are hard enough but imagine there's um everybody you've welcomed everybody into your life to talk about your relationship and view it and root for it and then you feel like you have to tell everyone there's no santa claus it's like brangelina's over right and we're basically like that richer even more sexy
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
sex i want to try it i want to try it oh good because you know i live close now over by like thai town sweetie you could walk there and i haven't been partaking enough because honestly thai town is so robust well this is nowhere near thai town where do we begin i feel like that clip of um kathleen kim when she's walking on the street and it says like lebanese and dyke and stuff and she's like overwhelmed that's me with all these places
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
But I'm still really proud of our motel and everything we've done together. And, you know, I wouldn't say that we're best friends. But now everybody knows.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
His name is David. Shut up! Yeah. Thank you, Busy B, for asking. Okay. Adhertime35 wants to know, what's your best kept beauty secret? I don't think you keep any beauty secrets because you have a beauty company. I think you just got to drink. I mean, this is... Honestly, I love everyone. Mm-hmm. drinking water and exercise is water, water, water, water. And I mean, I just think I love makeup.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I love skincare. There's really no way around sleep, sweating, sleeping and drinking water, sleeping, sleeping is a big one. If you don't, if you get sleep deprived, it's bad. Everything. Yeah. Especially, I mean, when I was younger, I felt like I could live on, Very little sleep and look exactly the same. Yeah, you probably could.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And now like if I'm tired or hungover, I swear to God, I look like the Eliza Sue version of myself. If you could be instantly good at a hobby, what would you choose? Ooh, a unicycle. Skateboarding? Skateboarding is so cunty. That would be amazing. And I would get so much pussy, meaning dick. Yes, you would. Girl, when I did Cyndi Lauper, one of the venues was connected to an ice rink.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And so next door, I was peeking in and watching people ice skate. It's so cunty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Skateboarding would be amazing. Figure skating is fucking fierce. I would be so irritating. Marry a 42-year-old gay skateboarder? Girl. Bring a book. Well, she went out there, she fell once, and now she's in the ICU. What is your most recent impulse purchase? Ooh, this is good. Crazy if true. Yes. There's you go first. Cause I can't think of it yet, but I know there's one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
This isn't super recent, but like six ago, six years ago or six months ago, I bought that Apple vision pro. The $3,500 thing. And I love it. I use it like probably twice a week. I love to lay in bed and watch Tik TOKs or answer emails. Or sometimes this is my favorite when I'm working on remixes and stuff. I have my computer, my lap, and then my goggles. I'll like lay back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
So instead of this with my computer, I'm like relaxed up and out and I have giant screens of all my music shit I'm working on. That's incredible. And it just keeps me from doing this for hours. It's more like, all right, I can get in the position I want to be in and like all muscles loose, like work on my computer. Dick out hard. Balls clamped. Yeah. But it was a little bit of impulse purchase.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I went into the store for a demo and they got me. Well, that's, I just thought of mine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I did.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Oh, they're battery operated.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Nick, Nick.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
They're so cunt, but I think they're like, I'm not going to wear them because I'm too afraid. Where will you be on January 6th, 2025? Girl, that is. Okay. At cookies. Mom asked us, she and I are on a, we're, we're in a meeting in a studio that day. And I said on the group chat, Oh yeah. On the group chat, they were like, they were like, where are you going to be? Are you guys available January 6th?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
And I said, last year I was busy, but this year I'm wide open, which was a bold move for the group chat. I think it was fine. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
i think that's it all right all right i know i want to read this yeah go for it i'm a whore sad face is there any way i could remain faithful to my partner while maintaining a single lifestyle style i want to have my cake and eat it too because because what's the point of having the cake in the first place idk comma okay so i think there's several approaches to this dilemma number one i think you really need to examine the concept of cheating
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
A restaurant called Crispy Pork Gang. Yeah. Well, my favorite Thai place is Love to Eat Thai, L-U-V-2, Eat Thai. And it's in a shitty strip mall with like the only broken down 7-Eleven. And it's like sketchy for real. So delicious. Girl, there's this Indian food place in London. Wait, in Corbin, Kentucky. Oh, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
you know what I mean and then I don't know then go from there because for some people responding Merry Christmas to your ex is cheating right some people porn is cheating yeah and to some people full fucking is cheating isn't cheating as long as everyone knows about it as long as I'm in the room yeah getting cucked so it's I love the cooking me too I love the theater of it they're like this close from the pussy getting fucked and they're like why why and then they have to lick up the cum
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Okay, Kelly Mantle's in the studio. And since you said that, she's probably about to run in here. So you guys, we have Kelly Mantle on the pod next week. And so I just want to say this year, we're having less and less guests this year. We also would like to return to the good old days of, you know, woke liberals and queer media. We're bald sitting talking. We've seen a few posts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
We've seen some posts. But we got to have Kelly. Yeah. So you're going to like it. We're having Kelly in this blue fucking background and you're going to like it. Kelly Mantle's ugly ass and this goddamn blue background.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
You know about her? I'll show you later. Okay. Happy New Year. Happy birthday, Sarah. Yes. Don't forget. Take care of yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Rural Kentucky, Indian food place called, it's obviously set up in what used to be a Denny's. Very clearly, it was like a chain restaurant. But. What's it called? A-M-I-R-I-T. Okay. I'm pretty sure it's Amrit, but I like to go, am I right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
But I was like, all right, I guess when I want my good Indian food, I go to Corbin, Kentucky. It slayed. Mama. It slayed. It was delicious. You cannot judge a restaurant by anything other than sitting down and giving them money and trying the food. Eating the food. Did you eat the food? How's the food? Delicious. When I worked at... Delicious.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Field. I don't need to tell you this, as I'm sure you already know, but dating app fatigue is a real thing these days. Mindless swiping and meaningless, trite DMs have made us feel more disconnected than ever. While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, there's one that's carved out a space for you to find yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
When I worked at the restaurant at Rock Bottom Brewery, there was a sign in the kitchen that said, is it hot? Are you proud to serve it? And my faggot ass was like, here come the hurricane, bitch. Here come the hurricane, bitch. Throw the food on the floor. You unhooked your bra.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yes. One clothespin. I clip both nipples together. Because in restaurants, they say hot food hot, cold food cold. Well, that makes sense. I hate when you're like, oh, it's my side of fruit salad. It's been sitting under a light. Oh, it's my warm item. It's cold. It's my vichyssoise room temp. Get out of here. What's a vichyssoise? It's supposed to be cold. It's a cold French soup.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
That's like gazpacho. Yeah, it's like, well, it happened in Batman. He's like, oh, the soup's cold. It's Vichyssoise. What's the best Batman movie? I think it's Batman Returns. It's really, I don't want to be a faggot, but it's hard to beat that mentally. Yeah. You like the... Batman and Robin. You like the Joel Schumacher ones? With the hard nipples. Yeah. And the codpiece. As I told Lady Freeze.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, it's fierce. With the cock and ball outline in the codpiece.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I don't like the camp ones. I watched Batman, the first Tim Burton one with Jack Nicholson. It's great. It's great. But how does that get... I like a character development. Like I like Harvey Dent turning into like...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so what I don't like is that in Batman Forever, we get Two-Faced. We don't get to see the creation of Two-Faced, you know?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Like, it's so funny. ears well I mean like they push a cat woman out they push Selena Kyle out a window and those cats are like but why was she working in an office if she didn't have a parachute that's on her that is a really good question women and children first yeah and why would she go back to the office after she trying to clock in overtime well
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I think that's kind of a dangerous game of like you want your boss to know that you'll go above and beyond. But suddenly you're the only one in a giant office building doing clerical work. For a guy who's trying to suck all the power out of Gotham City. Right. And stockpile it and store it and hoard it. She really served in that movie. The lighting, everything.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
He's dead now. Yeah, she's so good. She comes like, ugh, acting. On my YouTube channel, I was talking about skiing, and I was talking about I never went skiing until my second boyfriend in college, Matt. He took me skiing with his family. And in the video, I was watching it, and I'm selling makeup, and I'm like, ugh, so I love this color. I'd only even been skiing once.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
My ex-boyfriend, Matt, brought me there. Ugh, he's dead. Love him. And I was watching it, and I was like... I do love him. He is dead. He is dead, but those two things too close together without taking a beat. It's a little rough. That's the bummer. It's a little rough. It seems like I'm coarse and callous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
On Field, you have the breathing room to explore your desires, whatever they may be. Open relationships, cuddling, being a brat, tickling, looking at the Empire State Building. Field is a no-judgment zone. Download Field now on the App Store or Google Play. That's Field, spelled F-E-E-L-D. Anyone who owns a home knows how much work it takes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Pour one out for the beat.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
it's always bittersweet to remember a personal story about someone and then you remember, oh, that person's dead. I hate that. Did he die from skiing? Because skiing is notoriously dangerous. No, he didn't die from skiing, but you're right. Anybody could. Mary, don't go skiing. Don't do all that. Mountains, shut them down. Shut it down. Shut it down.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Natasha Richardson, Sonny Bono, you could be next. I'm going to build some brick walls and put snow on them. I'm just going to teach people lessons. Molly from Molly's Game. God, Gerald from Gerald's Game. You know, give it up for Gerald. Pour one out for Gerald and his wife. I guess we have some Q&As.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yes, yes, we do. Christmas just happened.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Happy New Year. It's the New Year special. Happy New Year. It's, you know, we had a great, by the way, we got to do, our tour manager, Audrey, posted a bunch of backstage clips of us doing Bald and the Beautiful all year. And I didn't realize how many we did. And I was watching it and it's so many different outfits. We did so many cities this year. Exotic Fashion Walk.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Thank you everybody for coming to see us. Yes. Thank you so much for coming to see us and taking a chance. I love to do the live shows. They're fun. My nipples get hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I loved the first one we did this last time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
St. Louis. Oh, it was fabulous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
So fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Loved St. Louis. It was really fun. Should we do some questions? Yeah, these are questions that are submitted on the internet by you fine people. So the first one is, Kaja, do you have any packages coming that are signature required? And yes, I actually do. And I'm not going to be able to sign for them today. Can we as an audience empathize further by asking what's in it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Like what's at stake here? Well, okay. So there are fashion items that are there for a podcast because I've been coming to set dressed like whodunit and I need to up the fashion game.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Why did I buy the wrong size? I've turned a complete corner on any and all fancy label clothing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
If it's an artist I like and it's one of a kind and someone made it, I'm wet. No, no, no. See, I'm not doing labels. I'm about to take Brandon. I'm about to give Brandon all my Goosey, all my Versace. I'm about to have him take it all to Crossroads Exchange and give me that good, good money. Yeah. I'm embarrassed of all of it. I'm not into labels.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I don't want to like, I don't believe like a sweatshirt that says Vetement on it is like better than something else. But, like, for example, Comme des Garcons had, like, some sale shit on clearance on Farfetch for, like, half off. And it's cool looking. Right. It's really, really cool looking. And I bought all the wrong size. Oh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
All the wrong size.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
No, they're huge. I have a large, like, sweater from them that is, it's like a goddamn small. Mama, the girls' stuff is so small. The men's stuff is enormous. It's enormous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
It's crazy. I love, um... Our friends over at Fiorucci, I wear like a XL there. The men's, everything's so little. Italian people, petite. Yeah, they're a little like... Pocket squares. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
All right, let's get to the questions. So Slutty Zamo, at Slutty Zamo wants to know, would you have the substance daughter or an Oppenheimer son?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I mean, I didn't see Oppenheimer. Oh, it was great. Was it? I was a hater. I was a hater because I was like, mama, we know about that. But it was great. I don't know. What is it about?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Luckily, Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for 30 years, and they've made it easier than ever to tackle home projects. Angie's nationwide network has experts in over 50 categories, from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. You can easily read reviews, see photos of past work, and request and compare quotes to find your best price.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
It's great. Sounds awful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
No, it's riveting. It's well acted. It's like, it's tragic. It's amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Christopher Nolan. Yeah, I mean, I guess I want the... Barbenheimer? The substance daughter. Absolutely. Well, I want to... I was like, the substance version of me is like... It's a guy, by the way. I know. And he's not that much younger than you. Like, if you're going to start taking it, why don't you wait? Wait till I'm 60. Yeah. Wait till I'm 60 and then what?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
28-year-old me comes out and smokes cigarettes? And also if it really is you, it seemed like the crazier, more cracky version of you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
What color?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Would it be your hair from when you were younger then? Blonde. It would be blonde, like a dishwater blonde. You had the hair of butters from South Park. I don't know. That little blonde smattering right on top of the head.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
That is the hair that you had.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
I don't know who that is, but yeah, I believe you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Field. Good evening, ladies, ladies, and gents. I don't need to tell you this, as I'm sure you already know, but dating app fatigue is a real thing these days. Mindless swiping and meaningless trite DMs have made us feel more disconnected than ever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, there's one that's carved out a space for you to find yourself. On Field, you have the breathing room to explore your desires, whatever they may be. Open relationships, cuddling, being a brat, tickling, looking at the Empire State Building. Field is a no-judgment zone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Plus, you can even find communities that share your general hobbies and interests like D&D, R&D, CBT, TLC, tennis, or in my case, vintage 1960s European traffic cones. Free from ads and completely independent, Field is a place that draws curious, playful, and open-minded people. the ones that are actually interesting and won't start out DMs with, hey, how you doing? Want to do butt stuff tonight?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
Field members are all about discovery. 62% of field members evolve their sexuality, interests, and desires within their first year on the app. In a space without any expectation, you can feel free to find true expressions of yourself. For someone who likes very specific things and dislikes other very specific things, field is perfect.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya
The worst part about dating apps is lack of honesty and transparency. For an app to actually encourage that and promote it, I love it. No more getting into someone's apartment and finding out they have a furry outfit made of alpaca fur, which I'm deathly allergic to. Download Field now on the App Store or Google Play. That's Field spelled F-E-E-L-D.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I know. Let's get the Kourtney act in the Drag Race behind the desk. Sweetie, we were talking about that the other day about Miss Down Under. And let me just tell you something about Down Under. What? What I have observed in the Down Under Girls.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Mama, that's what I'm about to- We were talking to Gay Times and we were like- Like, ooh, woof, woof, like, kennel club. Yeah. No, but they- Here's the thing. The fact that Vanity and Kourtney don't co-host that show is such a crime against nature because they are so head and shoulders above-
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
call me shemale my name is i need a big cock up my ass or else i'm gonna have a like whatever why don't you ever get fucked in the butt me yeah why don't you just put your legs up in the air and let those men have that old ass i couldn't do it i couldn't do it i'm not comfortable did you like to bottom when you were younger no i told you i had the first time i had inner inner um you know the first time they ever went downtown julie brown was um 30 years of age
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Let's take a break. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Do you need a website or domain? Are you starting a business that caters to businesses that start a business? What if your business is going out of business because you're starting a new business? I think I can safely speak for every person running a business today that most of today's business happens to be on the internet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And that is where Squarespace comes in. When I began my career selling business-to-business advertisements in the yellow pages, I could have only dreamt of the amazing business opportunities that the internet would bring. Back then, starting a business meant handing out business cards and placing business brochures under windshield wipers around town. Now?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Launch your business with an amazing website and you'll be doing business across the globe in literally hours. I guess what I'm saying is this. If you want to start a business, you need to go into business with Squarespace behind you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
They have a new tool called Design Intelligence, which combines two decades of industry leading design expertise with cutting edge technology that will unlock your strongest creative potential. Design intelligence empowers anyone, even technological Luddites like me, to build beautiful, more personalized websites tailored to one's unique needs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Any business can craft a bespoke brand identity to use across one's entire online presence. But that's not all. Say you want to start an offshoot of your first business that focuses solely on e-commerce. You can use Squarespace Payments, which is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. You can get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Plus, you'll give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, ACH Direct Debit, Apple Pay, and Afterpay. And after you've launched, let's say you need help with marketing. Well, Squarespace has so many features to help drive sales and engage your audience with creative email campaigns that you'll be the biggest business in the business in no time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
So if you need a new website for yourself or for your business, go ahead and check out squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com slash bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Alex Kansani? Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I knew her face, but I didn't know her name. Pour several ones out for Miss Kansani because she is giving you all... She likes us. She does. She loves you in particular. The way that I watch this woman's videos, she is just effortlessly fucking hysterical. So quotable. Constantly raising the bar for all of us. Constantly. And doing it flawlessly. You go, girl. You go, girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
But the thing I want to say about... Down Under, to me, it's just a perfect opportunity to have those two, the dynamic duo of Kourtney and Vanity helm that show. Because I think they could make it something really... Is Michelle host now? Yeah. Yeah, Ru dropped out and Michelle is kind of the one now. Which is fine, but I mean... I think I did know that. I forgot.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I don't... She could stay with the three of them. The three of them could really kill it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Let's get it together. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Haunted mansion. It would be very like, I would like a child, like, you know, or like a blue blood and to like, when you come over to visit, she hits you with like a, with a ruler with spikes on it. Yeah. Just like mean. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I, I just so feel it's such a shame. I think.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. And, you know, frankly, those contestants are nothing of the sort.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Me and Andrew watched Global All-Stars. Oh, that's right. And I'm telling you, mama, that show was a W-I-L-D.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Justin? She's probably trying to cuff up. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Is that like gear? Yeah, she's probably looking for puppy play. Is the gear community sick of us saying gear? I just feel like gear is a funky word. I think they are. I think they're a little miffed about us being so flippant and dismissive and also kind of maybe like incorrect about the usage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
No, she's like, oh, God. You got to watch. Highly recommend people watch her on Amelia de something. Chicken shop date. Highly recommend you watch her. I don't think she's done hot ones, but she is just every interview. She's on the press tour. She's on the circuit. Mama, she's doing the circuit. She invented the circuit. She's on Cirque du Soleil. She is just a riot. I love her so much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I guess what I mean is I probably would never be... I'm talking about Richard Gere for the record. Like I'm not talking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
What do you need? Duct tape, olive oil, saran wrap?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
A nice crisp sheet in like a lilac or like a salmon. And it's red towel for the blood. Hello. Thank you. The blood. Or the marinara, depending on what your kink is. Yeah. But no, but I'm telling you, listen. Larissa, oh my God, Larissa, Larissa Edwards. Larissa Edwards, Melissa McEdwards.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Larissa Jedwards, when she came down that, nine times out of 10, when she came down that runway, sweetie, it was just, it was fireworks on the 4th of July. Oh my God. It was high drama. It was out of control camp. Me and Andrew screamed every time. Yeah. Screamed every time. It was just so over the top.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It's not, we didn't necessarily love all the outfits, but you could not fault her for being boring. I'll tell you that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
When she would enter, it would sort of be like, oh, Alyssa's here. Mama, she's the center of attention, not the wallflower. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
She did make all stars too. Very, very fun. Oh my God. You did all stars with her. Yeah. I mean, she was always like, that bitch was bright eyed and bushy tailed every motherfucking day. It was wild. Every morning she was like, It was like fierce. I bet you she's one of those people who's like five hours of sleep, rested. Honey, 100%.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And she like, she pours her monster and her five hour energy in her sugar-free Red Bull and a can of gasoline. She just gets it going. She was always on point and very funny. Did I tell you they repossessed my car? You had to return it, you mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Repossessed. How do you feel about that? I'm so sorry for your loss.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Beatlemeyer? That's so mean. Mary, let me tell you something about Miss Beatle and your lifestyle. What do we think about a convertible Mini Cooper? A cabriolet? Sweetie, let me tell you, that's great when you're tooling around P-Town and Martha's Vineyard unencumbered by the weight and area of drag. That's it. That's the second car.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
No, no, I'm serious. I'm serious. That's the second car. You need, like, well... I can't fit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
But that doesn't mean you need to drive, like, a Mini Cooper or a Mazda Miata.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Sweetie, a midsize SUV like a Honda CRV, a Subaru Forester, like those that are like even Fina's new car is totally spacious, reasonable to lease, and it's lovely to look at, and it's great driving. I've seen some commercials.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Maybe it's a bird scooter. Maybe it's a Segway. You know? Maybe it's a... Well, now that I'm in... It's the sidecar on a motorcycle driven by someone else. Or just the sidecar. Thank you. I should Marty McFly it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
What is Marty McFly?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
But rollerblades. Rollerblades. Yeah. Yeah. Rollerblade stilts. So you can hold on to the top of the thing. Love Back to the Future. I've never seen it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Um, very last thing question. The last thing we've been here 20 minutes. Oh, Oh, first thing. Anyways. Do you have somewhere to be? We do. Oh, we do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
But I want to ask you, so I'm now in the very, so you know the mold situation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hardship, hardship, hardship, hardship, hardship, hardship. No, we're past that. So now we're getting our toes dipped in the very lovely and exciting waters of design choices.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Oh, the Randall. So what are you going to do? I think blush and bashful. No, I think I'm going to do black and white and green in my bathroom.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, absolutely. Let me illustrate more.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You know, so are you aware of what a dewlap is? D-E-W-L-A-P. I think it's a double chin. It's like a gobble kind of sort of idea. But anyways, the point is... A dewlap? A dewlap. I've never heard of it. I'm performing at the dewlap stage at Coachella. Yeah, dewlap tires on my truck.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I see, I see, I see, I see. You need more details. Like the dentist. Yeah, what else? So it's basically an... You stop yelling at me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
She said, okay...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
That's your theme. Yeah. So, okay. Strawberry. Take a look. Take a look. Red and wild. Shit, bitch. Should I shave off my eyebrows? This is a little gaudy. Wait, hold on. This is a little gaudy. You know this is a podcast, right? I know. This is just between us. So that's the kind of like, do you know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It's very green, but also- That's going to be beautiful. Hold on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Don't you think so?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You should do an antiqued mirror. I'm doing black toilet. Black diarrhea. That's your poop. Thank you. Blood on the stool. Mama blowing that shit up. Ain't nobody going to know but me. Moment on the lips. Lifetime and the blood on the stool. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
There's... No, it's like the... It's a bad lighting and bad camera angle that emphasizes you're like... Oh, I like that. Yeah. And it's... Someone had pointed out this... terrible direction in lighting on this YouTube video on a pretty successful channel. I was like, Oh, interesting. I mean, you know, it's all, all of them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, a lot has changed over the years with how society views therapy. Mental health awareness is growing, but there's still lots of room for progress. For instance, did you know that 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey say they've avoided seeking mental health support due to the fear of judgment?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
That's right. A legion of judgy McJudgysteins have been preventing people from seeking the help they need. And when people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them. It impacts everyone around them. It's a vicious, vicious cycle. So this Mental Health Awareness Month, let's encourage everyone to take care of their well-being and break the stigma.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
The world is better when people are healthy and happy. I, for instance, have benefited immensely from therapy. There was a brief time in my life when my biggest concern wasn't the burgeoning black mold in my walls, but the things were a tad, well, just a tad more serious. Therapy can help you deal with things both big and small. And right now, I just want my home to have walls again.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Is that too much to ask? BetterHelp helped me and they can help you too. All from the comfort of your couch, your car, or even your fancy home with walls. You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. And it's fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. BetterHelp is currently serving over 5 million people worldwide who decided to get help.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
So drop what you're doing and access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credential therapists with a wide range of specialties. We're all better with help. Visit betterhelp.com slash bald to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash bald. This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Field. Good evening, ladies, ladies, and gents.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I don't need to tell you this, as I'm sure you already know, but dating app fatigue is a real thing these days. Mindless swiping and meaningless trite DMs have made us feel more disconnected than ever. While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, there's one that's carved out a space for you to find yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
On Field, you have the breathing room to explore your desires, whatever they may be. Open relationships, cuddling, being a brat, tickling, looking at the Empire State Building. Field is a no-judgment zone. Plus, you can even find communities that share your general hobbies and interests like D&D, R&D, CBT, TLC, tennis, or in my case, vintage 1960s European traffic cones.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Free from ads and completely independent, Field is a place that draws curious, playful, and open-minded people. the ones that are actually interesting and won't start out DMs with, hey, how you doing? Want to do butt stuff tonight? Field members are all about discovery. 62% of field members evolve their sexuality, interests, and desires within their first year on the app.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
In a space without any expectation, you can feel free to find true expressions of yourself. For someone who likes very specific things and dislikes other very specific things, field is perfect. The worst part about dating apps is lack of honesty and transparency. For an app to actually encourage that and promote it, I love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
No more getting into someone's apartment and finding out they have a furry outfit made of alpaca fur, which I'm deathly allergic to. Download Field now on the App Store or Google Play. That's Field spelled F-E-E-L-D.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I love that scene.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Are you kidding me? They're the best. Are you kidding? Let's go down the list. French fries. We got Wendy's, McDonald's, Burger King. Wendy's is number one, right? With the french fries. Mom, I don't know what world you're living in. Right? French fry and a frosty? Well, frosty is different. Fresh french fry from a fast food joint. Mom, it's McDonald's or nobody. It is McDonald's. I take it back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I'm sorry.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Wendy's, flop. In-N-Out, brr.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I love a Chick-fil-A waffle thing, but that's a different, that's a whole different thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Of course I do. I hate gays, love trans, curveball.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Trans is still hitting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I saw this interview with David Sedaris, whom I previously kind of adore. I love a lot of his books. Of course, I love Amy Sedaris. But he was doing this OK Boomer bullshit, I think, with Bill Maher on like the New Yorker or whatever, having this conversation of like the gay thing. He doesn't like queer. He doesn't want to identify as queer. He's like, Mary, you don't have to.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
you don't have to identify as queer. Maybe queer's not for you, an older gay man. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
There's a light candle. There's the, I mean, I, I'll never forget that the Hollywood reporter round table with Ms. Jolie and friends. And then that, uh, the French chat show that's in the round. Mama, you can't come for this lighting. Nobody's ever recreated anything more beautiful for a person. Every star that appears on that show is the best they've ever looked in their career.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. But I mean, that's like, it was discussed in a way that wasn't nearly that funny, you know, but it's, I was just like, Oh, you know what? Do we really need to listen to your? Okay. Boomer kind of like take on this issue from a 65 year old gay guy. Who's like wildly successful. Right. I was in an event once and they were honoring, uh,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Chaka Khan.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And Ellen moved to England. It's Cunty. The Dykes are leaving. Are you, can I see your plane ticket, ma'am? Girl. Yeah. We're going to be done.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Let people live. I think they are. But I think the sort of the stubborn reticence to incorporate new language or to kind of like follow the evolution of language from an author is a little crazy. It's like they gave an example of like – I see what you're saying. Do you know what I mean? It's like, well, in my time as a doctor, we used four steps of no anesthesia.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, times they are a changing. Right. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, that's a great thing regardless of whatever it is in terms of change. You've got to be patient. Aunt Gooch is a lesbian. Diesel dagger dyke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It's wild, but it's millions and millions of dollars of like rigs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, I think a lot of the queer terminology exists for the comfort and inclusion of women. Exactly. You know, like, and these like faggot, um, older, you know, boomer gay guys were like, well, anyways, blah, blah, blah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
But look at that. Look at that gorgeous bathroom.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
This small one. Black. That's nice. I'm going to get a black toilet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Ooh, there ain't no other way.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, Brookline Adult Education Center, I got to take a class. For sure. And I think it's got to be in computer processing, like how to hook up my computer, how to type correctly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And turn it off.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Thank you. And so what do I do if it only does capital letters? Right. You know what I mean? How do I forward jokes? How do I send chain letters from my Facebook?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, you know what though? Laughter is the best medicine. And maybe you're a doctor no one wants to go to. That doesn't make it any less important.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Wait, like I thought a drip for me because I'm a little young. Like a morphine drip. Oh, no. I thought drip was like a fierce outfit. No. Drippy long stocking? What if you did Zumba? Mama. What about Tybo throwing it real way back? Oh, hell yeah. Cardio kickboxing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
That motherfucker was. That mother was thick and persuasive because guess what? He got my mother to teach a class for a few months. That's right. Miss Pat.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Ripped Tina.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I mean, I think it's time for me to- Is it a type of martial arts, Taibo? Is it real? It's cardio kickboxing. It's just like an aerobics with a martial arts kind of flair to it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
No, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. If you have someone in your life that you need to kill, you go to a Zumba class.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I don't know you. And like, you know, go in a hard front wig, no makeup. And if anybody misgenders me, I'll cry. No, no, no. I want to do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
So charge with a gun. Run. If it's a knife. That's what I also heard. What? So if you're in kind of close range, a gun, charge. Charge. But knife, you run. Do you know what I mean, though? Like in an emergency. I think you should still.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Imagine this. Imagine this. Hold out your gun like you're going to shoot somebody in this room. Now, this is not real.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
They didn't have the safety on. You're out of your mind. No, but I mean, but you were looking there because you're kind of like, I don't, can I tell you something? If you got a knife though.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Also, you're much more likely to commit suicide.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Fuck him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
That's to you. You can't even fly with a nail file. I mean, I don't know about concealing Carrie with a knife. I think a knife is more of like a... Actually, I don't really know what a knife is good for.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You will get stabbed. Or you wear it on a garter because you're cross-dressing later in the evening in a dangerous neighborhood.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Or no, no. You pull up the dress and it's small gun, medium gun, Beretta, Glock. It just keeps going up and up and up. I feel like that's fierce. Hell yeah. But I just finished The Pit, the show The Pit, the medical drama on Max. Sweetie baby, I feel like you, because you had mentioned earlier that your tolerance for gore is kind of diminishing or not so much as it used to be.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Mama, I had to look away a lot of these times. In the finale, I don't want to give it away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
The Pit is a medical drama in the vein of ER. Why are you watching this? On Max. On a TV in my home. What do you think I'm watching it on? You watch a lot of TV. Well, the other day I was. What do you do? The other day I watched. I think when you're not with me, you're at home watching TV. Many times. Other times I'm out with activities. Which is what? Well, just last night.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, the gym, I guess. Just last night, gym. I went to. Do you ever go to the grocery store? Funny you should say that. I was a frequentor of Gelson's just the other evening, baby. Walked in, walked right out. No groceries. I had to go get coffee. You got to take Fountain. You got to take Fountain. But not like a rush hour.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You gotta take a bow down. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So this was a gritty, fast-moving medical drama on Max that takes place each episode as an hour of the same day. So it's kind of got a 24-hour vibe. What? In the last hour, Mama shit hits the fan so fiercely, so nastily, so bloodily, and so graphically that I was like, well, first of all, I cried my eyes out because it was incredibly sad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And it was just so graphic and I was like, I recommend it if you want to really watch something gritty and, you know, it was a lot. It was a lot. It was a lot, Robin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Very natural tea. Very natural tea.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
In a bucket.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You should have been like, that's always brought me luck. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
They didn't give a shit, but. He was so stressed out about it. And of course I was like, before we got into the line, we're like, Oh my God, I have a weed vape on me. They're going to check. I was like, girl, it's California. But you should maybe put it in a backpack. I just whipped it in a bucket. It's okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
The people, because we have the luxury of going through that little, um, little, little Muppet. I think I'm giving up on the PS direct. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much. Yeah, this will be of great interest to our Salt of the Earth viewers. We are scaling back on our excessively luxurious details of our... We're going to cheaper hotels. We're taking cheaper flight options.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
We're walking, we're biking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
No, I think you're totally right. I mean, I do kind of skew towards YOLO. You're here, you might as well do it, lovely. But I think that it just doesn't make a lot of sense anymore. And I need to make a concerted effort to be much less frivolous and more practical people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You've got to shut that down. You've got to shut that conversation down.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Baby, what do you think I'm doing when I'm staring off into the distance outside? I'm thinking about, I'm thinking about, that was a $48 Grubhub order. That was a $37 Grubhub order. I know. I'm like, what do you think I'm doing? It's like the wheel, the crank is turning. The ticker tape is coming down.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Sweetie baby. Sweetie baby. Put the kibosh on that. Guess who made coffee last night? Oh, look, we're getting very earthy. We're talking to birds. This morning, my breakfast was approximately $8. Baby. That was a far cry from a $48 frivolous Starbucks order via Grubhub, even though I'm a member, even though I got benefits and credits and they love me. Of course I am.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
But 2025 is the year of being single. 2025 is the year of being frugal. 2025 is the year of new beginnings, harsh realities, but lovely acceptance. Let's end on that. That's perfect. Love that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Oh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Begged on my knees for these Cardinals and Finches to come rescue me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Field. I don't need to tell you this, as I'm sure you already know, but dating app fatigue is a real thing these days. Mindless swiping and meaningless trite DMs have made us feel more disconnected than ever. While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, there's one that's carved out a space for you to find yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Very reasonable.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Begging? I beg. I have to take off all my clothes. I draw a salt circle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Absolutely. It's like, please God. When was the last time? Oh, fucking hell. I forget. But yeah, it's like you're reorienting your consciousness toward a goal or away from a bad behavior or away from sadness, heartache, whatever. So yeah, you're literally just, it's like a compass. You're reorienting your thought process. You're Lebanese, you reorient. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It doesn't matter if you're H-I-M or S-H-I-M. Shim.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Ooh, mom, I go to church every day with Miss Jennifer Hudson. I've already been to the water. No. I... I think it's actually been... Fuck off.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You said I need to speak to someone now? I was like, I need a direct line yesterday. Can you patch me into Jesus? I'm looking to talk with someone. I'm not sure if he works here still. His name is Jesus H. Christ. No, I've went... I went recently. It's, it's been in the last few.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Have you been in one, a wedding or, you know, it doesn't, we don't, we go to churches for not, you know, I'm a big church patronizer. I love to patronize.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I was in hiding. That's right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
On Field, you have the breathing room to explore your desires, whatever they may be. Open relationships, cuddling, being a brat, tickling, looking at the Empire State Building. Field is a no-judgment zone. Download Field now on the App Store or Google Play. That's Field, spelled F-E-E-L-D.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, Maggie Smith was trying to get you tied down there, but you said, I don't, you gotta give me, I don't want to do this. This is not my destiny. I love that scene in that movie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I thought that was a comedy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Genie in a Bottle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
She gets gagged. Gagged. Love it. Miss Maggie Smith. The power of music. And the power of Maggie. Right. Maggie Smith, she has... I was just writing on my little letterbox. Is she dead? She's died, unfortunately. She was amazing. I believe she has passed. She was a legend. She was amazing. Legend, legend, legend. She was in this movie that was...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Years before the movie Clue was made, she was in Murder by Death, a murder mystery. Stupid, crazy, a lot of racist elements in this movie. Okay. But she plays this high society wife of a detective. And she has so many amazing line deliveries like, Who would want to steal a dead naked body? And then her husband whispers in her ear something. She's like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I was dating my grandma. That's a big. I was dating my own grandma. I was dating my own grandma.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
She chews that scenery up from that courtroom, from that little thingy. She's vicious and, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Judge Judy? She's a fucking red state billionaire. Like, don't raise minimum wage. Like, wacko. She's kind of like faggy and cunty. Yeah. Wait, have you seen the gay clip from Curb Your Enthusiasm? The gay clip? The gay kid, the flamboyant kid from. No. Oh, my God. This might be a little. It's only a minute and a half. Hold on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Do you like to watch Project Runway? I have never seen a full episode. People love it. That's like Survivor. Some people, it's the only fucking show they watch. I mean, I could see why. I mean, it's really well done, isn't it? You know, it is, but some... It is...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, I mean, Drag Race is, or was, let me put it that way. I don't even think they're saying it anymore. Was a really good piss take combo of Top Model and Project Runway, don't you think? Yeah. I mean, that was kind of the genesis of the whole premise of the show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It's more of a social experiment.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I'm like, I'm going to go stay in some place, not do anything. maybe like dress up like a nun every once in a while and like do stupid games. And then that's, and then at the end of it, I'm looking at, I don't, I mean, big brother. Yeah. Michelle said it's so hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Remember when Kourtney won? Sweetie, mama, name a thing that Kourtney hasn't won besides Drag Race, of course. The hearts of millions. The sympathy of the American.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Hot Loads Delivered Straight to Your Door with Trixie and Katya
Amicable.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Hot Loads Delivered Straight to Your Door with Trixie and Katya
I'm not kidding.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Hot Loads Delivered Straight to Your Door with Trixie and Katya
For even more extremely low prices, visit our stores or check out the Action app. Small prices, great fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Hot Loads Delivered Straight to Your Door with Trixie and Katya
Mama Bees on the dick.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
I have a really bad problem with social anxiety. I can't freaking out. I can't. You're doing pretty good now. But let me tell you where this comes from. You were accused of being a witch in a past life. You were put in a circle and you had to name yourself. Two people so that supposedly you wouldn't die.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Oh, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
They just said, tell us two people. You named two people and all three of you were hung.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Wrote it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Eat it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
And I love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Is that okay?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
$10?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Yes, yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Maybe you know. I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
That's funky.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
I do too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Love.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
I don't want to be that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
No, I can't either.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, money.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
Love you both. I'll talk to you later.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
On a dime.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You know, okay. Can I talk to you about my Vespa? Yes. We already talked about this. What? Your Vespa? So, well, okay. So I thought, I thought to get from my house, I thought to, you're such a faggot. I fucking hate you. You're such a bitch. You're such an ugly bitch. You're such an ugly old bitch. The funniest thing is me. Oh, I know. Drinking and Vespa-ing? Probably not. You fucking bitch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, okay. So anyway, faggot, I was talking about... Oh, I'm having a good one today.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I hate this fucking job. This shit is fun today. I was talking about getting a Vespa because I thought, you know, if I don't want to pull this car out every time I want to drive the mile and a half to the studio, how fun to have a little Vespa to run my errand. And get flattened by a fucking... Well, that's what everyone's saying. By a Ford Bronco 12 seconds into your journey.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Also, in California, you need a motorcycle license to have a- So I gotta go to a motorcycle class?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Well, everybody, okay, this is the thing. Nobody wants me to fly a plane. Nobody wants me to have a motorcycle. Nobody thinks I can drunk drive. When I was marathon training, nobody wanted me to run on the street. Am I just supposed to lay in my house with sandbags on top of my body and just die? Like all of you fucking want to hold women back. Why can't I leave the house?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You need to put on your wool coat, lock the doors and say goodbye. Meanwhile, in this age in America, the girl show will put me on an American airline flight.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Because there was an American airline flip over a couple fucking weeks ago. Do you remember the other day when our plane landed and that shit bounced? Sweetie, that was not a graceful exit. It bounced.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I'm thinking about a lot. You eating that food? On the plane? Yeah. Once in a while. It depends what it is. In the morning, sometimes I think the oatmeal on a plane is okay. I'll think sometimes a little pancake or waffle is okay. I don't love an egg on a plane.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Pumped with calories and food. Were you on our flight to Boston? We were on the same flight to Boston, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Did you feel like we got fed to the point of explosion?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I eventually turned to my friend and I was like, are you like really full? He was like, yes. He's like, they haven't even brought the entree. Seriously. Seriously, I like, and I thought airline food was supposed to be small and like they never come back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Oh, we didn't talk about our sighting. Oh, girls, we had a really good celebrity sighting. Girl, we saw Ludacris, bitch. We saw ludicrous at the PS direct. And I, sometimes we see people. I'm like, Oh, that's fun. That's fun. That's fun. That's them. Amy Adams or whoever. Dakota Fanning. Great. Wilson.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I, he walked in and I, you know, and you know what I do when I see a celebrity, you guys know that when I see them, I say their name. So you guys are ludicrous. Yeah. And I'm me. I just go ludicrous. Like, just said it. And it made me think of the time that I said, I saw Katherine Hahn, and I went, Madeline Kahn. So sometimes I also get the name wrong.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. So I saw Ludacris and I was just like, that's fucking Ludacris.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Thank you. I just was like, holy shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I'll do it for you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
He said once upon a time in a college park where they live a life fast and they scared a dark. Oh, there's a lot of N words. Okay. We won't do this. Okay. Yeah. Now, what do you think about duck quacks? Now, all around the world on the microphone, he leave the booth smelling like Burberry cologne, still riding chrome, got the bitches in the kitchen, never home alone, and he's on the grind.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Please let me know if he's on your mind. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's Didi Megadudu, baby. Didi Megadudu. I got another news clipping for you. I think of you all the time. And I know you get sick of me texting you as soon as I say stuff. I don't. So Scarlett Johansson explained why she refuses to take photos with fans. And I just, the way she worded it. First of all, can I just say before I read this? You love her. I respect.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You can take a million photos or zero. I respect the game, all of it. Do whatever you want. It's your life.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You ain't going to live forever. Vanderpump's so famous and people ask her for photos everywhere we are all the time. She always takes them. I know she doesn't have to.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It depends on my mood. Unless there's a real reason, like a real reason, like I'm in a super hurry. I want a happy birthday to Sarah or whatever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
If we're going to wait for you to look good to take pictures, you also don't take pictures. So she says it really offends a lot of people. It doesn't mean I'm not appreciative. Of course that people are fans are happy to see me, but I always say to people, I'm not working. And that means I don't want to be identified as being in this time and place with you. I just thought it was phrased so crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I don't want to identify as your friend. So I just thought it was so crazy because everything leading up to it was so like almost Miss America. So she goes, but I always say to people, I'm not working. And I went, that's a good way to put it. I don't want to be identified as being in this time and place with you. That sounds like Tokyo Tony or something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I don't want to be identified as being in this time and place with you, which is what I'm going to say every time I leave the room now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Happy birthday, Sarah, or shaka conch, and I'm getting out of here. Okay. So then she says, I'm doing my own thing. I like to be in my own thoughts and have nothing to do with other people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
What career are you building at this point? You're Scarlett Johansson.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
A little melodramatic. I just love. I'm not working. I don't want to be identified as being in this time and place with you. It's really cunty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's very roundabout, but very direct. I mean, you know. I don't want to be.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, an elder millennial, I would say. She's got to be 40 at least. If she wanted to be on the internet, she's had the whole lifespan of the internet. I just saw this TikTok the other day, this girl being like, Right now they're making fun of all the millennial burger joints, the millennial weddings, and they are cringe and they are horrible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Oh, it's like we do things a little differently around here. Just two guys in a dream. We're going to serve your burger for that's $18 on like in like a pan. These like burger joints, little burger joints. You know what I'm talking about? I don't like, like five guys. And these millennial weddings with like, you know, little tungsten lights in a barn with, and the baby's name is like McKaylee.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And this girl was like, yeah, we're cringe, but, gen z you produce the first generation that is more boomer than boomers is that true yes yeah i mean the most like conservative like group age group ever congrats congratulations congrats miss honey miss gen z um i love that loved i had to show you that i like that a lot that's very isn't that fun Do you hear that? It's chime.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's the bells of your financial future ringing flagrantly and bellowing across your city. Did you know that everything is more expensive now? Did you know that I went to see a movie at the El Capitan Theater and two tickets for a 10 a.m. showing were $42? $42, okay? $42 for two people to see a movie at 10 a.m.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Everything is more expensive, and the last thing you want to do is go into credit card debt, and there's a better way. You can build credit with money you set aside and avoid interest or expensive debt with Chime's Credit Builder Card. It's a secured credit card with no credit check or minimum deposit required.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You can start building credit with your everyday purchases and regular on-time payments, all with no annual fees, interest, or credit check at Chime.com. Think about it. Your phone bill, therapy, your gym membership, boring stuff. I mean, let's take that boring stuff and let's, you know, get some credit for it with the credit builder card.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
There's a lot of potential benefits to having better credit. Like my grandpa was always like, don't buy anything unless you can afford to buy it outright. But as I got older, I realized how much having at least some credit can help you through the world. It's easier to plan vacations, unexpected expenses, secure an apartment or a house. That's important. That's a big part of it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I remember being in my 20s and just crossing my fingers every time I had to rent an apartment. There's no annual fees, interest, or credit check to apply. You can use it everywhere Visa cards are accepted, and you can build credit with money you set aside. And there's easy access to 50,000 fee-free ATMs because, girl, some of these ATMs are damn near $4 or $5, all right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And that's just right off the top of what you're already withdrawing, which I think is wild. Turn your everyday purchases and on-time payments into steps toward your financial goals with Chime's secured Credit Builder Visa credit card. Get started today at Chime.com slash bald. That's Chime.com slash bald. Chime feels like progress.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
The Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Spot Me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Chime checking account required to apply. Out-of-network ATM withdrawal and OTC advance fees may apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
So Bill Burr was talking about Elon Musk and he said, Um, I refuse to believe it was an accidental two time, uh, Zig Heil and he does it at a presidential inauguration. This is why I hate liberals. Liberals have no teeth whatsoever. They just go, Oh my God, can you believe this? I'm getting out of the country.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I'm just like, you're going to leave the country because of one guy with dyed hair plugs and a laminated face.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And she desperately wants to be in Madame Tussauds House of Wax.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
She says, why are people so afraid of a guy who can't fight his way out of a wet paper bag? Laminated face. That's probably what I look like today. Laminated face. That's like when the girls, the older gays, just get the lasers constantly. And there's still a lot of the discoloration, but everything's wet. Wet plastic bag.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's a look. The sun damage is. It's wild. The chest skin, the color is rum raisin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Can I ask for the update on your home?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Hell yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Spectrum almost got me. What? Spectrum almost got me. The same thing. Well, fake Spectrum. Fake Spectrum almost got me. Spectrum. Spectrum. They almost got me up to the point where they were asking for pins to cards and I went, Yeah. Nobody will ever ask you for a pin. I consider myself very tech savvy. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
That's hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. You know, our happiest at a hotel. I mean, also, it makes it made me start complaining about that, too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Good for you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I know. That's the thing about condos. Condos are ridiculous. Yeah, it's hard. I think they're really stupid. I think they're stupid boots. You know what it's good for? Because I've had both. It's great for when you travel all the time and you're younger and you're single and you don't have to worry about taking the garbage to the curb, mowing the lawn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You want to make sure that if you're going to get mail and you're going to leave your apartment for a month, it's pretty safe in a condo building. How about an apartment? Yeah, I guess, but then you're just going to give money away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
For me to come this close to giving that pin away, I was like, grandma and grandpa are eating out of house and home. Sweetie, they're- Grandma and grandpa have been- They're on the street. Their body's been buried.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You're making it through. I mean, I'm lucky. Sadly, I think things like black mold and landlord issues and HOA problems, sadly, I think these are all too relatable.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Right, another Build Back Better tour.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. It's, it's been, um, it's a, it's a wild, it's a wild time girl, girl. I mean, I, I, I, at the time of filming this are my bar closed last week.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
They're six feet under.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Thank you very much. Several men have had the way with the dead body by now from your grandma.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Your opinion is your opinion.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I'm angry. I, you know, when I, when I bought in during COVID, it was like, obviously every gay bar was doing horrible during COVID, every bar, every restaurant, every business. And when I came in during COVID, it was like, all right, now we got two people on CPR instead of just one, you know, like, let's try to troubleshoot this. And,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I, we've been circling the drain for, you know, the business was struggling when I came in and we've been circling the drain and it was hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's hard to come. Well, yeah, we throw parties and have a fun environment for living.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I mean, they have no idea. They're not looking at your books. They're not invested.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yes. It was really sad. And, um, That's the bar that I got my first drink at. That's the bar I met boyfriends at, and I just met my roommates there. I loved performing there. I've done dozens of shows there over the years, done TV shows there. I just, I loved that bar. I know gay bars are just bars, and to straight people, maybe it just seems like bars are just bars,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Well, gay bars can be sanctuaries. When gay bars close, like, you know, we were on the same street as where Candy Bar was last week. And I was like, wow, that used to be Candy Bar.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, it's crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Remember when town closed? That seemed crazy. That seemed tragic. That was like a harbinger. And then in West Hollywood, I mean, we just, when Vanderpump, she closed Pump last year, I was like in shock because I'm like, Pump is busy all the time. Yeah. You go down there and it's just packed like Las Vegas down there. I mean, when she closed Pump, I was like, oh my God. That's when I was like, wow.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
If pump can close, that seems like anything could, you know, things can always get that bad. Yes. It was really sad and hardened.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
There's a lot of factors. People's relationship with alcohol. Gen Z's not drinking. They're just huffing glue. Also, people feel, it's good. They're huffing glue?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's good that new gay people feel more comfortable going to a straight bar than they did 20 years ago. These are good things.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Um, it's just sad. It's sad. I think of like playing bingo there and driving there in a snowstorm and getting drunk there. Like I had a ball there. I used to go there and get drunk there with my friends at 21. I just loved it. And it just, once we closed it, I was, then I got really sad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I was almost, maybe I didn't grasp it until it was actually, my mom called me and was like, I saw it on the news. And I just started crying.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Um, I just, I wanted to mention it because everybody's, I mean, you know, when somebody is, it's like, you know, kiss your husband today, call your mom today. Cause you never know. Just go to your gay bar you like and have a drink today.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And it's just sad. It's all, I love gay bars and I know that they have to make a lot of money to function.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I mean, since we moved to LA, it's like we lost Rage, Revolver. Yep.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Is Mickey's. Wait, not Revolver. What was Revolver? It was something else. It was. Stash, Bar 10. Oh, God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Now it's the chapel next door, but it used to be here. That's not like foobar. Is Akbar still there? Akbar, but we used to have, um, uh, bar Mattachine. Okay. Which was downtown. Lovely. It was right by precinct. If precinct goes, everybody's going down. And I'm just, it also makes me feel like when I was 21 going out age, I remember gays telling me, Oh girl, you have to remember triangle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I wish you could remember two 19. I'd like, remember Kelly telling us 29, 65 peanuts or whatever. Like, I know part of queer culture is bars closed and then we later will be the old fag saying, oh, I wish you would have been there for the boom room.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I said, it's hard because in gay nightlife, the only thing profitable is doing like a Taylor Swift daytime brunch for straight people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
In Milwaukee, it'd be like, we always go to hybrid for karaoke on Wednesdays. Then Thursdays, we might have this at This Is It. Yeah. And then Fridays, you have this show at La Cage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And Saturday, you have this. And then Sundays, you'd have a brunch here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And the bars almost all strategically scheduled around each other.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
So there wasn't majorly competing events.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Sometimes you had a tea dance too. Now it's just, you know, triple, triple seatings of chapel Rhone brunch for the wine moms. There you go. That's what you got. It's crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
poor enough for the gay guys poor enough for the gay guys I this is it was it opened in this 1968 one of the oldest gay bars in the country I mean we were open on Christmas we were open all the time and it's just sad it's sad because I mean if any gay bar closes it's sad but something like this is it which is People's grandpas went there. It's really surreal. It's sad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You go fuck yourself. Sometimes I get really high and watch videos of people exposing scammers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And then I went on the internet and people started posting pictures of like the years of going there and how young they were. And I just... I literally in my head was like, I'm 15 for a moment. I was like just crying in my head. It's horrible. It's sad. And gay bars are something you take for granted because it's so fun and always feels like, well, girl, we can always just go.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I feel like as gay people, it's like, well, we have nothing to do. We can always go to Johnny's or whatever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. And I will say in Milwaukee, we're very lucky. We have like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
10 gay bars or something oh yeah a lot which i know is very fierce it is fierce for the size of the city yeah i just um it's it's a bummer and then you know the other thing is too given the presidency and everything everything feels so amplified a gay bar closing feels it feels like mr mcbride you know when we're talking about the price of eggs we're talking about the price of everything we're talking about the price of alcohol and operating a business and like
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's like, I know. Um, and you know, I'm, I'm hoping, you know, I help keep it open longer, obviously. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
But like, do you remember when town closed? I don't know if Ed's listening.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
When town closed, that's not even my home bar. It was shocking. And I remember being like, ah. It was kind of shocking. Shocking. This happens, you know, you and I have gotten the privilege to work in every gay bar across the country. Yeah. And especially early in my career, I remember going to like. Peanuts in Cleveland. Mobile, Alabama.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
To B-Bob's or S4 in Dallas. I remember like the, oh, do you remember when that place in Florida closed with the hotels?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I see you, girl. Girl, she's in. Lock Tina. She's in a high rise in New Delhi trying to make, trying to make. Yeah. You know, because I mean, if you're doing. Fraud from another country is probably safer.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Splash.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Oh, um, um, you know what I'm talking about? I can't think of it now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Um, it's, um, parliament house, parliament house. I remember being like, how's that possible? I know, you know, the gay bars, it's, it's not the same, but when drag Queens die, it feels impossible. It does.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. It's crazy. Elmo's dead. I know. I do have a good Milwaukee thing, though, I want to talk about if that's OK. So I this is a little bit personal, but so my friend, Mike, I went to college with my first roommate and I was gay and I was just like, you know, trying to make a friend who was my first friend. He studied early childhood education.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I was doing musical theater and we stayed roommates for years through college. His name was Mike Mastriani. He went on to be an early childhood education teacher. And, uh, we stayed friends after college, but it was always one of those things where like, Oh, I just missed you. Maybe I'll see you for Christmas. I'll catch you in the spring. And we just kept doing this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And we, and then, um, this was like, uh, it was like a couple of years ago. Um, I was in town for Halloween and I was like, Hey, I want to see you. I was like, you know, he was like, I'm going to come. Uh, I was like, I'll come to your Halloween party at this is it if I can make it. And that's what made me think of it. He was like, I'm going to come if I can make it. And he, uh,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
This sounds horrible, and it is a real story. I thought he was coming that night, but he didn't come. And then a week later, I'm in London working, and I get a call from his mom. His mom called on the phone, and she was like, he was biking to your party, and he didn't make it. He died in a bike accident. Holy shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And it was like so sad. And it was like, obviously we hadn't talked in a good year or two. And she was like, you were one of the last people to text it. He was trying to come to your party. He was going to surprise you at your party. Oh my God. And I just felt, you know, And that was like, wow, you got to make time for people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You got to make sure if you want to see someone, you can't do next time, next time, next time. You just have to do it. But he was a kindergarten teacher. And so I went to his funeral. I was in London working and they showed his funeral on Zoom. And they showed all these videos of him teaching kindergartners and stuff.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You're going to kill me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You know, because, because he was a teacher during COVID, there was all these videos of him teaching kids remotely. So it's like how to make a book and he's folding paper and showing kids how to write their name on it. And it was like fucking angel. Yeah. And you know, there's not many men who go into early childhood education. It's like mostly women, which is fine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
But, you know, trying to have more of a male presence with early childhood education is important. Thank you. Fags. I'm sorry. Damn. I haven't talked about it much because there's, you know, at first I was like sad about it. First it was sad about, oh, I wish I would have seen him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Then it's the sad that he's like always wore a helmet and didn't wear one because he was coming in a Halloween costume to my Halloween party. You know, it's horrible. He was our age. He was my age. Okay. But his family started Be Like Mike, which is like, it honors him and gifts the funds to help support and develop male early childhood educators. That's incredible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
So trying to get more just men to get involved in early childhood education. So since it started, it's raised almost $100,000. Oh, fierce. They're just trying to create a legacy. So if you guys Google Be Like Mike, that's my friend Mike, my roommate from college and Get the boys teaching the kids. So it's not all, you know, the brunt of women's job to teach young kids. Sorry that was so emo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Emo episode today.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I know. And pour one out for This Is It. And pour one out for Milwaukee. Milwaukee. Love Milwaukee. But also, it just goes to show you, that girlfriend from college of yours, that family member, Make the time, make the effort. We all take for granted that we're just like, oh, see you next time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You know, I got guilty of that with my mom. I wouldn't call her enough and she wouldn't call me enough. And we got better about it over the years because I'll be like, I just think she'll live forever. And then it's like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. And I always like, that was the other thing too. I always was talking to Mike's mom, Marilyn, about doing an event at the bar to, to raise money. And it was just one of those things I always was like, we'll do it. I know we'll do it and do it. And so you just got to do it. You got to prioritize doing it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
So go to be like, or just, you know, Google be like Mike and it's run, it's his mom and dad started it. So that's fierce. Get the kids learned by the young men.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Throw a dollar at Mike. Shit. Throw a dollar. Well, Oh, I got a present for you. This was more like a fun thing. Is it a poisoned apple? No, it's kind of crazy. I was on the TikTok shop. Is my address on here? No. And these are called them ugly dolls. I just thought you would love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Oh, yes, girl. In the video, they were throwing it because look, does the legs and arms kind of wiggle? I fucking love her. Yeah. It says, thanks for your purchase. We hope you're enjoying your new Them Ugly doll. If you're happy with your purchase, we'd love to hear from you. Anyway, it's called Them Ugly doll. I saw it on TikTok. I had to get it for you. Isn't it crazy?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
She's Smiley McHappy. Yeah. Love her. Horny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I do love her. All right. She's going right on this set, bitch. I think we've exhausted these people emotionally. I think we've screamed at them too long. Anything else you want to plug or say? Girl, she is. She's ready for her pap smear.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Isn't that me on the shirt?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Girl, do drag race. Get the girls. Tie your hair up into a bun. Put a ponytail on there. Get the tall boots from Amazon. Walk in in the swimsuit and fall on the ground. That's what the girls are doing. That's what really gets the girls kicking up at the gig. Get that pin, number one. Just make Mama Ru laugh. Get her pin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I'm not exactly the Snatch Game police, but I love that the girls now are just dressing up as like, we have Cupid and a scab.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And we have Alyssa Edwards as Alyssa Edwards. It's just, it's random.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
The only real Amber is contestant number eight. Yeah. Amber Adkins. A-L-A-B-A-M-A. Wisconsin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. Beat it up. You know what happened? When I almost got scammed, it was so crazy and wild because I felt so exposed. I was like, oh my God. Somebody could just be rooting around on my online. Somebody tries to log into my PlayStation Network account every two days.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
I'm still, I think this was like a few days ago. I'm still bruised, aren't I? This is from like five days ago. That's crazy. Yeah. It was bad. It was purple. It looked like I had a grape.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Because I went down, I went diving deep because of the new set. I have to tell you this. I saw this on the internet. The eyelash dilemma. Men's quest for masculinity sparks debate. A trend has emerged where men are trimming their eyelashes at barbershops to appear less feminine. Do you know about this?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
And then they take the little buzzer and just cut them off. Because is having eyelashes... I said, fellas, is having eyelashes gay?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Brushing debris away from my eye is gay. Switch my wig up, feel like I'm cheating. What is the line?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Boop. Miss blind boots.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, I mean, I think it's supposed to keep debris out of the eye. It might also have a shadow of a girl. It has a purpose.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
long lashes. Gross. Yeah. No, no, no. I noticed you don't have the lashes. Yeah. I go to the barbershop and they trim them off. What the fuck? And I guarantee, I guarantee that's the type of motherfucker who shaves off all their pubes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
That's the gateway drug. Pretty soon it's like, no, you have to remove the eye. Take the whole ball out because having eyes is gay. It's crimes of the future. Surgery is the new sex.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It was just like a nice gesture of like no homosexuality and you had to stick your weird little coil dick in it and try to make it some kind of weird porn experience. You had to just piss all over something so beautiful and normal. I had to drag myself to the cock room with my corkscrew cock.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
You're like one of those people who watches two girls chatting in the locker room and then you're like, oh, now they're going to turn les for my entertainment.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Steven is so funny. I would kiss Steven. Love him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
He couldn't choke like this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Are you kidding me? Kanti.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Raspberry, blueberry. I don't do cheese, but that's okay. One thing about me that you, girl, it's country. Did somebody say something about getting some Danish? Did somebody say something about Danish? Girl, I'm not the Danish girl, but I am Danish girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
He's got an eye patch. In real life?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
It's toilet paper fed through.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
She said, my friend's going to die. That's tough. I'm sorry. She's going to die. Then you take out your malt liquor and you pour one out for the homies.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I think in video games, if you like give your life for the team for the win, it's like respect. Like, you know what? That person died. F in the chat for the shooter, mama. You know about that Italian shooter? I do. And I'm afraid to participate in that conversation. I'm not going to, we're not, we're not praising him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
The only thing I will say is that I don't know whether he committed that crime or not. What I do know is that he is hot and sexy, just like many other hot and sexy people. And I, that's, that's all I'm going to say. Right. Someone said, if the body is tea, you must set him free.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I saw one comment that was like all night, all day, on the floor, sugar walls, blown out, mind bending, world ending, like people describing the type of sex. Are people so horny that a distant photograph of a murderer, potential murderer, is what gets them going. No, here's the thing. This is a very significant assassination. For sure. This is a very significant assassination in our age.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
We are so fucked up as a country and so online that all we can do is say, ooh, I'm going to fuck that man. Are Italians white? Right. It's... You know what I feel? It's crazy. My participation, I fear our fans so much because I fear criticism, that level of criticism about every single thing we do at all times. I'm just observing what I see.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
When I comment on news things, I'm like Tokyo Tony where it's so in and out. I'm like, well, whatever it is and what it may be, I'd hate to be in her shoes right now. You're Tokyo Tony. You're trying to sell your front lawn. You're trying to rent your front yard. Did you see that shit? No. She's like, we have these stairs. It's just the front of her house. And you can have a function here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
My arthritis shot that I have to get once a month, I can't get it shipped to me because I have to, what, be sitting home all day to receive it? I'm arthritic, but not that arthritic. You know what I mean? Well, that's crazy because I have my medication delivered. Yeah, but it's a shot.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Or look at all this. It's a yard. You can have a banquet. Oh, she's trying to do like Airbnb or something. Who's getting married on Tokyo? My wedding reception was on Tokyo Tony's front step. And it's so drab and humdrum and not spectacular. It's amazing. I was like, what is going on here?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
If you watch enough home design, home interior TikTok shit, eventually the people are like, welcome to my home. And you're like, baby, that's two pillow shams and a dead plant. Get off the internet. Log off, ho. Log off. You know what I mean? You're not making your brownies from a box and being like, see, you guys wanted my recipe. We don't have to jump to... Great segue.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
You know what I did today? I fucking made and hung some curtains. Wow. Because I had- Huge if true. Huge if true. Where'd you hang them? I don't know. No, over the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I ordered some curtains. This is a riveting topic. People are going to love this. But like, you know, I had all this fabric. Because if you think about curtains, very expensive. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Think about fabric, quite cheap. Curtains are the rub. Healthcare and curtains are like the rub. The CEO of curtain.com, better watch out. I have health insurance and lately I've been like, should I just put away that money every month? Like if something, if I really got sick, do I really believe a health insurance place is going to come through for me? I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
So should I just be saving the money so that someday if I am sick, I'm like, Oh good. I've been saving money for my illness. You know, I think it's a scam. I know it's a scam. I know it's a crock of shit and I know it's not great anywhere. You know what I mean? Like socialized healthcare is not like exactly the ticket either, but it's also better to not have it be a business model because
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Well, for profit, for sure.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I mean, everything is a business. Everything's a business.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
It's just whether or not it's for profit. Yeah. Education and healthcare. When I was doing Queen of the Universe and I had to go to the hospital, I didn't have to pay in the UK. And that was nice. Yeah. But when you go to the UK and you do comedy as we do and you joke about, must be nice with the free healthcare, the girls will be like, let me tell you something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, you wait three years for an appointment.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
So I do think in America, we're like, must be nice. Well, you can buy a doctor. You can buy a doctor. Here? Yeah. Oh. If you're a Vanderbilt, you have a doctor. You have an MD on call 24 hours a day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Last week when I was really sick, when I told you. I'm not going to talk about it because if you guys came to the live pod, you heard about all the illness. But I got so sick. I had a nurse come to the house to do the Zofran and the IV drip. Did she analyze your diarrhea? Why do you think it was a woman? Because all nurses are women. Because you said she.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
i did no i didn't yeah she did what was the gay guy it was a gay guy but and she was cunty um but i felt that was very luxury because i felt like yeah no shit i felt like i'm way too sick to even get in an uber to go to a hospital well that's the thing also you know what you're gonna do when you get to the hospital your leg isn't cut off because you weren't in a motorcycle accident so you're gonna sit in the hallway for about eight hours oh yeah you know what i mean yeah fucking a
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Who can we call? It's just, and then also any package, any anything, it's being delivered today. I hope you're home between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. to receive your package. So my luggage was lost yesterday. I had one, my giant drag bag, on a different flight. How does that happen? How does that happen? Different flight. A later flight. I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
When I was in St. Louis, remember I told you about my appendix out there? Yeah. When that happened, I went to the hospital at maybe 1 a.m. And I sat there until 6 a.m. in the waiting room like this. Oh, I believe it. And the commercial that was playing on a loop was for hair restoration clinics. And I sat there bald. And you still haven't gone to Turkey.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
no one will take me nobody will take you to turkey i've been to paradise but i've never never been to me i can't believe they never done that as a lip sync on drag race the carpenters no who is that charlene charlene there's no doubt you dream about the things that could you know you know what i noticed in madison they paved a parking lot and put up a paradise what does that mean
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
You know, pave paradise and put up a parking lot. They did the opposite. You can't pave a parking lot and put up a paradise. Yeah, like a gorgeous hotel. But how do you pave a parking lot? It's already a parking lot. It is paved. I need you to think before you talk to me because this shit don't make sense. Make it make sense, hoe. All right? Make it make sense, bitch. Wait, my curtains.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
So these, it was a green stretch velvet. The stretch is not important. We don't want stretching curtains. But it was a green velvet. It was $3 a yard. Okay. That's very cheap. Very cheap. Is it that four-way stretch velvet like the drag queen gown fabric? It could be. It couldn't be. I don't know. You haven't seen it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Don't you think stretch velvet for something that hangs, it's going to stretch over time, isn't it? Oh, no, no, no. I'm not saying it's ideal. I'm saying it's insane in the moment. She's cute. Did you weigh at the bottom? Did I wait the bottom? So the curtains will hang straight. She's hanging straight. She's bunching quite nicely. Oh, nice. So that was like 40 bucks. If that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Are you open to doing some freelance work? No. $40 curtains by you? No, not a chance in hell. Curtains by Caitlin. But I ordered some from CB2 and they were like $120 a panel. 48 by 84, $120, $120. Everything is wild. Everything is so much. I, everything's so expensive. Can I just, I don't, I just, this, this really gets me crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I understand that the gap in like how we make money is greater and greater and greater. I feel, I feel that I think like 25 year olds are poorer now than when I was 25. It's harder to have an apartment. It's harder to make money.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Inflation.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Everybody under the age of 24 has those $600 Apple headphones. What? I mean, I see so many of those giant expensive headphones. And I said, where do these kids get that kind of money? When I was 24, I didn't have that fucking money. That's a really good point. I mean, also they all have iPhones. Mary, iPhones are like $700, $800. Honey. Sweetie. Honey. Tootsie. So I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Those big headphones. I mean, I think headphones are too expensive in general.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
also they handle it for free on airplanes mama those airpods mac airpod maxes whatever the fuck they're called they never turn off are you talking about the big ones yeah that's what i'm saying don't fucking turn off there is no off switch off switch they're always on they have the only way they can turn off is they run out of battery so they automatically connect to anything hate it do you have those yes they're expensive hate their guts
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
That bag was so shy. She's like, I don't want to go yet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
They're very expensive. Yeah. I mean, they're nice, but, like, they're not that nice. I mean, the noise cancel on a plane is cunty. But the Bose do that. Yeah, they do. So do the Beats by Dre. And the Raycon or whatever. Those are fine, too. The Raycons are nice. I have those little Apple AirPod Pro things. Yeah, me, too. Those, like, are fine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Was it United?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
The noise cancel is not near the... It's not, like, the cans.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Of course it was United. You're not even United with your own bags on United. Okay. You're trying to be reunited. I spent an hour on the phone last night with a robot, texting with a robot. I was like, this is enriching. This is very lovely. This is giving me pleasure. Megan, can I have my bag? It took me like 45 minutes to get to a person who tried to get me back with the robot.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
It's not, like... I mean, in those, you can't even hear your own voice. I love it. On the airplane. I don't want to hear about her legs. I don't want to know about his life. Just like cancel it up. It's crazy. It's too much. Where my packages are getting delivered right now. I think we should leave. You should have done this live from your house waiting for a package.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And then maybe the guy shows up. And maybe they... We pull out his big cock. Big cock. And unzip the brown khaki pants. And suck on his balls and his cock. And in the front, she certainly is packing. She's packing the package for the delivery that she's delivering. She's packing peanuts. She's packing peanuts. I... I don't have a fantasy about... Because in my experience... Oh, I do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
In my experience, delivery people can't wait to either... Get away from you. As soon as they see you pick up the package, they're gone. Also... Nothing is worse than them. You stay home all day. They don't knock. They don't call. And you walk outside and there's a nerve of them to leave a post-it note that said, baby, we were here and where were you? That shit pisses me off so much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Baby, we were here and where were you? I swear to God, if I have a ring camera footage of you doing that and not ringing the bell, I'm exposing you. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes right now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Tokyo Tony. I just, I love, I mean, the yummy.com guy, wherever you are, I would, I would fuck him. It's a six year long, um, a fantasy at this point. It's the same person all the time. Uh, yeah. Wow. For most part, he's like not really my type, but for some reason there's a sec, there's an energy there. I don't think he feels it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
In fact, I know he doesn't, but I definitely there's in the soap opera of sexual fantasies. He's had many episodes with you. Yeah. One is he gets, listen to this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
so he's coming with the groceries and a car like like speeds through a puddle drenches him wet he's only wearing gray sweatpants and a great t-shirt totally soaked huge dick totally visible he comes in he's like i'm so wet and i'm like i can see that we got to get you some new clothes why don't you take those off and you can dry off and use my body as a towel right it sounds woke the whole thing just sounds really woke and i just like can't get into that
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And also, now that the super conservatives are coming into power, I'm going to have to wipe my entire internet presence and start off as a... Sounds woke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
If anybody asks, I've been super conservative the whole time, and please don't kill me. True or false? Lana Del Rey is singing at the inauguration. True or false? I don't know. Huge, if true. If I know her, she likes to be...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
swinging in the old bars singing with the i don't know yeah swinging in the old bars um hanging out with jude law wiggling my name yeah kissing in the kissing in the rain kissing in the blue dark she really is a great lyricist she's not that was the onion who's giving who's giving at the inauguration can we guess let's cast it now oh um the girl from candace cameron or kurt cameron
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Candace Cameron. Is that the girl from Full House?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I was like, not today, ma'am. Not tonight will I eat my noodles. No. I just... I better talk about noodles next. I don't want to talk about the airport all the time, but it is all we do. It doesn't matter where I'm going, where I'm coming from, where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe? The flight to or from LA, the freaks come out tonight. The freaks come out tonight.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Who shows up? Is it like Tim the Tool Man Taylor?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Mudang? Mengdang? I don't think it's Mengdang. We got Mudang on lock. Mudang is confirmed. They got that twerking panda in the Chinese zoo. But the liberals would have the spirit of peanut.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Pour one out for peanut.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Pour one out for peanut. Pink would pour one out for peanut. I thought of you because I saw something crazy on the internet. Did you see the woman that stowed away on a flight to France from New York?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
She's going to get prosecuted. How dare they? How dare they? She was trying to live La Vie en Rose.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And they just let her. It's their fault. They should go to jail. I have a lot of questions. How did she get on the plane if she didn't have a ticket? Thank you. That person should go to jail. Not her. But they said she stowed away in the upper. The Upper Woods. Didn't she go up in the top? She was flying in the overhead bin. In the attic? No, she was not.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And they only caught her because she kept going pee. She kept going, getting out to go pee. If you're flying on the plane and you're watching, you know, Sing To or whatever the fuck you're doing, and you look up and you see an old aspiring to be French woman crawl out of a hole like the grudge, you hit that light. Ding! Ding! Hi, no, I don't need to do club soda.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
A woman just came out of the fucking overhead and she don't look French. It's like deep red sky or whatever. That, that vampire airplane movie. Yeah. Crazy. I would try to be debilitatingly French. I'll be like, I don't know. You know, you just hold tight and you cath it up before you try to sneak in there, sweetie. Amateur hour.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
If you're going to commit to getting on the legal... The thing is, I think it's illegal to do in the States. It's certainly illegal to do to other countries. What, peeing on planes without a ticket? No. She obviously... There's some due processes to fly to another country. You and I know what happens if you don't have the right paperwork going to another country. Yes, I do. And...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I don't know what she thought would happen. Well, I'm curious, what is at stake other than she stole a plane ticket? Right? Like, what's happening there? What's the crime? Fraud? Well, then there's people in your country, I guess, that... I guess... Internationally speaking, somebody could be in your country, you don't know if they're there, doing crimes, et cetera, doing smuggling, et cetera.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Oh, because they're not going through passport control? But she must have intended to. I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Get her on the pod. Patricia, well, I think of her as tanning mom because that's what I think she looks like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. And one thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. Because with every fix, update, and renovation, it becomes a little more your own. So you need all your jobs done well. For nearly 30 years, Angie has helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
From plumbing to electrical, roof repair to deck upgrades. So leave it to the pros who will get your jobs done well. Hire high-quality pros at Angie.com.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
There was a woman across from me. She was an A and I was an F or whatever, so I was across the whole aisle. Because on Delta, it's A, B, C, D. But otherwise, it's like A, L, semicolon, number one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Did you see that the alleged CEO shooter had a letterbox and people are going through the movies he liked and he saw Wicked? He also liked the Lorax. Yeah, and he's like an Ivy League grad. There's a lot about this alleged shooter that is very interesting. If he gets off, he'll be on Dancing with the Stars in two years.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I was going to say, because there's a lot of people really going hard and out for supporting him. The body is tea, you must say. He'll be on House of Villains. Like Candy Ho. No, he'll be Candy Ho. Candy Muse. Oh, I wish Candy Ho, I don't think is quite cutthroat enough. They should have the old Candyland version of House of Villains. Candy Ho. Brooke Candy. Candy Muse. Candy Muse. Candace Owens.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Candy Ken. Candy Ken. Everyone... Saw him at a farmer's market. Get out. Had the mega hat on. Had the mega hat on. You're joking. I don't feel like I'm outing him because I think he puts it on the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I. You're kidding. I also was like, oh, I reckon. And he had his baby or whatever. And I was about to be like, I hadn't seen him since pre-COVID. I was like, ah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And then I saw the red hat and I went like, ah. oh wow what do you think about gay baiting do you care queer baiting do you care i don't care i mean this is the thing sex sells and gay people i think are hyper sup um um what's the word um men let's just say men Yeah, like sex sells and gay men are super susceptible to that type of salesmanship. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Is it gay baiting or do gay people just tune in? Well, gay people notoriously love straight, not baggy gay content. Yeah, I mean, he has the MAGA stuff on his Instagram, so I don't feel like I'm outing anybody. You know, it's so funny, though, because it's funny how like a certain look can really change the whole perception. That picture, it's like, OK, you go live your life.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Mama, I was in the middle seat in a business class the first time in my life. What is that? So they had, this is like, you know, first world problems, whatever. They had two, so the row goes like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. It was a big plane. So there was like four of us in the middle. I don't like that. I don't either. I don't like it at all.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
But when he's like where the pink shit and all the crap and he's like half naked with a big butt, I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I always thought that you would do a collab with him. That's not happening. He came to one of my shows once back in the day and I was very grateful because obviously his online presence was so funky. It's funky and weird. But I didn't know his political affiliation.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Also, he's German, right? Austrian. Austrian.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Kid Rock. Kid Rock is going to pull out her weave and she's going to strut out there in her gut.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Tim Allen. Tim the Tool Man Taylor. Tim the Tool Man Taylor. Mel Gibson's going to come do a play. No, Mel Gibson is not MAGA. He's not? Oh, I thought he was super conservative. He's just anti-Jew. Oh. He's just had many... It'll be Gary Busey. It'll be... Is it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
It's so disappointing when these like C-list actors from the early 90s. I was rooting for you, you know? Yeah. Who's the girl? Dennis Quaid.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Dennis Quaid's going to come through.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Brett Favre. Well, that hurts. I was a kid who used to lust after Brett Favre. He was huge. And I thought he was so hot. How do you pronounce that last name? Favre. I'm assuming it's French. Like chevre.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I guess. Scott Baio.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
That's the guy. Who was the boss? He had a shag like Dorothy Hamill kind of. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Huge if true. Huge if true. Okay. My drapes, my curtains. Ooh. Dune Prophecy. I know you don't, you haven't watched it. You're not going to watch it. You just got to give me a minute. No, I could. And I will because I love the substance when you made me watch it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
So if you have, did you see Dune at all? Okay. I've never seen one. You don't really, it would help. It would very, yeah. Actually, I think you do need to see Dune 1 and 2 to really get the world vibe.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Mary, Friends had 38 episodes in a season. Well, TV shows used to have, I used to, I mean, I love Buffy. I know we're maybe not supposed to like address we didn't program anymore, but me as a, me as a kid, I watched Buffy and I'm sorry. Okay. You don't have to apologize for, for watching a show that had many episodes. Right. And it had 22 episodes a season and they were hour long.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I mean, those people were basically making a movie full time for a living. Yeah. One long movie. This is two Lord of the Rings. This is to Lord of the Rings. And they call it... I mean, it's on Sunday night. It's on HBO Max. It's prestige television. And you know I'm gooning and baiting for that. What about the drag name Lorna DeRings? Lorna DeRings? Lourdes DeRings? Lorna? Lourdes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Lourdes DeRings. You could just be Lourda. Lourda? Lorna DeRings, I think, is better. Lorna DeRings. Yeah. That's fun. It's like Lorin Order.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And then they had catfishing. They had people facing the other way. That's catfishing. Isn't that strange? That's like when the trade has one of those Bass Pro Shop hats on and he comes over to your house and he's like, hey, girl, you know, pick a storyline, bitch. Bass Pro Top. That's what I want. Bass Pro Shop hat. I like a real thick and juicy. What if I just started singing that whole song?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Lorin Order. I like that, too. You know what I'm going to give?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
HBO, I'm looking at you. Or Max, whatever you're doing now to avoid paying taxes or paying your actors. You motherfuckers, you motherfuckers got to release more episodes. You know the way they're doing that. Well, I'm talent on Mac, so I won't be commenting on this. I know you switched to an app to avoid paying some people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
But now that you have the Mac's app, did you know that you can switch me to your avatar? That makes it all worth it. Isn't it great? Do you know what else I think? I've been watching this show. Well, I can sit. I've been watching this. We've been doing the live shows, and when I get real impassioned, I have to stand over you and yell at you. Yes, I love that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I've been watching this show called Later Daters, which is the oldies dating. Is this like the Golden Bachelor show? Yes, but it's more like wholesome. It's not competition. This is like those STD ads on La Brea, like STDs at any age. Yes. And they're oldies. Sibilis Ocalata. What? Ocular Sibilis. Oh, yeah. Um, You date it in any age. It's called Later Daters.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And it's kind of a fun show and everybody has their own story. Some of the people are dating because their husband or wife of however long passed away. You love it? I love dating shows. I don't like the natural. But I love Love is Blind, Love on the Spectrum, The Ultimatum. I love anything like that. And Netflix has a lot of those dating programs. They surely do. And I like those dating programs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Why do you think that is? Um, you like watching human behavior. Yeah. And I like love and I like, I like they love people. Those shows make me sob when they know all the time. I can't imagine it actually happening. Did I tell you about Patrice? No. Baby. I know we're probably running out of time. I watched this documentary.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
We're not even close. I was like when I tried to end the interview with T.S. Madison at 25 minutes. Yeah. Because I was looking at the second hand that said 52. You're like, we got to get out of here. Yes. This documentary called Patrice. Okay. That is about a woman. Is her name Patrice? Yes. Okay. It's about her and her husband. I...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Forget what form of disability she has, but her betrothed has cerebral palsy and they want to get married. But I guess legally what the documentary talks about is if two people who are living like partially with benefits of disability or like access to medicine, help stuff, et cetera, if they got married, the government can revoke those things.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
So if they got legally, if they got legally married, the government would be like, oh, well, we're going to take away your access to medicine or treatment or whatever, because it counts as like two incomes or whatever. Oh, because you can't double dip, you cripples? I guess. That's crazy. The documentary really tried to explain it clearly. They had her talking about it and they had experts. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And I got the gist of it, but I'd hate to say it wrong. Yeah. That's insane. But there's, can I ruin it for you? Absolutely. I'm never going to watch it. It was so moving. It was so fucking moving because this woman, okay, she's telling her life story, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And every time she tells her life story, there's a stage where they had kids playing all the people in her life, her mom, her friends, whatever. And she played herself at every age. Whoa. And so when it would cut to her telling a story about her life, it would cut to a stage like an elementary school play of like her reenacting almost like Welcome to Me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And she's playing herself. And, you know, she had a really hard time with her mom, really hard time. So she became friends with a lot of younger kids because, you know, like I think intellectually she was kind of developing with kids who were a couple years younger than her. And then as an adult, she's a crossing guard and she's like, my passion is taking care of kids.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I would hear it and listen to it. Thank you for a piece of that bubble. Not that one. Oh, what were you singing? I thought it was something else. Oh, I was singing Baby Got Back. Baby Got Back, yeah. Baby Got Back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I love looking out for little kids. I love children. I love protecting children. That would make me cry. So I'm already like, I'm already like, like, like there's dew on the lily. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm about to cry. I'm, I'm, um, The pre-cum. My eyes are pre-cumming. Yeah, the drip. I got the drip. So her van breaks down and her boyfriend uses a wheelchair.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
So her van that's ADA is one of the only ways she can really go out with him, see him, whatever. Her van's broken down. The access to a vehicle for somebody with a disability, they're as expensive as a vehicle and more. The van she needs is $55,000 just to get her to work to do crossing guard work. And it's her on the phone being like, can you move me to a corner closer to my house?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Like I can't get to work. Yeah. And so it's all the trials and tribulations to these people just base level trying to like get married and have a job. And every part of the way, it's like, this system that's meant to help you? Oh, you got married? Sorry. Like, crazy. So she's trying to raise money and she does a GoFundMe. And for months, she's collecting cans, trying to save about $55,000.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And then she starts a GoFundMe. This scene, fuck. I cried like I knew everyone in the movie. And also everyone I knew had just died. Oh my god. There's a part where she has a GoFundMe and she wakes up and somebody donates the rest of it. It says $55,000. And she's like, wait a minute. She calls the GoFundMe line and she's like, I need to confirm that this is like real.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And they're like, yeah, somebody just donated. You're going to be able to get your van. She's sobbing because she can't believe she's going to be able to go to work and see her boyfriend. I was, it was such a good movie. And I sobbed like a baby. It was a movie. Yeah. It was a documentary. I'll watch a movie. It was documentary film. And then she gets her van and she gets to work.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And then she ends up having a commitment ceremony that she organizes with a bunch of other people who are afraid to get married because they'll lose their benefits. Yeah. I just think people should be allowed to get married and not lose access to things like, you know, health. Yeah, or like going in and out of buildings. Yeah. And it was a really moving documentary. Damn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Oh, God. That and the one about the families of Sandy Hook. Oh, Jesus Christ. Prosecuting Alex Jones. I can't watch that. It was so devastating. So devastating. These people being like, well, this man on the internet started saying that our kids didn't die and that we're liars.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And so the trauma of these people already losing a child and then years later, the internet saying that they made it up. Like... People are... My hobbies include knitting, macrame, and pretending my children died. No kidding. Like, what? No kidding. And it starts with... The documentary starts with the parents describing the morning their kids left for school that day. What they ate.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And like, I was... I was crying, but also fists gripped. Like this world is fucked. That's how I felt when I watched all those Larry Nassar documentaries. I felt that I had been abused by him in the order, like my sister had.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And so I felt like if I feel this way, I can't imagine what the fathers of these daughters feel in the mothers of these daughters feel like, like no wonder somebody tried to kill him in court. Well, then the info was people on the stand being like, this is a witch hunt. I'm being treated unfair. It's so crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
This is the kind of psycho environment, internet environment that allows for this kind of treatment. Like we have an assassination. He's a thirst trap. We have a school shooting. It's not real. You know what I mean? It's crazy. Yes. It's not good. I consider what you and I participate on the internet. I consider what we produce to be fluff. I know that we're not the news.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
These are different songs, which is confusing because songs now are songs that existed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
We don't have the responsibility of the news. I do pee-pee and poo-poo online. I do pee-pee and I do poo-poo. I mean, we talk about Tokyo Tony and yoga on the plane. I literally do pee-pee or I do poo-poo. Right. It's one of the two things I contribute. I go hee-hee or ha-ha. Or hoo-hoo. There you go. Or hoo-hoo. If you had a kid, what would you say for pee and poop? Oh, that is a great question.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
You ready to go dumpy? What about she got a dumpy? He's got a dumpy. You got a dumpy? No, listen, listen. I got a children's story. So I went to visit Avi. So Avi and Sasha came to the show, Madison, 20-year college reunion.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
20 years ago, we were in college together. Tell the people how you know Avi. They probably know Avi from. Yes. So if you watched Regrets or Reflections or any other YouTube content I produced back in the day, he edited all of it and did all the titles and everything and the music. And he was the mastermind behind. Those are computer videos. He's a legend.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I have no interest in children other than my two nephews. And sometimes I forget that they're there. But, you know, they're cute. I love them. I give them stuff. But I don't think about kids. Graham.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Right. Okay. Here we are. Girl, the flight across from me, she, I mean, sometimes I'm like, there's two types of people I see on the LA flights all the time. One of them is straight guy, black hat, black cat on his head.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
But this little motherfucker... This little motherfucker, Lucy, the cutest kid I have ever seen in my life. Wow. It was cartoonishly cute. Like, she was so funny. Her timing was so on point. It was like she was doing a bit, but she wasn't. She was just being three and a half. Hysterical. Cute. I wanted to kidnap her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I think it'd be funny if you were convinced that your three and a half year old friend's daughter was doing a bit. That's just her age. That's not a bit. She's Benjamin Button. She's pretending to be young. But she was like, she's obviously very smart because she was so articulate for three and a half. Oh my God. Percoaches. Percoaches. Percoaches. And she was, oh my God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I'm so, I'm so happy when parents have children that aren't ugly. Right. And who aren't mean. Yeah. You know what I mean? I kind of get fierce with my little niece when she was visiting. I talked about most of this during the live pods, so I don't want to repeat it. She sprayed shit all over the walls. She sprayed shit all over the walls.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
But also, you know, I prepared myself that, you know, listen, I guess this is my house. And even though she's my guest, if she starts to act wild, I'm going to have to let her know that, you know, the world has lots of different environments and we can't always act the way we act at home. And so I said, there was one point where I said, I felt like I was my grandma. I said... Hey, listen now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
We're all watching a movie now. And so we need to relax and sit down a little bit. And I was getting real fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
That's okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
But then my other version of it was like, hey, listen, let me tell you something. This isn't your house and I'm not your mom. I'm not like your mom and your little grandma over there. I'm not going to let you do whatever. So guess what? You're going to sit here. You're going to eat these butter noodles and I'm going to sit here with you. And afterward, we can get you a piece of candy. Okay?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Or you're going to hang from the porch, bitch, with your mouth taped. Girl. With your mouth taped. Girl. And then I got her candy and I was like, in my house? Gummy? No, bitch. We're getting the smart sweets. Low sugar, low calorie. Bitch. Thank you. I have your genetics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want your teeth to be my teeth. So let me help me help you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
always black hat black wayfarer song black jacket black shirt this it was computer okay right it's like you just described me without the computer filmmaker it's always like the outfit are you an indie yeah are you are you running final cuts I'm finding it very difficult to profile you at this moment. Are you working for an ad agency? It's like so corny boots.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
So I give her the smart sweet and she goes, this is nasty. And after she had diarrhea for two days, they gave her the Pedialyte Popsicle and she goes, it's gross. This food nasty. Girl, this food nasty. Kennedy Davenport. My approach was this, because the internet said toddlers go through phases where they reject all food.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
The internet said that they go through a beige food phase where they want noodles, bananas, bread, plain. I mean, when she was hungry, she wanted like a plain piece of bread.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
She didn't say I want like curry penang curry. Yeah. She said, I want, you know, long snout trail bass. I don't know. Whatever. Marinated veal brains. Yes. So I gave her the option. Okay. So I said, listen, we're going to make noodles. I can give you red sauce. I can give you this, or I can give you buttered noodles. And so I let her pick it. Okay. And then I let her help make it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
So I'm like, put this butter in here. And then having her make it, then she wanted to eat. She was like, I made this, I did this. How old is she? Three.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
But I shared the food with her because the internet also said if the kid won't eat, if you eat it off their plate, they'll be like, me too. And that's how I got sick. Don't share food with the sick children. Well, I've learned that children are nothing if not harbingers of illness. And that's okay. I guess that's part of the part of all you adults and parents out there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
You must be fighting off illness at all times. All times. And not sleeping during the first few years. How about this little sick child who won't sleep in their own bed? Oh, my God. My baby would be that baby from Dr. Sleep with the huge swollen diaper. Weeks old. Oh, yeah. Cause I'd be sleeping in.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I think I would be a hard. Dead baby. Would you co-sleep? I'm not sleeping with no baby.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
That's how I feel. Once they're good, they're good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. No. Well, remember, I Googled, I don't know if I talked about this in this, I Googled that you breastfeed until, it's natural to breastfeed until seven years old. That's interesting. And I asked Val, I said, how long did you make it? She said three months. Yeah, three minutes sometimes. She started giving you Diet Cokes and Capri Sun and told you to get out of the house. Go play outside.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I'm one. Get out, ho. Get on the floor, ho. Oh, breastfeeding. Breastfeeding. Swollen boobs. Tender nipples. Beautiful and natural. Love it. Oh, so wait. I was telling Tracy at the airport, I noticed there was like all this, all these windows, right? We were at Chicago in this, in the terminal, all these windows. And there was just like nothing out there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I was like, oh, they should make little vestibule balconies where you can go breastfeed and Smoke, have a bit of fresh air. Why do you have to breastfeed outside? And why do you have to breastfeed next to smokers? You don't. So there's this little smoking patio. There's a little enclosed breastfeeding room. Because people are weirded out by it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I think you should be able to breastfeed on the escalator. A girl, everybody should be able to do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Take the whole shirt off. Breastfeed. Breastfeed totally nude in the aisle while you're doing yoga. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a little balcony for fresh air. Why can't you get some fresh air when you're in the airport? This has air.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Palm Springs Airport has that because it's all outside. Yeah. And what's that other airport that has a Delta Sky Lounge that's partially outside? LA. LA has a smoking little like. But you're in the Sky Lounge. No, no, no. It's very, very hidden. It's secret. When I learned about it after flying five years at LAX, I was like, you motherfuckers. You betrayed me. You betrayed me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
You should be like Gen Z and get the Zin packets. Shove them up the pussy, boof the Zin packet. Well, you're never going to believe this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
What happened?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Are you going to ask me for money? Oh, honey, I don't think I can give it to you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
night just one drag no i've been um trying to smoke less than i so i stopped for five days straight only because of depression and then um too depressed to smoke damn yeah sleeping up like 13 hours a day and then i was like after thanksgiving i was like uh just try to smoke less and it has been working i think i had like two or three yesterday it's fierce
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I think we're good to stop there. I think. Bye. Goodbye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
You know, I want to look over and see like a Richard Simmons type guy in a clown wig going like, yes, that's what I want. And then the, the woman from LA, there's kind of two classes, but it's, um, Older blonde warman. Warman. Swollen cheeks. Trout pout.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
The injected lip.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
The face is collapsing. Monogrammed onesie. Orville Peck. Oh, more important person. Let's see what he says. More important person. Get him to say slur. What? Get her, Jade. Hello, you're on the Bald and the Beautiful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Hello, friend. Say hi to the girls. Hi. Country Music Zone, Orville Peck.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
We're fine. Do you want to just say your phone number real quick so everybody can reach out?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Can I call you later?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I love you. Bye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I know he was going to, you know what he was going to do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Say something very, very off color. What was it? I'm not exactly sure. I thought he was going to say, hi, slut or hi, faggot. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. But then he went Miss America on us real quick. Yeah, he was like, um, oh, oh, hi. Hi, thems and ladies and gentle thems. Persons of interest in the local area. What about this woman on the flight? Which I wish I saw more of. Yoga in the aisle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
All right. You know how when we used to do lunges down the terminal? What about yoga in the aisle? Well, can I say in her most flexible days, most flexible, there would be this thing you would do. We're in the seat. She would bring the legs straight. She would hug the ankles to the face on the flight. It's because you got to stretch your body out. This, I mean, I shift so much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I put the, I got to do, I got to do arching. I got to do twisting. It's like, if you're like, Especially if you're like so flexed like this for like four hours. It's hard. It's horrible. It's bad. But this woman, I was next to this woman. I had the window seat. She was in the aisle. She couldn't get up. And she really wanted me to know why. I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
She was injured and she wanted to tell me all about it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I love that. I was like, that's fine. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to talk to you. I'll just scoot over. She, every time I like, and then when we were deplaning, she was like, you know what I love on the planes too? This is what I love when it's you. And I don't, I like the window seat. No shit bitch. Cause I don't get up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
But when I do have to pee, when it's that once a day, when I got to let loose that hot oil, you know what I mean? And the person next to me, always like an older guy, always a bigger guy does this. I'm like, can I get up? And they go,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
oh no no mama we're not doing i'm like we're not doing that i'll be your red line special because i'm not he had a comment if you're gonna make me climb over you no you're gonna get like the oh i'm sorry yes i would like a tea can i have a water and a tea did you need something from the restroom girl girl Cause I'm not like, I'm not doing, I'm not Gabby Douglas. I can't do a sprint.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I can't do the jump over this motherfucker. This is so funny. You said that this short, like guy who did this the whole flight. He's like, hey, hey, hey. I was like, what? But so he was like 5'8". And I, so I wanted to do this because I was in the aisle. I like swing my legs over into the aisle. I think that's fine. No shit. He didn't want that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
He wanted, he was like, he was hell bent on not inconveniencing me. So he just wanted me to do that because he's a little shorter and smaller. I was like, no. I don't like that. But now I've tasted your hole. Right. So I got up and he almost told me to like, he was like, you don't need to get up. I was like, I'm getting up. Cause I don't want you to straddle me. You fucking weirdo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
No, no, no, no, no. Don't get up. But the whole flight, he was like, Hey, I was like, what? Yeah. He's pointing up. We're in the air. Yeah. I just like smile and I have my headphones on. I'm like, there's my body language indicates nothing social or interested in you right now. It's just so crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Also, for some reason, this flight yesterday, normally, you know, maybe we get recognized by maybe a flight attendant and we'll get recognized the most if we're together. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like that can't be. I guess it is. And also a lot of flight attendants are gay. Gay, right? So this one, this was crazy. I'm going to blow everybody's fucking mind.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
This woman came up to me at the, what was it? Where were we?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Madison Airport. I've never flown out of Madison Airport in my life. Because I'm always, just drive back to Milwaukee, whatever. No, that was Chicago. This woman comes up to me and she goes, I saw you checking your bags and I wasn't sure if it was you, but I have to say I'm a huge fan. And of course she's a fan of ours, so she's gorgeous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
She has big, beautiful almond eyes, like young, beautiful girl in the prime of her life. And she's in one of those, but she's in her work drag. So it's an orange sweater or orange vest. Cause she's from the runway. Oh, kind of like me. Oh, the thing. Yeah. She's in her like work drag, but I'm like, oh wow. I bet you when this girl puts on a little pussy dress, she really has it. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
But she's in the cargo pant, you know, she's in there. She's yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I go, what do you do? She said, you're going to feel me on your flight. I said, what? this grip, like imagine the grip. She said, I'm the one who pulls back on the flight. I said, what are you talking about?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
pouring out for the pullout and the devil laughs so wait she's the one who what now she told me that when a flight pulls back do you know this what is pullback so you know they close the boarding door and they go put your seatbelt on and the flight didn't sit down and there's a before the flight can fly forward it has to back away from the airport okay she says most commercial planes can't back up and she drives the little machine that pulls the plane backwards imagine the grip
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
I think she just grabs it with her pussy lips and crab walks backwards. Yeah. But all my years of flying, I did not know planes can't back up. I had no idea. I thought you just reversed. They have the camera, like the Lexus and everything. So she was like, when you feel the plane go backwards, like think of me. I'm down there pulling the plane.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Think of my hot grip tight pussy pliers on that plane.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Damn. And I guess she told everybody on the plane that there was a quote unquote, Famous person. So the flight attendant took a picture and then the flight attendant comes up and goes, sir, put your bag underneath this. And he goes to reach. And then he goes, your bag's fine. I just, I wanted a reason to stop and say, uh, it's great to have a famous person on the flight.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And I said, there isn't a famous person. I'm like, I'm not just me. Yeah. I'm not that person. And he goes, I don't know. You know, I don't, I'm gonna have to Google you, but we didn't know. He was just like, it's great to just have a famous person. Wow. Just generally famous. Just generally famous. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. What college town? It was wild. Beyonce in Madison. Yeah. It was a little weird because half of them, um, were, were very like, uh, Violent? They were a little dramatic. A little disruptive. The crying? A little embarrassing. Yeah. But the other half were like, just chill, whatever. Sometimes I just keep, if I hear something, I have a sixth sense that's just hearing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
And I like, I kind of, you know. My favorite is when people go like, let's say their sister's a huge fan and they go, oh my God, my sister's going to die. And I go, that's sad. I tried not to sneeze and that's what happens. Let's take a break.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Hi, I'm a FedEx man. Are you home at 1 p.m. on a Monday? Nope. Girl, this whole fucking country. Signature required. Tuesday at 2 p.m. Oh, what do you mean you're not home? Oh, you have four jobs to try to, you know, ding dong Thursday, 11 a.m. I'm the UPS man. Signature required. Mary, my blood is boiling. I know. Can I tell you what else? What about essential medicines?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Field.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
Free from ads and completely independent, Field is a place that draws curious, playful, and open-minded people. the ones that are actually interesting and won't start out DMs with, hey, how you doing? Want to do butt stuff tonight? Field members are all about discovery. 62% of field members evolve their sexuality, interests, and desires within their first year on the app.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
In a space without any expectation, you can feel free to find true expressions of yourself. For someone who likes very specific things and dislikes other very specific things, field is perfect. The worst part about dating apps is lack of honesty and transparency. For an app to actually encourage that and promote it, I love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
That's Field spelled F-E-E-L-D. How do we recover from that? How do we move forward in the show? How do we move forward in the show?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And your state of mind is just as important as your physical health. And with therapy, it's a really good reminder that all of that can be very connected, right? In Western medicine, we think of our head and our body as like two different doctors. But me trying to take better care of my body has so much to do with taking the best care I can of my mind. Let's talk numbers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
No matter black, white, or beige, chola or orient made. Wait. No, no, no. No matter black, white, or beige.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Traditional in-person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per session, which adds up fast. But with online therapy, baby, you can save on average up to 50% per session. Plus, I have a little offer for you to save even more, but we'll get to that later. Your mental health is so worth it, and now it's so in reach, all right? I've benefited from therapy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I cannot tell you how much therapy helps my arthritis. I can't explain it, but your body tries to tell you things that your brain is too shy to speak up about, and it really helps with my pain management. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally, and it's very convenient.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
You guys, just last week, my housekeeper was over and she was cleaning. And you know, Maria doesn't need to hear about my personal struggles. And I love being able to take my computer in the backyard and just completely do therapy without having to get in the car or take an Uber and just have a private backyard therapy experience.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
If you got a roommate, it can be really embarrassing to, you know, do it in the common space, but you can do it anywhere. Do it in your room closet. your well-being is worth it, all right? Visit betterhelp.com slash bald today and get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
You know what lyric I got yesterday? I saw a TikTok of her singing this yesterday. It's so weird that you brought... Lady Gaga? It was this morning. What is it? It was this morning while I was cooking eggs. Eggs? Girl, I went big this morning. Wait, what was the lyric before you forget? She was playing her piano with her gown on and she said...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
The only Notary public. Yeah. You have a document in the Northern Hemisphere. Mama, you need to go to Miss Kansani. Let's go to Miss Kansani.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I've never heard that. She is so, you got to get into her. When's the last time you really prayed? Thank you. Never? Oh, I don't know. No, I prayed a lot. Pray. Pray. Who about what? You know, they're different things, certain issues, different like, you know, activities.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
No, I could tell some about time you prayed when you like, um, are about to open a piece, an item of Taco Bell and you're, you're, you asked for no cheese.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
mama that's because she don't that's a hope in a dream not a prayer and they put cheese on there what do you think 50 of the time when you ask for no no no to their credit it is very rare although i gotta tell you something when i went to i was um i often get to the point during the day where i'm starving for lunch because i don't really love lunch and so the other day i begrudgingly shuffle over to erv's burgers right there on santa monica boulevard and i say this is my order it's i sound like a crazy person i sound like amy adams or something julianne moore in safe i'm like
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I'm gonna put my lipstick on in the glass of her boudoir and I was like I never got glass it's the mirror She's calling the mirror the glass. I never got it. Well, you know, I listen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Can I get a hamburger?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
There is no cheese. That's what you think. But I got to reiterate after, after decades of being disappointed and being thrown in the mud. Yeah. So I was like trying to make myself extremely clear, annoyingly clear, ridiculously clear. So I get home, there's cheese on the burger. I throw up. I threw the burger across the room and I screamed. Luckily, it was just a half a block away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
So I marched my ass right back and just said, there was cheese on this. Oh, thank God. Yeah. But I'm telling you, I can't do it. It's like, oh, did you want period blood in your shake, ma'am? Well, I would actually prefer that than cheese. You just walked out like Morgan Wallen. Yeah. You just left in the middle. I hugged Jenna Ortega or wherever the fuck it was. Oh no, Mikey Madison.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I gave her a kiss and I just stormed out onto my private plane because I need to go back to God's country. Get me to God's country. What do you think about that? Which is what? It's just people who are like honest, Bible-thumping, God-fearing, red state folks who are the true heart and soul of America. The true heart and soul of America. The flyover states are not a monolith.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I need these people to all figure it out. Because did you see what happened in Wisconsin this week? It was horny. It was really fucking horny. So Wisconsin has a weird law where people can spend a lot more on elections. And this was like the most expensive... Corrupt? Well... Elon Musk was giving away, he flew to Green Bay to give away a million dollar check to someone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
He was paying voters to vote. Isn't that illegal? He was tweeting, oh, if you're in Wisconsin, go door to door. And if you're knocking on doors, have them take a picture with the Republican candidate and I will Venmo you $20 or some shit. That sounds like against the law. Maybe that's all out the window. He was on the news being like, you know, on Fox News being like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I thought it was a wine glass.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I thought a vowel, you know. That lyric I always understood. I'm still at a loss of black, white, beige, Chola descent. You're Lebanese. You're Orient. Yeah. So, I mean, if you're thinking about, I don't want to drag her through the mud. Of course, she's a very talented, lovely woman. But when you're writing a song, you're a songwriter. Big time. Big time. Huge. Huge if true. Walk me through this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
you know, or however he talks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And he was saying, oh, it's razor thin race. It's a razor thin race. That's why I'm going to Wisconsin to spend all this money. What he didn't tell people is that he's currently in like a lawsuit because Wisconsin doesn't want any, Wisconsin only allows car sale, selling companies. They don't allow like, I think they have laws where they don't allow people to go there and
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
be the company and sell their own cars. They use dealerships or whatever. And he was trying to get around that and be fierce and cute. So he obviously has his own motives. There's pictures of him in Wisconsin with a cheese head on and being like, like my hat. I'm like, bitch, name a packer. Shut your fucking mouth. Name a city. Girl, name cheese. Thank you. Say where you are on the map even.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Thank you. And so, you know, for him to go to Green Bay, which is a very like, you know, red part of Wisconsin and, And you don't do that, try and take him shit. It's like, who cares? And then he fiercely, they fiercely lost by like 10%. He spent millions and millions and millions of dollars. To see it, love. It was like $24 million or something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Mama, that $24 million could have gone to the local homeless shelter. God's country. I love to see people lose money. Well, you must love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Well, I'm DJing. Next Friday, I'm DJing the Hacks premiere party. Yes. And I watched...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Because I sat down with my computer and I watched the show and I pulled tracks from the show and pulled tracks inspired by the show. Loved it. Let me tell you something. So I remember everything because I've legit watched every episode three times. So in the first season, you know, the fabulous Blackjack Dealer. The girl. So they play a song by Selena Gomez in the car. Where she sings it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Yes, she sings it. It's so funny. I actually thought that was a fake song created by the show to like, just, you know. To make it seem kind of like a bad pop song.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And then I was like, whoa, this was a hit. This was like a hit. I needed to hate you to love me or something like that. It was very unmusical, but I guess it was a big hit. Anyways. Okay. Another chance for Selenators to come and call me jobless. Stay mad jobless.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
But what did you think? It was great, right? It was great. I'm on like maybe three episodes into season two. Oh, fab. It's great. The first, the pilot's really cunt. The pilot's really cunt. The scene where she comes into the, you know, she interviews Deborah's house and then Deborah chases her down the driveway and offers her the job. It's just so great. I cried a few times. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's a dramedy, honestly. She is such a good actress. The part where Jean Smart is telling her that she tried the new material and she's like, you know, and her dad, the girl's dad dies. Yeah. and she's Ava, Ava's dad's dead. And they're sitting in her childhood bedroom. For Deborah Vance to show up to her dad's funeral and do the crowd work and make everyone laugh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It was beautiful. And Hannah is such a good actress and they're both such good actresses. And then the part where I cried a few times. the part where she's like, so you tried the new material. How did it go? And she was like, I bombed, but she is talking like somebody who's been on autopilot as a comic for all these years.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And she's talking about the thrill of bombing and you see it in her eyes and she's such a good actress. You're just like, she is legendary.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Miss Jean Smart serves her to you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
She's so pretty. Yeah. And every delivery is so dry. She's so fucking mean in that. I love how mean she is. Oh, yeah. Guarded, I guess, is the word. It's unfair to call her mean. I mean, she could be pretty mean. I mean, but like, you know, it's always coming. You always understand where it comes from.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
No, no, not evil. Not vindictive or anything. Well, whatever. And then the scene where she has that blowout with Ava and she goes like... And she goes... Because she finds out that she went to that job interview. Yes. And she's like, this is my life. And she's telling her like, you know, my career is not something for you to fuck with. This isn't just a job. This is my life. I was crying.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I keep crying. I stay crying. Couldn't believe that guy she fucked killed himself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
You did? I did. I was like, so this is obviously too good to be true. This person is not going to be around. What's the scam? I was like, there's going to be a big scam with this guy. I thought he was either going to rip her off or something, or there was going to be something bad happen. I was not surprised, but that was great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Did I tell, I think I told you about this last time I was in Vegas, they were doing formula one. Do you know what this is? A car racing. Okay. So they have these, they don't look like cars. Oh, the real drag race.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I don't know if they're drags.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Drag race has been real silent since drag race showed up. Honestly, because drag racing is fuck. Who cares?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I think she has her own style. You know what? I think it was written by someone else. I'm like a stan of that shit, of Miss Lady Gaga. Of which shit? So you won't catch me. No, I'm not trying to bring her down, pull her down. I'm not trying to drag her by any means. I'm really not. I'm trying to lightly pet her. Right. It doesn't matter if you love butter.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Driving in a circle. That's just called trying to find a parking spot.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Thank you. That's called going to Koreatown for dinner. Hello. Yes. So I was there and they had a hotel room for me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It was those glass, big glass walls like in the episode. Yeah. And I could see the Formula One race on the streets. On the street. So it's blocked off and they have these giant lights installed watching cars drive faster than I've ever seen in my life. I mean, it's scary. I think it's scary. It is scary. I was pretty drunk. So I was kind of like, it was almost cartoonish where I was like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's like, I couldn't believe how fast they were going. It's really wild. Yeah. What other moments of hacks to have you? What about Kayla? I text Meg. I said, I'm watching your program. And she was like, what program? And I was like, I'm watching hacks. I said, I love all your hair and makeup and outfits.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Also that her putting on the pajamas, the silk laundry and getting on the bed and renting him like a Lamborghini. And her dad being like, you know, her being unfireable is so funny. So good. She's like, do you need, I mean, she's just so wildly hilariously inept at every single part of the job. It's so great. She's so, I mean, I don't use this word often. Magnetic. Oh, are you kidding me?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I am watching for her and her scene. And then, obviously, her counterpart, the gentleman who plays her boss... Paul Downs, co-writer. He has to... He has to... Phoenix, Arizona... It's all these robocalls. Mary, I've been getting spammed with a wazoo. It's wild. He has to be with her and ground the scene and be so for real, which she's so fucking bogus. They are so good together.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's the Jimmy Kayla chemistry. It's such a great, like... Because it's just such a good symmetry of these, like, pairing off chemistries. Like, the dynamic between Ava and Debra is so compelling. The dynamic between Kayla and Jimmy is so compelling. The dynamic between – what's his name? Damien and Josefina is so compelling. And then Debra and the – Marcus, I mean, everybody.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's like such a good, everybody's doing their best. Yeah, it's really.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I love it. I knew I would love it. I'm just happy I had a paid opportunity to watch it. I couldn't go DJ the party and I've never seen it. So I'm finishing binging it this week so that when I get to the party, I'm ready for the premiere. Yes, I'm jealous because I can't go. I'm going to see Orville's Gala. Oh, fuck Orville. He's always doing something. I'm worried, Mary. What about?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I'm worried about this production of Cabaret. Why? I hope it's not too long. Girl, people don't know. We're going to see Orville's. He's doing a preview kind of night for his friends and family for Cabaret. No, it's a gala. A gala. Or a gala. Gala. Not really sure which. You know you gotta wear a suit. So that's what I want to talk to you about. You want to make money? Wear a suit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I have one nice suit and it was given to me. Sia gave it to me from her husband's closet. I think she was like, figure yourself out. Listen, for the folks at home, you know, folks at home might not know, I am not an economist, but I know that the best defense against financial ruin is a side pony sale. RuPaul is killing it on the TikTok. Shit, mama, she's killing me. Can I help you?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Put your claws up because you have toenails, baby. Spread that shit. You know. Yeah, I just think it's wild. Because I understand in songwriting, like, often it's nonsense. Look at some of the ABBA songs. Look at some of any songs. It's like, that's that me espresso, you know?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Bag on the side of the head. She posted once that it was like, don't worry about how many fucking TikToks I'm making. Cutting me up, cutting me up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by Blissy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
While I am a folliculary challenged human and prefer to go through life with my beautiful head on full display, I still have skin on my head as well as on my face. And that skin needs moisture. Even when I sleep. I don't have time for crazy facials or days at the spa. I have things to go and places to be.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
So instead of getting up at the crack of dawn to undergo a seven-step moisturizing routine, I get a head start while I sleep with a thing called Blissy. Blissy is an award-winning dermatologist-recommended silk pillowcase that protects my delicate skin with naturally hydrating silk fibers that keep me moisturized all night long. Plus, they're easy to care for and machine washable.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Since I started sleeping on this little piece of magic, I've noticed how Blissy has helped me to wake up fresh as a daisy, looking less like a gargoyle and more like a regular human man. Don't let regular pillows make your hair look like one of my wigs after a show where the HVAC broke down.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
With a Blissey pillowcase, you can sleep well at night knowing that you'll wake up ready to slap the world across the face and be an undisputed champion of life. Plus, I love that they're antibacterial and hypoallergenic, so they don't clog my delicate pores. They're even cool to the touch, so they help me manage my epic night sweats.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I used to wake up in a puddle of my own perspiration, but now I arise from bed refreshed and chilled like I slept on a sheet of ice. Take it from both me and the 3 million people who've already bought these pillowcases. They're simply amazing. And because you're a listener, Blissy is offering 60 nights risk-free plus an additional 30% off when you shop at blissy.com slash baldpod.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
That's B-L-I-S-S-Y dot com slash baldpod and use code baldpod to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Let's talk about Angie. Anyone who owns a home knows how much work it takes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Whether you're dealing with daily maintenance, emergency fixes, or even a dream renovation, it's so hard to find the right help.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Luckily, Angie's been connecting people with skilled pros for 30 years, and they made it easier than ever to get your home projects done well.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Because Angie gives you access to a nationwide network of tradespeople with the right skills, experts in over 50 categories from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. Just bring Angie your project, answer a few questions, and Angie connects you with nearby pros who match your needs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
You can easily read reviews, check out photos of past work, and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Which means you could tackle that next home project in just a few taps.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
So join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to take care for their homes. Download the free Angie app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Like, if it sounds cool and it works for you, then great. But you're Lebanese, you're Orient, right? It's so crazy to me. I think it's wild.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
The other scene I love from Hacks was when it's Debra's last show. And I also love her dynamic with the guy who owns the hotel who she's kind of fucking. Oh, Marty. He's so, wood fuck. Wood. Love. Wood. Love that guy. Love the palm. Shooter McGavin. Shooter. From Happy Gilmore. Oh, I don't know. I've never seen it. Oh, Happy Gilmore is an Adam Sandler movie where he's a golfer.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Oh, sure, sure, sure. And his golf rival is him, the actor. Shooter McGavin. He's evil and he's so fun. He's such a great, everybody's doing it. He's awesome. I love the scene where it's her last show and her agent, what did you say his name is? Marty. Marty comes up. He's the hotel owner. It's like, no, no, no. Her agent.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Oh, uh, uh, uh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy's like, when my father died and he trusted me to be your new manager, it just may be. And Kayla walks up and goes like, you got this bitch. It cuts him off. That shit is so funny. I watched it like three times. She's like, what? She's like, what's your skin? What's your skincare routine? I use Vaseline. Yeah. I was in my house alone. It's cunty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Like doing this, like...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I mean, having really like having a being a big fan of like prestige TV because I the issue I have a lot of network comedies is that they're just kind of cornball. They're kind of cheesy wheezy. So like this was like such a great breath of fresh air.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And I honestly think that my evaluation of this this whole show is that there are two episodes during season three that are not spectacular, but they're certainly not bad. And that's it. That's the only weakness in the entire series for me. There was a couple episodes where there was like, oh, that was good, but I don't want to watch it again that much. But that was it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
No, it's a bizarre swing. The 2025 version would be, you're someone and you're someone else. You can't say anything. Oh, I love that, though. I love that. We are someone and someone else. It's like, you're North Canadian or you're from Laos.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's like a really fucking well done series.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
The only problem is I don't like tension. I don't like to be stressed out. And right now in the series, she just found out that Ava left that voicemail and told all her T's. and she was flipping out. She was like, you ungrateful bitch and throwing shit at her. So I just got there. Is this the season cliffhanger? I don't know. That's wherever I am. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's, yeah, it's a lot of, I mean, I came home drunk and watched it. So I was kind of like, I, what about the scene where she tasks her to go into the antique shop and get that, um, salt and pepper shaker. Yeah. So funny. So, so good. I love when characters are bad at lying. Yes. She's very bad at lying, but it was like kind of a devil wears Prada moment that ended really sweetly. I love that shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Devil wears Prada. Yeah. What are we going to do? Um, To get the Gaga and Beyonce tickets. Not that we're going, but if we were gay. If we were gay. If we were going. If we were gay and not in the industry, God bless you, good luck, and have a great time doing that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I don't like concerts. I need to sit down and miss grandma. That's how I feel too. Yeah, miss grandma. I mean, I guess also I don't do stadium shows. I'm sorry about it. I know. It's just too many people. The logistics of getting in and out stress me more than the desire I have to see the show. I feel trapped.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's M. Night Shyamalama Ding Dongs. The trap. It's the trap. Yeah. Girl, can I tell you what I did last night? Please. So my friend Robert was like... he's one of my friends who I always want to hang out with and, uh, just never lines up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
De Niro.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, of course. Bob Pattinson. Um, I call him Bob, Bob Pattinson. Um, he, Bob Patterson, Skunoke, Illinois. Um, well, wait, wait, was it Diane? What is it? It's, um, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, Yes. Doreen Cavanaugh. Doreen Cavanaugh. You know what the best thing about that morning was? I think we talked about this. We were on the plane and you weren't feeling it and I weren't feeling it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And I was seated right behind you. And some days when you're at the airport and I know you're not living, I just want to like... See what I can fuck with. I just want to stick some fingers in there and see what feels wet. You know what I mean? Like, check it out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Whether you're from Vancouver or Piedmont, North Dakota, you were born this way, faggot. Now put your pussy in the air and squirt. My mama told me that I was gay. You know, that's what I would do. Looking at the glass of a crack pipe. I fucked
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And I call Doreen Kavanaugh, Piedmont, North Dakota. Game changer. Flip the script completely. There's nothing worse than someone on a plane who wants to talk. No, and let me tell you something. This, not to be brief. When we returned from Durham, North Carolina, from a fabulous show, thank you very much. Five and a half hour flight. You're welcome. I delivered. What did you do?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Where were you, honey? No, the five and a half, the five and a half hour plane. Now you say, I say five and a half hours and you're like, ah, it's three movies. Maybe Godfather one and two. Um, but like, you know, love to watch movies on the plane. You know, here's the thing. I don't. Why do you do it out of, out of a breathless, desperate attempt to make the time go by, even though, uh,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I don't like that. I don't want to waste time to just throw hours away. I need to live my life to the fullest. I need to grab it by the carpe diem. You know what I mean? I don't want to just waste, erase, whatever. In any case, no lay down beds. Oh, so sad. And then do you agree? I mean, it was like a 10 hour, five hour flight. Are you friends with Taylor Swift?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
That was honestly... I lost a whole half day of skiing. That was... Honestly, I think it was five hours. It was felt. Eight, at least. That was M. Night Shyamalan. We went through a wormhole. I'm telling you, baby. We went through a black hole.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Something happened. I got off that plane with a walker. Like, I was an old man when we got off that plane. It felt rotten and wretched. The beach. Thank you. What is that movie called? The plane that makes you... Yes, old. It's just called Old. The Beach. Well, it was a beach. It was a beach. You know. Roy Rogers. Hi, my name is Midsize Sedan. And hello, my name is Ashley.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I have a calcium problem. You might see me crab walking later on. I don't know. What is that about? Have you not seen the movie? What movie? Old. Oh, yeah, I have. Okay, you know, Miss Crabwalk and calcium deficiency. Oh, that's who you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's cunty. I love the scene where that mom just goes half-deaf. She just turns her head and loses her hearing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And weren't the kids fucking... Not the brother and the sister. Just they were two other people. They're not kids. They turned into adults. They went in that tent, toddlers, and came back in their early 30s. Love. Yeah. And the pregnancy went like this. Fierce. Hunty. Really fierce. It's very bad. Very, very bad. I liked that movie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's a good bad. It's not a boring bad. Do you know what I mean? Why do you think it's bad? Do you think the movie's bad? I think the movie is one of the worst movies ever produced on planet Earth. Old? Yeah. I didn't think it was that bad. Well, I saw it in the theater with my friends Sam and Sam and Joseph, and half of the time was spent like... Like, it was so bad. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
can I say you know it's funny that you brought her up because I wrote down a bunch of topics to talk about today girl number what number one number one I was making breakfast this morning and I watched a tiktok video of her singing that whenever I see her singing alone with the piano I stop swiping I always watch she's incredible
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It was so clunkily written. Baby, go see Snow White.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Gal Gadot and her show choir performance of a lifetime it's so crazy I watched another clip of her some of her line deliveries today you know outside of the good old you know classic hits we always see but like I was like oh baby I can't see that shit it just makes me irate you don't taste that I'm like Video Village the director sit behind the camera you don't taste that I think I don't I think it's payola or some shit why don't you make the girls read I don't care how famous people are make them read what do you mean
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Make him read for it. Oh, no shit. These offer only hoes can't act their way out of a paper bag bitch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Get Meryl down here to read for it. Get the good good. I'm sure he did Into the Woods. Into the Woods. Into the Woods. What's your favorite musical? Little Shop of Horrors.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Oh, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Can't beat it. You love the movie version with Rick Moranis and Steve Martin. Of course. And I've seen the stage version probably 10 times. Did you see the one with Vicky Boggs? No. She ate literally in that. Yeah. She was cunty in that one. So my friend Robert was like, let's hang out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And you know when somebody actually does something very out of character in LA, which is like make an effort to have a friendship? Or show up. Yeah. So I was like, okay. Keep a plan. He's like, he's Australian and I don't know how to do that. So he was like, I'm going to go and talk to Survivor. And I said, okay, why don't you stop at my house? I'd love for you to come if you're keen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I said, I don't want to go to Survivor, but I said... because I've been to that high tops on accident on Survivor Night, and you walk in. In Los Feliz? Yeah, Los Feliz. Los Feliz. You walk in, you would swear. It's a drag race finale that falls on the night of a Super Bowl, that falls on the night of a christening. What are we talking about? I don't understand. It's packed. Okay, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
People go there at like 5.30 and start getting seats. They're screaming. For what? Survivor. I'm a survivor. Wait, for the show?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Bunch of nuns. Like, yes, these people are there. I don't think you. Like, it's the Hunger Games. Like, their children are in the Hunger Games. They're there watching like – It's like must-see TV plus the end of MASH plus the finale Sopranos plus the finale of Lost plus the Super Bowl plus Drag Race plus the moon landing. Right. And they watch it in gay bars.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And in reality TV, you only get one or two details about each person. So you're like, oh, so-and-so is playing because she has her kids. And so-and-so is really religious. And so they start rooting for that and they're not even sure about their names. So they're like, oh, I fucking hate that guy who drives that truck. Like they take the one detail they know about the person.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Fuck that one-legged bitch. Fuck that soccer mom bitch with the short hair, you know. And these people are just, you know, crawling through dirt, scaling walls. They, they told me somebody, I said, I know that they used to get rice for food, but now someone told me they get 200 calories a day if they can't find anything else.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And they were all telling me it's early in the season and then you get a glow up. They said all of them get really tan and like fit. So you're kind of watching the, the OG, it's the OG, the swan. It's like, yeah, it's the swan, the dehydrated swan. The dehydrated swine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
if she could just sing like that if she could just write music like that if she could just play piano like that if she could just dance you'd be like love i love any of that yeah but she does it all she does at the same time in the multiple choice question of talent r.e lady gaga It's all of the above. Girl, Stephanie showed up and showed out. She does. She continues.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
So I'm there watching and people are screaming, screaming for these like granola people. Just nobody. Like writing names and saying like, Sade, I didn't like you or whatever, you know. I'm so fascinated by that. They live for it. 46 seasons now or something? And mama, they're not bopping or bumping or fucking or sucking or slithering on each other. Not at all. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Sia used to watch it and pick up the phone and call the producer and be like, I liked them. The person who lost, let's give them money. Love that. The Hunger Games. Oh my God. It's like, it's like sending, it's like putting money in the commissary of a jailer. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Damn. So I went to that and I, you know, one thing led to another. One drink is four drinks. And then I came home and took the edible and then smoked the weed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And then fired up the pookie and had people run train on you all night. So then it's like 1.30. I'm trying to play PlayStation. I'm like, one eye open. Yeah. The survivor. Because I had to be here at noon. So I was like, my one day off. And this is what happens when I start to get overworked. Okay. When I get one morning off, I freak out. What do you mean? I stay up too late. Oh, you go hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I get a pizza. You work hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
35.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Starting Solid Pink Disco this weekend.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Toronto and Austin. Toronto and Austin. That's Canada. North America. Oh, I thought you said America. Oh, you said North America. I'm sorry. I don't want to gaslight you any more than I already have. I did mean North America. It's the only Canadian date is Toronto. Love Toronto. Is it Toronto or Toronto? Who cares? I don't know. You know that shit's like a 40-minute flight from Milwaukee?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
We're almost in Canada. Sweetie. Sweetie. If you have a hard stream of piss, you can hit Canada.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Hard stream of piss coming out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I don't think I would do that because it is outside and I think I would be ogled. I pee in the yard every day. Now, what are we talking about? You go outside. I pick a tree. I pick a bush. I pee. You go down on a forest and lift a leg? No, I just stand. I pull the pants down to the ankles. I play on my phone while I just pee in the grass. How about this one?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I was in the bathroom right just not 50 feet from here. I was standing up. You pulled out your cock. I pulled out my cock. I pulled my pants and panties all the way down to the ankles. And then I put my hands on the wall like I was being frisked at a prison, a women's prison. And then I just... I did hands-free pee-pee into the toilet. And it was remarkably...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
aim what do you call that it was a bullseye love yeah i just thought that was really interesting and i needed to share that yeah i think it's weird to pull the pants all the way down in a in a urinal definitely a lot of twitter porn is is in bathrooms mama let me tell you something girl everybody's fucking and sucking at the golden corral in the handicap stall i get it i understand it i can see people are horny listen people are horny all the time
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
That's a reality, right? That's a reality. People are horny all the time. Many men, many gay men especially, or just many men are horny all day long. They're jerking off. They're jerking off. They're having sex. They're having sex. They're doing oral. Yeah. They're doing butt licking. Yeah. They're doing, you know, types of grooming to prepare.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
You were born this way, faggot. No matter. You could be from Ghent, Belgium or from the continent of Africa. Maybe whether you're from Brussels or whether you're from Cairo, you better get that pride flag, bitch. You could be one of those. Well, the thing is. You could be from Santa Barbara. Or you could be... Well, I mean, not... Orient, as it refers to people, is not exactly politically correct.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's either you're having sex or you're preparing for the sex. Sweetie, or recovering from the sex. Right. You know, refractory periods, but still. Getting hot to have more sex with hotter people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Thanks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Cooling down in order to heat back up. But at the airport, for some reason, me personally, it's not an erogenous zone. It's not an erotic arena. Everybody's fucking at the airport. I get it. Everybody's open grinder at the airport. Well, here's the thing. Imagine for the average Tom, Dick, and Harry. They don't travel for work every week. The airport is an exotic experience for them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's huge for them. Yeah, huge. No, honestly. Do you know how much I laugh when we travel with someone and they're like, well, we depart Friday, so it's Monday. We should probably show up on Wednesday. I started packing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's crazy. My rule, I think I've said it before, is that for every day you're gone, it's a half an hour of packing. So if you're gone for five days, you can do like about two hours of packing twice. Are you out of your mind? No, but two hours before you leave. My personal bag, not my drag. Pack that shit in 15 minutes. Oh, but yeah, you're advanced level Zelda.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I'm on that type of shit you wouldn't understand. Mama, you're on Mortal Kombat 15. Also, I wear the same 5s, 10 outfits to the airports and to the shows because... I'm doing Sega Genesis, left to right. 5 a.m. when we're going to the airport, I like a top and bottom matching set. I'm not trying to serve the girls at the airport. I'm not trying to... My travel looks. We're not doing all that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
No, we're not doing all that. You know, I've brought I am quite I am surprised, shocked, pleasantly so that the silicone lubricant that I've sometimes not often pack on my in my toiletry bag that I check has not exploded and ruined every other thing in that fucking suitcase because that is a that's a ticking time bomb.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
silicone lubricant yeah that will ruin all your clothes it will ruin everything it will ruin my reputation yeah when that nasty slimy bag comes across on um the conveyor belt that has like infected other people's bags with my horrible shameful lubricant You know? Yeah. It's so embarrassing. Remember what happened to your nephew? Yes. He died on the conveyor belt. No, no, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
What could have happened? Remember there was like lube on the floor and you were like, shit. No, I was injured. But if he had been there. How do you explain that? Death. Death. I'd be like, Dan, your son died because I'm gay. You know what I mean? Right. And that would have been true. She could make another one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
yeah he had a vasectomy it's so expensive to get babies wait wait wait can i show you my two nephews really quick sure because they're so cute they're so fucking cute my god um my sister just had another baby and she is the best person in the world um and catch these little fuckers Oh, my God. So on the right, we have Owen, who's the older one, and then Benjamin is the newbie. Oh, my God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Aren't they so fucking precious? He really looks newborn. Newborn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
They're so precious. Preciousangels.com. Very cute. Yeah. And the other one is Graham, right? No, Graham is my brother's kid. Oh, right, right, right. Owen and Benjamin. You got three nephews? I sure the fuck do. Look at this bitch. Holy shit. Mama, this is what I look like. Why is it happening? Why are all my nephews showing up like me? Mama. Is what you look like. Sweetie. Darling.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
He's got the beginning of a nice set of teeth, too. He's really copping your style. Toe head with nice teeth? That's my jam. Stop reheating my nachos. Stop reheating my nachos. One last one. Look at the joy. Look at the fucking joy of that bitch. It's hard to get a kid. I, um...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
it's hard to get it's expensive if you can't have one it's really hard to wrangle one catch a falling star and put it in your pocket that's your little baby and stuff it in your pocketbook baby go to target and if you have a kid at target look to your left look to your right there's a 100% chance that I have a fishing pole with a suction cup on it and I'm trying to on the top of that kid's head there's another 100% chance I'm driving a popemobile soundproof and I go a vacuum suck your child into it and then I speed down the freeway hell yeah yeah
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I said, hell yeah, brother. Get me to God's country.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
God, what are they doing? They're doing crazy, wonderful God stuff in God's country. God-fearing country. Poor went out for Morgan Wallen. Poor went out for Lebanon. For Beyonce, for Gaga, Morgan Wallen. Wait, very last thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Tickets so high, I can't go to the show. So funny. So funny. Did you see Kid Rock at the White House? Mama, I don't need to see all that. In drag, basically. Looking like a pinata of Uncle Sam. That's a generous description. Yeah, a meth, a pookie Uncle Sam as a pinata. Girl. Filled with pookies. Pinatas are better made and I'm allowed to hit it with a stick.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Right. Rugs are oriental, let's say. It's ironically... Yeah. Well... Yeah. I mean, there's other... When I use the word orient, I feel like there's other three syllable words that describe a nationality, big swaths of them. Sure. Well, you know, she's not coming on our pod, so she hasn't asked. She hasn't made an effort. Wait, are you aware of this?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
That's an offense to pinatas, I would say. Girl, absolutely. Hornet's nest full of meth. You know what I just can't with anymore? What kind of phrase is it where it's like, what do you call it, like expletive or whatever, where it's like, the greatest, the greatest there ever was, everyone's been saying. Hyperbole, hyperbolic.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
The greatest ever was, even greater than everyone's been saying, a lot of people have been saying. These sort of just nothings have to be, we have to purge it, we have to leave them in the spiritual realm. Well, good luck, miss, because that is half of Trump's vocabulary. He's like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
you know a few months later people are loving it so that's kind of the deal here yeah it's like it's like are you selling hermit crabs at a seven mile fair bitch i do not sound like i don't want to buy your 7-eleven word salad you sound like like for like you're telling me about some puppies in the back of your truck yeah they all got their shots like you know like the planes like you know you go through periods but the planes don't work and then they go through periods where they work so you know it just sort of happens i'm like what girl they didn't work the other day when we were in that wormhole sweetie well watch out for the wormholes
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
pouring out for the wormhole we'll see you next time you
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
The proliferation of A-list celebs on like, I don't know what the term is, like not super duper popular, like podcasts, like love it. I love it too. But it's like, like Las Culturistas, for example. I mean, I guess that is a, that's pretty popular, isn't it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Well, I mean, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like the chicken shop girl. She's got a huge Ackman. Yeah. You know? Yeah. A huge Ackman. A huge acme. This morning I had a piece of wheat toast with butter. Then I had three eggs and two fake sausage patties for breakfast. Fake as in they weren't there or they were fried? You blow an ass. Did you blow ass? How do we prepare the eggs?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Well, lately I want, for a while I was doing a lot of putting like whipping them up and adding stuff. And lately I've just wanted salt and pepper. Like butter in the pan and just flip, flip. That's it. What do you call that? Is that sunny side up? No, and I don't like runny. So I pop the yolk and pop the yolk and tell the joke. Miss Stinky McGee coming through with the poke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It doesn't matter if you're eating eggs or you're from Vietnam. Doesn't matter if you're Catholic or something, not Catholic. There you go. That actually discovers everybody. Oh my God. Wait, how do you prepare that? What's the, what is the, the, what is it? Scrambled over easy over medium? I think it's over hard. Over hard. Over suggests you're flipping. Okay. Hard suggests you pop the yolk.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I didn't know that. What about a poached egg? What do you do? Don't know how to do it. I heard you can do it in the microwave. What about eggs Florentine? Don't know what it is. Okay. You could either be from Florence or you could be Florence Nightingale. Well, I watched that TikTok of Lavina, the Amish girl. And she said, you know, she's like, I'm going to show you guys how to. Cook an egg.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And she was like, an Amish approach to cooking an egg, you got to use a lot of butter. And I started doing it. It's incredible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, of course you do. What else are you going to use? I used to put some butter just in the stick. But now I've been doing more to make it taste good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, butter's fabulous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Who knew butter makes food taste good? You ever try ghee? G-H-E-E. It's a gorgeous butter from India. It doesn't matter if you're Indian or you're... Something else. Gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever tried ghee, honestly? Don't know what it is. Oh, it's like. Isn't it like a. It's, I think it's falsely called, falsely referred to as clarified butter. It's a very like. Who would play her?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Great question. Caramel would play her, honestly. Miss Caramel 1999. Miss Werther's Original Light. It has almost a caramel quality to it. It's a very dense. Caramel quality is not a bad drink name.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
quality in champagne dreams caramel quality in champagne catalog what is it what is it it's oh champagne catalog i love that it's what is it it's uh caviar wishes and in champagne dreams and caviar wishes i think it's black white beige chola descent yeah you're left you're lesbian you're not lesbian I'm at the event. We need to stop labeling people. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Let people eat pussy and not identify as a lesbian. I love it. You know, I feel like as gay people, we try to qualify people's gayness. Girl, if you're the type of gay guy who only likes your dick sucked... That's fine. And you don't want to say you're gay. I'm not like up in arms about it. No, I don't think I'm not either. I don't let you live. It's nobody's business. Like it's nobody's business.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And also don't vote for fucked up shit. Well, that's a different issue though. I hate when people are like, Oh, a straight guy slept with you. Well, is he straight then? I'm like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
He says. Yeah, that's what he describes himself. What am I going to say? No, I know the truth about him, the stranger that I met on Sniffies. Right. I don't know. I mean, it's like people qualifying like you're not a real Catholic or you're not a real, you know. Now that's funky. Now that's funky. That's funky and fun. Like, you're not a real Catholic because you had an abortion. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
You're not a real Catholic because you used a condom. Boop. I just am really, the infighting, the qualifying, the, you know. Yeah. People deciding that they are the judge, jury, executioner of someone's gayness. Yeah. I'm like, maybe that person's basically straight, but once in a while she sleeps with a girl. Sweetie. Let her live. Thank you. I sleep on the floor sometimes. Right. Boop.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
That doesn't make me like a crazy person. It helps my arthritis. Yeah, no, sometimes it's really like, you just need a good old hard level out. You do. I told my rheumatologist, I said, I get this strong urge to sleep on the floor. Sometimes it's the only thing that helps my back. You got a nice rug?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
She said that's in the textbook for arthritis. Love it. It's like, if you have an urge to sleep on the floor, I said, well, I love it. Am I a floor fan?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I was born on the floor. The reason I brought you here today was to talk to you about You want to raise awareness? How are these faggots going to obtain these Beyonce and Lady Gaga tickets? How are these faggots going to persevere? I really like that Cowboy Carter shit. And I really like that Mayhem shit. But I don't think I'm willing to die for it. Sweetie, let me tell you something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I'm not a huge, Beyonce is definitely not in my top five artists, you know, because they're all like irrelevant, bizarre Russian artists from the 2000s. Beyonce would be complimented.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Thank God that person with no taste doesn't like me. Yeah, I am at a loss because I saw the Renaissance movie. all three hours of it. And that show is electrifying. That show is truly electrifying. I mean, she really pulled that pussy out and she put it in the wind for three hours. And so, and I think that you really did get a wonderful kind of experience no matter where you were sat.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
However, I am not into this country stuff. I'm not into this cowboy kind of do-si-do, line dancing, yada, yada, yada. So I would not be attending this concert, but I am shocked. You're going to see Morgan Wallen. Hello? Yes. Take me to God's country. Oh my God. Did you see? I sure fucking did. Did you see? Like, take me to God's country. God's on a private jet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Girl, did you see what I put on Instagram today? Salted the earth. Somebody put, take me to God's country. It's a screenshot of our two chairs on a green screen. Yes! It's so wild. It's so awesome. Imagine going to Saturday Night Live. I don't know Morgan Wallen. I don't care to meet him. But imagine going and not just doing your job, which is to just wave to your fans for 10 seconds.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Revel in the exhilaration of doing this with these people. It's a huge opportunity. You could have a different political view and just say, thank you for having me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I'm not going down to Mississippi. Yeah, go on the funny conservative programs. Good luck finding one, faggot. Okay. I mean, I don't go down to Gatorville and do my drag on a swamp, a swamp boat. I should. You know what I mean? I'm not going down the Grand Ole Opry. Lana Del Rey is going down there and she's marrying people. But she's Miss Tractor 1999. That's her jam now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
She's covering all that base. Maybe she's not on a tractor. She's living her water boy life. Oh, she's a foosball. She totally is. What are the boats with the oscillating fan on the back? That's the swamp boat. It's the... She's on the swamp boat.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Long, white chiffon. Caught in the thing. Head chopped off immediately. Photographed. Photographed by Chuck. Airboat. Hard nipples. Airboat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looks fun, though. Looks super fun. Well, no, the mosquitoes and all the humidity, not so much fun. I've never been to the proper... What would you call that, though? Bayou? Yeah. No, like the... Swamp. The glades.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I've never really seen that. Like in Florida. Yeah, I bet it's cool, but the heat. The heat and the bugs is too much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Bugtina, yeah. Let me tell you about Los Angeles. I got a massage last week in my backyard with no bug tent, no nothing, no deet, no citronella candles, no nothing, no way. Skin untouched by Miss Bugalina. 90 minute massage. No bug bites. Love it. There are no bugs in LA because they, they, they smell the air and they go, we're not, we're not dumb people. We're leaving.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
They live in San, they live in, they live in San Diego. They're Lebanese. They're Orient. They're living. They have little, um, they have subsidized housing in Oceanside. They're good. They're going on Vista Del Mar. There's so many places in California. I've never been. Redondo. No. Manhattan? I've never been to wine country. Northern California to me is such a mystery.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Oh, but you said in California. I'm sorry. Okay, what about in LA though? Or in Southern California, have you been to Manhattan Beach? Redondo Beach? Palos Verdes? I went to the gay one. That's Ginger Rogers. She certainly was not there, so they need to work on the advertising. Well, no, I think it may be something else kind of Rogers, but they've dubbed it Ginger Rogers because it's that one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Oh, it's Will Rogers. Will Rogers. Yeah, we say Ginger Rogers. Yeah. And, you know, I've gone down there and I never see, like, the cock sucking. I walk up to these people in their little towels listening to Lady Gaga.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And I go, are you going to shuck his cock?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Are you Lebanese? Are you Orient? Well, then prove it. You need to get down there and gobble that chode, honey. You need to... Press that button. I'm not here to swim. Although, do you remember one time I went there? This is like last year. I remember I went there and I was like, You know, feeling very Caucasian beach whale tea. Caucasian beach whale tea? That's what I was really feeling.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Abracadabra shabadubaba shabalulala kadabadudada.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Fat and white? Yeah, feeling sunburned, feeling unattractive, feeling bald, right? Got my free sunglasses on that say Tito's. Shout out to Tito's. Work Tito's. Hungover today, by the way. Thank you, Tito's. And I look to my left and fucking, I know we talked about this, fucking Gigi coming out of the water and throwing her hair back in. In a two-piece swimsuit. A flagrant display of beauty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And I'm like, oh, Gigi. Gigi. I think it took her 17 minutes to realize, oh. Oh, that's not a beached whale? That's not someone cat-calling me. This is a friend or family member. You know? It's fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I mean, I love when a dog gets out of the water. You don't see that too much. You don't see it too much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And it's truly breathtaking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And she really gave. She cheated out to me as if I was about to take a photo. I think when you're a real model like that, every moment is an opportunity. Yeah, they're like... Hello, today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by BetterHelp. I would like to be vulnerable for a moment.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Why not? Exactly. Transgender life.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I have found that now that I'm so much happier and I feel great, I have been skimping on my talk therapy and I find that if I skimp on that, it manifests in my body. It's almost like my arthritis and my sleep and my body and the way I eat, my attitude all starts to tell me that I have been like skipping leg day mentally, if that makes sense.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users' phone numbers, emails, and social security numbers, delivering real-time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for free when you visit aura.com slash defense. That's aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's A-U-R-A dot com slash defense.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
It's very tiptoe.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I got wigs and teeth shoes in the back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Two bags of blue chips, gone. Salsa, gone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
And my neighbors and I, we know exactly what we're doing at every time of the day. Because we can hear each other like that. Yeah, it sucks. So when we fled to the Queen Mary, I was like, please, God, burn this condo down and let me get a couple nights on this ghost ship all to myself, privacy, so I can jerk it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I thought it was a dog show on the Queen Mary girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
No, I thought it was a Queen Harry kettle club.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
She was lovely. She said, just so you know, the rooms are extremely thin wall.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Shut up, Becky.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
The whole show is called Love Pink. Love comma pink. Love Pink. Wait, wait. We got to pour one out for the homie. What happened? David Lynch died.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Sweetie, the Four Seasons kind of costs you $80 a day to get online.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
$75.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Why am I Googling how to turn my bedroom into a recording studio where I record nothing?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
It's hairy out there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
At the home. Yeah. And I, for, you know, for about three minutes, I lived downtown and I had a cement walls. Great for a tweaker because you can scream all day and nobody hears you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
But now I'm wistfully recalling that or reminiscing about that shitty place because of the privacy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Um, well, it wasn't so much what I didn't like about it. It was that I made some, so I, in the real estate department, I've made every single bad decision you can possibly make.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I housed all them donuts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
It's just not a Range Rover.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
No, here's the thing is, again, if there's a large purchase, I will fuck it up. Here's how I did that. I went online on CarMax and bought a car, sight unseen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
And then 10 seconds after I drive it off the lot, almost get into a full car wreck. That's right. So this car that I don't particularly care for, whatever. Lexus. No, no, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
However, it's actually good. Like, I... I know about movies, okay?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
So I thought, I was like, oh my gosh, you know what? I'm such a ninny. I signed up for two separate auto insurances. I got to figure out which one to cancel. So I call Progressive. They're like, yeah, you don't have an account with us, ho. I was like, okay, so it must be Allstate. I call Allstate. I'm like, yeah, we have no record of your account because it's been in collections since October.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Okay. I think you owe about $2,600 and you're going to have to go through the collection agencies in order to get your policy reinstated. Thank you very much and have a lovely day. Click. Damn. Yeah. So now I get to call the collection people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. She's amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Wait, wait, wait, sweetie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
We're not done with Amelia Perez. So just a little button, a little button on Miss Perez. I know that award shows are political.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
You know, there have been many upsets, many flops, many flubs in the awards show history. That is all well known. And it's not always the best film that wins or the best performance, you know, that we all know. This movie, this film, she's got no business up in that award system. She got no business. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Herbie Too Fully Loaded, released on Blu-ray recently, that should have been up for Best Musical. Right. It's from like 20 years ago. Doesn't matter.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Property taxes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
2,100.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
20.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
We got honeycomb ceilings.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I don't know what they're doing. Let's see what Georgia Washington has to say about it. They slip them a one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
She's got to know. She's got to know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
No, I mean, and I, as much as we love to talk, I, I don't think it's funny. It's not funny when anybody loses their house.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, my friend Ethan, his sister's a huge fan of mine. Palisades, gone, nothing, boop, all of it. All their dead mom stuff, gone. It's just like so sad. And meanwhile, I'm hoping and praying that those fire lick every bit of my honeycomb walls so I can just move on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Everyone should go. Well, you know, like clockwork today, we had the lovely, I was so glad I was at home to witness it. Whenever the leaf blower comes, it sets off the fire alarm. I hate that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I will say this about Amelia Perez, which I have watched twice against my will. At this point. I watched it on Christmas. I know we've already talked about this. Watched it on Christmas. I could not believe how spectacularly bad it was. Not bad in a showgirls kind of campy bad way.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
It's never.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
They were like baldy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Okay, we're going to talk about pieces because we're going to get some. Who is we? Me and you. Why? Because David Lynch died at 78 with a full head of luscious, gorgeous hair. Do you really miss the hair? No, but I want a piece.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
They are all talented actors. Yes, they are. Of course they are. This movie is the biggest stinker in recent memory.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
They glue the shit out of his scalp. They take this like strands of yaki hair. They glue that shit on and then they give him the only fucking fade.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
She's ripped, cut into.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
She looks incredible. I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Shut up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Oh, they've got it all. They got it all. First of all, they have hardly, this is a huge generalization that is patently untrue, but I'm going to say it anyways. I've, you know, Jennifer Z and Jennifer Alpha, they like, they don't have nearly enough, like nearly as much sexual hangups. They're just gay. Bloop.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I mean, of course, I'm sure they have total, they have other anxieties, whatever, but it's my limited interaction with, you know, people who are 22 to 27, let's say. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
So what now?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
It's like, I forgot a bagel at the start. I'll go back tomorrow. No big deal. I thought you were going to say like, you have to take it next month or next year.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
The safety features.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
The safety features.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Well, somebody was telling me, David Mason was telling me that, you know, COVID really, really, really affected car manufacturing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Because those claws are going to grow and they're going to scratch. Well, they're not long enough. That French fucks. Oh, God. Jacques Odiard. Here's the really distressing part. This is a project that is loaded with talent. Selena Gomez, Carlos Sofia. I forget what her name is. Sorry. Zoe Saldana. The choreographer, Damien Joulet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Right, right, right, right, right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
How many... Greywater.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Mama, she's got support.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so final thoughts. Amelia Perez, we got some explaining to do. My apologies to Carlos Sofia Garcon. I don't know what, that is not her name.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, listen, I would like to go on record and please this is sincere. I don't mean any disrespect to the talents of these actors. I do, however, wish this director a very bad day. And I hope that he does not win any awards.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
It's a government agency. They're on their own time. I love it. Like at the post office. Oh, I love this. Went to the post office the other day, waiting for about three days, three and a half days. And then I get to the, I get to the counter and they're like, close it right in my face. I was like, work, work deep or don't work. That pisses me off. Cunty, love that shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
You have a package?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
It's really awful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Thank you. all for free when you visit aura.com slash defense that's aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones that's a u r a dot com slash defense certain terms apply so be sure to check the site for details
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, and I... Listen, I... We... I sat... Me and three other people on Christmas Day sat through all two hours and change of this fucking movie. We ended up doing dishes by the end because it was just too much. But it was... I gave them the CliffsNotes last night. The only camp...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
moment was of course the bangkok sex change musical the sex change musical yes very nice to meet you i wondered about sex change operation from man to woman a woman to man man to woman from penis to vagina would you like a phalloplasty yes would you like a mammoplasty yes that was so crazy so crazy but
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I want to see Cynthia Erivo watch that clip as it wins an Oscar for best whatever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
No, no, no, no, no. No, culturally and my gripes with this movie have nothing to do with Mexico, with trans identities. No. None of that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I may not be a director.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Some news outlet said, Amelia Perez is bad. Why is it winning so many awards? And I was like, that's right. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Because everybody in the comments was like, actually, it's amazing. I was like, oh. Macy and Theta have, they are so funny in their discussion. Of course.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I was so excited to see it. On paper, I was like, what? It sounds outrageous, ridiculous, too wild to be true. And then you realize that the most outrageous, the most insane plot...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
And then that's that horrible parade that was filmed by like a BBC intern at the end.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
There was no artistry to this movie. It was rotting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
No, I, yeah, it's, I mean, it's truly breathtakingly horrible and I'm not a huge fan of musicals, but I would rather see Wicked. I'd rather play Wicked every minute of the rest of my life.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I just, music, musicals to me are skew corny. So, but this was something else.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
You talked to Cynthia Erivo?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
That doesn't sound like me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
I'll catch it on streaming. Miss Cynthia loves the girls.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
this podcast is brought to you by aura imagine waking up to find your bank account drained bills for loans you never took out a warrant for your arrest all because someone committed a crime in your name it sounds like a nightmare but for millions of people each year it's reality by the time you get that breach notification email the damage is done
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
your identity stolen, your financial future at risk, and the company that lost your data, they'll just apologize and move on. This can all sound really scary, which is why I'm so glad we're partnering with Aura. Hackers don't wait, so why should you? Aura monitors the dark web 24-7 for your phone number, email, and social security number.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
If Aura detects your info, you'll get an instant alert so you can act before the damage is done. Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance and a US-based fraud resolution team that works around the clock to shut down fraud fast and get your life back on track.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. all for free when you visit aura.com slash defense. That's aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's A-U-R-A dot com slash defense.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Andrew Yang is completely obsessed with me watching baby girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
You want to be sitting home in the wig.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Oh, is that the Hashi? It's Anaku? This one. The Ukrainian one. Yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Dang.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
No, it's not a Quentin Tarantino movie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Am I a Krispy fan?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Yes. People starving.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Three hours long.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Black beast.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
It's one of the best ones, I think.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Oh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
I will fuck it up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
There's no break.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Get in line.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Snowball.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
For sure.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
For even more extremely low prices, visit our stores or check out the Action app. Small prices, great fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Demo Reno.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Completely.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya
Check out the spout podcast to hear famous people spout off about more than what they're famous for.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya
Enter Evolution of a Snake, the Taylor Swift podcast.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya
And I'm Madeline. We are Taylor historians who are unafraid to critique one of the most eventful pop careers in recent memory, going beyond fangirling and zeroing in on sharp, intelligent, and funny analysis.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya
Where can you find us? Subscribe to Evolution of a Snake for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're currently listening. You can also find new episodes on the Swiftologist YouTube channel.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya
34. 34.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya
I will see you at the program.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya
No, no, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya
I don't know what Jasmine Crockett is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya
Hello to the Swedish people. It is me, your local leader and hometown girl, Drixie Mattel, all the way from Stockholm, Sweden. Hello.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya
Brisee. I guess.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya
So shaky makeup, having all that color cork.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
LG 7.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
That's what I thought.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Let's take a break. Bravo, bravo, bravo. Bravo, bravo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, it's uh. This is yours.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Who's that? He does a cameo. Who's that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Are you okay?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
It's a little bit Matrix. It's a little bit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Lisa.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
I love Lisa.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Rub a lamp, bald bitch. Good luck with that, fatty. What are you going to do?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
You're kidding.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, totally. Evil Dolly Parton.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
do people know how we met we just talked about this earlier yeah we did yeah so we we met bob and i met i had just done season seven and i had known all the drag queens in the world knew about bob's work from like facebook was kind of that thing at the time yeah it was pretty big yeah and so i messaged bob i think or you messaged me i bet if we logged into our account somehow so i see it i realized so i had a honey honey box i had a roommate named honey lebronx yes
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
By the way, when you think about it, Wicked is really an animal rights movie. Yeah. I mean, the animals should be seen and not heard. Yeah. On the broader sense. We didn't even talk about Wicked yet. Oh, my God. The way you skipped over it. Well, should we do this or should we go back? Do you think that we could have been Ariana and Cynthia?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
The failed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Maybe on a good day if there's extra CG. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But it's his voice because it's a CGI goat. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. Well, I love the play and I love the musical. I can't wait to see it. You looked amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Everyone. Richard Gere.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It's awesome.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah. You know, I've never experienced being in a pod with a crazy person, so I can't relate to Monet's experience. What could that be? Yeah, I don't know. You guys, this was so meant to be.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yes. Yes. Oh, fuck off, bitch. Fuck off. I tried to get you so good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
And did not text me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Hell yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
We weren't bald for the function. I saw the picture and I thought, is it an installed unit?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But it's giving though. Yeah, it's giving. You guys, it looks like fucking hair. And can I tell you, it really is completely disguised too. I'm looking right at it. It looks perfect.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Bob and I are so booked and blessed that we're never here together, and Bob literally has a studio next to our Trixie Cosmetic whatever complex, and you were there today, and Tracy was like, did you see if Bob will do it? I was like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I love to look at RuPaul's everything. The freckles, the eyebrows, the lack thereof. The way she does her eyebrows too, they're there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah, those brows are fierce. They look good, but not too makeup-y.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I believe that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I heard it from work. Did you ever do Westy? No. You never did it? Famously never asked. That's crazy. I did Westy. I think twice. What? Mary. That's wild. A good old trace. I'm telling you, there's something about me that eight drag queens have to die that day. Like I will get in there, but it's always like a random fluke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Because you're going to do it and it's going to be good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
You filled in for me also when I had my other mentee be, and you went into that music festival. Didn't you do outside lands?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, did my appendix explode? What happened?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Not really. Yeah. Not really. It's hard. And when you've ever done, if you've ever done a show where you have ears and you have breaks to do standup, you almost have to pull it out or you can't hear them laughing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It was in time with music.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah. Sometimes when I play with the band and we played a click, the ears will be like intro two, three, four. They'll like, there's a voice that clicks in and be like verse one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But when you had 40 years of practice, I mean, I saw you guys in Austin and I had that brief cameo on the show and,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It did?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It was a mane. Huge hair. It was giant. That show was the best show I've ever seen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I was a fan of Madonna's, the guitar playing, the singing. live singing. I didn't expect it to be so much live singing. It was amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yes. Andrews. Andrews. She was so amazing. I left being like, wow, I just saw the goat. And also, as I was watching, I was like, she is also doing the medium that she kind of invented. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
There's this one Madonna anecdote from Truth or Dare where she goes like, do something else. Do my brows. I say that all the time. Do something else to my brows. Because the makeup artist is trying to do her lips while she's talking. She's like, do something else. Do my brows.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I remember that. They're like wearing her outfits.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
We like to hold the episodes until someone dies and then the views spike.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
By the way, somebody who looks like him has probably never heard that in their life. And he's stunned.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I think it's funny. I mean, if you guys have followed...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
you know bob or i or drag race or all that what you don't understand is like bob used to do vogue as like one of his go-to lip sync numbers so do you go from like doing vogue at mickey's or industry look how beautiful this man is oh my god i would say i'd like to see his face she's i don't want to see his face which but for artistic purposes it actually did make look how pretty gorge oh gorgeous i think i saw him in the video of you dancing to my um
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yes, yes, yes. Why do you love that so much?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It's like a jazz run too. It's very stupid.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Well, well, well. You guys, Bob just said she wants to get a Stanley. This is the Ken Stanley. I'm going to tell you, you put ice in it, it's three days later, that ice is still fucking in there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I always think that you were like, a great poet once said, step into the plate.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But I thought you were making fun of me and then when I heard you rap it, I was like, oh, the problem wasn't the rap, it was the person doing it. You're a great lyricist.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
At Kesha's show?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah, at concerts. I was like, people cry all the time at Kesha?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I was crying. No, I don't think that's... I was so happy for her. I don't think that that's crazy. I have a hard time crying sometimes at genuine moments, but when it comes to film, I just am a easy, like... You know when someone doesn't have sex much and so if you even bump into them, they come? That's me emotionally.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Because I don't normally cry, but in a movie, I feel safe because it's all fake. So then I cry.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, MJ Rodriguez. I never knew what the MJ was for. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Wow. You know what I love about your name? You can say, if I said, hi, I'm Trixie Mattel, the drag queen. That sounds insane. But your name is Bob the drag queen. Bob the drag queen. So it's normal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Do you like having your tour buses outside? It's wrapped. Do you like that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I don't want people to know where I am. Our fans are different. Well, your fans, yes. Kati and I's fans on tour? Oh, no, you would never. No, they've gotten on the bus. On Kati's bus, one time someone, you know about this, someone just got on and walked on, and she did it so confidently, no one stopped her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I have a feeling. He doesn't like to get political, and I don't really either, but you're so smart. What do you think is really going to happen?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
No, no, no, no. You can, you definitely can because Barbie sent me all those Barbie Stanleys and I got like nine of them. So you have to take it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, that would have been nice. Yeah. It was nice until, until I lost it. Well, we have Barbie and the Rockers, which is purple. Otherwise, the Black Barbies too. How much have you left in hotel rooms? How much time do we have? Two watches, Apple watches. So upsetting. And probably two iPads. Not to mention every type of self-care. You know what the killer?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah, it's pretty bleak. I know we have to be positive, but sometimes I'm also like, this is bleak. It's bleak. But I'm not moving. I refuse. I'm not fucking moving either. I'm sorry. Listen, I know that I'm a rich white man, and my level of threat here is not high as some people's. I'm not fucking moving, and also I'm not going to stop cross-dressing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I don't care how fucking illegal they make it. What I really worry about, Bob, is I worry that drag and YouTube and podcasts and stuff will be blocked. They'll put it down to the state level. And like in Kentucky, you won't be able to watch Bald and the Beautiful or Sibling Rebel. You won't be able to find it on YouTube. Because they'll flag it as porn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
You already can't watch porn in these states, some of these states. Like Pornhub does not show up in like Sunsea. What? Yes. But I think that could happen to drag. And then what? Like those of us who make money doing this and people work with us and make money, certain parts of the country can't watch us.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
There's 47 people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But also like young gay people where that's their window into like queer culture is maybe like a pod or something. If they can't access it because they live in a state that says that's pornography, that's indoctrination, that's grooming, then what? Like, they're already removing, you know, all these key terms from, like, anything school-related.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
At any... What? Critical... We're just gonna... I guess they're just gonna, like, take the pages about slavery and just cut it out of the book and... No, they will. No, they, like, are. I'm afraid they're gonna do the same shit with, like... If you and I put on a wig to them, that means porn and grooming. So they're like, no, block that. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
When Katya and I did a show there last year, they refused to let the venue wouldn't serve alcohol because Governor... Ron DeSantis. Yeah, yeah, Ron DeSantis. Sorry. He called and said that the theater couldn't serve alcohol. So 3,000 people were there for Trixie and Katya's show. If you were at the show, you know, could not even get a beer. Because what?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
We're going to get drunk and freak out and groom kit? You're telling me that everybody at a Kid Rock concert gets drunk and acts not crazy? Newsflash.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Well, you were a kid.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Did you like Sting?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Dude Love?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Dude Love. Oh, I love that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I remember, obviously Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair. Ric Flair, yeah. I remember Sting. Sting. Papa Shango. Yeah. That's about all I remember. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Was Andre the Giant part of it? Andre the Giant. Okay, I remember them too. Yeah, Steve Austin. The Rock. Of course. China. China.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
How many Giants are there?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, I remember the big, yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I guess I do know it. That was probably your intro to drag.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I would have loved for you to be in wrestling because my dream is to watch you get the shippy daddy on TV. So this could have been huge. Would never happen. Somebody the other day said that they think boxing is fake. You think boxing is absolutely punching in the face real? I think for the most part across the board.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Girl, it's all there. Oh, the woman who cleans the room or male or whoever cleans the room after they're just at CVS. Literally. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
What do you think about Mike Tyson going to fight that Jake Paul fellow?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I saw the billboard on Sunset. I was like, this is crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah, that was crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Well, I guess when you're in wrestling, which is very physical, I mean, these people, they're in constant danger. Sorry, boxing. They're in constant danger of death.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
You just get punched in the head and you could just die. Yeah. Yeah, you could. Yeah, you could.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I mean, remember the movie... Rocky? Simon Birch? Do you remember Simon Birch? What is that? Okay, it's this movie about this boy and the boy's mom is at the Little League game and a foul ball goes in the air and hits the mom in the temple and she dies. That's not boxing. But I'm just saying it's a slight blow to the head, dead.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Rocky. Oh, I've not seen it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, I know him from Flavor Flav.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
The problem is you have to understand like I grew up somewhere so remote that we didn't even have local like channels. So the movies we had were whatever like VHSs we ripped off of like cable. Would you ever write a memoir?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
That's nice.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Well, I do feel like when people talk about, especially in LA, like people talk about like being poor. I'm always like, that's such a, I'm like, poor in what way? Poor like you only had one sibling in your family could go to private school?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Can I tell you what poor people love to do though? And I know this because I came from it. They love to be like, we're not going to the dentist, but we will be splurging on that cable. You know what I mean? Like sometimes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I hate typing. I wrote two books and this is crazy. This is crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Are you lying?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
No, you've talked about doing this as a live play.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Shut the fuck up. You really wrote this. Yeah. Harriet Tubman Live in Concert, a novel, Bob the Drag Queen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I was going to say, I need you to know that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Ladies and gentlemen, Sebaceous Film. She's on Dracula. I thought of a good drag name the other day. Annie Publicity.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I'm sick of it. The overachieving bullshit. And when I'm sick of the overachieving, you know it's bad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I had just done Drag Race 2016. I came over to your apartment in New York.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It was your apartment with like the bunk bed. It was like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Drag everywhere. And there was a little get ready station. And I was getting ready for. I think I had a party with Frankie Sharp.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
And you had a party. You had your weekly show. Oh right. Industry. Yeah. And I was getting in drag with you. And so like our first time meeting. I went to her house. And we got in get drag together. Which was such like a. fun, organic way to get to know each other.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Violet was up there in her tiara spinning on like a aerial thing. And I was in the back out of drag selling my t-shirts with your cigar box. Oh yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah. I sold my own merch for a long ass time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Cause I don't trust people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But I remember I was putting the big black eyeliner on and you stopped me and you're like, what kind of Batman shit are you doing right now?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But then I remember you and I were talking and you had your foundation and you were putting it on and you were like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And it was like in movies when they don't watch the road enough. I was like, when is she going to look in the fucking mirror? You were putting the makeup on, but you were like never looking in the mirror. I was like, is she going to look in the mirror?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I don't... Looking at those pictures, I don't know if there was evidence that I ever looked in the mirror at that time. I think I was... What do you think about the discourse of, you know, your makeup journey?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
At least I had too much makeup on. You were...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Absolutely. Absolutely. I had the most makeup on and went home the soonest.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah. Can I tell you how jealous I am that you just went to see Wicked? Can you tell me about it? Let me say it right now. Bob went to the premiere. She looked fucking great. I'm not going to lie. I did look pretty good. Damn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
She's so good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, my God. After All Stars 3, I remember somebody ran, Dayla told me somebody ran into her and was like, so... What are you going to do now? Almost like she quit drag. And she was like, I'm still doing it. I don't know what to tell you. Come see me and Jinx on our annual Christmas tour. Somebody came up to me in a meet and greet very recently.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
And they came to the meet and greet at my bar in Milwaukee. And they said, you're going to do great things. And I said, can't wait. Can't wait to see what that is. We're in my bar, right? Got it. I was like, beers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
barkeep bob you're uh people are well by the time this comes out people have an option to see the girls in the uk how can they see you in the uk yeah if you want to go to see the drag queen.com i'd love to get a goofy url i think they're so funny uh you can go to see the drag queen well don't get wicked.com honey i already got it you can't take that did you see what happened with that no what happened i don't know i don't want mattel to be any more mad at me than they probably already are i'm not a part of it well i want to know what happened though well
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I was like, this is free. They do. When I first got on Drag Race, Trixie Mattel dot com was owned by somebody else. And I flipped out. And one of my friends in Madison was like, I bought it for you a long time ago because I knew you would need it. Oh, that's sweet. Isn't that sweet? That's sweet. Isn't that sweet? But there are companies. I think it's at Trixie on Instagram is an account.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
And I tried to get it from them and they said, well, this account means a lot to me, like sentimentally. Just lie. And they asked for $60,000 for at Trixie on Instagram. You didn't take it? No. But I'm at Trixie on like TikTok and YouTube now because I wanted to be at Trixie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Well, I used to get banned from Grindr for catfishing and I would have to send an ID picture of myself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
No, dead ass.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It's wild that you have a license. It is. Do you have a license? I'm trying to get it. I'm trying to get it. You don't have a driver's license? What do you mean trying to get it? Well, I stopped driving at 25 because I moved to LA. You can get a makeup company, you can't get a fucking driver's license? I got to go take the test.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
You just get out of the car and you drive. Sadly, I'm better at making blush than I am at driving. So we'll see what happens. You don't seem like a good driver, to be honest. That's so true.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Well, catch Bob before I hit her with the car. I mean, I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It's nice.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Monet's such a liar. I hate that bitch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Literally.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Go see Bob. There's a woman in her prime at the height of her current state of her career and it will get bigger and bigger. But I mean, people got to see you now. I love when people go, oh, I saw you now. And like, you know, people are like, I saw you 10 years ago. Like we are approaching that point where people are like, oh, I saw your first tour.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, yeah. I'm not going to go there for my news, but I don't want to get rid of albums I put up when I was in high school. 20 years?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I'm 38. Yeah, I mean, I got Facebook in like 10th grade because it had just started. High schoolers could get it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Okay, bye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I hate to say, I like the movie more than the live show. Oh, the movie is better.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I went to see Todrick and famously walked out in the middle and he knows about it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
At the intermission. That's wild. I was like, you guys, Todrick is giving. Todrick was giving. And then the rest, I was like, these people have been doing this show. I can see it in their eyes. You said, well, I'm out. Isn't that horrible? And you know what else? I think it was a, did I buy a ticket? I think it was a free ticket. That's crazy. But Todrick knows.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But then I saw Todrick and Kinky Boots and stayed for all of that because I loved it because I love Cyndi Lauper. Come see me in Seattle. Wait, by the time this comes out, I'll already have opened for Cyndi Lauper. I'm on your shit now. Congratulations. You're out with Madonna. I'm out with Cyndi Lauper. That's amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Can I tell you, there's this one moment I think about a lot and I don't like super, you know, if I'm not doing pit stop or you're doing pit stop, I don't really always watch drag race now, but I know about this time that at drag con, RuPaul forgot Jinx's name. And if you know Jinx, you know that she thinks about that every day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
You know that Jinx every night goes to bed and is like, I can't believe you forgot my name.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
It's so fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yeah. How do you think we would do in all winners? Would we slay? You would.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But Bob, it's not. I don't want to blow smoke. I just told the last two guests, I said what's amazing about Bob is the higher the stakes, the more people are watching, the more it's a razor thin ice skate that she has to ride on in the moment, the more she delivers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
You always thrive. It's like you'll have a great show for 100 people or an incredible show for 1,000 people. It's like... You know, you're not wrong.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Someone's going to get fucking hurt.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Because I've seen you... God, I mean, I've seen you at Caroline's. I've seen you at bars. I've seen you with Monet. I've seen you really in every iteration up to Madonna even. I haven't seen this tour.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
And you're just, you're unaffected by anything like, what if I don't do well? What if this flops? You just plug in and drive it and it's perfect.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Not at all. Especially for comedy. If it's a smaller room, I was just talking to someone about this. If it's like under 300, you know they can see like your eyes and subtle nuances. And so you almost feel like really connected. You know what I'm obsessed with?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
That was so bitchy and so cunty, but it was epic. I wasn't trying to be bitchy or cunty, but I was like... You gathered. No, because... Like a chignon. Stop. Bob, I didn't gather. No, I did not. Yaki bundles all the way in the top. I gathered. Then I did like a box break. Yes, it was a full... That was so great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
But I didn't mean it that way. I just thought, wow, I'm happy to be here, but...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
he thinks that i am currently at a at a local gig rolling around on the sticky floor for wet singles he thinks that that's what i'm doing i know what y'all do and by the way i've done it and i'm not above it and i'll do it again but that's not what we're doing today you know that clip of you lip syncing at the brunch and everyone's like honey the rent must be
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Can I just say that all of these little faggots think that they're my personal accountant? Because sometimes I do something and they're like, get that coin. I'm like, are you H&R Block?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
She must have been broke. She must've been broke. No bitch. If I showed you what they paid me, bitch, you would get out there and spread your hole and let your father fuck you. Okay. So what else, bitch? And I do it for free. No, I just think it's funny because if I lip sync, people think that I have, it's like an ISIS thing. People are like, they really dragged Trixie in to do this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
And I'm like, listen, I might not be good at lip syncing, but I never said I hated it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I like it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I love lip syncing. I just, I'm not known for being the best at it, but that's kind of my brand is to be just mid at everything.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
And for a long time. Then the pit stop. Was Undone? Well, we're on break. Yeah. And then the pit stop when you weren't doing it. Breaking news. And then the pit stop when you weren't doing it. Oh, and watching. Then I like to watch. Then tour dates. Then Trixie. Like for a while, it was like. I wonder why you needed a break. Girl, it was no good. You look so good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, everybody keeps telling me how happy I look, which I think means obese. So thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I looked bad for a while. It was bad. And I haven't felt... I have like reverse body dysmorphia now because even though that unhealthy mental breakdown skinny didn't look good, that was the first time I ever felt thin. So now being back to like my normal pant size, I feel... It's hard for me to not feel...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
Oh, thank you. When I watched English Teacher, I was like, oh my God, I look like a skeleton.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
No, it was.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
They did the yellow teeth. They also did like blue and red around the eyes to make me look a little more. I'll have to take your veneers off. And that was just the old school. I made them clip them off. She's like, y'all saw these motherfuckers on season seven? Yeah. They're back in the house. I know. I think it's so funny because you want to talk about delusion.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie
I never thought I had difficult teeth. Can I please fix?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
This episode is brought to you by Rowe. As you may or may not have heard, GLP-1s are all over social media right now. Rowe now offers FDA-approved weight loss vials for much less than most auto-injector pens and all without applying insurance or savings cards. Row's formula, created by Eli Lilly, hits not one but two hormones to curb hunger, all with less nausea.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You're cross-eyed and literally like bones sticking out. So if you're trying to be really strict. Wait, are you serious? I'm dead serious. 400 calorie to 800 calories a day. Now this is what it was in 2010 when I studied it in a college class. It might be like 700 now. It might be woke now. Like now there might be actual like go for a walk. It might be different.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
But what I do like about Subway is if you are trying to lose weight, it is one of probably the best quick fast foodie options where you actually have a say. Don't add this. Yes. Use the light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You actually can drive the calories down. Totally. Depending on what you get because you can get a wrap. And there's vegetables. And if you're in the UK, they have soups. So.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Wait, quick, quick sidebar. I had a bread bowl of soup and I think that's disgusting. You told me about that. I'm sorry about that. No. A Panera one's so horny. No. The spongy wetness. It was the texture. I love the grip. I love the bread. It was the. I think it's good. Oh yeah. So the subway diet is two 400, 400 calorie, $400. If you're at school, if you're at college.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And it's two of 400 calories. And then that's how you lose weight. And then I also, I did slim fast for a while. Oh God. Which is. Just sugar. It's two slim fast shakes a day and one real meal. So breakfast or lunch or whatever, you have the 180-calorie SlimFast, and you're allowed two snacks, I think. A month. It's two snacks, and then you can have one real meal a day. I did that for a while.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
When you say one real meal, is it old country buffet, like going back three times? Because that's what I would do because I'd be so hungry. No, it's just like a normal, like a human meal. Burger, fries, and a Coke. Brown rice and vegetables. And so that's how that works.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Girl, I think we know today's sponsor is our friends at Chime and everything is getting more and more expensive, more and more expensive. Gas, cars, house, foods, Becky, Shirley, all of it. It's just, it's really, really wild. And I know you have to try to build some credit card credit in this world, but who wants to bring on credit card debt?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Also, can I just say it looks really princessy and you feel like a beautiful little girl? I mean, that's a big part of it for me. And it's clinically proven not to clog pores unlike cotton. Antibacterial, hypoallergenic, and it promotes better sleep, but it's still completely machine washable. And it's Mother's Day, and you know your mom. If I know your mom as well as I do, she loves to sleep.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
But there's a better way you can build credit with money you set aside and and avoid interest or expensive debt with Chime's Credit Builder Card. It's a secured credit card with no credit check or minimum deposit required. I'm very country, and my grandpa taught me to never buy anything unless you could afford it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And then I turned 18 and moved out, and everyone was like, yeah, that's a fun idea, but you're still probably going to need some line of credit in your life. Start building credit and everyday purchases and regular on-time payments with no annual fees, interest, or credit check. Get the Visa Credit Builder Visa credit card with Chime. No fees, no credit check.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Use it everywhere Visa credit cards are accepted. Build credit money. I like to use it with stuff like gasoline, buying flights, just like boring regular stuff. Because why not make the boring regular stuff a little more beneficial? You can also get paid up to two days early with direct deposit. And it's awesome because you can get your money sooner.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I know sometimes Friday cannot come soon enough, girls. And you can find any of the 50,000 free ATMs really close to you using the Chime app. It'll show you where they are and it's fee free. So turn your everyday purchases and on-time payments into step towards your financial goals with Chime's secure credit builder Visa credit card. Get started today at Chime.com slash bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
That's Chime.com slash bald Chime. Feels like progress. The Chime Credit Builder Visa Credit Card is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Chime checking account required to apply. Out-of-network ATM withdrawal and OTC advance fees may apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. This episode is sponsored by ZocTalk. Have you ever been to a dermatologist whose breath smells like deviled eggs and soup?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Or a dentist who asks about your recently passed aunt, but instead of letting you answer, shoves their fingers into your mouth and proceeds to tell you about his daughter's 9.7 million TikTok followers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Or an orthopedic surgeon who only has slots during the middle of the workday when you're completely tied up in the studio recording your latest Nash Pop hit single featuring Bjork on the lead flute. I think we've all been there. Booking a doctor appointment can feel just so daunting. But thanks to ZocDoc, there's no reason to delay. They make it easy to find and book a doctor who's right for you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click instantly to book an appointment. They have over 100,000 doctors from literally any specialty, including orthopedic surgeons who will check on your bionic hip at 7 p.m.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
after you're done laying down Bjork's insanely hot jazz flute solo right before the verse where you yodel rap to an ill beat from your best friend Hans, a famed glockenspiel prodigy from Berlin. You can filter for doctors who take your specific insurance, who are located nearby if you hate driving like me, or find ones with specific office hours to match your insane recording schedule.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And most importantly, you can find doctors who are highly rated by real-life verified patients. You can even see their real-time appointment openings, choose a time that works for you, and instantly book a visit with just a few clicks. Same-day appointments are also available in many cases, which is absolutely brilliant. The best part is that ZocDoc is completely free to use.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors with ease, which is why I love ZocDoc. If I can find a great doctor, so can you. And all because of ZocDoc. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash bald to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash bald. ZocDoc.com slash bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Do you want to update the girls on the black mold? What's going on? I was going to listen. You don't have to tell me what to do. I have headphones on connected to your microphone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And her hair and her skin is jacked, so let's help that lady out, okay? Voted the best love gift of 2024. It's also a good gift because, you know, it's kind of like everybody goes to sleep at night, but you don't necessarily know what size pleather miniskirt people want, so it's a great gift. Featured on Live with Kelly and Mark, The View, Oprah Daily, and Good Morning America.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You know what I'm talking about? I mean, turn the wigs around, DJ. Dina, just turn it around. For volume. Now you're a Beatle. You know what it kind of gives? It kind of gives Eileen Stritch or something. I don't know. It does. The ladies who lunch right here. Yeah. You guys, this is a pot. These are the clothes I want to be buried in. At Salt Peak Disco, we have these little boy wigs on sale.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
This is the wig to get drunken. Little boy? This is kind of like a little surfer boy wig. It's not gender. Okay, it's not gender. Hair knows no gender. Okay, fine. It's a pixie. Let me tell you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
The person who has this hair works at the Starbucks, and they make those drinks with Berber. It's a short grift. That's a short grift hair. Imagine the grift. So what's going on with the black mold? Okay, so I finally found a contractor.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
okay this guy and they went in so he had he had um got it we got leaks we got holes okay nini leaks nini leaks we got holes we got leaks we got wiki leaks we got julian assange and um um
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Okay. The deck and the roof have leaks. That is the water intrusion factor. Okay. The HOA said, you can go literally suck ass. Why don't you take all your energy and go suck your own ass? We're not going to give you a red cent. It's like, thank you so much for existing, you pieces of shit. Damn. 28 leaks later. Girl, they got you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I actually think that these contractors are feeding water into your home and then showing up being like, do you leak? Yeah. I was like, well, why do you have a hose in your hand? And why is it attached to the fire hydrant out there? I see. The HOA is hand on ass in that they have their hands on their asses all day, not doing anything else. Not helping me. Taking my $500 a month.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
and then putting it into video poker or something. Honey, the HOAs are content. My one in LA is 400, and the one in Milwaukee is 200. And let me tell you what they do. It's jack motherfucking shit. They don't do nothing. They, I guess, pay for the trash. I got legs. I got arms. I got bags. Baby, for a while, I was getting fined $2.50 a month because one of the planters on my patio was pink.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
It has to be natural colors. That's the one. $2.50 a month for like eight months. That's cunty. And I bet their correspondence was via parchment and then a carrier pigeon. It was only during COVID did I actually sit down and be like, what's this charge every month? Yeah, love that shit. Love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
It's like cable companies where you look at the bill, it's like Fierce Charge, Cunty Charge, Poopy Charge, Jared Leto Charge. Miss Diva Charge. Yeah, it's this, I went to Subway Charge. What are these charges? Large Ant in Charge. Yes, yeah. Charles in Charge Charge.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Over 3 million sold. Because you're a listener, Blissy's offering a 60-night risk-free plus an additional 30% off when you shop at Blissy.com slash baldpod. That's Blissy, B-L-I-S-S-Y dot com slash baldpod and use code baldpod to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Mm-hmm. Long story short, too late. I go out after the first day. We were working at Netflix. Come home. This just this week? Yes. It was just the other day. I came home full of fear. I was like, there's going to be some tarp situation like before with these jokers. Mama, the first signs of intelligent life on this deck. Clean, gorgeous, meticulous, neat work.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
It's going to be great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And it's going to be extraordinarily expensive. Because the insurance, I was Barbara from Florida. She was like, fuck you, fag. I'm not giving you any money. Bianca Del Rio is your insurance agent. She probably has great insurance. I know. You should get Bianca Del Rio. I bet you she would have taken care of this whole situation. I know. She would have been the best project manager.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Up at 5 a.m. Several people would have been fired already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not even involved in the project. Yeah. Hired just to get fired. So what did you do today, fag? Unless they have a good answer. Fired. I want you to do an Elon. I want you to send everybody who's worked on this project an email where they have to respond with five things they do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Can you name five cunty things about you, fierceness? Did you see that? They're trying to say that cyber trucks, you never see with two people. That was an interesting point that made this morning on somewhere. Think about it. They're trying to make vandalism to a Cybertruck or Tesla vehicle. They're calling it national terrorism. That's so dumb. Terrorism against America.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, because it's America's, it's like lighting the flag on fire. Apparently. Wow. Apparently. That's going to be the stupidest thing I've heard all day. Isn't that cunty? Yeah. why are we so dumb? It's because, because of her emails. Oh, that's right. Because of her emails. Chappaquiddick.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Because I, yeah, because her emails, because she's a woman, because this is more about Mary. I'm so horny for these videos of, um, it's so horrible to feel when I see videos of people being like, I can't believe these voting things. I think, I voted this way and I can't believe these things affected me. I'm supposed to feel bad, but I'm polishing my knobs so fucking hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And I feel bad that I'm that person because I used to have more empathy and now I'm just like, oh. It's hard to sympathize with the huffers, you know? They're huffing paint thinner all day and at the end of the day, they're wondering why I got a headache. Right. It's tough. Well, all of that, what it spells is, I was okay with this hurting someone else. Now it hurt me. Isn't that shitty?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Now there's people saying, well, you can be racist towards white people too, you know? Right. I couldn't go to the gay bar that I would have never went to. I know. What the fuck? They didn't let me go to the gay bar and kill the people. Oh. The difference is, I'm not trying to go to the hater church. They can see these titties and they can oil them up and suck on them. I don't give a shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I'm not trying to go race those cars. I'm not trying to go shoot them ducks. Race the cars? NASCAR. Oh, because are they Christian? NASCAR 500. Shit, girl. Well, it's conservative, you know? Yeah. Monster trucks. Yeah. Monster trucks are cool. I have to say, if I in my whole life ever have an opportunity to drive a monster truck, I'm taking the opportunity.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I feel like you would and should incorporate that into your drag persona. Well, in high school, my brother was really into mudding. Do you know what this is? Is it four-wheeling? No. It's where people have these like souped up trucks that are on really high, like big tires and like lift kits. Sure. And roll cages and all that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And they put the exhaust on the top instead of the back so that they can go drive through mud and puddles. Jesus. Kind of a country activity. Yeah, that seems a little country. And you get together and you drink and you stand around and you take turns driving through puddles. Love that. And it sounds dumb, but I have seen it done and it is thrilling to watch. No, I can see that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Machinery drive through mud. Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift. No, I think cars, I've been thinking about cars a lot lately. Speak on it. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I know it's a pod and sometimes the things I bring are audio clips. Hold on, I have something very important to share as well. Also, I want to see Rabid Granny so bad. If anybody's seen it, please chime in.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
The movie Rabid Granny's.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Are you looking to grow closer to Mark Wahlberg?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I knew something was happening. Get over here. Get over here. What are you doing? Are you looking to grow closer to God this Lent?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You guys, Bob the Drag Queen is here. If you're in the car, take both hands off the wheel and start clapping, please.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, Conti.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Go for it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I'll give it like a B. I think it's good. I've been working on my Robert Kennedy. It's too resonant. It's horrible. Can you do anybody political? I could do Martin Van Buren.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Millard Fillmore. Millard Fillmore. Give it up for Bob the Drag Queen. Bob the Drag Queen. You look great, by the way. Yeah, love those green gauchos. Are those gauchos? Palazzos. Palazzos. I wish I had personal style. Look at you. But he always has an outfit that communicates something. He was wearing a suit at one point. Bob always gives.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And then when I have to go to an event out of drag, I almost am more stressed out because I don't fucking have nice clothes. Totally. I don't have personal style. I'm embarrassed to ask for help. Do you have a men's bespoke tailored suit yet? They used to fit. Do you have a tailored suit made from scratch? No. Oh, you need to have one. No, I have them from H&M. No, no, God. No, no, no, no, no, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Not off the rack. I'm talking about you go to a tailor. You select the fabric. They do all your measurements. They make it. You ever see Todd? Are you out of your mind?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
This is like one of those adult people things of a certain bracket. Age? Age and wealth thing. So now you're cutting my money and calling me old. I was thinking, you old rich bastard, you need to have a bespoke tailored suit. I think bespoke and tailored is a little redundant. No, you'd like, you go get it made because off the rack, it doesn't fit your body. Off the rack fits nobody's body.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Can I say that when I'm about... 10 pounds thinner. I always fit like the stock six foot tall version.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Because I'm not too skinny, not too muscly, not too anything.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I'm just mid. Well, that's what, that's how they make manufactured clothes for the mid. I'm that middler. They split the difference, but nobody's, nobody, you know, Naomi Smalls? Well, six inch torso, eight foot legs. She probably has to have all her boy clothes made. Everything's a crop top. A church gown on her is a crop top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She is so fucking stunning.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
If I looked like her and then... She's so irregular. Yes, but she's on a pod and she's like...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Like, girl. There's no substitute for going under the knife. Just go under the knife. It's so cunty. She's so cunty. I know. Lips like this. I saw her come on the pod when I was on break, didn't she? She came in drapes. Wet. She came in eight feet tall. I was so, I was actually flabbergasted. I was like, I was like, she's so fucking pretty. Wet legs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Like she, she, she like sat down slumped and her legs went like. Yeah. Thank you for having me. Made of durable organic materials and custom-sized for your chicken's specific head circumference, these chickens will be popping out eggs five at a time. And what are you to do with so many extra eggs due to fedoras by Fabian? Launch a brand new website with Squarespace, you silly goose.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
With Design Intelligence from Squarespace, you get the amazing combination of two decades of industry-leading design expertise with cutting-edge AI technology that will unlock your strongest creative potential.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Design Intelligence empowers anyone, even technological Luddites like Fabian, to build beautiful, more personalized websites tailored to one's unique needs and craft a bespoke brand identity to use across one's entire online presence. But that's not all. Say you want to create a line of poultry-sized sequin vests to sell alongside your chicken fedoras.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You can use Squarespace payments to sell those vests and make enough money to franchise your business and retire at 50. It's the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. You can get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. Plus, you'll give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, ACH Direct Debit, Apple Pay, and Afterpay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And after you've launched, let's say you need help with marketing. Well, Squarespace has so many features to help drive sales and engage your audience with creative email campaigns that you'll be the nation's most famous chicken haberdasher in no time. So if you need a new website, go ahead and check out squarespace.com for a free trial.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com slash bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace, build it and they will come. This episode is brought to you by Rowe. As you may or may not have heard, GLP-1s are all over social media right now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You may think I'm about to make a joke, but for once in an ad read, I'm not. I personally know several people who've benefited from GLP-1s and they're no joke. Everyone thinks it's all about the weight loss and looking fabulous, but it's honestly about so much more than that. Being overweight doesn't just affect your mental health or how you look to others.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
It can be damaging to your physical health in so many different ways. Heart disease, cardiovascular issues, high blood pressure, diabetes, the list goes on and on. Roe now offers FDA-approved weight loss vials for much less than most auto-injector pens, and all without applying insurance or savings cards.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Roe's formula, created by Eli Lilly, hits not one but two hormones to curb hunger, all with less nausea. If you think a GLP-1 might be a good choice, your Roe-affiliated provider can help you understand if GLP-1s are right for you and your goals. Plus, row members have support throughout their entire journey. You can even sign up from the comfort of your home, which is massively convenient.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
There's nothing worse than having to drive halfway across the city to a fluorescent-lit waiting room just to sit in an uncomfortable chair and do what you could have done easily at home on your phone or laptop. While I haven't had the need for GLP-1s, they are the right choice for a lot of people who need help with their weight loss.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
So if you need to drop some weight and want to achieve your goals for a lower price, join the over 385,000 people who've already chosen Rho to access GLP-1s. Go to rho.co slash bald to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash bald. Go to rho.co slash safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. This episode is sponsored by Hungry Root.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, is that a whip crack? Yeah, there's whip crack. Hell yeah. Shotguns? There's camera flashes. Shotguns. There's shotguns in... I love shotguns. I love a whip crack and a shotgun. So people will know when this comes out, Vincent's going to come sing Supermodel at Coachella. Trixie Chella. They're calling it Trixie Chella. Trixie Chella.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Look, people, I'm a podcast host, entrepreneur, and part-time swimsuit model. I don't have time to go to the grocery store and spend hours upon hours preparing and cooking a meal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
If I'm not talking with Trixie on the pod about how to drive a car, trimming a new hedge fund, or standing in front of a mirror with a swimsuit on to practice my modeling, I'm figuring out how to get 15 minutes of free time to take a breath. It's precisely this insane schedule that makes me adore the 15-minute meals from Hungry Root. Hungry Root is like having a personal nutritionist.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
They take care of the stressful meal planning each week by recommending delicious recipes tailored to your tastes, nutrition preferences, and health goals. They make it easy to eat high-quality nutritious food and achieve any diet or health goals by tailoring recipes to a variety of lifestyles. from anti-inflammatory to gut-friendly, gluten-free or dairy-free, high-protein, and more.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You basically tell them about your goals and preferences, and they fill your cart with personalized recommendations that get smarter as they learn more about what you liked or didn't love. There's no high-fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, or preservatives in any of Hungry Roots' foods. And their top quality meat and seafood are free of hormones and antibiotics.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Most Hungry Roots recipes can be made in just 15 minutes or less. Last weekend, I made the XL sirloin steak fajitas and they were delicious. The grass-fed steak melted in my mouth. The seasoning was perfect. And best of all, it took me 15 minutes to cook. It gave me so much extra time that I immediately put on another swimsuit and went right back to the mirror to do the thing I truly love.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Modeling. I love Hungry Root. Take advantage of this exclusive offer. For a limited time, get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to HungryRoot.com slash bald and use code bald. That's HungryRoot.com slash bald. Code bald to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Again, that's HungryRoot.com slash bald. Code bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Well, I mean, this is, I guess, the season eight. We just had Bob. We talked to Naomi and Kim. You know, Kim has been like hitting the gym really hard. I saw her. Jim Chi. Jim Chi. I saw her. Actually, I saw both of them. She got those fuckers. Yeah. Naomi and Kim at high mat like months ago. Kim looks excellent. Kim, you look great. She told me she's been just really interested in fitness.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
She's been looking excellent. Well, she plopped her ass down right next to me in the stretching area and she is limber as hell. Yeah, she's huge. You forget how tall she is. That bitch is giant. Large people, large people. A lot of large people getting into skinny minis these days. Yeah, a lot. Well, Kim too. I mean, Kim's my sister. This isn't a sex thing. Kim has such a good shaped men's face.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
She's got this like square jaw and these high cheekbones. She's also very tall. Kim's face out of drag I just think is gorgeous. Pour one out for Kim's face. Pour one out for Kim's face. Come on, Kim's face. The mysterious face of Natalia Grace. Did she always look pretty? Did she always have that facility with makeup or was there a learning curve? Zero. She would say that she looks like shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Kim's looking like shit. She looked great. Can I tell you, I've been waiting to tell you about a party I went to. Because I think... Yeah, I went to a sex party. With that wig on. At the PetSmart. I fucked every dog. At the TLC sex party. I went to the TLC theater and I watched My 9,000 Pound Librarian.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You know. God, I need to stop. I need to stop. Getting Bangs, the real story, the untold story. Yeah. And I went to this party for guess what holiday? Um... March Madness. St. Patrick's Day. Oh, no. So I had friends from out of town and my friends from out of town were like, hey, one of our friends in L.A. is throwing her boyfriend's throwing a huge St. Patrick's Day party.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
So we asked, since we're staying with you, can we have an invite for the whole group? So we all went. Right. Me and the people. Now, where is this? It was in the valley, I believe. OK. Kind of like Valley Village. Valley Village. Valley Village. which is kind of like Burbank almost. So I go over there and we all wear green.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And I didn't know what the vibe was gonna be, I just knew that it was gonna be like a Valentine's, or like a St. Patrick's Day party. And I'd never been to an Irish-themed event. You're Irish. Yeah. I didn't know what goes on. Drunk at 11. Okay. So that was what we were doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, and you know, I love to have a drink. Of course, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Do you like to have several pints of Guinness? I don't like to get Miss Sloppy Boots because I get sick.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
But I like to ride lightning. I like to get right up to the edge of, I want to be able to get drunk enough that if I go home and have like a sandwich, I can go to bed pretty much sober. Got it. I don't want to go to bed sick. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. So I get there really fun at a house party. Few dozen people decked out green everywhere. And the host, he had his mom fly in.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
She's a hundred percent Irish. And so is the dad. She's from like County Clare. No, they're just, they had a East coast accent, but originally their, their, their lineage is all. Okay. All types of Irish food. They cooked from scratch. No, it was all meats. So I didn't have much. But I had some soup, potato soup.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And I said, well, I guess I'll just cheat and eat the potato soup with the bacon bits in it. She goes, no, we made a vegan one just in case. So I got to eat the vegan Irish soup, whatever. Top of the morning to you. What is the Irish thing? 400 calories a day. I have a little cup of soup. It's horrible. It's horrible. I have some of that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I go sit on the, sit on the patio and I'm sitting there and I don't know anyone there except the people I came with, but you know, I love to be a plus one. I feel so free when I don't have to greet anyone. Oh, sure. I don't have to be gracious host. Yeah. You can ask willy nilly. I'm taking. Yeah. And because I didn't know anyone at the party, I brought,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
a lot brought a cheese platter brought bottles of so and and then the people i go with grab the booze and i carry the booze in and it's a group of like adult older people and they're all like having brie and crackers and i'm having a brown paper bag and i think i'm about to pull out like a bespoke wine tell me why it's a giant fucking jug of tito's no one there knows me and i pull out a huge and i'm just like hey guys
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
let's get let's get pissed and they're all like kiss me I'm Irish having like a little bit of Bailey's and I'm like so I brought a trough of vodka who wants to do some keg stands right so then I go sit outside didn't get messy this guy he goes this guy next to us goes so they actually hide leprechauns at this party And then when you find them, you get extra prizes. I said, oh shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I did pick up a second gig, so I'm no longer going into financial ruin trying to do labs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You know I'm gonna love that. I love shit like that. And I appreciate the effort when throwing a party to do corny little shit like that. But okay, the question is, are they people? So the guy next to me puts on an Irish accent and starts saying like, Once upon a time at this party, they'll hide the leprechaun. And then I'm listening and I'm like, he's doing like a bit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
He's probably a comedy person. I don't know who he was. And I was entertained. I was like, cool. And then after he was done, there was a long pause. And I didn't mean it to sound this way, but you're going to love this. A long pause after he did like this whole monologue of like, and if you find it, your lucky blarney stones or pot of gold will come down upon ye. It's like a whole storyline.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And I go, thank you for telling us. But I totally meant it nice, but it came out so cunty. And the guy just burst out laughing. He goes, oh my God. He goes, that was the funniest response. He said, thank you for humoring me. And I said, I didn't mean it to sound like that. I just go, thank you for telling us. Totally. So then- Did you find any leprechauns?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
When you're drunk, I have a drink and it's strong, right? And I'm not eating a lot of the food. I didn't eat dinner. You got to remember to eat dinner. Yes. Because suddenly you're blackout. You don't know how- Mind you, don't know these people. I may be one of the drunkest people there. Are they straight? Yes. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I would like to make a version of Afterpay or Klarna. I always almost say Klarna now. It's Klarna. It's Klarna. After paying Klarna, I always, I want a version of that where you just don't, never pay. It's, it's layaway, but you just, you buy a lot of shit and then you just dip down. Do you remember, are you old enough for it to remember layaway? Yeah. Cause you know what it is? My mom would.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Patrick's Day. So gay drunk is straight hospitalized. Yes. So I'm probably a liability to everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then it's time to go look for the leprechauns. So I take off my pants. But I get really- And panties. So then they have in the backyard one of those little gardens, you know, like a box where you plant. Yes. And there's a hole dug and there's a trowel.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And I go, okay, I think that leprechaun's buried in there. But I'm drunk. So I'm also like, am I drunk digging up their gladiolas? Or their dead cat. Right. Pet cemetery. So I go to dig and this guy next to me goes, oh, I wouldn't go in there. I almost dug in there and I kind of got, they told me probably not to. And I said, oh, okay. So I walk away. I turn around.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Plus, Row members have support throughout their entire journey. You can even sign up from the comfort of your home, which is massively convenient. So if you need to drop some weight and want to achieve your goals for a lower price, join the over 385,000 people who've already chosen Row to access GLP-1s. Go to ro.co slash bald to see if you qualify. That's ro.co slash bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
This guy digs in with the trowel and finds the leprechaun. The same guy. I wouldn't do, I wouldn't do that if I were you. I was so cooked. That's incredible. That was so competitive. So then later there's another contest. They say there's an Irish dance contest. Mind you, there's like a dozen people left. Oh God. Did you dance? I ran up there and got on the ground and started doing this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I don't know any of these people. I'm not invited. I'm not invited. I get on the ground. I slam both hands and I go like this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You're like, this is a sex party. Why do I look tucked? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with the front of me? You're Ellen. So I'm doing this and then I don't win the contest. And they were straight people, so they were like, the songs that were playing were like Enya. Oh, and you're doing hip thrusts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Well, so then I go, do you want me to, I'm a DJ, confident, so I go up to the host, I go, do you want me to put on a song? And he goes, yeah. So I put on C'est La Vie by Bewitched, you know, popular Irish pop song. You know this? That old tavern jingle. Say you will, say you won't, say you'll do what I, come on. Of course. Anybody who's Irish knows that one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I put that on and I get up there and I hit that thrust so fucking hard. And in that moment I go, I only know the people I came with. That is so brazen. That's Irish. Fucked up. That's very Irish though. But everybody was so nice. And then later I said, I had so much fun. Like this was so great. And please invite me next year. And they said they would. Well, we'll see. Huge of true.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
This is the real kicker on the party. Guess who was there? Conan O'Brien. No, not Conan O'Brien. You know he's a giant tall person? Mindra O'Shanahan? Patrick O'Flannery.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
It's so fierce. Okay, sorry, go ahead. So, okay, who was there? Hold on. His name is Tim Bagley. That sounds really familiar. He was in Grace and Frankie. Tim Bagley? This guy. Oh, yes. He's in Best in Show. Yes. He was Michael McCain. Wasn't he Michael? No, no, no. He's so funny and so soft. Who was he just in? He's in The Comeback.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
He plays the caterpillar in The Comeback that's like, this costume is so fucking hot. What else is he in? He's in Grace and Frankie's and Will and Grace. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Grace and Frankie. I remember him in Grace and Frankie. He's really just been in everything. He's very funny. And he steals the show and everything. So I said, I got to say hi.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
So my friend meets him and then says, my friend wants to meet you. And he knew about Trixie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And he was so nice. I bet he, yeah. And I said, I got to tell you, I watched the comeback like twice a year. And there's a scene where you're dressed as a caterpillar and you're complaining about how fucking hot it is. And I said, in drag, I always think of you. And he was like, oh, he's like, well, we love that show. He said, you know who else is here? He said, let's go tell Michael.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Michael Patrick King. Oh, no way. Because it's an Irish party. Oh, duh. All the Irish people are there. And so I got to tell him how much I loved the comeback. He gave me a big hug. Did you ask him why he didn't cast you in AJ and the Queen? I said, oh, you did AJ and the Queen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Parvert. Parvert. We would get clothes on layaway for school at the beginning of summer. Pay them off by senior year. Because she would buy the school supplies and shit when it wasn't spiked. Smart. Smart. She would buy our summer clothes when they were on sale. We were always a season behind because you put the summer clothes on layaway. Wait, were you going to wear shorts in the winter?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Um, yeah, no, I didn't ask, but I knew that I knew that he knew you because I said, Oh, you did that with Katya because he loves us. Yeah. He's great. He did sex in the city. He was so nice. I was so starstruck and it was really cool for me. That's great. Type of Irish party. Why weren't you there? McCook? Well, well that's, we're actually technically Scottish, but, um, Irish Boston, St.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Patrick's day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
stay away it's it's west hollywood halloween yeah what goes on we're dying the um we're dying the charles green she's already green she's already green the river okay we're dying the river green she's already green you know what i mean like we're doing green stuff we're we're being obnoxious at 9 a.m we're getting full blackout by 11 a.m we're face down panties up by 3 p.m there's a parade nobody remembers it it's full chaos just white people misbehaving
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, it's white people that they're worst. It's the worst of the whiteys. Whitey Bulger. It's horrible. It's really horrible. And also hate crimes. Love that talk. It's not a great gay. It's not a great gay-friendly holiday, typically. What do you do for St. Patrick's Day? What was I doing for St. Patrick's Day? It was on a Monday.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
yeah well this party was on saturday okay nothing okay face down i have i just i love a christmas party i love a halloween party i've never been to a theme party i did have fun okay well there you go yeah and it was fun that real irish people were cooking real irish food what other holiday would that be like what's the is it like equivalent to what's another holiday
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Like an Easter party or something for adults.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
The weird thing though is because Donald Trump announced that, you know, we're not flying pride flags. We're not flying, you know, like we're not doing a black history month, but we're going to fiercely do Irish heritage month. It did feel very, it put a small damper on my experience, but that's not the fault of the party host. It was a, it was fun to go to a house party and,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And then I skipped graduation to hike the West Highland Way. You graduated from college in 2005. That's fucked. No shit, girl. That's fucked, girl. I graduated high school in the year 2000. That's so fucked. It's been longer than I was that age. You do the math. Born in 1982. Fiercely old. Old as hell. So old. That looks like my younger sister up there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
old any positive we're wrapping up here oh yeah any positive shout outs I do yes I just want to I want to clear the air and address the situation in that little Instagram clip that Courtney Act had the gall and audacity to call out online she said did you put the baby filter on this and I said excuse me right I did did you notice you looked great like a little baby of me yeah we were talking and I like tried to subtly throw it in there I don't know if you knew maybe you didn't notice
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I would like to shout out. Is there a baby? That's a baby filter. Yeah. We, it doesn't look that different. I know. Thank you. It's cause we're bald. Yeah, that's true. Oh, I do want to shout out Gwen Stefani for being so religious. Girl. Girl. Do you want to grow closer to God with me this Lent? Download this app and pray with me every day. And let's get closer to God through this app.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Not like a last season. But like... I know. You buy your swim trunks in fall.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Can we listen to it? It's so crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Mark Wahlberg. Fuck off. Well, I did do the Transcendental Meditation course. Did I even tell you that? It's very, very boring.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Where do you find the time? All this premium cable. All this smoking. No more smoking. 20 and 20 could save your life 40 minutes a day. Are you looking to get closer to God this Lent? Join me on the Halo app. Can I say, it's so crazy. You know what? She looks incredible, but she looks like a Barbie that is there to convert your children from gay to straight. Her looks have never been the issue.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
So that by summer... Yeah, they're not marked up. I hate that. Also... I have stress dreams about buying books for college. Girl. It's like, it's the silent killer. I've been watching. They don't tell you about that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I guess I feel... I didn't expect that person who makes that music. To be a televangelist, essentially.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
It kind of is a hard left for me. Download this app and get closer to God with me during Lent. And I guess I have no issue with it. I do. I mean, if she wants to be religious. Is it, I doubt it's free. Yeah, I guess so. But I'll shout out, Brittany Broski has been releasing music. This probably isn't three weeks old now. Is it religious music? No, she does type of singing type stuff.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Would you like to hear? Yeah. That's her? Yes. Damn. She sounds horrible. So go listen to the girls. That looks great. Women are not one thing. She can be hilarious and an incredible musician. And I got to tell you, I don't know her business, but you got to support the girls. Go listen to it. It's a cover of that Harry Styles song.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
watermelon sugar no adore you adore you yes because she's a big harry styles fan oh really she's trying to reach him one song at a time this is her extending the rose hello hi how are you what do you think about um do you know about oh god what is his name fuck off
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Off the piano. Benson Boone. He does a backflip off a piano? All the time. He's always flipping and kicking. Oh, wait. Did he do it at the Grammys? Yes. Okay, I did see that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Let people sing. Let people do backflips. If the body is tea, you must set him free. Well, there you go. All right. Goodbye. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Yes. Drink less at other people's houses. Yeah, maybe no hip thrusts for the first couple hours. On the porch in front of his mom. What the fuck? While a Bluetooth speaker plays a song I picked? What the fuck is that? You start like... 35.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I've been watching Buffy and I'm on season four and she goes to college and I'm watching her in the bookstore and I'm thinking, remember when your fucking math textbook is $500 and it's the only, I was like, this is a racket to get that teacher. I guess what it's written by. The teacher. Hello. Hello. That's so fucked.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Like, imagine if it was like, oh, if you want to come to our show, you have to buy our book. Yeah. Not available in any library. No, not available because it's only printed for this bookstore so that you, the sucker, have to pay the mama. I'm not paying for that teacher's salary or that teacher's little jacuzzi, whatever. You try to get the used too, but the thing is. 498.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
It's $500 new or $498 used. But when you return it, they give you $3. Make that make sense. I'm struggling with my hair. No, it's not a struggle. It's a journey. This is one of the wigs from Solid Pink Disco. This is called He Him. It looks like you look exactly like Ken from the Barbie movie. It kind of gives pixie cut though. Well, kind of? It is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
These to me, these points, like if you are a gal, you can still style these and make them very like... It's like Rachel Lee Cook. This is an actress going into audition for Chicago, but swearing she didn't dress up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And she comes in like... With her costume flapper dress. Did you see which actress just got a pixie cut? Emma Stone? Yeah. Emma Stone. Emma Stone. Wow. Not great. Oh, I love it. She has such a pretty face. I mean, yeah, she's got one of those faces. I love it when she's so gorg. It's the type of beauty that's like, I'm going to just try and be ugly. And they can't.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I've never seen it. You would love it. But there's a really great episode where she comes back. I think it's after a season. She's got a short haircut and everybody's horrified because it looks awful. And she thinks it looks great. It's so funny. So funny. It's hard. I do love videos of people cutting their own hair. I love the moment of panic. I do love that type of shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Why do people think that they can cut their own hair? Can I say – Why do people think that? I don't think that I can do the electric in my – Do you know what I mean? I don't think I can like – Well, hairstylists know a lot more than you think they do. They're doing a lot more than just eyeballing your head and taking chunks of it. But I think people think that it's not super technical.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
That it's like if you just like stretch it out and chop it, it's going to look – Hair cutting is hard. Are they that stupid? I consider myself visually whatever and gay and beauty oriented. Hair cutting for me in beauty school was so humbling. So humbling. I look at haircutting as like open heart surgery. Same thing. Same thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Go to ro.co slash safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Blissy. I got to tell you, I received a Blissy pillowcase in the mail, and it made my completely bald head feel very good at night. I wish I knew about this sooner.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I would never, I would take eight years of training for me to even begin. Yeah. I would never. Oh, you know what they say in beauty school? They would say, cause I was in beauty school, but I worked front desk at the Scott free salon in Milwaukee. Hello. And the girls who, you know, I'd, I'd make their appointments.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I'd take care of their clients and they'd be like, well, you know, once you leave beauty school, it's years before you even have any semblance of saying, you know how to cut hair. Like you learn in the real world. All the patients you have to kill along the way to get to that successful open heart surgery, who are they? Do you know what I mean? One time we were doing a women's.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You know when it's short on the top and then it's like a longer length? I mean a lot of people do it. But like longer on the front and then shorter on the top. Tapered. Yeah, one time I was just on autopilot and we had just done men's haircuts. And I'm cutting this girl's hair. And at the end of it, I just was like thinking about my groceries, whatever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And I just cut a gorgeous square masculine men's haircut into this girl's hair and sent her down to the Chapel Roan concert. You're like, here's men's warehouses in Dallas. And it looked, she was very pretty. And so I was like, well, it looks kind of cute on her. It's fine. But, um, I don't think she was probably wanted some more length.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
You, and you want to save on, you want to save on the women's cuts, the pieces on the side, the front to feminize and frame and all that. But when I worked at the makeup counter, the girls would come in whenever they chopped their hair off, they overhaul their makeup bag. Cause a lot of women feel like once they lose their long hair, they, they don't feel as feminine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
They got to get a different license. So when women would shave their head, let's say, they would come in and be like, I want to learn about lashes. Oh, I want to learn about a bold lip. Yes. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. You know, they feel like their hair is their femininity a little bit. A little bit. Not everyone, I mean.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Cunty. But it's like very, it's identity. Yeah. But everyone wants to have the long hair, but no one wants to take care of it. We live in the era of the Dyson Airblade. Just wake up 10 minutes early and do your hair. Oh, God. That salon look is so accessible now. Dry bar. Get a blowout. You know, get one of those TikTok head wraps where you wrap the hair up and sleep in that. Give us something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Again, I love being bald, and I'll never not love it. Yeah. So eat my ass. Can I say I had Caleb Heron on the channel? Amazing comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were doing a game where I put wigs on him and I had to put a wig cap on him and I went, Doing drag with wig caps. Girl. It's very Mrs. Doubtfire. It's very boop, boop, boop. I don't know how to use my hands.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Like it's all the putting wig, trying to put a wig cap on a 22 year old girl with like waist length, brown hair, gorgeous, thick, like all one length for Halloween. I'm like, you figure it out, honey. You just figure it out. Cause I can't do all that. You're like wrapping it up. You're smushing it. And then you're trying to put the, the,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
bald the best thing to do really is a french braid or two french braids because then you can anchor the way yes you have to do two braids and you have to go around like um you gotta do the crown crown because then you stick the pins in that yeah and then it's all anchored yeah but they don't know they don't know that they can't even they can't even get around the the geometry or the physics of a wig cap they're like whoa what is this they're like you put it on your head immediately flies off
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Satin is so bad for you, but Blissy's silk, and it's an incredible game changer. I've been seeing a dermatologist in Beverly Hills. Yes, they're extremely curt with me, and I feel ugly, but it's very helpful. And the dermatologist told me to ditch cotton pillowcases for blissy silk and you'll see less fine lines and healthier hair in weeks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
It like flies across the room. It's like they can't wrap their head around it. Literally. They're just like, what do I? Whoa. It's like, what the fuck? It's so crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
They get immediately stupid. They go to put it on and they act like it's their first day with ham. They can't stretch it over their own fucking head. Nylon. I don't know what my head is. I'm not sure what nylon is. And I don't know where this hair is coming from. It's so crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
They're always white. Always. That's the girls who struggle. College books. College books. Girl. I thought it would change at art school. Nope. Was there an elective you took that you really liked? I wanted to take photography, but it was too expensive. Oh, you had to have a camera. You have the lab fee and the supply list for photography was like $2,000. Oh my God. For the whole year.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Like $1,000 a semester. I can't afford that. No. Who can afford that? Rich people. Rich people. That's the hack. I hate rich people at college because they're all there stinking it up with their Porsches and stuff. They're driving up and down Commonwealth Avenue in Boston in their little Porsches. Generational wealth. Why are you here?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Well, they're there to support those broke-ass teachers trying to get you to buy their $500 book because they get no financial aid. They literally create the endowment for the school. Baby. And the math book? What did you do? Invent new math? It's horrible. Shut up, bitch. And then they have the nerve to not even use it. Baby. They don't even use it. They don't even use it. You never need it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I can't tell you how many classes that was the case. You didn't even open the book. I took this class called Art Survey where... What does that mean? You don't do art. You learn about all the different types of art.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And you learn about different types of art by going to galleries. Part of the class was going to galleries. And I guess it was fine. I mean, I'm not like a passionate visual artist. And so it was great for me because I know nothing about that. So I was like learning about gesso or underpainting or any of that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Chiara Scuro. And it was the type of class where you could just go to the review day, take notes, and then take the exam because there was no homework.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
oh my god i'm never gonna go to this class so all i did was go to the review day and that was rails of adderall i'm just kidding i just paid attention i just paid attention and just they shouldn't be that easy sweetie shouldn't be that easy sweetie boston university let me pinch a picture weeks before 9-11 that has nothing to do with it so boston university that is a it's your alibi yeah
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Well, if you know you can't afford a thousand dollar class, you're not buying a plane ticket either, honey. Thank you. No. Boston University intro to psychology 101. I went to one lecture. I was like, nope, not going to this. And again, showed up to the final multiple choice. 10 questions. Eats. Did you get it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
My science elective, I tried to take plants in today's world because everyone says that was the easy one. And then I ended up taking diet and exercise. Oh. Diet and nutrition. That's fun. It was so interesting. Yeah. It was so interesting. Did you guys talk about fad diets? Yes. So as our big project, we each got to select a popular famous diet. South Beach, Atkins, whatever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
I noticed for me, my face gets so ripped up from drag that anything I can do to help my face recuperate and rest is very helpful. You'll see healthier skin and hair in just a few weeks. And it's better than satin, which is made from synthetics. It's rougher on your hair and skin, and it's cheap for a reason. Blissie has anti-aging properties. It reduces fine lines and wrinkles over time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
And you got to study it, learn about it, and write a big study paper on it. And I chose the Subway diet. No way. Baby, have I ever told you about this? No, I don't think so. I'm a PhD on the fucking Subway diet. Obviously, I don't pay attention to it. Well, practice in theory. I love Subway. And I know that that's like a polarizing thing in this country. Because of the pedo?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
No, people just, some people are like, it's, they hate Subway. Oh. Do you guys like Subway? See, it's very yes and no. But you know what though? I walk into Subway, you know what I get? I get a foot long veggie with tons of salt and pepper and olive oil and vinegar. The sleeper hit of Subway is the veggie. Yeah. Gorgeous bread with vegetables and like salt and pepper toasted with cheese. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
Love it. Horn. Oh, you don't eat cheese. No cheese, but I find it very filling and satisfying. It's delicious. It's delicious. So the Subway diet is two 400-calorie subs a day. Okay, so that's called starvation. That's the whole diet. Oh, that's insane. And there is no exercise. Oh, my God. So you're just – of course you lose weight because you're malnourished. What?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
You can't critique it because you're transphobic thing, which is absolutely ridiculous. Trans people can be terrible actors, but actually this trans actress was great. It was just the story, the direction, everything about the director's choices made it horrible. It was truly unwatchable.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
And it was the longest two and some change hours of my life that I spent on Christmas Eve trying to get through this thing. It was so bad, Mary. You don't even fucking know. And when it got all this praise at the Golden Globes, I was like, OK, so what is going on?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Billion dollar R-rated movie. I think it was maybe the, I don't know if it was the first, but it set a record for box office receipts for an R-rated movie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Now, do you like do you like which Batman sort of tone do you prefer? Do you like the gritty realism of the Christopher Nolan? Do you like the campiness of Joel Schumacher? Would you like the gothic kind of romanticism of Tim Burton?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Isn't that, isn't that Christopher Nolan? Oh, yes, it was.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
I'm just kidding.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
What's the plan? So I had to, I went to my balcony and I looked at Runyon Canyon ablaze, aflame. totally burnt like burning like it was a fucking it was very apocalyptic my old apartment that i lived in with dina barbital i believe is destroyed or currently on routes to be destroyed and i grabbed my wigs my shoes some food um my pills my passport and my butt plug
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Mm-hmm.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Sick mama. But I haven't responded. It's okay. Let him leave him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Well, I didn't have to because I put that stinker on. And from the beginning, from the very beginning, I knew this was a movie that was tonally very fucked. Like, the tone and the pace were just not going to be riveting. And I suffered through about 40 minutes where my eyeballs constantly wanted to look away from the screen. My beautiful new 83-inch OLED TV. It's gone now. Gone. TV. She has none.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
None. But I just couldn't get through it. I could not get through it. I thought it was so bad. Every directorial choice was like the worst one. Every direct, you know what I mean? It was so bad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Listen, I saw I watched an interview with a recent interview with Joaquin Phoenix, who does not look anything like his character from The Joker. He is a he's.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Oh, with them teeth? Yeah, the grill. Yeah, yeah. I liked that Joker, too. The Joker from the Adam West Batman.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Paul Dano?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
He's so wonderful in a lot. Plays two roles in the perfect movie, There Will Be Blood by Paul Thomas Anderson. Mama, you got to watch that movie. It is perfection. Daniel Dave Lewis and Paul Dano.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Let's talk about Angie. Anyone who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Whether you're dealing with daily maintenance, emergency fixes, or even a dream renovation, it's so hard to find the right help. Luckily, Angie's been connecting people with skilled pros for 30 years, and they made it easier than ever to get your home projects done well.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Because Angie gives you access to a nationwide network of tradespeople with the right skills, experts in over 50 categories from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. Just bring Angie your project, answer a few questions, and Angie connects you with nearby pros who match your needs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
You can easily read reviews, check out photos of past work, and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Which means you could tackle that next home project in just a few taps. So join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to take care for their homes. Download the free Angie app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
The Natalie Portman closer wig. Yes. Why is that? Not the Run, Lola, Run. Maybe it is Run, Lola, Run. Yeah. What is with that Halloween 2799 at Dorothy's Boutique colorful page boy wig? I know. What is it? That party page, that bachelorette wig. If anybody watched Twin Peaks The Return, Diane, played by Laura Dern, was famously wearing a white wig of that nature. I mean, horrible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
It was so funny and weird. It's a little like Drew Barrymore in Scream, but like clown colors.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
The traffic's not as bad as I thought, but... I'm turning my notifications off because I can't really speak.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, but listen, as a person who worked at a wig shop for seven years, I can tell you and a good chunk of our clientele were strippers, dancers, sex workers. They were not going for Miss China at all. Twenty seven. Ninety nine. No, they were going for Miss Ireland. Forty nine. Ninety nine. And when the screen door lace runs came out, they were going for those.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
They were going for a long, sexy, long sex. They want the super Valentina. They want the long spiral. But they want it and they're on a budget, you know, they don't have thousands of dollars spent on wigs. So they want something under a hundred bucks, but they don't, they're not doing these little like robot China doll clown wigs. I don't know what that's all about.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Her profile? Like, the profile silhouette of her. Mary, I'm thin, okay? And I put a corset on. When I turn to the side on stage, if the light hits me from a silhouette point of view, it looks like Peppa the Pig. She turns to the side, and it's like you can't even see her anymore. It's wild how thin she was. It must have been a very uncomfortable shoot for her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Are we going to have to get on the Oz?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
In the previous episode, I think people remember me saying that I was waiting for these packages that needed to be signed for. They were from this company, this shoe company. These are these cunty shoes that have fangs on the heels. They're very expensive. They're beloved possessions of mine, and they were the last of their kind. So if they went up in flames, I would kill myself. Right. Naturally.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
It would have to be Alla Pugacheva. Okay, something... Very relatable, and yeah, people know about her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Abba? Oh, yeah, oh, Erykah Badu. Love it. Erykah Badu would be a really easy, I could listen to that all day long, every day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Are my lights even on?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
I think we need to be more concerned about my driving skills and less about the fire that's about to engulf us all.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
The danger. The absolute crippling fear of the danger of people flying through at like 70, 80, 90 miles an hour while they're texting and drunk. That's usually what I'm afraid of.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
That's true. But it doesn't keep me from being fearful. Plus, I do not text and drive. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
All the time because I'm terrified when I'm in a car.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
But that mama, these winds, these winds. were no fucking joke. I was, I'm like a paranoid person. I always think someone's breaking in because literally last week there were break-ins in my units, in the condos in my complex. So I was like, I'm hypervigilant about these squatters. Anyways, so the wind is like knock, knock, knocking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
And like, it just sounds like people are banging through the, banging the door, like banging on the door or like trying to be smashing the windows. It was really intense. It was horrible. I can't believe your old apartment building burned down. The one you and Fina lived in. Well, it's not confirmed, but it certainly looked like it was absolutely on fire because that whole area was up in smoke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
It was crazy. That building was wild anyway. Yes, girl, because the tweaker was gunned down by the SWAT team. Boop. I remember that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
She had just moved to Los Angeles and was a little squirrely about being in a new city, and then bam, that happens.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Girl, because it's probably the highway.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
So, you know, you can replace girdles, tights, pantyhose, lashes, cosmetics. I mean, she owns a cosmetic company. So I just need to get the essentials.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
I was thinking about that yesterday, and of course, absolutely, 100%. Everything would just have to be more tightly scheduled and planned out and that's it. You just come and you get a hotel and you do a three, four gig, whatever, you know. Plus most of the stuff we do, I mean, you definitely could. Because your YouTube is like from your home.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
There's seven pairs of boots and there's six wigs. My mind went fucking around. That's like, honestly, it's like $9,000. All that stuff. Very expensive. Wow. Very cherished and unworn for all new.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Oh, shit. But there's an Ulta actually down the street that's also gonna burn down, so I guess we're fucked. If Lawn Noodles burns down... Suicide Watch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
No, but I mean, it's like the buildings catch fire. The wind... Like, the buildings get out of control ablaze, and then these fucking crazy 40, 50, 60 miles per hour winds, they get the trees, and they hop from building to tree to building. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Because there's some greenery around all of this stuff that are lining the trees that are separating the buildings, and they're just getting fucking bowled over by it. I think that's what seems to be the case, because I don't understand it either. Damn. It's probably God. God. It's the woke. It's God, yeah, burning us because we're too woke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
My house in the hills that I moved out of, honey, when you look at the fire risk, it said extremely high, likely to, it basically said this is going to burn down in like a week.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
I mean, it's funny when in Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts' beat at the beginning of the movie is right by World of Wonder. Cherokee. They cross Cherokee Street. Damn. It's funny. I loved that movie. I recently rewatched it. It's so cunt. Those outfits are really nice. They really are.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Well, I told you, I told everybody, they know. My whole top floor, all of our bedrooms burned in a fire. All of it. All of it. Damn. Yeah, and I was the only one not home.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, but except we don't have other estates to flee to.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Anyone who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Luckily, Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for 30 years, and they've made it easier than ever to tackle home projects. Angie's nationwide network has experts in over 50 categories, from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
You can easily read reviews, see photos of past work, and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to get the job done well. Download the free Angie app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Hi, Jennifer. Jennifer.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
the redneck Riviera.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Well, I think you have to feel for the people who work for those celebrities. You know what I mean? Like the staff who has no jobs now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Field. I don't need to tell you this, as I'm sure you already know, but dating app fatigue is a real thing these days. Mindless swiping and meaningless trite DMs have made us feel more disconnected than ever. While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, there's one that's carved out a space for you to find yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
It's not right next to those, but... Well, somebody was telling me that buildings are catching fire, like building to building. It's like, you know... Oh, tell them what happened to your old building. She's dead, gone, burnt. Like, it was... Oh, God. So it's funny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
My Anton, my Bulgarian massage therapist, the man for whom I would risk it all, the first time he came over my condo, he went up to the balcony and said, I live right there. And that's where the fire was when I looked out tonight. So if he is not okay... I'm going to KMS.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
You know what I mean? Like, girl. I've been watching a lot of documentaries and footage of earthquakes, tsunamis, pyroclastic flow, things of that nature. Do you want to put it off?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
I will. have my new Wigs by Vanity showgirl wigs, my Swiss lace, my stage lace, I will have my thigh-high vampire fang boots, I got my silvers, I got my golds, I got all the expensive drag stuff, although I did not bring my Philippe Plein $2,000 boots.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
On Field, you have the breathing room to explore your desires, whatever they may be. Open relationships, cuddling, being a brat, tickling, looking at the Empire State Building. Field is a no-judgment zone. Download Field now on the App Store or Google Play. That's Field, spelled F-E-E-L-D.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
No, I think they're going to get lawn noodles. That's the real tragedy of this whole thing is that I was literally leaving the house to go get lawn noodles and then maybe go watch Baby Girl. So it's tough.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Do you know that the most accidents happen on these roads, though? But you know what? What happens on these roads is not people merging onto a five lane highway where people are texting and drunk at 80 miles an hour.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, thanks, J-Biden. Do you know that all... Okay, wait. I watched the trailer for a movie that I'm very excited to see. It's called The Companion. But tell me... Oh, is this the... But did you... I don't want to give any spoilers, but the point is that this fucking trailer, it was the second one I saw of it. The first teaser trailer I saw, I was like, this movie looks amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
This fucking trailer gave away the whole fucking plot of the movie, and I'm so plucked. I'm so plucked. Is this the Megan Fox movie? No, that's Subservience, and that looks a fucking mess. That looks a mess.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
And it features that incredibly hunky actor from the basically porn series on Netflix called like something. It's like a Fifty Shades of Grey kind of thing. And he's just like the porn hunk. So I can't take that movie seriously at all. I will check off to it, though.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
some of this porn shit or some of this shit this like soft core shit they put on Netflix to me it's a bridge too far just boot up the boot up the porn hub and go to town like give me a break I know I love a great well lit like lovely sex scene nude scene whatever all that stuff is I mean I love the opening shot of Eyes Wide Shut where Nicole Kidman takes her dress off and it's so beautiful but like I love a good masked orgy scene but like it's just yeah at a certain point man
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Field. Good evening, ladies, ladies, and gents. I don't need to tell you this, as I'm sure you already know, but dating app fatigue is a real thing these days. Mindless swiping and meaningless trite DMs have made us feel more disconnected than ever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, there's one that's carved out a space for you to find yourself. On Field, you have the breathing room to explore your desires, whatever they may be. Open relationships, cuddling, being a brat, tickling, looking at the Empire State Building. Field is a no-judgment zone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Plus, you can even find communities that share your general hobbies and interests like D&D, R&D, CBT, TLC, tennis, or in my case, vintage 1960s European traffic cones. Free from ads and completely independent, Field is a place that draws curious, playful, and open-minded people. the ones that are actually interesting and won't start out DMs with, hey, how you doing? Want to do butt stuff tonight?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Field members are all about discovery. 62% of field members evolve their sexuality, interests, and desires within their first year on the app. In a space without any expectation, you can feel free to find true expressions of yourself. For someone who likes very specific things and dislikes other very specific things, field is perfect.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
The worst part about dating apps is lack of honesty and transparency. For an app to actually encourage that and promote it, I love it. No more getting into someone's apartment and finding out they have a furry outfit made of alpaca fur, which I'm deathly allergic to. Download Field now on the App Store or Google Play. That's Field spelled F-E-E-L-D.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
let me tell you something and i'm gonna go this is a thing that i will expound expound upon later when we're on live on the video i want to talk about emilia perez at the motherfucking golden globes okay and if i get a lot of trash from selena gomez fans i i accept that but we need to face facts and we need to confront reality and we need to recognize that that movie is one of the worst movies ever made certainly one of the worst one of the worst musicals ever fucking made
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya
Because it features a trans storyline and I think people are very afraid to critique two things. So it's wildly experimental. So a lot of, I feel like it has this armor where it's like, if you don't get it, you don't get art. But that's bullshit because this is bad art. And number two, it features a trans storyline and a trans actress. So it's very kind of in a way it has like this bulletproof.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Hi, it's Trixie. I'm reporting to you live from Hollywood. And let me tell you, when people started to take Ozempic or Regovi or all those, and ironically, the people I knew who were getting it had some kind of situation where they were, you know, wealthy enough that they had private doctor situations. People don't even go to doctor's offices themselves. Doctors come to them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Sometimes lately, I'm trying to pick people. I was talking to Drew O'Fallon. I was like, I think you could say faggot. She was like, I think I could. She said, but I won't. She's like, gay guys always tell me that I'm allowed, but I'm not going to. I allow it. I love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Hi, it's me, a little girl. When you open a time checking account, you're one step closer to a better financial future. With no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, making progress has never been easier. Tee hee hee.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And if you ever want to access your pay before payday, you can use my pay to get up to $500 of your pay before payday with no mandatory fees or interest. Something I really like about Chime is that there's no overdraft fee up to $200. And I overdraft a lot because I don't have much money because I don't have a job because I'm just a little girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
To date, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion with SpotMe. Overdraft up to $200 without fees with SpotMe when you set up qualifying direct deposits. I like SpotMe because sometimes I borrow from my mom, but she lives in a different house than my dad, but they said it's not because of me. Chime never charges fees or interest for using SpotMe.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Just set up qualifying direct deposits, sign up for Spot B, and Chime will spot you up to $200 when you exceed your balance. Make progress toward a better financial future with Chime. Open your account in two minutes at Chime.com slash bald. That's Chime.com slash bald. Chime. Feels like progress.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Banking services and debit card provided by Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs. My pay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range $20 to $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
If you're a student, I know that you're just thinking about stress right now and you have to chill out a little bit. And Gemini Advanced has Google's best AI models in two terabytes of storage. Visit Gemini.Google slash students to learn more. Again, that's Gemini.Google slash students. Terms apply.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
What was the highlight of the trip, your stand-up tour? We ate really good hot dogs in Columbus.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I DJed in Pensacola last year, and it was like 98 degrees outside. Suicidal? I love Pensacola. Girl, guess what happened to us in Columbus? What? Nazi march. We weren't in it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
We abstained. We were in Columbus and Fina, the hair and makeup assistant, sent us a video of, this is not reflection of Columbus, but that day there was a white supremacy march.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And, you know, Columbus Twitter, which I'm on, was like, this is horrible. This does not represent us. But they sure were just marching.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And we were like, we're here, folks. Yeah. We're here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Maybe that's a good one. We're there, but not mentally. I could have never done we're here. The way they would go and have these... In an RV. They have these conversations where they...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
get called basically everything but faggot on camera and they play it cool and they try to like relate i would not be that yeah also i just i can't get that earnest and i don't care about people's lives that much yeah no you know like oh bring a book yeah we don't subscribe to like I'm sorry that that metastasized, but you should put on a wig. You know, we don't do that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It's cunty choreo. Yeah. It's cunty choreo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah. Now that's faggotry.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Did you guys pull a lot of, um, do, do sex stuff on the road?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Oh my God. Atlanta BJ roosters.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
If it's up for more than 16 hours. I need one. These ones wake me up. These ones put me down.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
and all your hookups have to lay down on the ground like in Defying Gravity look up as you go down we went Kat and I went to Swingin' Richards once with like a big group of drag queens and I don't like to tip but I want to support them you want to support the girls the money she would tip them it was very roundabout sort of through the sheet sort of handmaids got it yes yeah yeah I'm all about it I love it I love it he whacked my hat off with his dick like and it flew like 30 feet oh yes
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
That's the sort of quality programming. You were in one of those, like, plastic aprons that said, let's get cracking with a lobster on it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
The guy stood up and took the penis and hit her hat off her head. We're doing tricks. She just had brain surgery.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
That's how her plugs fell out. I went to that one in Montreal too with Matteo Lane and you guessed it, Nicole Byer, the other gayest man I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
This one, it really lacked a theme. They didn't come out as like a firefighter or whatever. They came out in like a t-shirt and jeans. Oh. And put on like, if you want my body and just slowly took the clothes off, but not even that slow.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And no magic. You guys, did you get to go to a lot of gay bars on your trip?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It was play, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I'm sure.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
In P-Town, when Peaches Christ and I shared a house one summer, they were like, oh, that's the house last year where someone cheated on his husband and then chopped the arms off and let the body lay in the closet. And Peaches Christ was like, that's amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You know what my favorite Forrest Gump-ism is? I think of this all the time. Seats taken.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Uh-huh. Yep. What's her name who plays Jenny? Robin Wright. So beautiful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
So beautiful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And I like that it doesn't glamorize it. It's like, damn. Are you kidding me? That was the most glamorous thing I've ever seen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah, beautiful gown. I do like when Forrest buys her childhood home and then I think has it bulldozed. That's horny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Because her dad was like a horrible abuser. Yeah. It's so sad when he goes to talk to the grave and tell her about how beautiful her son is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
So this week on The Very Bald and The Very Beautiful, we have two actually beautiful people to go with two bald people. We are joined by two very special guests. Hilarious.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Tom Hanks, did you know this? Did you know this? They cast the actor who played him young, and the actor had an accent. So Tom Hanks added the accent to the character to match the kiss.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I was going to say a woman, too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yes. Bob the Drag Queen, get in here. Open the book.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
If and when they make Bob the Drag Queen's Harry and Tom are live in concert into a film. Obviously, Julia will be in the call. Or Patty Arquette. Patty Arquette. Oh, she can do anything. Of course. She can do anything. Leslie Jordan turned 70 yesterday. Post-postumously. What an icon.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You think that you're not going to be approaching Crypt Keeper by 78? Because a white person lives in California?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Is it okay to, is it okay to get Botox at home? Is that what you're doing? Or you go to an office?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Hilarious comedians and stars of their hit new out TV show. Wish you were queer. It's Tim Murray and Michael Henry. Oh, shit. I honestly feel like you guys are like us where at this point if people don't know you they're actively avoiding you on the internet Because if you watch one Michael Henry video YouTube every week is like And I'm not leaving
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
My first dose of the COVID vaccine, I slept with a pharmacist. and he was like, well, you know, I can get you a vaccine. You can either come get it or you can meet me at my house and we have like an hour before it goes bad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And that made the whole thing feel secretive. It felt elite. It felt inaccessible. It just didn't feel like it was maybe... And what's great is with Roe, getting your hands on Ozempic or Wangovi is, you know, already enough of a hassle and negotiating with your insurance provider should not be something else you have to worry about. But Roe is here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You really cheated the system. After the hookup, it was like, you know, normally there's cash on the table. It was like, well, let's do your poke. It's like Pfizer or Moderna. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Squarespace, baby. Today's Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at Squarespace. I am planning an event right now. This is not a lie. I am planning a party and I have never in my life had to worry about certain things like... It's a birthday event, but I'm like, who's going to be the photographer? I only know nightclub photographers. How are we going to deal with music?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
How are we going to deal with catering or whatever? And thank God these amazing vendors in the world who do music or tailoring or photography or modeling or whatever, people have amazing websites that they've personally made using Squarespace. And it makes you, the consumer, feel very affirmed in your shopping experience. You're basically shopping for somebody's services.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And a great website can help paint that picture. There's some amazing design intelligence features with Squarespace. It's cutting-edge AI that unlocks your creative potential. Because let's be honest, if you're a professional puka shell necklace maker, wouldn't you rather spend most of the day doing the art? You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
No disrespect to the art of creating websites, but if you're not a website creating specialist, it's great to be able to plug in and use some of these like templates, for example, and it's just super easy. I also have to tell you there's also analytics tools, which we love. I mean, in Team Trixie world, we always love to see how something's doing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And insights give you ideas on the top traffic sources. They let you know how your reach is growing, what people are clicking on. I mean, all this data is so important to scale your business. because what's that saying? You can't see the forest through the trees. Running a business is really being up in the woods and you can't really get a lay of the land.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
These analytics really help you see your business the way somebody else's eyes would see your business. And it's super helpful. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash ball to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go over to squarespace.com and use the coupon code BALD to get 10% off your first website or domain.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Squarespace, baby. Hi, it's Trixie. I'm reporting to you live from Hollywood. And let me tell you, when people started to take Ozempic or Regovi or all those, I remember it was like, it's kind of felt like it broke in this area of the world. And the only people I know who had it at first were like the most famous people I knew. And they were the most secretive about it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It was such a crazy time and it seemed so inaccessible for everybody. And ironically, the people I knew who were getting it had some kind of situation where they were wealthy enough that they had private doctor situations. People don't even go to doctor's offices themselves. Doctors come to them. And that made the whole thing feel secretive. It felt elite. It felt inaccessible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It just didn't feel like it was maybe... And what's great is with Roe, getting your hands on Ozempic or Wangovi is, you know, already enough of a hassle and negotiating with your insurance provider should not be something else you have to worry about. But Roe is here. Roe's insurance checker lets you know if you're covered for GLP-1s for free. free. Free 99.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I mean, I think we all live in America here. Like free is not something you hear very often, but here it is. Rowe can help you understand GLP-1s like Ozempic and Mungovi and like which ones are right for you, you know, in correlation with your goals.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And that's just the beginning because if you're eligible for GLP-1s and you want to see if you're covered, all you have to do is submit your insurance card and Rowe will take care of the rest. No paperwork, no negotiating, no waiting on hold. I mean, listen, if you're on a personal weight loss journey, you got enough to worry about.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
OK, Rose Free Insurance Checker will send you a comprehensive report of your coverage details so you can make a decision that's right for your goals and your budget. Plus, row members have support through the process. You'll have access to your provider on demand for any questions. Join over the 350,000 people who've trusted Roe to check their coverage for free.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Go to roe.co slash bald for your free insurance check. That's roe.co slash bald to see if your insurance covers GLP-1s for free. Go to roe.co slash safety for black box warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. This episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Google Gemini. I mean, Gemini could do pretty much everything except sit here and do a podcast. It is amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Do you have exams? Do you have essays? Deep breaths, people. Gemini Advanced is now free for college students in the U.S. Best part is the offer isn't just for finals this semester. Sign up before June 30th and you'll get free access all the way through spring finals of 2026. I love Gemini. I got the opportunity to work with Gemini before Gemini even came out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Well, have you ever done a Michael video?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And I have been using Gemini ever since it came out. It is so amazing. I love it for fact checking boring stuff. Now that I'm driving, I love it for being like, oh, hey, can you help me figure out where I should stop for gas? Can you help me figure out what's a good halfway point between these two places? If you're a student, I know that you're just thinking about stress right now and you have to
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
She takes you to the park. Yes. Excuse me. Lays down a blanket. Yes. Swear to God. Swear to God. Lays down a blanket. Cause it's what? It's public domain. It's I say so. But it's daytime. She's at the park at night. I'm at the park at night, you know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Chill out a little bit. And Gemini Advanced has Google's best AI models in two terabytes of storage. I wish I would have had this in college, even just for time management. You guys, I have opened my fridge and told Gemini what ingredients are in there and Gemini has told me what to make. one time, I only had one avocado and I said, how do you make guacamole with only one avocado?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And Gemini told me exactly how much of other stuff to put in there. Visit gemini.google slash students to learn more. Again, that's gemini.google slash students. Terms apply. Did you guys tour in a bus?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
No, he didn't need another license for it. No. If he did, he didn't do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Under 36 feet and under 26,000 pounds, you don't need a special license. Now tell me, why do you want an RV? To experience freedom and not have to use hotels.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Well, you were supposed to take the bus today, and then I heard you say that you took an Uber.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You're not rebuking vehicles.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
No one's ever really asked me to do it. You can't even suck dick without biting. So like, what are we going to let you do on the freeway?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Do you come in drag or is that like not affirming? Do you know what I mean? If you're like pussy and you're feeling it, are you like, oh, don't do that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Poinsettia Park.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It was awesome.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
They wanted a line, but they got a bump. And I can prove it, right? Can you get an STI from that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
My dick is long, hard, and flat. You do the trimix first, and then your dick is marble. And then you can pretty much take a Hortoria Hanzo sword and chop up the cocaine, and no one gets hurt. Here we go.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I'll do anything.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
When did you become like Barry? I feel like you have more sex than most people. Who, him?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
If you like my dick biting, you're going to love what my ass does to you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Oh, I don't know. Are you open? Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Did you want to come forward about the cheating on the pod?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I saw pictures from your beautiful wedding on the internet. Oh, thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
That's fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
So if you played a heart surgeon, would you say that you've done a heart surgery? It's a liar. It's close. It's at least adjacent. Yeah. I bet you've officiated. Um, no, I was a performer once at a wedding. Oh, that's what I was too. I was, I was the, one of the grooms was, it was gay woke and one of the grooms was a big fan. And so the other groom surprised them with me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I came out and sang, I sang time after time with my guitar and told some jokes and they slow dance.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Well, you guys are doing this show where you travel. Can you tell Katie Bug about the show?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I won't be sitting like at the wedding and eating. So I stayed away in a room alone, came out to my thing and left.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It was OK pay. But then I found out they were the heir to a certain huge company. I said I should ask for more.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah. Weddings are expensive. Plus, when you put wedding in front of anything.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah. Well, you don't know if they're on a budget. Like, there will be no wedding cake, but we do have, you know, Jasmine Masters here. Oh, well, thank God. Doing a tight tie. Just as good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Oh, my God. You don't smell that breath? That shit in your mouth? People's moms, like, eating mashed potatoes, like...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
As if they could sell a show where you travel.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
When I've done private events, it really helps me. There's one gal, I've done events for her, and her team sends basically a Spotify list of play these exact songs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
They can do whatever they want, but that has nothing to do with me. I'm not playing it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You at airports being mad? No, no, no. Eating pretzels and being pissed off? That's not really what it should be called. Going into a bathroom and coming out because it's too full. Wish you were queer and wish I was home.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I think that a request is a request. And if you expect it to be honored, then it's not a request. Yeah. It's a demand. It's a demand. Yeah. Yeah. And what you do is you also, even if you ask, you ask really nicely.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
That's like Devil Wears Prada. Like, I want the new unreleased Harry Potter book. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Now what's the horny airport food? Because we have favorites.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You know, you guys are more high class than us. We love Duncan at the airport. And we love... I like Starbucks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
When are you flying coach, bitch?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
it was the shittiest fucking thing I've ever tried to eat in my life more than an ass you gotta be smarter than the plane sometimes you have to think like alright honestly on planes the vegetarian meal is the move because they're not serving you chicken from two days ago yeah you know like vegetables can sit and not be weird well I fly spirit and they give you a cup of noodles for $3.50 they do?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Well, she said the other day she was like, United, United with what?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It's like so weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Was that when the kid's shirt got torn off? Yes. We talked about that. That's the Boeing as a pedo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Oh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
The Boeing ripped one shirt off one person and it was a kid.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Sorry. No, go ahead. No, I already talked too much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You're waiting for me to talk. She waits for me to talk and arrest me. It's so fucked up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I don't buy it. Get out of there. I don't buy it. Who's got the room? Also, you're going in there usually like half hard. I'm like, so what? You're sitting next to someone's auntie fully chubbed, you fucking weirdo. Weirdo. I can't even fit in an airport bathroom. How are people doing it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I do think sometimes, like, I know cruising is an important part of gay history, and it was thrust upon us because we had to secretly have sex.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
But I do think if you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside. We don't need to be having sex on the plane publicly anymore.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Oh, Emirates. Yeah. One time I was flying to Dubai, Dubai, Dubai, Dubai. And there was an area of the plane that was like a little nightclub. It's a little mixing, like a little watering hole. I mean, a Barbara tall sitting there being like, do we dance? What is Dubai like? Great for gay people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Well, you smoke at the airport. Oh. Yeah. Great country for women. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
The dry county. You guys are professional gay travelers now. All these places you've been, where's on like the dream wish list if you got to go travel now next time?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Okay, you'll love it. It is, for all the drama, we complain a lot. Last time I was there, I was like, this is amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
This could be huge for me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And there's some really hot guys there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
They're not supposed to go to the hospital. They're supposed to stay bit. And if you survive, then you're fierce. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
God loves you. But if you die, you were sinful. You had a demon in you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You've never been peed on? Never been peed on. Have you? I have. I loved it. You can't find someone in LA to pee on you. It's hard to find someone to not pee on you here. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I'm your girl. Yeah. Can I go back to the RV? What's the rose and the thorn of the RV life?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Because class ARVs, which are the really big ones, you need a special license.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
But Class C, which is like when people have camper vans, sprinter vans, you don't need one for that, obviously. I know too much. What was the Rose for you?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
So in Dallas, Texas, you couldn't go film in the park in Dallas, Texas, maybe.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
That's the catch-22 of Florida. Panama City Beach, mama.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yes. He went in and he was squatted in the urinal taking a big dump.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And in some ways, it's so not.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Oh my God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Check out Wish You Were Queer on OutTV starring the incomparable homosexuals to the left of me. May 22nd.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And we're on tour.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
And I don't want to be corny either, but listen, in this America we're in right now, just even if you're not interested in TV, just turn on the channel and let it play.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
The ratings are essential. Ratings. Put it in the background.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Hate watch it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It's stinky. Can I also say, the straight guys in the stalls, they are pooping. They are pushing the rock from Indiana Jones out of their ass.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Would you go on an RV tour with me? No. There you go.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It shouldn't be soft serve, but it shouldn't be two by fours.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Roe's insurance checker lets you know if you're covered for GLP-1s. for free. Rowe can help you understand GLP-1s like Ozempic and Mungovi and like which ones are right for you. All you have to do is submit your insurance card and Rowe will take care of the rest. No paperwork, no negotiating, no waiting on hold. Join over the 350,000 people who've trusted Rowe to check their coverage for free.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Well, I'll toe tap and people will be like, oh, oh, la la. Always French people. French Canadians. And they get under and they whip out the dick. And I was like, I'm I was doing like stars twinkle. But I was doing kind of a number. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
That's how I figure.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You never fucked a flight attendant?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It's hard to not fuck a flight attendant in the gay world.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
If you're flying Delta, you can fuck Delta, but you can't do cross-generational. Because you won't get points. Right. You won't get the points. I hooked up with a flight attendant once, and he told me that they are known to be slutty, and they call themselves air mattresses. Yes. They're proud of that title.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Or trans. And Michael is going to the front of the cockpit. The cockpit. And Michael is pulling down pants and he's examining... Birth genders. Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
So wait, your show is going to premiere on OutTV and you guys travel as comics in the show, but you also take in the local color.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
We're the non-successful... We're the Timu versions of us.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
There is nothing worse than like when you do the comedy festivals and they, which is fun. Love that. But they make you sometimes before taping, they put you on a show. It'll be like 10 random comics and people come hoping to see Bill Burr or whatever. And you walk out in drag or whatever and you do the gay jokes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Are we doing Wicked?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Tim does this act where he can hear any Elphaba singing and tell you who it is. I knew you weren't going to like that. I could see before your face even made a face.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Go to rowe.co slash bald for your free insurance check. That's R-O dot C-O slash bald to see if your insurance covers GLP-1s or Brie. Go to row.co slash safety for black box warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. This episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Google Gemini. Do you have exams? Do you have essays? Deep breaths, people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Well, Delta worked to Diet Coke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
I was listening to Anna, Anna Gastar did it. And she was talking about, do you see the story she talked about? She talked about like one in a million things happen on stage where the alphabet won't go up. So then instead of her going in the air and the audience being like, wow, the people of Oz with the staffs throw themselves on the ground and pretend she's in the air.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Imagine you go to see wicked and you're like, watch this bitch, your mother-in-law, whoever you're like, watch this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
We were in Australia and some of the venues said you can't fly Katya for Wind Beneath My Wings.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
$2,500 a night plus insurance.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It was the most expensive thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Not in Hobart, Tasmania.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
We didn't have a toilet at World of... Well, we would have to get in drag and go up to the fourth floor. But in the basement where we filmed, no urinal, no nothing. We'd be in drag peeing outside most of the time. On Hollywood Boulevard. On the wall. In the blazing sun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yes, yes, they do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Basically, we're on that tour. Instead of the audience, the fans who have seen Katya do Windbath and Wings and Fly, they're like, this is going to be great. So they get there, and instead of Katya going in the air, they black out the stage. They cut to backstage a Barbie doll on fishing line in a live camera feed, and they just lift it up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It's incredible, kind of.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Very low-key amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
It's somewhat actually kind of fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
There have been sometimes where if you fly in, you have to do a morning tech check like that with your gig. If you have like one show where it's just you and there's certain cues, but you're using local people. And then sometimes they're so off that you go, this person is homophobic or an alcoholic or both. If I look over to you, I better see...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
You better be in the throes of stage four something. Because we did a soundcheck. That's what pisses me off sometimes. It's like, what was the soundcheck for?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Gemini Advanced is now free for college students in the U.S. Best part is the offer isn't just for finals this semester. Sign up before June 30th and you'll get free access all the way through spring finals of 2026. I love Gemini. I got the opportunity to work with Gemini before Gemini even came out. And I have been using Gemini ever since it came out. It is so amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
When in the air? Yeah, like you didn't want to fly. Well, each of the wires were tested for 2,000 pounds. And I still didn't want to chance it. I still didn't want to chance it. She was pushing it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Well, she was like, I have this idea for the show where I fly every night. And they said, oh, yeah, it costs about $2,500 an evening. I said, what are your other ideas? But then it ended up being like the best part of the show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah. Yeah. She had to do it every day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
Do you guys think in season two you guys will get to go on the Blue Origin? I hope. Wait, what is that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
To whom?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I mean, it had really clear directions on how to use everything from the Wi-Fi to the stove to the TV, everything. I mean, nice hot stove to make like breakfast in my underwear in the morning. Huge lofted ceiling, like giant king-sized bed with like a cabin quilt on it. I mean, I slept like a baby, a perfect little baby. I mean, being able to travel and eat, like all I did, I brought like...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You know, I brought like pancake mix. I brought like some cans of soup, but I didn't have to bring utensils. I brought pans and then I got there and I was like, I don't even need these. I mean, everything was provided for me. I also love this feature with the Airbnb app where like you can kind of plan ahead.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
So let's say I'm going to Florida and far in advance of my trip, I can start checking out the area and start favoriting different like options. And that way, when it comes time to crunch time, like I've done a lot of my perusing, my browsing for bookings and I've got them kind of favorited. So in Milwaukee and, you know, like my brother lives in Minneapolis, like anywhere that I'm going to stay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I always have a few favorited because it helps me just to make a quick reservation when it's time. All trips are better with Airbnb. I love it. If you want more space, more privacy in a better location and the most loved homes, check out Airbnb.com or download the Airbnb app. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Why do you think that everybody needs to hear from you? I mean, what is your name?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Well, why do you love Chime so much? I mean, what I know about Chime is that it's a checking account that helps people who are working on financial progress. Nobody is perfect. Okay, I have in my life overdrawn to an embarrassing amount and had the bank. I've had to be on the phone with the bank and have them read me because I didn't realize how fiercely I was overdrafting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
A lot of these banks will have things where they're like, oh, we'll cover you. They'll let you overdraft almost in a predatory way. And like, that's not helpful to me. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Banking Services and Debit Card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs. My pay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range $20 to $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime check-in account required. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nick, don't get scared. Do you get scared? Oh Mama, versuch mal in Boston zu fahren. Das Ding ist, als ich in Milwaukee fuhr, fühlte ich mich immer sicher. Ich wusste genau, wo ich hingehe. Ich fühlte nie Kondition. Ich bin einfach so wie... Ich fahre den Hollywood Boulevard in meinen Renten. Und ich wollte das Lexus kaufen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich fühle mich, als würde ich Worldstar sehen. Aber jetzt wird es oft ein Fight-Video sein, das sich in einen Schuss schießt. Und ich bin so hoch in meinem Haus und sage, krieg sie, krieg sie, Mädchen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich wollte ein Lexus leasen, weil mein Accountant mir gesagt hat, dass wenn du es leasest... Leasen macht Sinn. Du könntest es als Geschäftspreis leasen, wenn du es für Arbeit benutzt. Und du kannst immer ein neues Auto haben. Und ich wollte ein Auto mit einem langen Interieur haben, in dem ich sitzen und dragen kann. Ich will auf Netflix fahren oder so. Du musst das Popemobile bekommen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie sagten, das ist das, was die NBA-Spieler bekommen, weil es hochkant ist. Aber ich war auf dieses Lexus und sagte, lass mich wissen, wie viel es ist. Ich bin sehr reich. Und sie sagten, 1200 Dollar pro Monat? Ich sagte, wird dieses Auto mich verletzen? Wird dieses Auto mir Essen backen? Ist es ein Airfryer? Was hat es? Du denkst, das ist viel? 1200 Dollar pro Monat? Für eine Fahrt?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Mein Smartphone kostet 400 Dollar. Für eine Lease. Für eine Leihung. Für eine Leihung. Ein Luxus-Vehikel im Jahr 2025. Ist eine Leihung mehr als ein Fahrzeug-Payment? Ähm, nicht, ich weiß nicht, aber, aber... Weil jetzt bin ich so, ich wollte ein Luxus, weil es sicherer ist. Viele dieser europäischen und asiatischen, japanischen Technologien sind in den Fahrzeugen sehr sicher.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Aber jetzt bin ich so, well shit, soll ich nur den verdammten Toyota Tercel und nur den günstigen Fahrzeug kaufen?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I was just looking for, I was researching cars with the tallest interior, so there was maybe a way I could sit in the car in a wig and not be like this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Brandon would drive me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
He's giving Flintstones. Totally. The whole big is perfect except the top that's completely blown out asshole.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I swear to God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Weißt du, die Lesbien, die uns f**ken wollen? Jedes Mal, wenn ich über uns f**ke, sind sie so.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Just a little bit of time. I feel conflicted because I do know it's a broken system and it's a political message. No, no, no. I don't totally believe anybody should shoot anybody.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Maybe we can go together. Let's do it. We have to see that day. We go to one event a year together. Maybe this is the one. I think that's going to be great. I went to see, right before I left for Australia, I saw Andrew's February show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
What were the whores doing? Gay stuff. Gay type stuff. Homosexual type stuff. Ballet stuff. Cupid stuff. I went to a TV premiere last night. The Righteous Gemstones. It's rare that I'm invited to something I actually really like the program. Weil normalerweise ist es zu Barbie. Ich mag Barbie, aber ich habe sie noch nicht gesehen, also weiß ich nicht, ob ich sie mag.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich liebe die reichsten Gemste, also dachte ich mir, hell ja. Sie hatten eine Kirchenchor singen und es war aufregend. Ich kenne niemanden in diesem Cast. Aber ich kenne persönlich keinen von ihnen. John Goodman war nicht da, aber Adam war da und alle waren da. Und es gab auch keine gayen Leute, die ich da kannte. Also war es vielleicht das erste Mal, dass ich zu etwas ging, wo ich niemanden kenne.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und natürlich, The caterers, the people running the event, all know Trixie and Katja. Right. Because it's like young, cool people. Okay. What's the demographic at the premiere then?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
It kind of makes fun of mega churches. It was like Ted Lasso crowd. Yeah. Okay. And it was a great premiere. Two episodes. We got to watch one and two. Great premiere. Thank God. I can't say much, but I love that show. And I came home and watched a bunch of YouTube videos of megachurches doing that level production that they do. Because in the series, they're like, you know,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Vergangen. Vergangen. Vergangen. Ich habe einen sehr schwierigen Zeitraum mit... Social Media, because it all, X especially, feels so conservative. The stuff that gets suggested for me all of a sudden in the last few months is so conservative and crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Es ist ein Beyonce-Konzert. Es ist ein volles Konzert. Und ich habe Videos von Mega-Kirchen gesehen, in denen sie Santa in einem Schlag fliegen, über die Gemeinde, in den Himmel. Leute, die als Engel fliegen. Sie sollen besser, sie fließen dich und bezahlen keine Steuern. Sie sollen besser ein fucking Show machen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Natürlich. Sie lassen dich die Schlange halten und wenn sie dich zerstört, dann hast du den Dämonen in dir und du stirbst.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie sind illegal, aber die Leute haben sie immer noch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Oh, bring a book. Could you and I start a church? Absolutely. If we write a book that's supposed to be like a Bible, could we get exempt status?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I just think it's weird that it's like... Es geht darum, zu geben. Gib uns Geld jetzt. Warum kostet es Geld, wenn du glaubst an Gott? Warum wird die Glauben gemessen? Hast du Geld gegeben? Es ist ein Telefon, wo sie sagen, Jesus braucht dein Geld. Es ist ein sehr ordentlicher Griff. Jesus hat nur einen Outfit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ja, es war auch regnig. Also hatten sie es auf dem Paramount-Lot in einem der Soundstages. Also es war ein großer roter Karpet und alles. Und ich musste auf den roten Karpet gehen, obwohl ich nicht drin war.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und was hat man sich gekauft? Well, I did this funny thing last year when I was anorexic thin, which was buy a bunch of suits that don't fit anymore. So, Mama's just getting male corseted up and going to the functions. No way. Face looking pillowed like J.D. Vance, just trying to bronze the side, trying to chisel. Like J-Lo, not J.D.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Trying to chisel down the face, just trying to shrink the face somehow. You are so dysmorphic, it's unbelievable. You have no idea. Walking around my house screaming. Screaming before and after I woke up this morning and started screaming. Because I went to the event and I thought it was cute last night to have five drinks at the event. I woke up screaming.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Because I had five drinks, woke up, and I'm still adjusting the time change from Australia. And you know when you have alcohol in your system, it converts to sugar. So sometimes you wake up early anyway. So I'm up at 6am watching Roseanne, because apparently when I went to bed half drunk, I wanted to watch more John Goodman, because I love John Goodman. I do too. He's so good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
He's so good in The Righteous Gemstones. He plays Eli Gemstone, and everybody in that cast is so good. That shit is, that's some of the hardest I've ever laughed at TV in my life. I'm gonna get into it. You gotta get into Judy Gemstone, you gotta get into all of them. Gay shit, all of it. And I woke up this morning feeling... I had a great time at the premiere, it was so much fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Of course I know one person there, one person, Naomi Grossman, who plays Pepper from American Horror Story. Get out of here. I did a photo shoot with her once and I go, hey... Stop by where? The bar. So then after... Three more? I know that she sees me. And I know she knows I told her I was leaving. So she sees me, Miss Bald Lush, posted up at a table, throwing him back. Open bar?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I'm not even in this cast. The cast has left. Open bar? You have to take advantage of that. Isn't that horrible? No, it's not horrible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You put it in the toilet and flush it. Yes. You don't look at it. You don't handle it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Wachen und schreien. Und ich habe ein paar Körperprobleme. Und wenn du Alkohol trinkst, fühlst du dich hübsch. Also habe ich mich gestern Morgen im Bett gewaschen, fühlte mich wie einer dieser robotischen Hamsters. Die Dance-Hamster-Vibe. Ich habe einfach angefangen zu schreien. Ich habe einfach angefangen zu schreien.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich bin aufgewacht, ich hatte einen Topf von Hühnchenböden mit Almonden und habe dann mehr geschreit. Oh mein Gott. Und dann musste ich einfach hierher kommen. Und so, du bist willkommen. Hungry Root, the Root, the Root, the Root is on fire. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Hungry Root. And when it comes to cooking and eating, I've got this problem.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You guys know I've been trying to be a better cook because I have a six burner stove, which is such a privilege. And so I've been trying to push my cooking skills, even though they are so rudimentary. And I'm also trying to, if I cook at home, make food that is, dare I say, good for me, healthy and easy to make. And thanks to Hungryroot, it's the easiest way to eat healthy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I kind of like take the turd out and kind of like fillet it. You know, type stuff.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
It's like having a personal nutritionist. It takes the stress out of meal planning by recommending delicious recipes tailored to your tastes. Your nutrition preferences, your health goals. You guys, I'm a picky eater and I also have a hard time deciding what to eat. So not only do I need things suggested for me, but I have strict diet restrictions, which is...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
A little unfair to put on a person, so I'm glad how Guru can do that for me. They make it easy to eat high quality nutritious foods and achieve any diet health goals by tailoring recipes to a variety of styles. Like for me, because of my arthritis, I'm always trying to flirt with an anti-inflammatory diet, but I'm always intimidated by how to do that and have it taste good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Aber Hungry Roots hilft mir. Es gibt keinen hohen Fruchtstoff-Korn-Sirup, keine Artifizierten-Sweeteners, keine Preservativen von jeder Art in jeder von Hungry Roots-Foods. Sie sourcen nur top-Qualität-Meat und Seafood ohne Hormone und Antibiotika. Alle Hungry Roots-Rezepte können in nur 15 Minuten oder weniger gemacht werden.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und mit über 15.000 Rezepten pro Woche, gibt es etwas für jeden Geschmack und Nutritional-Präferenzen. I really love Hungry Root. They sent me this item. I'm always trying to like, sad to be a lifelong vegetarian and not really be good at cooking tofu. I feel like it either turns out burnt or too soft.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
And some of the dishes that I've been working with with Hungry Root is teaching me that this tofu, honestly, you just cannot be afraid of like flavor blasting that, you know, MF-er. Okay? You just got to really hit it with the seasoning. I'm trying to not be a cringe, you know, person who doesn't season their food anymore. I'm trying to do a better job. And Hungry Root is really helping me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You're going to love Hungry Root as much as I do. Take advantage of the exclusive offer. For a limited time, get 40% off your first box. Plus, get a free item in every box for life. Go to HungryRoot.com slash bald and use the code bald. That's HungryRoot.com slash bald. Code bald to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. HungryRoot.com slash bald. Code bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Die Ärzte zu Hause erzählen dir, was mit dir falsch ist?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Squarespace, Baby. Today's episode of Ball in the Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at Squarespace. This is what I like about Squarespace. I feel that everybody should have the freedom to make their own little website, either for your business, pictures of your dog.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Rezepien, die du machen möchtest, dein Reise-Vlog, vielleicht lebst du in der Van-Welt, vielleicht versuchst du die Julia & Julia und kochst etwas jeden Tag für 100 Tage oder was auch immer. Ich denke, dass jeder das tun sollte und es sollte so erfolgreich wie möglich sein, weil lass mich dir Squarespace erzählen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
The way you can be a complete dunce and turn out a gorgeous website, it has the web designers shook. And let me tell you, I've worked with web designers, it's awful. I've worked with independent web designers, it's awful. I've worked with web design firms, it's awful. It's so freeing as a small business and a creator and a creative person to get an idea for my website or like...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nicht seit Monkeypox. Oh, für die Mönche. Pour one out for all those hot people that got monkeypox.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Fresh out of Photoshop, I can find a photo I really like and throw it onto the website. Something else I really like is that there's engines in this that tell you what people are doing on your website. You can see what they click first. If they click this button, what else do they click? You could see exactly at what point they maybe abandoned the cart.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You could see if somebody likes this lip product, let's say. Es ist sehr möglich, dass sie auch auf das klicken werden. Man sieht also, wie die Leute ihre Produkte logisch verbinden. Ich finde das auch wirklich interessant.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Als ich als Bride und Make-up-Artist in meinen Zwanzigern arbeitete, war es so schön, am Sonntag ein Gebäude zu machen, die Bilder von dem Fotografen am Montag zu bekommen und neue, frische, jüngere Gebäudefotos eines Brides und Gästes oder eines Brides und Gästes oder eines Gästes und Gästes auf der Website zu bekommen. Ich konnte aktiv Spring-Geräte machen und Fotos von Spring-Geräten aufnehmen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Es war wirklich schön. I also really love the scheduling. My massage therapist uses this tool. And instead of me texting him and harassing him and being like, when are you free? When are you free? I'll just go in and I'll book a massage with him right in the schedule in the website. And I don't even have to text him. I've texted him and been like, hey, I booked on your website. Did you see that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
And he's like, oh yeah, you're all good. You don't even have to text me. And it's really nice. It makes you feel like less of a... Bis zum nächsten Mal. Head over to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com slash bald and save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's www.squarespace.com slash bald, baby.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I will see you on the internet. Und dann mit der Zeitveränderung, habe ich gesagt, ich werde mich aufstehen lassen, bevor ich hierher komme. Ich liege auf der Couch, ich stelle einen Pillow über meinen eigenen Gesicht und schlafe so. Und Brandon ruft mich an und sagt, ich bin draußen. Es ist 2.50 Uhr. Oder es ist 1.50 Uhr. Ich sage, oh mein Gott.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ja. Wenn du zu einem Premiere gehst und du kennst niemanden darin, ist es erstaunlich, zu sehen, dass du keine Akteure kennst, die große Star sind, wie Danny McBride, Adam und alle anderen. Ich war einfach so, oh mein Gott. Es war wirklich lustig. Ich war hinter den Presseleuten, weil sie den echten Kasten interviewen. Und es ist ihre letzte Saison, also ist es ein sehr großes Presse-Ding.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und ich bin hinter den Kameras, interviewen sie, weil ich die Programme liebe. Ich bin so... Und ich weiß nicht, wie ich eingeladen wurde. Ich glaube, ich war die einzige Gay-Frau. Wie war das für dich? Wartest du dir über die Show gebeten? Ja, weil ich es sehr gefreut hatte. Das war eines der einzigen Dinge, bei denen ich eingeladen wurde.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
What do you do?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Wenn ich nicht eingeladen worden wäre, hätte ich es nicht gemacht, um diese Premiere zu sehen. Ich liebe diese Show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nein, ich war in Australien.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I saw your thing about Demi that really hit you hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Dinner Theater. Oh, there's no food for you. We're just gonna serve Buddy a seven-course meal with mics mounted all the way around her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Well, you know, it's difficult with horror, as you know. I know, but see, and listen. Everybody says, what's the movie that did win with the gorgeous gal, Mikey? Mikey Madison. Everyone says it's amazing, so maybe it is so amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, I mean, can I just be honest, though? Yeah. Don't you think part of anybody with... I mean, if we ever get nominated for real awards, I'll be really happy. Yeah. But... You know that shit is not qualifying anyone's performance or acting. They're both great actresses.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie hat den Golden Globe und all diese wundervollen Nominierungen. Noch ein guter Kick für Horror.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie ist immer auf Feuer. Katniss Everdeen, die Frau auf Feuer. Aber ich sah ihre Gesichter und ich projiziere natürlich, wenn Demi, ich konnte es sehen. Ich konnte es sehen. Du hast deinen Oscar genommen und du hast es durch die TV geworfen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Wir wissen alle, wie wir sich darüber fühlen. Es ist vorbei. Madonna hat einen Pin in es gelegt. Ansonsten, wenn ich irgendwo... Ich werde dir sagen, wir werden in Zoey Saldana kommen. Ich werde sie bei Erewhon sehen und sie wird mich in den Arsch kicken mit ihren schwarzen weißen Händen. Ja, sie ist so wie, bleib schlau, jobless. Hi bald, wie war dein Film? Don't have one?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Wie war deine Nominierung? Oh, du hast kein trans-mexikanisches Musikal? Dann hör auf, Scheiße.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I just say, just a message to my mom. Mom, if you're watching this, you should be, you died three years ago. What are you doing?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Shouldn't you be drunk by now? I also take issue with, and this happened a little bit at the Gemstones, but it happens at every Talkback, where they ask them like, Ich weiß, es sind alle großartige Schauspieler. Ich weiß, es sind alle großartige Performer. Aber manchmal, wenn wir alle aneinander aufstehen und uns ausdrücken.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Manchmal will ich nur hören, wie lustig es war, deinen eigenen Stunt zu machen. Ja. Ich weiß, es ist ein großartiges Grupp von Leuten. Ich weiß, es ist ein Privileg, ein arbeitender Schauspieler zu sein. Manche dieser Dinge, ich bin so, okay, ich bin so, du weißt, wenn du die Steuern, weil ich fahre. I can, I can
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Or some places they feed you during.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich denke, ich würde den Halle Berry weinen, wenn sie aufsteht. Aber das war... Ich liebe das. Das war verrückt. Aber das ist, was ich liebe. Aber sie war so... Ich gehe da hoch, ich ziehe meinen Wig aus, um das gleiche Wig zu zeigen. Ich nehme beide meine Schuhe aus, um meine rechten Beine zu zeigen. Nein, du nimmst deine Schuhe aus, du riechst, es ist wie Tonnen Wasser.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich lache und es ist Scrabble Tiles. Ich sage danke und ich gehe. Nein, das ist es. Jetzt ist das alles. Du hast die Frau gezeigt. Wir sagten, wir würden nicht darüber sprechen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ja, aber du hast mich spirituell gemacht. Weißt du, weil ich wusste, dass du über meinen Penis und meine Beine denkst.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und das ist damals, als TV 22 Saisonen machte und sie waren 45 Minuten lang. Das ist, was ich mit dir sprechen muss. Wo sind alle Cowboys? Ja.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I don't know if I want to see a bunny burlesque number either. Oh, that's a hard one. That's not back seam tights, that's blood coming out of her ass sticking down her legs. Sie ist wütend. Ich liebe das.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Hot as hell. I love her. Hot as the big cherry lips, the smoky eye. She kind of gets Anna de Armas a little bit. She's so fucking good. And I follow her on Instagram and now she does primarily activism because she had some not so safe experiences when she was a young actress. So now she does a lot of work like that, but she looks exactly the same.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Body T. Her body T, her face pretty, her body T. And I'm watching it and I'm just like, Nothing fucking beats Buffy vs. Faith in this season. Nothing beats goody goody tan blonde Buffy against slutty evil Faith with the big knife. And I'm watching it and I forget that in season three there's an episode called, I think it's called, which one's the one about the shooter?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Buffy ist in einer Hochschule, sie ist ein Junge dieses Jahres, und es gibt einen... Earshot. Es gibt einen Episode, wo sie diese zwei Dämonen kämpft, die Telepathie haben, und sie haben keine Mäuse. Und sie bekommt etwas Blut auf sie, und das Blut geht in ihre Haut, und sie bekommt den Power, sie bekommt einen Aspekt des Dämonen, und sie bekommt den Power, die Gedanken zu hören. Oh, furchtbar.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Also, zuerst ist Buffy so, das ist unglaublich. Ich werde ein besserer Kämpfer. Ich kann alle Gefühle von mir lesen. Und für Storytelling ist es ein guter Episode, um zu hören, was alle geheimlich denken. Aber... Aber das ist ein Episode, den ich glaube, du kannst mich auf diesen Fakt checken, ich glaube, an dem Zeitpunkt war es geplätschert. Okay, I'll tell you what the episode.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
She's in the lunchroom and she hears a voice go, this time tomorrow you'll all be dead. So Buffy's like, oh my God, somebody in the high school is going to kill everyone. So she's trying to cure her hearing thoughts because they're so numerous. She like passes out when she's in a group of people because she can hear everyone's thoughts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
So her and the Scooby Gang are trying to find out who the shooter is by this time tomorrow. So it's frantic. They're trying to interview people. And Sie endet in einer Klopftür in der Schule mit einem Kleinen mit einem Pfeil. Sie stoppt diesen Kleinen mit dem Pfeil, der sich selbst töten wird. Dieser Episode wurde während der Columbine gedreht. Columbine war die Woche vorher. Also 1998 oder so.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Columbine ist passiert. Schreckliche Tragödie. Und der nächste, außer du bist Alex Jones, der glaubt, dass es nicht passiert ist.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
The next week, this episode is meant to air and I'm like, just thinking of the... Ich meine, du kannst nicht die Zukunft erwarten, wenn du diese riesigen TV-Schläge vor 22 Episoden machst. Und ich glaube, dass sie die Episode bis zum Ende der Saison drückten, obwohl es chronologisch nicht Sinn macht.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Aber wie verrückt ist es, dass die Woche, in der es aussehen soll, es eine Episode gibt, mit einem Kind mit einer Waffe in einer Schule.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
But it was a huge, huge, huge thing. I mean, I watched that Columbine documentary and it was about Infowars saying the parents are all liars and shit. It's a wreck. Can you fucking imagine that? I know. That documentary starts with the parents talking about getting their kids ready for school that day, what they ate, what clothes they put on them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie ist ein großartiger Performer. Ich habe gesehen, dass diese Scheiße weggeht. 90 Minuten. Wenn eine Song kommt, die sie liebt, wird sie vor den Dekken kommen. Und sie wird spinnen. Ich weiß nicht, wie diese Waffe auf ihrem Kopf bleibt.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
It was awful. And then you have these, I think we talked about them on the pod, but you had these parents being like, can you just acknowledge that like, My kid died. My kid was murdered at school. Yeah. Can you not ask your millions of listeners or whatever to call me and tell me I'm a liar? That's so fucking crazy. That's brutal. I just love to re-watch Buffy. I know that's horrible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You want me to watch Mad Men?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Weißt du, was passieren wird? Es wird passieren, dass ich, wenn ich neue Informationen nehme, hyper fixiere. Und ich spreche über Mad Men für ein Jahr wahrscheinlich.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Their CGI. Guess what? Season 2 is coming. What? The rehearsal. No way. Season 2 is coming, baby. What are they gonna do? Who knows? Speaking of mannequins of kids. Remember they would have the fake kids sleeping in there sometimes?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Now I think they should read Best Oscar as the wrong thing every year. Yeah. Als ein kleiner Rücktritt. Aber was, wenn sie das zu mir gemacht hätten?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Oder sonst was. Und ich weiß, dass das Zeitreise ist. Ich erinnere mich an diese kleine Oscar-Party, als das passiert ist. Miss La La Land gab mir nicht, was es alle anderen gibt. Das Film gab mir nicht, was es alle anderen gibt.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Irgendwann gehe ich zu einer Audition und sie werden sagen, du wirst gegen die Person lesen, die deine... Selena Gomez und Zoe Saldana. Ja, ja, ja. Es ist eine Art Lose-Isaiah-Remake. Ich spiele die Halle Berry-Rolle und Zoe spielt die Jessica Lange-Rolle. Und sie haben mich mit ihr zu lesen und Zoe wird sagen... So flott.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Interesting of you to bring your heap of shit body in here and try to talk to me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich... Sieh, wenn es regnet... Mama. Wenn es regnet, bist du poor.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You know what, actually? Boots. Boots. By the way, if you guys notice, this is a new Trixie shirt. This is in collaboration with the American Red Cross.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
This is going to benefit all the people who are deployed, mental health workers, skilled health workers, help to fully stock emergency response vehicles, supply a full-date emergency shelter, distribute cleanup kits, stock with essentials, and provide financial assistance for families who are trying to jumpstart recovery from very difficult situations. Isn't it cool?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
We're helping the people who are affected by the LA fires. It has me on it. All the money, all of it. Not the thing where companies say a portion of the proceeds. All of it goes to help people who is affected. So enjoy this Trixie shirt in exchange for your support for people in need. Love you. I love that shirt. Thank God. And also I love the beige color. I love the off-white. It's nice, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I love that. We have a show this weekend. I think I'm going to talk about bangs. You can come see some of the bald and the beautifuls here. I don't think we have any scheduled.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I've seen her, she used to do shows at Casita and I would go get to see her Casita in the basement there, which is a great place to see her because it's like 80 seats. Oh, I love that place. So you are up in her face, which is fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sei ein guter Amerikaner. All I ask is that you vote and you turn on green when it's time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I don't even care about the blinker. Just get that heap of shit out of here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You better. Give a hoot. You better. Du solltest das Fiat 500 hier rausnehmen, okay? Kann ich dir erzählen, was mir passiert ist? Ich war auf Tour und ich hatte ein paar Rückprobleme. Weißt du, die Art von Arthritis, die ich habe, beginnt in der Spine. Was? Und so habe ich eine sehr milde Spinalfusion hier oben. Milde Spinalfusion? Ja.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Also es ist degenerativ. Also beginne ich, mit ein paar davon zu handeln. Und ich hatte meinen Rücken auf Tour, von sitzen in den Sitz und nicht richtig schlafen. Weißt du, die Art von Dinge am Morgen, wo ich erst streichen muss. Die Rückenschmerzen sind das erste Ding. Rollen. Yeah, but like in bed, before I get out of bed, long child's pose, stuff like that. So I have to get a massage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
So Brandon goes, you know, we're staying at the West and there's a spa in here. And I go, all right. I call, I go, do you guys have anybody who can do kind of like a sports massage style, like a heavier massage? And they go, well, we can just, we have normal massage. We can ask for like a firm grip. And I said, okay, imagine the grip. Right. So I go in, I lay down and, um,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich fühle mich schlecht, weil ich weiß, dass diese Person mich erkannt hat und ich weiß, dass diese Person ein Fan war. Es war einfach nicht genug Druck. Also habe ich gesagt, mach es hart, mach es hart. Ich habe gesagt, ich bin wie ein 350-Pund-Bulgarischer, der Fags hasst, um den Scheiß auf mich zu schlagen. But, you know, you will not, it'll be fine. And she goes, great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. You know, because you're right there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
She hands me a stone that says, like, courage. And I go, great. So I lay down with that. So that's like, right, okay, great. And I love her. She was a lovely, if you're looking to relax, I think she was the massage for you, because I fell asleep.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
My back was so bad that it was taking gabapentin and doing icy hot, like it was bad. You needed physical therapy, essentially. Yeah, yeah. She's giving... She's giving Miss Touchy Feely. She's giving Miss Gropey Ropey. She's giving Aura of Roswell, New Mexico. Yeah. And I could tell that she was a supporter of the pod and a friend of ours. Well, then why did she get into it? Put her back into it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie hat einige sehr off-color-Materialien gemacht. Hast du sie auf jeden Fall aufgeschrieben? Weil ich langsam ihr ganze Akt stehlen muss.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I felt bad being like, all right, if this is the pressure, I would rather just pay in full and leave now and find another massage. Oh, fuck. But then I fell asleep. Oh, okay. So then I woke up and found another massage, walked over, and this was the other end of the spectrum. Wesley Snipes. All the lights on. Ich habe gesagt, nimm einfach das Shirt weg, ich brauche nur deine Rückseite zu sehen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und wir arbeiten mit Knöcheln und Knöcheln, Druckpunkt. Die haben mich gefragt, hast du einen Rückenschmerzen? Alles ist so schmutzig, du hast so viele verschiedene Bereiche geschwollen. Hast du einen Spinalschmerzen? Und ich sagte nein.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Dann musste ich einen X-Ray machen und sie meinten, oh ja, die Bereich, die gefügt ist, ist wie, du weißt, diese zwei Spine sind gefügt und es wird wahrscheinlich Probleme haben. Und Dieser Kerl, so ein furchtbarer Knuckel, in der Rückseite, nach oben. Brustknöchel-Beat. Kinetic von Wade. Kinetic von Wade in Brisbane. Sie haben mich zusammengebracht.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Dieser Knuckel, so tief in der Rückseite, schmerzt so schlecht. Und Tränen machen mir das Gefühl, dass ich keine Vulnerabilität zeigen kann. Perfekt. Also kämpfe ich im Grunde nach Tränen, wie schlecht es schmerzt. Aber ich bin auch so wie, was hast du dafür bezahlt? Ja. Willst du Dirt, Dirt cheap machen? Ja.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
It was very, very beneficial. Because I just, I'd never experienced a massage that was so light-handed that I was like, damn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I've had the same massage guy for 10 years. Really? Yes, and he's a big, strong, huge hand, just football build. So maybe I'm just used to a lot of pressure. That's all I've ever known.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
So fest, wie du es tun kannst. Und dann habe ich gesagt, es ist wirklich kein Wunsch, einen Kommentar zu geben, weil das ist der leichteste Massage, den ich je hatte. Vielleicht frage ich... Sie muss auf den Tisch springen, weil ich eine Thai-Lady hatte, die sich über mich springt. And that's the thing. Maybe I am asking someone salsa to dance hip-hop. Maybe it's just a different style.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
And I was being unfair with what I expected. Because it was a spa. And frankly, I don't give a shit about the tea.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I don't care about the dark lights.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
And back to the hot tub too. The only reason I do use it every day out of like If you have one and you pay for it, you better get in it, you whore. Get in every day, no matter what. Every day. Out of sickness, I get in every day. Diarrhea? Cook myself in the hot diarrhea. Why not? Get in that brown soup. Hell yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Back in my day there was boys and girls. It was Adam and Eve, not gin and tonic. Southern Comfort? What's so comfortable about it? Southern Comfort? Oh man.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Weißt du, wenn du wachst... Ich habe einen Penis, damit jeder es weiß.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich glaube, wir wissen es. Oh, okay. Ja, du versteckst es nicht genau und drückst es. Wir müssen es alle sehen, in diesen schmutzigen Schuhen, Miss Knuckle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Miss Knuckle. You've got Mr. Peanut on board here. Mrs. Peanut. Mrs. Peanut. Mrs. Peanut. Penis to vagina. Don't. So sometimes when you wake up hungover, you're horny. I don't know if this has ever happened to anybody else. You get horny, but then if you have the sex, you get sicker. Du schnappst auf den Beat. Sobald du den Nut schnappst, denkst du dir, oh, ich könnte jetzt aufhören.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Weil der Hangover dann aufhört. Weil die Distraktion vorbei ist. Oh mein Gott, das ist so verrückt.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und dann bist du nass und dein Mund riecht wie Kamm und du denkst dir, jetzt was? So I've been watching the news a lot in LA. I'm just kind of fixated on watching the news and the whole. So I found this great TikTok of news blooper. These audio. You will not believe what these people say. Listen to this bitch on the air.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Mein Witz über dich wäre, hast du über Katja gehört? Sie ist gestorben.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
She didn't know what was rolling.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Mega-Doo-Doo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
A professional journalist. D.D.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Soldier, public servant. We're not pouring one out for Didi. When you see Deidre and you're not sure, you could say Deanne, you could say Diana, you could say Miss D. This lovely individual.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Didi Megadudu. You better not have me working with you after when you walk in the break room i don't have the professionalism to not go so dd mega doo doo from dd to the doo doo from dd a slight chance of some participation participation participate per hurt is that a stroke is that a stroke well is that a stroke when the weather gal can't say you know this is horny you had one job and it's
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Hold on, I got one more for you. This is really fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Isn't that cunty? The News? Didi Megadudu. Didi Megadudu. But now he's dead. You gotta be careful with that News voice, because it can sound very cold to the dead. Everyone died.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Didi Megadudu, Fox 11 News. I hate that kind of cadence, you know? I hate it too. It's wild. What do you call that? Bad reporting? Well, I asked a reporter why they do that. He said it's so that when you're in the field, they know when that segment is. They're done talking. It's your over. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Hast du jemals diesen Clip von ihr gesehen? Sie ist außerhalb des Memorials von Lee Bowries.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
We do one live event a year and it takes a village for us to sit and speak. Hello. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
A name that is like Margaret? Well, that's right up there with a normal name. Like Brandon's mom told me she almost did B-R-A-N-D-E-N. I was like, he would have been having to fix that his whole life. That would have been horrible. I know, it's crazy. Brian, B-R-I-E-N or some shit. What the fuck? Mary, don't get creative with the spelling. Don't get creative. It's just a label. It's just a label.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Focus on what's inside. All right, well, thank you for having us here at the pod. Pouring out for Megadudu. Megadudu, goodbye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie hat ihr Geld gewonnen? Ja. Ich hoffe, das ist, was du tust. Ich wollte nicht sagen, dass du es an meinem Geburtstag tust, aber wir wissen, was passieren wird. Mama, bitte. Star Trek? War es Star Trek? Jemand heute sagte mir, wie sie gute Freunde mit Hollywoodland hatten. Und sie war so lustig. Ich vermisse, wie lustig sie war. Und ich war so, ja, ich werde es vermissen, wenn du sterbst.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Not even, I'm like, I feel like I'm always slowly preparing myself that you probably will die before me. Well, now that I'm driving the car. Guess who else is on the road?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
The Venga Bus is coming. Driving, I have it on my notes. Driving, driving, driving. I wrote down driving too. Guess what I got here today? No ma'am.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Mary, and then guess what kind of, they have all different tiers of insurance. Because I got an enterprise rental. You got like five billion dollars a month. I got the full. So if I hit someone else, their car, my car and my body or their body is covered.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Eighty-five dollars a day. Eighty-five dollars a day. I said, for that price, I'm fucking hitting somebody. $85, um jemanden zu treffen und zu sagen, trink, geh, geh, geh, und dann hinterher. Also ich war weiß, nackt, und ich glaube... Es ist furchtbar. 10 Jahre ist eine lange Zeit. Es ist furchtbar. Ich war einfach so, warum bin ich so gespannt, um meinen Lizenz zu bekommen?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich würde heute zu PEG fahren. Ich würde fahren... Ich nehme die 101 hier.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ja, so this is our new set and it's like a monochromatic thing, which has been our thing for a long time. Yeah, the converse pink and red, but it's a new riff on an old classic and I sorry, I love it. I love it. This is actually part of the work here is done by our friends who did our Netflix sets. Yeah, so we keep it in the family.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
No. I remember in driving school, they said that more accidents happen on roads where cars are conversing. Less accidents happen on freeways because everyone's going the same way.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Because people are texting. Well, you get a fender bender. Let's say you stop short, get a fender burn on the freeway. You're like, everybody's safe. You get out. A semi truck hits you. Hello. On the road. Final destination. And the devil lies. I rented a car to get here. I was gonna rent a Mitsubishi Mirage, because it was the cheapest. And then I was like, I'm gonna splurge. A Bentley.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
No, I don't know what I have. It's a... We don't know what it is. It's like a luxury mid-size SUV. Okay. Audi? I don't know. Let's find out. I was trying to get a car. I was trying to get this car called a Lexus GX60, I believe. I love the look of that car. She's a big girl, though. She's a size 14. Also, my driveway is... Miss Petite. Ja, du fährst.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Also mein erster Tag fahrt ich, ich knurre beide Fenster aus und ich bin so, wer braucht sie?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Was war es? Oh, es ist ein Audi. Was habe ich gerade gesagt? Audi. That was my first guess. Audi. I googled fear of driving. Do people have fear of driving? And I did it on my private browser so nobody would find out about it. Don't ever go on my private browser. Stay off my phone. And the devil laughed. Yeah, and the devil laughed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
And they said that the only way through it is to acknowledge that fear is not real. And it's not a real thing. It's just a feeling. And you just have to drive more and you'll be scared less. Yes. So they said, leave earlier, drive in the slow lane.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Die Sache ist, ich fuhr, dachte mir, wie vergesse ich, dass das furchtbar ist.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Es war wie... Die Amazon-Truppe geht über diese Frau nicht mal so schnell. Es ist wie umdrehen. Und sie schreit so witzig. Es ist so verrückt. Über ihr ganzes Körper?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und dann kommt der Amazon-Typ raus, schaut nach ihr, schaut umher und fährt einfach weg. Fierce. Can I get that video? Big Brothers listening, because now that I've got my license and everything, they're like, do you want to see some crashes on your phone? So I'm excited to drive more. I think what I have to do is... Pick short trips.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
It's hard that I live on Hollywood Boulevard because the beginning of any car ride is treacherous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
They really know what time it is. You gotta trust the girls.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und dann bin ich vorbeigekommen und sie haben den Koffer genommen. Ich habe gesagt, wenn dieser Hund mich töten will, was wirst du tun? Was wirst du tun? Das ist wie ein Rennfahrzeug, das das Parachute erzeugt und es ist so groß wie ein Teig. Danke. Das ist nichts. Nichts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Du kannst es nicht. Entschuldige. Ich habe auch versucht, die sichersten Autos zu recherchieren, weil ich dachte, wenn wir unser Trainingsbrau wieder ein bisschen bekommen, und meine Nippel, ich habe gerade die Hormone gestartet, und meine Nippel sind wie eine Art Bubble. Ja, ja, ja. Breastbuds.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Well, could you imagine if we let gay guys do this? Honey, Paisley.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und bevor ich die Kleidungspinne anziehen kann und wirklich Spaß haben kann, Du kannst dich nicht bewegen. Ich kann meine Nippel nicht bewegen. Right now. You know. So I was with jumper cables. So I'm trying to figure out how to get the safest car. And then, you know, one of the safest options I was finding was a test. And I was like, we're not doing that. Thank you. Sure.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
And then, and then I think of myself parking at the PS direct because at the PS direct, you can part your car. Oh, you can, but why, but it's four cyber trucks and my like high end Elantra. Nein Mama, wenn du in PS I Love You L.A.X. machst, werden sie dich aufholen. Sie bieten das nicht mehr an. Was redest du da drüber? Jetzt, wenn wir diese Autos bekommen, ist es ein privates Buchen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie bieten das Auto nicht mehr an.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Like a rhinestone. I'm thinking leather and lace. Rhinestones or pearls. I think leather and lace would be a good vibe for us too. Yeah, next time. How about pleather and mace? Hattest du mal Mace? Warum nicht? Warum lebst du nicht laut, Mädchen? Geh' Mace, Mädchen. Was würdest du Elon Musk sagen? Geh' Mace. Ich schaue viele Twitter-Fight-Videos. Wie Fight in the Maccas?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ein Zoom. Ja.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Das ist großartig. Ein Zoom. Ein langes, tiefes Gespräch. Und du schaust auf den Telefon und du bist da für zwei Stunden. Du solltest einfach arbeiten.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich habe dir gesagt, dass ich aus einem Auto kam und gesagt habe, du fährst verrückt, tschüss.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Miss Cahuenga Pass. Socks it to you. Miss Cahuenga, she's passing. Miss Cahuenga, she could pass.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Heute's episode of bald and beautiful sponsored by airbnb so i have to tell you guys i went all the way up to my hometown of wasaki wisconsin in wasaki we have two motels i've never stayed at either of them but when i travel especially when i travel up north where honestly you guys i love where i'm from but on an average week night we don't even have one like one restaurant open so
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich mag es, Brot zu kochen. Ich mag es, Abendessen zu kochen, wenn ich will, Mittagessen, was auch immer. Also wollte ich irgendwo wohnen bleiben. Ich habe eine vier, es war wie eine Viertelstunde, aber es schläft wie sechs oder acht, technisch gesagt. Ich habe einen riesigen Kabinett direkt außerhalb von Wasaki auf dem Meer. Und es war großartig. Perfect for me. It was perfect. Great Wi-Fi.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users' phone numbers, emails, and social security numbers, delivering real-time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for free when you visit aura.com slash defense. That's aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's A-U-R-A dot com slash defense.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
Do you remember that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users' phone numbers, emails, and social security numbers, delivering real-time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online, all for free when you visit aura.com slash defense. That's aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's A-U-R-A dot com slash defense.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Imagine waking up to find your bank account drained, bills for loans you never took out, a warrant for your arrest, all because someone committed a crime in your name. It sounds like a nightmare, but for millions of people each year, it's reality. By the time you get that breach notification email, the damage is done.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
your identity stolen, your financial future at risk, and the company that lost your data, they'll just apologize and move on. This can all sound really scary, which is why I'm so glad we're partnering with Aura. Hackers don't wait, so why should you? Aura monitors the dark web 24-7 for your phone number, email, and social security number.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
If Aura detects your info, you'll get an instant alert so you can act before the damage is done. Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance and a US-based fraud resolution team that works around the clock to shut down fraud fast and get your life back on track.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. all for free when you visit Aura.com slash defense. That's Aura.com slash defense to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's A-U-R-A.com slash defense.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And also the whole idea of Miss America is I'm gorgeous in the bathing suit, but I really want to be a nuclear scientist. And so I need a scholarship.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
When this was happening to her, television was still a sponsored medium. It's not like there are streamers today. And mostly they were concerned about Kraft Cheese not wanting to be associated with her and therefore not doing the show. So they would get rid of the problem because they didn't want to get rid of the money.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And that also morphed as more different channels began showing up that were not supported by advertising. But on a movie, on the studio level, then it becomes an ethical decision. It's like, how hurt do we think we're going to be by this? Because they don't have sponsors to concern themselves. But they have stockholders, but that's another story.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
It's not gay enough. You think? And it's very self-referential. So, I mean, as I suppose it should be. But why not? And these flowers are even, these are, oh, well, they're plastic. They're plastic, they are. They're not, you know, it's a gay touch, sort of. Yeah. But it's lovely. What's not to love? And you got, you know, color-coded pink and purple microphones. Isn't that nice?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Absolutely true.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And she says it's so exciting to have...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
to have a black president she said but you know we're all sitting here waiting to see what the verdict will be if it will be we had a black president wasn't he wonderful who was that half black guy who fucked everything up right i know it's wild and you know that's uh wanda but um yeah well that's how you felt because there's so much on her shoulders because you know i mean it's the lena horn story right you know it's it's uh you're the one yeah so you have to be perfect to be perfect yeah
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Have I? I have a Twitter, a twat. I have a twat account, but I never post. I read other things. There are a lot of good naked people on there, so that's fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I think so, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I did. You know, I probably didn't get laid. That's the problem. I was only on there to get laid.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
That was me, or that could have been fake me. There are a lot of fake me's out there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Here's the hair, here's the lessons. There's one reason why I don't do it. But also it's too soul draining. I'm on Facebook, which I call sit on my Facebook because I also am looking to get laid there because I can't go on Grindr. Why? Because they don't want to have sex with me. I mean, the ones who do, I'm not interested in.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And they'd want to meet me or something else, but I wouldn't be on Grindr for that. So I find it doesn't work for me to be real. Or you get reported as a catfish. And, you know, it needs to kind of age out. And then you get into people who are, like, too kinky for me. You know, I'm very vanilla.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
One of my favorite old jokes, this is from George Slaughter who created Laugh-Em, a favorite who I worked with on a million different things. Oh, wow. It's hysterically funny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
uh he said uh it's a guy picks up a girl at the bar and they go home and uh and she says do you want to get kinky and he says yeah and she says hang on i'll change she goes upstairs and uh she comes down about five minutes later and he's on his way out the door she's with her full dominatrix outfit she says where are you going i thought she'd want to you wanted to be kinky he said yeah i did i shit in your hat and your cat i'm out of here oh let's take a break
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
They all look like, you know, I mean, horses when they're happy. Studs, at least.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Do we have sponsors? Am I not allowed to say those things?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Thank you. There you go.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I was, briefly, for Lane Bryant, which is no longer among us, but it was like plus size fashions for the forgotten woman. For children. But they decided there were not enough fat women in the country, so they were looking for fat kids. And what was it? It was called Chubby something? It was Charming Chubs. Charming Chubs. Cute little child models. Yes. Stylish stouts. And then I became a husky.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
My career ended. Because husky, you're neither man nor boy. And nothing fits. Not a girl, not yet a woman. Anything that does fit is sincere sucker. So, you know, you just, it's a fool's errand. Yeah. It didn't last and I can't find the photos. And I think that's probably a good thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
It could be. I may have to. And if Lane Bryant is gone, they can't sue you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
What is it with them? What was it like working with them? Oh, what was it like working with them? Well, I did the Brady Bunch Variety Hour, which was after the Sherwood Schwartz empire. That was, he created the Brady Bunch. Yeah. And it was after the series was off the air on ABC, but it was in reruns all over the place. Right. And as a result. It's the one with the pool, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
It's the one with the pool.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Fred Silverman, who was running ABC at the time, and believed in teams for variety shows. Donny and Marie, he came up with. Tony and Cher, that was, Tony Redondo and Dawn, all of those things were his ideas. And he was looking for the Partridge family to do, because they were a singing act on their show. And it would make sense for them to do a variety show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
But Shirley Jones and David Cassidy didn't want to do that. And Susan Day, they were all out of there already. So he went, he said, oh, well, the Brady Bunch, because the Brady kids had an act. which they would do like the state fairs and stuff like that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
This was, well, yes, we got fake Jan.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
No, no, Eve Plum wouldn't do it. Eve Plum had broken away and become a TV movie star in a movie called Dawn, Portrait of a Teenage Runaway.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And so she was Brady free. So we got, we organized, auditioned for a Jan, a fake Jan.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I was in the fake Jan auditions and it came down to two girls. Two girls. One was Jerry Reichel who got the part and the other was a girl who became Kathy Hilton. Mother of Paris.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Oh, yeah, they do, actually. Yes. I mean, I wasn't... When I was living in West Hollywood at both Tender Queens, a restaurant there, and on Halloween would come and I'd be on my balcony and I would watch the Bruces go by. There was a period where there was... It was an easy thing for a fat guy to do, just put on a blonde wig and a T-shirt that said something obscene, and it was me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And we joke about it whenever I run into her. She was the almost fake Jan. I think she turned out okay. She did very well. Every time she says, I'm so glad I didn't get that part. Yeah, I think she did okay. Jerry is now riding the fake Jan gravy train. I mean, you know, she's came out and said, I am fake Jan. And of course with the internet, you know, she's become a little star, which is great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
She's a lovely woman. But so they, we had to concoct this variety series that had a storyline with the family and also had big production numbers. And Florence, of course, Florence Henderson was a Broadway star and Vegas star and could do anything. My god, her singing. And the kids, you know, some of them were better than others, but they could all kind of clomp around, sing and dance.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Robert Reed was the only, you know, the one who was like alien, in alien turf. And that's all in the book, by the way, because that's one of my favorite disasters.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I don't know if it's okay to promote people to steal a show on YouTube, but I don't think... They were available when the Brady movie came out, which was a satire of the Brady Bunch. Incredible. Nickelodeon discovered, which is owned by Paramount, discovered that they owned... the Brady Bunch Variety Hour. And so they programmed it on Nickelodeon, Nick at night.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And I got a call one night from this guy, stoned out of his mind saying, dude, dude, I'm watching this thing on TV and Bob Reed, Robert Reed, the dad from the Brady Bunch, he's doing Carmen Miranda and your name is on it. Dude, how did this happen? A precursor to my book, basically.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Because he's not a singer-dancer. Yeah, exactly right, yes. And also in there we had Farrah Fawcett and Lee Majors. Yeah, because... There were a couple at the time. And Donny and Marie showed up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, you know, it was produced by Sid and Marty Croft, who had produced the Donny and Marie show. And Donny and Marie opened with an ice rink. And what they call the ice angels, but the Mormons didn't like that. So they became the Croftettes, I think. So and that worked great. And so Sid thought, well, let's do it with water ballet on this one. So we had the Croft water ballerinas.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And it was hysterical because it was supposed to be the pool at their house at the beach. so there's this gigantic pool and beyond it is the pacific ocean which sort of like i'm gonna say as a viewer i never got that no but we were we were shrieking up on the on the set watching the whole thing and all that and of course it was always a bonus the crew loved it because there was a tank
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And the tank had portholes so they could put the cameras in the portholes and shoot the underwater stuff on the ballet. So the crew loved to come to rehearsals to watch the croftets swimming, you know, from underneath. You know, all this stuff would be going, swimming by. And we used to have to peel some of the kids off of the... Because they're glued to it like the TV.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Oh, yeah, because it was like softcore porn watching all these women kicking and...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yes, it was... The template for that was the Jack Benny show, which was... Jack Benny was a comedian, and his show was about him and his life in Beverly Hills, and he puts on a show. So part of the show was... his show with an audience. And part of it was preparing for the show in Beverly Hills. So, and he would have a guest, he had Marilyn Monroe.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
The eyewear also. The eyewear, the red glasses, yes. It's easy to find, that's true. I always wore glasses, but when I was on Hollywood Squares, I had different glasses every night, but then the prescription changed, and I would have to take a second mortgage to get them all. It happened that week on the show we had Sally Jessie Raphael.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And so he had, you know, Marilyn Monroe comes for tea or something with his wife. And then they do the show where Marilyn's on the show. So that was the template for it. And it was the Brady Bunch do a television show. They have a variety show. And they open it with the swimming number at their home. And then they go in.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
But there was always a backstory about what they did on the show, around the show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I mean, they knew because they would show up in the opening number in spangly Pete Menifee costumes. The costumes are fucking great. Yeah, they're great. Fucking beautiful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
No. No, I think I'd met her before then. But I don't actually remember where I first met her. I think I met her with Brooke Shields when she was doing the sitcom.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
oh um suddenly susan yeah i think i met her there yeah i wasn't working on it but i was there for something i think brooke was doing the american comedy awards or something like that you were auditioning for the new brooke i was yeah and kathy was there and i met kath i think that's where i actually met her but um do you got any fucking wild like hollywood square stories you know it's it's bizarre because uh um i was a head writer and i was i always say i was
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
A square. I was to the left of Whoopi, if that's possible. But it was a very efficient organization. And the fun of it was the nine people showing up and doing five shows on a Saturday and five shows on a Sunday. So we only worked 36 days a year because we would do a week in a day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Life to tape. Yeah. So we tried to keep it as close to the air date as possible so it was topical. Yeah. But basically, people were on good behavior most of the time. Right. Because if you weren't, there were like eight other people going, girl. Yeah. You know, girl, I mean, Roseanne was in a foul mood. Uh, and so she kind of, I think she still is. Oh, well, she's one of her 43, you know, people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And I've worked with her and I keep saying, I would say to her, would you please ask number 16 to start talking to number 32? Cause we're not getting any work done. Right. But I mean, she's, you know, she's, she's her own case study. I love her on a journey. She's her own case study. She's, you know, now she's a,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
that facing us so that we could see big like uh teleprompter monitors but um so that we could see what was happening we could see what the shot was right oh right and so we could we could we could see what other people were up to and all that as it as it went to that but It must have been fun being in it. And once there was cross-talking, they would be going back and forth.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And that was, of course, my favorite moment when I guess the YouTube thing that gets a lot of comment is, you fool, which was a woman was... She needed one square to get the win, and she could not get the right answer. And it started with Gilbert Gottfried, who, when she didn't agree with him, said, you fool. And it went on like that. Penn and Teller were on there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Who was, you know, for those of you who are too young to remember, a talk show host who did a kind of Oprah sort of show in the daytime. And she had, she was blonde with red glasses. Right. We had the same lawyer, actually. So I said, I said, I have to get all these glasses changed. She said, she said, I said, she said, well, you can have red ones if you want. I said, no, but that's your brand.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
This woman liked it about six times, and finally she won the thing. Thank God. And it's a very funny clip on YouTube.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
watching because everybody kind of begins to lose it because it's so it's so insane it's like things you never expected would happen do these squares would ever come back it is coming back it is it's coming back in january on cbs with drew barrymore in the center square and nate burleson uh who if you don't know if you watch uh cbs mornings with gail king he's the black guy are you tony the white guy and nate burleson's the black guy are you gonna go back
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I don't think so. Be a guest at least. I'd love to, but no one's called. This is an official casting call. That's right. If you're watching, I'm happy to go back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, this is going to be one of those primetime hours, probably after like two FBI shows on CBS, like 10 o'clock on a Wednesday. But so it'll only be once a week, like Alec Baldwin doing a match game and name that tune with Jane Krasinski. So it's Jane Krasinski. I think I've made just Krakowski. I just made a child of her and Emily Blunt.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And Dolly. Oh, Dolly said that she had one and she lost two. I kind of believe Dolly. I believe Dolly. I don't think Dolly would ever lie. You have a new project coming out with Dolly. I do. I wrote a musical with Dolly during COVID. It's called Here You Come Again. Sounds like a porno, but isn't. And it's about a 40-year-old. I think you tweeted that, too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
That's true, yes. It's about a 40-year-old gay comic who's never happened, who's working in the comedy club as a waiter in New York. COVID hits. The club closes down. He has to isolate, quarantine in the attic of his parents' home in Longview, Texas, where he has an intimate relationship with his imaginary friend, Dolly Parton.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
She steps out of a poster and she basically, in 12 easy songs, fixes him up. Does she play, is she in it? No, no. Somebody's going to play her. An actress named Tricia Paoluccio, who has played her in various 9 to 5s and Patsy Cline shows. She's franchising. Franchising. She's 3D printing dollies. We wrote it together with her husband, Gabriel Barry, who's the director, who directed it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And we got a grant, and we did a Zoom. Oh, my God. And I had to go to Dolly for the rights, and I didn't think she would go for it, but she loves it. She's our partner. And we did five regional productions, and now we're doing a six-month tour of the UK, and we will be going into London after the first of the year.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And she said, I'm retiring. I said, oh, may I? So I took the red glasses and that's all I wear now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Oh, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, a lot of people have.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, I saw her at the ball. She got slightly political. Trump was running, I think, the first time and she indicated her displeasure with the gist of the campaign. But it was a very Dolly kind of thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, exactly. I mean, she goes for basic human issues because she doesn't, she's never really political. No. I mean, but she's incredibly philanthropic, so.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And she always has been saying for years, if I were a man, I'd be a drag queen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, I was Santa Claus once. That's right. In an early one. And then I was a comedy mentor and a judge four or five times. And what's interesting to me about it is when I started, it was the early days of Drag Race. And they said, well, we want you to mentor the comedy team. And people at that time were either gorgeous, lip-syncing replicas of... Of stars.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You know, Bo Jarrett or something like that. Or they were people like Bianca who had worked clubs every night of their life and knew how to work a room. And I said, it's not fair. It's apples and oranges. I mean, you can't hit them in comedy. Okay, so...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Now, lap does off to the last time I was on where all of the little queens at home watching discover that to win the thing, they have to be everything. You do. They have to be funny. They have to be able to sing. They have to do the split. They have to make their own clothes. They have to live with each other in a motel. So they've learned how to do that. So now they're all like mega queens.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
It's crazy. They're all like lab created diamonds. It's really amazing. But they all have comedy chops. They've all figured out what they can do. that will get them through that part of it. Even the ones who aren't funny, obviously have got people coming in with, you know, advising them when they, when they create this persona that they're going to use on the show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
So it's a whole different ball game now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I did hairspray for two years in New York. On Broadway, yeah, I did a year, the first national tour, and then on Broadway for a year.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I loved it. Well, I was touring, you know, in a first-class Broadway show when I was a star. So I was like, you know, limos, suites. Diamonds, movie stars. Exactly right, movie stars. Did you like doing the drag? Well, yeah. I mean, it's not like something I would do every now and again. But we had it down to a sign, so I would come in like an hour before and we would get it all done.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, we'd have to do the wig hair every night. And I wore a 35-pound fat suit, which was basically on top of my own God-given fat suit. It was kind of like it was a corset and with huge jugs. And it weighed 35 pounds. And then in the last...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
scene of the show is uh she's in this fabulous red beaded oh yeah for the reveal which was another 40 pounds of beading so i was carrying around 75 pounds and wearing what we used to call at lane bryant fat lady shoes which were two and three quarter inch heels lady bunny shoes Could be. I don't know. I never examined her feet. My shoes? That's not my fetish.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
But so your whole center of gravity changes. Right. Which is why I have my foot in the brace now. I'm convinced. I never missed a show. But it's because your body is used to carrying your weight around a certain way. And when you change that, all your joints say, hold on. Yeah. We're going to...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
realign you now oh yeah and you're without you knowing it but suddenly it begins to happen so that that would those are the perils of drag but you know i was doing that kind of drag i was i was doing a plus size you know plus size broad so it wasn't and also it wasn't a drag it wasn't a drag performance in the sense of a woman in quotes it was this woman
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Oh, yeah. I want to say Carol Kane, but it wasn't Carol Kane. It was someone like that. She's so gorgeous. Like Annie Potts or somebody like that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
John Waters invented it for Divine, so she was doing a certain kind of woman that you were doing, a working class woman from Baltimore. And she wasn't commenting on anything. She was real and warm and in a real marriage and with a real love for her daughter and all of those things. She just was extreme in the way she expressed herself. So it was, you were acting a role.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You weren't just being a woman, being in drag for the, to be in drag. Of course, it's unfortunately part of the whole of woke culture has been to downgrade all of that because they're drag queens. And then there are characters like Mrs. Doubtfire and Tootsie who are men who put on dresses. For a purpose. For a purpose. And they learn something as a result. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And somehow that's become square and old fashioned that. When a man is a woman, he suddenly realizes that there are other things in the world besides what he's always liked as a man. Didn't you do a film kind of about this, like a body switch film? I did. Well, I was in a documentary. Was I in a body switch film?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Did I? I don't think I wrote one. I don't remember. Was I in one?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Pile them on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I wrote 25 Oscar shows. I am the EGOT of award shows. You are. Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tonys. I've written them all. I'm not the only one. There are several people who've written all four of them. That must be a madhouse. Multiple times.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
but uh i hate using that word multiple because they so it's everywhere now multiple uh but yeah but i have written and i did do 25 and we won two emmys for two of the oscar shows which confused my mother until her dying day you won an emmy for the oscars yeah right
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
wow right two emmys for the what's the most chaotic one like leading up to what's the most chaotic one of all the types of word shows what's the one where you're like oh girl here we go uh uh that's a very good question i think it's probably the grammys because it's all musicians right and also of course uh it's become a concert show and it always was but the the It had a host who was more hosty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I hate that. Well, you know, it means it's old school and it's not leading lady. Right. It's a it's a supporting part. And it's it's so she's not the romantic interest in the picture. Right. So she's a character actor. She becomes and that it just it's bled down from the studio system. It's one of those things that remains.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Right. You know, Billy Crystal, those kinds of hosts. Whoopi. It wasn't... Now they have, you know, LL Cool J or... Well, now they have Trevor Noah, so it's more of a host thing than they used to have. But... Well, you did the Oscars. But the real clusterfucks were like the People's Choice Awards and the American Comedy Awards was hilarious because...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Every category was funny and everybody had to be funny. And it was comics playing for an audience of comics, which you're in danger of people... You say something and they go, funny, funny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
They are. And they are at the top of their game. They're doing these numbers eight times a week. That they do all the time. Yeah. And so they, and they're all stage performers. So they when they get up on stage in front of an audience, they know what to do. Right. You know, in the movies, you get movie stars who only work for a camera. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You know, no one's ever done Johnny Depp at residency at Caesars.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You know, you never saw Keanu Reeves live in Central Park. Right. I mean, these are movie stars and they get it. And so this is not their comfort zone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
So even the ones who came from theater originally kind of sometimes forgot they came from theater. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You know, when they're not playing that character. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Very much so. That's when they're accepting an award, you know, and,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, there's a cycle, wegotbruce.com. And it's run by a fan, and he knows what I'm doing. I check up every morning to see what I'm up to. Love that. Because he knows more than I. And he publishes all the rumors and all that kind of stuff. And it's not true about me and Zac Efron. I'm sorry. It's just not true. I couldn't with anybody that muscular who's Jewish. I couldn't. It's not true.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I couldn't. As a Jew, I couldn't do that. Unless he was Israel.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Bye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, it's very difficult, I think, to be gorgeous and funny. I mean, that's why Lucy O'Ball was such a huge star because she was spectacular. I mean, she was a showgirl, but yet she did all this physical stuff and she was funny. I mean, she had intense, amazing timing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
and uh you know you find people who have that julia roberts is very funny yeah and renee zellweger and uh reese witherspoon i mean they all have they've got comic chops so they can they can carry that stuff the romantic stuff as well rom-coms if they ever come back rom-coms i just watched pretty woman for the very first time really i'd never seen it i watched it last week my god did i cry Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, yeah, it's Gary Marshall. He knew what he was up to. When he shows up in the limo, like her story about the white horse, I was watching it like, oh my God. And because it's so, even then it was kind of like, really, does this really happen? It was a fairy tale. It was, you know, it was kind of fun. I mean, I want to find a rich guy who's going to let me loose on Rodeo Drive.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, she did kind of have like a bob like yours in the beginning.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
every time i found somebody that you knew it was attached to another project that i knew attached to another thing i've seen you really when people have you on things your bio is like a scroll that hits the floor i've been around and when you do award shows you meet a lot of people but i had an agent once who said you know i went on your imbd you can lose the last few pages you can just because it makes you seem much older than you are i said i'm exactly as old as
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I am. And I have nothing to hide. And, I mean, I've written a book about that. Oh, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I have a book because I would do podcasts like this with people your age and younger. And they would ask me about these pieces of crap that I wrote in the 70s.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
oh no i'm going to ask about some of those pieces of crap i'm wearing one right now the paul lind halloween special because i refuse to let go of halloween i don't care how early mariah carey makes us love christmas i am hanging on to halloween this was one of them star wars holiday special the brady bunch variety hour i mean and they kept and they saw them all on youtube
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And their question to, to a of them was, how did this happen? Yeah. Who said yes to this? And so I thought there's a book here. So I've written a book about how I wrote the worst TV shows of all time and lived. And it's called, it seemed like a bad idea at the time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And I've extended it to movies like Can't Stop the Music, which I wrote the Village People movie I wrote the first draft of, and Broadway and other places where I've had disasters. Yeah. So... You wrote a song for the Village People. I wrote... Yes, I did. I did an album for the Village People, which was actually banned by the BBC. Why?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Because we had a song called Sex Over the Phone that became a big hit in England. And the BBC said it was not to their standard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I think exactly. It predated all of that. This is in the 80s. Right. So, well, I was actually in the middle of all of that. So it was a sex positive message as I think about it. But yeah, they banned it. And as a result, we made a lot of money on it. So, you know, I always recommend getting banned because that wants to the flame.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
That's funny. I didn't know that. You get good attention. I'd never heard that, but, yeah, I mean, people who, you know, I mean, it's a traditional thing to do. You know, I mean, there's a word for it now. It's like, I don't know, not, I can't think of the word, but it's what people often do, just, you know, fake. It's just fake news. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
They plant stuff to draw attention to whatever the thing they want to have attention drawn to, and then the fake stuff kind of goes away, and Yeah. When did you start? I mean, you kind of also know all the drag queens. I do. Well, I started in Chicago when I was at the Chicago Tribune writing for the old school legendary drag queens who came through town.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Charles Pierce, Lynn Carter, Jim Bailey, Craig Russell. I wrote for all four of them at once at the same time, which was strange because if one didn't like the Mae West joke, I would give it to the other one who did the Mae West joke. That's just economical. I knew it worked. It was all personal taste.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And then it just kind of extended, although this whole new drag phenomenon came much later than that. I mean, there were certain people who broke through, like Jim Bailey was a Vegas headliner. Right. But mostly it was drag queens and drag bars, and it slowly crept in. RuPaul came along, and it transformed the whole thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
No, well, the brand is love. And if you're not going to love yourself, who else are you going to love? So, I mean, it's all framed in that. And from the very beginning, from the moment that he was noticed, in the first book, we talk about the ritual of getting into this character. And it is just all about love. So it comes from a different place. Drag was traditionally satirical.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Sorry, I'm looking at the microphone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, he was doing his VH1 show. Oh, the RuPaul show. The RuPaul show. And I met him and he came up to me and he said, Bruce Valanche, you're in mahogany. Yeah. 32 minutes in. Yeah. So I raced home and put the VHS in the tape. And 32 minutes in, and there I am. I thought, not for nothing is this guy RuPaul. Yeah. This guy's going to go places. Yeah. This is a precision instrument.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, he's obsessed with Diana Ross, as we all love it. Well, yeah, of course. You work with Diana so much, too. Well, I think, you know, a lot of black gay guys were obsessed with Dionne Warwick and Diana Ross because they were, and Diane Carroll, because they were glamorous musicians. old school glamour. And there wasn't much of that, you know, for black guys to emulate.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And so they latched on to that because that's what they wanted to be when they got into their drag personas. They wanted to be glamorous people. And they are.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Hello, my camera. This is you. This is me. This is a fabulous profile shot of me, which is amazing. I do kind of look like Alfred Hitchcock.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I know, nuts. It was nuts. But you know, the unfortunate thing is so much is branding. Miss America is a brand. And she was the first black Miss America and it was a big deal. And then of course, art studies surfaced. as they do for many gorgeous girls who need to put bread on the table. Right. Or not bread. When you eat bread, that's too fattening. But other things on the table.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
The suggestion of bread. The suggestion. Muck bread. So it was a gigantic scandal because the brand was so lily white and wholesome. And here she comes along, and we discover that she has a sordid past. Right. So back then, that was quite a big deal. Of course, now Miss America is kind of like, it's been duplicated by so many other pageants.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Grauman's Chinese theater. Or the TLC theater.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I fell asleep on the couch last night, which did not help my back. Are you depressed? No, I just was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was the Thanksgiving episode. I don't love that episode. So I fell asleep. So I wake up, I'm in pain, right? I wake up the way I wake up every morning lately. I try to lift my head and I'm wincing. I'm going, it's been horrible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Wait, that's the same theater, right? Fans saw me and came up and, you know, it always feels very corny to get recognized on Hollywood Boulevard because it feels like I'm out there going, I'm me. You're doing the... Soap dish. Yeah, exactly. You're taking yourself to the mall and cheating out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
So I turn on the TV because I like to watch the news. And what do I see? Badlands in Sacramento. Do you remember that gay bar? I'm sure you performed there. Lovely place. Hello, hello. Burned down. And now that my beautiful bar closed, I feel like I can be more loose lipped about the industry and some of the issues and the problems, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I turn on the news and I see that this bar in Sacramento called Badlands has banned their political. They've banned political attire at the bar. They're like, just come here and drink. Leave your politics at the door. But then I guess that was the original thought. But the thought became banning just mega shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
So you couldn't come to the gay bar where the gays and bisexuals and trans and bi people, you know, pansexual people live and drink and wear your red hat and shit. And why would you though? That's my thought. Because people were doing it, I wonder? Well, then the news, they had the nerve to say on the news, they had a Republican on there saying, it's bullying a community.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
mama that's like racist towards white folks that is fucking racist towards white people it's not a thing and Miss Thing who came on the TV gave deep in the closet yeah yeah yeah she came on in her like her like laminated brows and she was like it seems unfair that's like I'm gonna go fuck my wife that's neither here nor there the point is like you just shut up Why do you need to go to that bar?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Also, why do you need to know whose penis I'm putting my, um, no, no. Whose body I'm putting my penis into. I'm obsessed with these country videos of people trying to go into gay bars and mega shit. And these, what are they looking for? These bartenders with the little mullets just go get the fuck out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
We don't want your money. We don't want your friends here. Get out. I mean, imagine I'm rolling up to the Eagle with a MAGA hat 2am or this bunch of horny bears around. They're going to kick your ass. I know. And it's hard because obviously I know this. Gay bars are harder and harder to keep open in 2025. So turning away any business seems crazy, but get your fucking red hat the fuck out of here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Go down to Chili's and leave us alone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And for 18 bucks, you will get a thimble of liqueur in that drink. Oh yeah. It's a milkshake with about a half a cup or half a teeny little thingy of a fucking whatever. I just was gagged because it's like- That's weird. For them to say it's discrimination, I'm like, A, why do you want to come in here? Why do you want to drink here?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And this paraphernalia, you're wearing it to signal that you make a hobby out of trying to snatch the rights out of my little denim skort pocket. Yeah. It's like going down to elementary school and just kicking kids in the face. What's up with that? Well, that sounds kind of fun, actually. I just was watching the news gag.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. And so this person comes up and is so excited and goes, but it's like TikTok brain rot. So it's just... Wait. No, wait.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
The word bullying being used, I was like, bullying? Yeah. Mama. Bullying. Why is it? I mean, I feel like. So go off Badlands. I love you. Go off Badlands.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I will say as the world has gotten crazier, my taste for television has gotten even worse. Yeah. What are we watching now? Like now it's not enough for me to goon and watch Natalia Grace. Okay, who's that? Who's that? Natalia Grace?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It was this young woman who was adopted by an American family. I could be paraphrasing. Don't fact check me, people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
But the program is called The Curious Case of Natalia Grace.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
That's fun. Yeah. It's kind of a fun little, yeah. Which, which channel is it on? I was one of the crazy ones. Yeah. Probably TLC. And she, her family decided that she was secretly older. It was like part of the inspiration for the orphan.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Her family decided to age in a form of dwarfism where they were like, eventually they saw in a bathtub that she had pubes and they were like, she's secretly 30 and they got her an apartment and took this like, and gave her an apartment and just left her there for years. And so it's kind of an abuse story. That's so weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, so now there's a dramatization starring that woman from Grey's Anatomy. What's her name? Ellen Pompeo. Is that her? So now I'm going to have to watch that. You have to. Of course.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Because I did watch both seasons.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
So the first season of Natalia Grace is the parents speaking out, being like, she was horrible. She ruined our lives. And the second season, Natalia Grace is the main character. And she said...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
What are we waiting for? We're in the middle of the street. And it's like the targeted ads on TikTok where they're selling clothes and it's just some girl pulling up tights over an ass going like, oh my God, wait. But oh my God, wait.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
open the fuck up and she sits down across her legs and trials the realty that she's basically abused and they said that this happens people with no birth certificates from other countries they come in and they get re-aged oh my god renamed re-aged and then you know nine years old you're 18 bye it's like it's like 30 rock is like you know your cousin jeffrey um used to be a girl or no i figured it was an accident with a hot comb you know what i mean
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Well, if you're using a hot comb to straighten your pubes, I don't know. Straightening the pubes? Wait, you're older? My child is actually 30. Because she had pubes. Which, by the way, people can mature at all different times of their life. There's a spectrum of age range. Not to mention, she has a form of dwarfism. Are you an expert on what her body does when? My child identifies as 35. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's a crazy program. It was very hard to watch that type of abuse. Are they in jail now? Those parents? I think they're vibing. That's the thing about these documentaries. There's really no justice. It's just kind of like, don't you think it is? They probably can't go to the grocery store anymore.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I have a really hard time with it, but what is it? You'll hate it then.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You're allowed to like what you like. Yeah. I mean, and they encourage us to tell the truth. Yeah, I never... Plus, it's not them anyways. It's... I never feel ever, ever feel censored at that job, ever. Not like here, where I'm told, you know... You're too sexy. Yeah. Cover up. Cover that skin. Exactly. Too sexy. So... Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by VIA. VIA. VIA.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
V-I-I-A. Now let me tell you, I know how to say VIA. Not because it naturally came to me, okay? But because it really transformed the way I obtain THC products. You guys know, I'm like a late in life weed person, right? So by the time everybody knew how to do that, I kind of had to like, you know... figure this out on my own.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And what I love about Viya is that it's changed the game in natural wellness, combining high quality hemp derived ingredients with powerful cannabinoids to create real effect driven results. What I love about it is I think when it comes to your THC or cannabis or CBD experience, it's like, what do you really want? And you have to know what you want. Do you want better sleep?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Do you want to be a little more creatively focused? Do you want a little boost in the bedroom? Honestly, for me, I love it because after a stressful day of being in drag and making videos and running around, it's a great way for me to transition to me time where I'm just like cooking and maybe listen to a podcast and, you know, unraveling after a day of, you know, unraveling myself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And I love it because the levels can be zero to, you know, high cannabinoid levels and there's options for everyone. So whether you're like me, where like you kind of want the training wheels or you're like my My, you know, my mom who pretty much can take a heavy hit and keep kicking. So if you're 21 plus, treat yourself to Viya's annual spring 420 sale.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
What?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Black Friday level savings up to 35% site-wide right now. Up to 50% off packs and bundles. And get a free gift plus more savings with your first order using our exclusive code BALD at the link in the description. Plus, enjoy free shipping on orders over $200. Like I said, one of my favorite things about it is that it's so customizable.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
What's not tea? This like really isn't tea. What isn't tea? Are we past the point of no return in regard to language? Girl, I think it's done.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
If you're like me and you don't maybe have a high tolerance, it's great because you feel taken care of. You can enter your experience feeling like you're set up for success. If you're 21 plus, check out the link to Viya in our description and treat yourself to Viya's annual spring 420 sale. Black Friday level savings of 35% site-wide right now with 50% off packs and bundles.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And get a free gift plus more savings with your first order using our exclusive code BALD. Plus enjoy free shipping on orders over $100. So that's code BALD at the link in the description. After you purchase, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them we sent you. Enhance your everyday with Vaya.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Wait. Oh my God, wait.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
In the spirit of transparency, I didn't know what we were going to talk about today, so I took it upon myself to use my own money to go down to the El Capitan Theater and see Snow White this morning. Hold on. I'm going to do this. Okay, here we go. Here we go. 10 a.m. showing on Hollywood Boulevard. Okay, here we go. So... Can I just say, it's not for you. It has everything you wouldn't like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Wait. I don't know. The way it... Wait. Wait. I don't like that. It makes me think of the crosswalks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
No shit. It has good feelings. You had me at Gal Gadot singing. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me everything. You know, I went because I really thought it was going to be the ultimate stinker. And I was like, I was like. Yeah. You were hungry. And I thought I would be able to come in here and like get a good story for you. You brought toilet paper, didn't you? It wasn't bad enough to be funny bad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It was just, it never really took off for me. Yeah. Never took off for me. Yeah. You gotta really like earnestness and like musical theater vibes to like that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I mean, well, Rachel Ziegler's an incredible singer.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
That's kind of not negotiable. She's a great singer.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And it's a retelling. This is super spoiler. None of the people who listen to us are going to see that. Maybe they are.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
They are all animated. Oh, I don't like that. They're mixing and matching? They're all animated. So it's Polar Express vibes with the faces. I mean, they're animated.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Really good animation, I thought.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Well, there was a little person in the movie who played a, like a hero character.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
So the dwarves were not little people. The dwarves were.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. They were hundreds of years old. They were creatures.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
They're not human. So when they see her, they go, oh my God, it's a human. Gotcha. Gotcha.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. You are not Peter Dinklage. And when she sees them, she's not scared. Okay. She's like, oh, hello.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
How would you characterize it? Well, can I say Gal Gadot looked cunt? Of course, because she does. She got her head-to-toe jeweled in the gown. I saw the drag queen jewelry neck thing. Mary. It's cunty. The girls at Mickey's are hot gluing right now. Oh, and Morgan McMichaels is literally- The girls are getting ready. Black smoke is churning out into the atmosphere right now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I know. The girls are ready to do their dangerous woman number to her or something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Wait for the perfect lighting to hit you at that diet. I don't like that crosswalk in any way, shape, or form. I don't walk it. I don't drive through it. I avoid it. The crossy walk. The crossy walk. The crosswalk. It's hard, heavy, bricky tea in that crosswalk. Crosswalk. And you know what I do love though?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
The song had an Amelia Perez vibe. I'm going to be honest. Really? It did.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I thought some of the music was really nice. There was a song called Waiting on a Wish that I liked. But I kind of... Can I also say, Rachel Ziegler's a very beautiful woman. They have her in this Lord Farquaad cut that is so diabolical.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Girl... So I liked some of the songs. The good things grow. The opening song, waiting a wish. That was great. Obviously in some of the old shit, hi-ho slaps. I don't care who you are. It's off to work. We go. Gotcha. Sucking on it. Sucking on it. Titty, titty, titty. It was, that was fun. Giving them, giving them, giving them blow job.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
She should have sang all of her songs and she should have lip synced like the old days. It's I mean, it wasn't to be honest. I think that I was expecting it to be a complete mess. It just doesn't lift off the way you want it to.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
But obviously live action. I tend to never like that anyway. So I'm not the audience. I didn't like Beauty and the Beast. I don't care for that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And also, I went into it knowing I'm not a child. There was children in the theater. They loved it. Did they really like it? Yeah, so I'm not there to hate at all. Yeah, but I really think that- They got her in the good drag makeup. And how many people look good with their hair gone and just a nun cut out of the base? But wait, there was a girl on TikTok.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You know, I don't love the portrayal because I can kind of forgive actors who aren't super actors doing singing in a movie. It's all Melodyne to hell. What does that mean? It's so auto-tuned. It all gives glee. It's all just that level pop singing anyway.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's like a tool. Okay. So it just wasn't for me, but Gal Gadot had the good, when she first came out, she's standing in front of this mirror and there's this magic shit happening and she's doing the mirror mirror. I was like, Oh, my nipples are hard. Cause she really is. Cunty. Cunty. But also in that, in that story, why she's too cunty. Cause she's like fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Obviously she's the fiercest of them all. What's the, what's the, what's the problem? Well, it was a kind of a reimagining the storyline. She's not saved by a prince. She's saved by like a poor person who sounds woke. Yeah. Yes. Very well. And then they're together. Like, let's let's take it. Let's make sure everyone's happy again. You know, it's very sweet. So but she wasn't jealous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
She wasn't very jealous. Like a rat searching for a food. She's jealous of the beauty. That's the main thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I don't... Because the mirror says that Miss Snow White is prettier. And so she gets cooked and plucked. The mirror ages Snow White. She says that's the 35. No, the mirror goes... Well, you're not giving any more because this... You know, Snow White, who is the... She's up and coming legendary.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, up and coming legendary children who got the good face smash in Turkey, and now she's giving the girls the boop. Her plugs have healed. It's curtains for you, baby. And none of them fell out. Yeah, what are you hiding underneath that? Give up, jobless. give up jobless jobless. So, um, it was fine. It wasn't for you, but I didn't walk out. I stayed till the end. That's impressive.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And this is kind of like, maybe I used to like pimple popping videos or maybe then I used to like the Korean baking videos. I'm trying to get into those by the way. My new thing I like is those videos of, let's say it's a butt where you've lost 300 pounds.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Cause I, I do be walking out of theaters these days. If it do stink like shit. The only thing I missed was in the cartoon, which I do love. Hmm.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
when they kill the queen she's as the old hag yeah and she falls off the cliff I believe right and she screams and it's scary as hell yeah she's the one with the apple right God wasn't very scary but did she have an apple she had an apple or I was gonna say it was a banana or something she had an apple it was just it was a green juice it was very LA oh my god she's like here's a turmeric shot she came door to door with a wellness shot
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I don't think Apatow was as bad as everybody said, but it kind of prevented... When you're not scared of the evil thing, it makes the stakes feel lower. She didn't really scare me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. But like, or give me a, like not, not Eliza Sue, but the one before where Demi's bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Girl. And they were so glittery and cunt. The dude dragged 12 years.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's dimples. It's whatever. Yeah. It's that moment where you pull those tights over. Oh, in a culture. And it all snaps together. And then wait. And then it's thrilling. It's fucking thrilling. You go from, you know, a lot of these people have worked out very hard. It's very gratifying to see somebody who, you know, you have all the extra skin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I don't either.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Lately, I've been spiritually feeling dragged, but physically completely against it. I love the idea of it. The problem is lately it hurts. It's just been hurting. And my back hurts. My arthritis hurts. So the drag on top of that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I get in such a foul mood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just get such a foul mood. That's like when.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, it's corny boots.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Can I tell a story? And you might, we can cut it if we have to. Do you remember what happened in Amherst? I went in your dressing room and you were standing there in drag and you went, oh, I farted. I heard it. And I said, yeah, you heard it? I don't remember that. Wait, I farted and it made a sound? You were in drag and you went, I farted. I just heard it. I just heard. Like, I just heard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
We've just received word. Are you ran through? Is your whole ran through? Is your anus discolored and ran through? It was just like my whole body was ran through and then it had release.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
The other day, this was two days ago, we were shooting at Netflix and it was almost five o'clock and I was starting to just reject the drag. Your body starts to, your involuntary reaction is to tear off the wig. It's physical, spiritual, emotional. It's a full rejection. You fight the urge to rip off the wig and the corset. And our director, who we love, goes, come on, it's not even five o'clock.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And my immediate thought was, I started putting glue on my face, on my face at 6.30 this morning. That's still. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Mary, I recently had an opportunity for a work thing and I said, I turned it down. Well, yes. Yeah, huge if true. But I first wasn't going to. Okay, tell me about it. And it was supposed to be, and I won't say what it is so I can be more clear about it. I was supposed to be one shoot day. We were supposed to do one shoot day. And I said, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And then they said, well, now it's a shoot day and a practice day the day before. And I said, okay. And then they said, well, we need you to come and drag for cameras and lighting and you need to do social the day before. I said, well, that's a two-day shoot. And then they said, the day of the shoot, we will need you in makeup shooting 8.30 a.m. to 8.30 p.m. And I said, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You probably have to feel like you have to hide in clothes. And then they put on the Spanx, the neon Spanx.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You must not know about me. I literally, I just was like, well, I suddenly felt the spirit of you and these big demonic wings blew out of my back. And I said, I just fled the situation. I love that. Cause I was like, is that what you want?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I say, get on the phone, get one of the girls, get Miss Formica table or whoever else, get them to do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You're dealing with fantasy. You got to do animation. Do you know what it makes me think of? The beginning of True Blood where it's the time lapse of like the fox rotting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I look pretty good after 12 hours because I don't have a beard. Yeah. Sweetie. You don't want to know about this attitude after 12 hours in drag. You don't want to know about it. I don't want to know about it. I know. Nobody needs to experience that kind of- If you're cold, they're cold.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
That's fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Love. Because also it takes two hours to get right. Well, I explained this to somebody. I said, you know, the thing is, in the beginning of drag, at most, you're in drag like an hour and 10. The drag shows I wear were 90 minutes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're out there. Two lip syncs that are three minutes long. 12 minutes. You're out there for 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
10, 12 minutes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
That's fucking crazy, actually. Than the RuPaul drag that is like just 12 hours on camera.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's the situation.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's the lighting. It's the filters.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's the filters. It's the lighting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You really had no makeup on?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Did you even contour? I was like this. You didn't contour. One 301 lash.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You didn't look incredible like I was. I was unforgettable. Unforgettable. Do you know how few pieces of jewelry and shoes I had? Do you know I had like three pairs of shoes? You had white shoes and that's it. I had white shoes that I would spray paint and I had a few sets of jewelry. I either had my shitty plastic Claire's jewelry or drag queens had borrowed me giant pageant like platters.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
So there was no middle. Do you want a ring the size of a serving plate or do you want a Claire's like plastic magic eight ball ring? Why did I wear a black wig every episode? Why did I wear a short black $34.99 finger wave wig every single episode? Never wore black wigs in my whole career.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
What is that? What is that? It's identity up in the air. I was like, Jessica? No, I'm Marie. Have you ever been to the El Capitan Theater? Yeah. They had it all decked out for Snow White. I guess when you go see Disney movies, is it all themed? It was all Disney themed in there. There was a little hut. Oh, I don't know. Maybe it was because of the premiere.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
But that was at the TLC Grauman's Chinese Theater, I think. It is TCL. I like to say TLC. If there was a movie theater that just screened TLC shows. Oh, they'd be cunt. My 2,000 pound mother.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
90 Minute Fiance. Yeah. 90 pound fiance. 90 pound fiance. My 2,000 pound mother. 4,000 pound brothers. Girl, all the good ones. Amish of loving it. That sounds like, honestly, I didn't know I was 2,000 pounds. My 9,000 pound baby I didn't know I was pregnant with. Girl. Oh shit. Yes. Yes, girl. Extreme rumspringer. Oh, they just die.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
No, they should throw them out of helicopters and stuff with the bonnet on. Rumspringer. Jerry Rumspringer. The Amish fire up the helicopter. Absolutely. We're going to take six Amish people about to turn 20, and we're going to drop them into a live fire war zone. Into an active volcano and see what happens when things get real. Ooh, girl. This sounds like another TLC show. Oops, I'm trans.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
We're going to kidnap people and give them – we're going to kidnap Republicans. We're going to kidnap conservatives and make them – put them under the knife. From red hat to red hot. Right. My terrible skin, colon, Stephanie's journey. What about the swan? How about the goose? The swan, of course. What about, because it's woke now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's too much. I love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's woke now. The mallard. The mallard. Or the goose? Where are the swan girls? I bet all those veneers popped right off. Sweetie, oh yeah. It's homeless, not toothless. Or toothless, not homeless. Right. What is that from, by the way? It's from Real Housewives. There's a charity called Homeless Not Toothless where they help unhoused people with their teeth.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And she accidentally calls it Toothless Not Homeless. Toothless Not Homeless. Which is fine. I think her heart was in it, but you gotta say it right. You gotta say it right. What do you think about Mario Lopez? Would you fuck him? You know, I saw him at an event once. You did? Yes. He's friends with Vanderpump. Okay. And I saw him at one of her galas and I sat by him at the table.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
He didn't talk much, but he just looked, what about 18? Wet. Yes. Gorgeous, young and wet. His wife cut up his food for him and gave the plate back, which I found kind of like sweet. That's fun. Romantic partners cutting up the food and giving back. I thought that was sweet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
She said no more. She said, I'll get this baddie. Yeah. I have off this weekend. What are you going to do? You're going to work somehow. No, I was going to go camping. Ew. Wait, why? Just to do. What kind of, is it glamping or camping? I was going to rent one of those like small campers and drive it into the desert. It sounds like suicide now that I say it out loud. I was going to cook some meth.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Pick up Jesse Pinkman, grab some beakers and cook some meth. I'm going to moonlight as a crystal maker. My street name is going to be called Dr. Cook.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I'm not in that crosswalk. It's been really hard. It's been really hard. I'm not saying I don't sympathize. I'm saying I don't see her. I had, it's, it's my own journey, my own journey. I have my, I think we talked about this. I don't have the same. I would see a man with my body and have no issue, but on me, I'm like, I guess you shouldn't just go. Of course. Yeah. Kill yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Walter White. Yours would be like- It's not Weinstein. No, no, no. Pinkerton? Jesse Pinkerton? Pinkton? It's Jesse Pinkman. Pinkman. But then he's Mr. Heisenberg. He's Heisenberg.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what is the guy who owns the chicken, the evil chicken guy? Oh, Gus Fring. Gus Fring. What a character. Love him. Love him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Pookie Wilson. Pookie Wilson.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Pookie Wilson and the Crystalettes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
So now I got off. I got off for the weekend. You're not going to go camping. I wouldn't go camping. These are my plans.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I'm going to deep clean my spice cabinet, throw away spices. This is country. And, you know, got to consolidate a lot of stuff in my basement. Yeah. I love this idea. Isn't this a fun story for the pod? No, I don't care. I think it's great. I think I'm going to do a little weed and do this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You know what I mean? It's not going to help. My diet right now doesn't consist of me changing my diet, but just consists of me talking about it a lot. Okay. So I think if I do weed, I will also just. You'll eat the house down. Because my current strategy. You'll start eating expired products. Of course. No, don't do it. These pills are expired.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
My current strategy is to walk around the house and scream, stop eating. The way I talk to myself in the kitchen to try to get myself out of there. Don't do it, fatty. Really? Delete it. Fat. Of course. It's Sybil. I hear a voice and it's my voice. Oh no. Cause you're screaming. I heard myself. I just heard it. I just heard it. I hear a voice go step away from the fridge, Carol Ann.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And I'm like, Oh, you should have, you should, I mean, all I've had is four baby bell. What's that? Babybel? The cheese that locks me up. You should have one of those cartoon punching bags that comes out of the fridge if you open it. Baby, I made lasagna on Friday. Then I had some Babybel. Didn't have a bowel movement until Monday. That's a lot of cheese. That's a lot of cheese.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Pissing out your asshole. I wish. Are you kidding? I pushed out a cinder block. Oh, my God. And then there's blood. It was awful. I had to treat it like tofu. I had to kind of like wrap it in paper towel and dehydrate it a little bit. Yeah. And then chop it up into little rectangles just to get it down. Isn't that horrible what I just said? I hate the way I am.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I don't think we can end it on that one. That's so sick. Every time we vow not to tell fecal eating stories. All we do is talk about pooping and Amelia Perez. Yeah, and then eating the poop. Girl, and then we have to sit here and say, well, I don't think that singing was very good. It's not great. Like our pod where we talk about cleaning out the pantry.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Gal Gadot can't act, but I can talk about cleaning out my pantry. How am I supposed to clean my pantry and not eat at the same time? What is that? Do you expect me to not chop up my poop and eat it? Get out of here. You get out of here. Poop, poop. They got to have some kind of diet thing where you can glue your mouth shut for the weekend. Are you talking, you get your jaw wired shut.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
So go wait for that cross line, that crosswalk sign to change.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Well, I bought that book from that Amish girl, Lavina. Okay. And there's an Amish cleanse in there. Well, you could do the saw trap. That if you try to eat the baby bell, the thing goes snap right off. Do you think it's the lemon, cayenne pepper, maple syrup? No, no, no. Do you think it's real?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. It's a form of self-torture, self-harm. I got to get back on the Peloton. That's all. Yeah. Just, you know, cut down a little bit. The simplest advice is always the best. I'm the type of person that. There's no magic formula. There's no magic formula. You already know what to do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I had to do that Phantom of the Opera descent into the, into the basement to get my 34 jeans. Not the 32s. Oh, got to cover one eye. Oh, completely out of candelabra. I have a mask on. I'm like, you know. Wait, is it Hunchback or Phantom? It's both of us. Because I also rang a bell while I was down there. The Hunchback of the opera. The Hunchback of the Phantom of the opera.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Bye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It was just, it was too much. So you're now, you're row size 14? Well, I just wear my clothes from a year ago. Great. Before I got arthritis. So I guess I'm back. You're back, back, back again. Back to who I always was. Return to you. Big face. Now in a photo, I'm like, shit. I'm going to have to start taking a charcoal brick gray and drawing a circle in the daylight around the face.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I want a tiny Mitt Romney face. I want that postage stamp. Huge forehead, giant hair, little face. Oh, I guess that's not good either. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not good. No, eyes, sunken eyes. You've got a perfect face for drag. Oh, thanks. You have a perfect face for completely transforming into someone else. It's a good pumpkin for carving because it's so big. That's right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Anything you want to do. A paper plate to be put food on. Can I tell you that I barely made it here? They closed Coanga Pass. I was right behind you. They closed Coanga Pass the only way I know how to get here. And I literally was like. No, they didn't, baby. Yeah, they did. I was on her. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. The entrance to it at least was closed. No, I was on her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Tell me why I ended up in the parking lot at Universal Studios. Are you serious? Yes. Trying to get here. You know what? That is not surprising because I have done... The car is... I'm not ready to not stop talking about the car.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Girl. It's like... People are so willy-nilly with the danger and I can't and I won't and I won't ever stop. I drive like a mannequin. I drive... I have... Yeah. Completely erect back. Vision. Peripheral. Yes. On alert. My blind spot... My head turns all the way around. I swear to God. Yeah. And I have to give my rental back on Tuesday and I feel like a foster parent having to, you know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Hi. What is your tea? Girl, my tea. My tea is... Is your tea valid? What's the validity of your tea today? I went for a walk today on Hollywood Boulevard just because I wanted to see shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Did you like that car? Yeah, I loved it. Why did you get, well, you still have it. Yeah, I'm still trying to get a real car.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's real. I have to return it to Enterprise on Tuesday. How does she, how does she, how does she handle? It's gorgeous. Can I tell you how much, well, the car jerked me. Didn't know it had the thing where it puts you in the lane. Oh, I guess I was. How do you feel about that? Well, there was construction taking me around. So there's cones taking you off the line. Got it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
But my, my car thought, Oh, you're drinking and driving or something. Tried to yank me back in and I had to fight her. Sometimes when we try to help, we hurt, we hurt. So I had to like push the make like a nail and press on and just get around it. How do you feel about the beeping sounds? When you're backing up, it's like, shut the fuck up. It's too much beeping is what it is. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's too much beeping. It's too much beeping. And also, we've talked about this, the unpredictable cadence and the unclear message of her beeping is like, what do you mean? What do you mean? Like, could you be more specific? There's a truck eight feet behind me. Yeah. Like, what?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's too much. So what kind of car are you going to get? Is this too unrelatable to talk about? No, I have a lot of feelings and a lot of thoughts. Sometimes I... I mean... When I sit in a giant Lavigator or a Tahoe, it still doesn't feel big enough for me to sit in drag. So part of me thinks just accept it and get a small car so that's easy to maneuver when you're not in drag, you know?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Well, you can get a sedan that's roomy through the hips. I hate riding in the car in drag. Oh, it's awful. I had a photo shoot yesterday.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Tall, I mean. Huge. Shut up. And the giant hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have to do this? Yes. I had to come to a photo shoot here yesterday. And in drag, trying to sit up like this. You don't do a tip-in wig? No. I think you should start doing a tip-in wig. You should start doing a tip-in wig.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
A tiptoe wig? Yeah. I mean, it's essentially a bus driver, something that'll fit, but also give you some dignity. A ma wig. Yes. There was an era... Oh, just a bang. There was an era of drag where... A lot of the wigs you could attain were maybe not found in nature for Caucasians. Oh, yes. Well, yeah. Originally. Yeah. So there was a time in drag where a lot of the girls were wearing some very.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You hadn't seen human shit in a while. Human feces. Rent by the 30-minute block cyber trucks you can ride and take pictures in. And, you know... Penis. Naked penis.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I'm right here. I wouldn't say you do it now. I'm right here. Yeah. The first, I mean, I don't know, 23 wigs I owned.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Well, there wasn't access.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
No, no, because that's all that was available. But now there's, I don't think the kids today know the access of wigs. You can get your lace to match your skin. I mean, I used to buy the blonde wigs with the brown lace would be like a deeper, so I'd have to paint it. Yeah. Or paint my forehead brown, which I was already doing anyway. Boop. We, we, we, oh, I remember this so clearly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It was a hard time to be blonde 15 years ago.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It doesn't concern you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It was so there. We all knew it and we all knew it, but we just chose to ignore it. And I was like, that's fierce. And then there was like the, the, the access to wigs by vanity era where all the girls had the six inch lace at drag con. Do you remember that? The birdcage veils? Because it's too much. Because it's so good. You don't want to get rid of it. It was so crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
People at meet and grab do like girl. It's like chopping up your Gucci gauchos. Oh, I like the length. Cause I like a short lace. I like it almost gone. I know that's horrible. Well, it depends. It's so long and we're getting Broadway tea. It's right there. And it's like, we got in the room.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's a COVID mask. I mean, it's covering the mouth. I mean, they might as well have just like laced eyebrows into it. Yeah. Cause that would be a fierce little look. Do you remember Lana Del Rey? Do you remember the Lana Del Rey face mask that was like clear? See through this, the rhinestone love that is always ahead of the game.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
She's always behind the curve, you know, ahead of the curve behind the times.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Just showing it all. And every time I do that diagonal crosswalk in Hollywood Boulevard, it feels like I'm going to get hit by a car. Oh, is that Hollywood in Highland?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, Lanacello. Limoncello. Limoncello. Have you ever had... Okay, there's... Sorry. There's lemon LaCroix. Yes. And then there's its fucked up sister called Limoncello. The Instacart person brought Limoncello. Wait, actual Limoncello or Limoncello LaCroix? Okay, so there's lemon flavored LaCroix, which is like sparkling water tastes like lemons.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And then there's Limoncello, which is... I don't know...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Right. People like that? I guess. I mean, I hate the limoncello LaCroix. It sounds like a bad idea. It's just, just do lemon. Well, it's like that cucumber and blackberry. I was like, what? They do too much. Everybody's trying to reinvent the wheel. Just do red, brown, and green. Well, that's like the vape people. This is bubblegum brown cinnamon. I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And there's the X-shaped crosswalk. And every time I'm in the middle, I'm not like a young girl taking a hair flip photo. So I'm ducking and covering because I'm ruining pictures. And... I keep being like, we're going to get hit by cars. Yeah, this is not the time for a flash mob photo shoot. Yeah. There's like, go to the Hollywood sign. Go somewhere. Go anywhere else. Literally anywhere else.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
And it's also so nefarious because it's so clearly marketed towards the youngsters. Right. Yeah. This is watermelon peach brownie. They need to make it more adult oriented. I would do like my vape line would be like hot pussy. Right. Like full bush. Do they make vape that tastes like a cigarette? Just like this is my Marlboro Red.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
they do absolutely tobacco flavored yeah what yeah well because you know people some people try to replace it for me it's not a it's not a replacement at all but ask me if i've had a cigarette today have you had a cigarette today no impressive ask me if i had one yesterday do you have one yesterday no wow huge if true huge if true planet of the vapes yeah but i have them
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
No, just in case. Just in case. You never know. Just in case. I think in the collapse of America, they will be currency. Well, they're coming back. I don't know why. Well, I know why. Just because of what you just said. But I don't know. How did you let me smell like shit all this time? It was just kind of part of your charm. Yeah. We're just happy you're still with us most of the time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, here she comes. Yeah, you smell her. You smell like booty. Better help, baby. Today's episode of Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by Better Help.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Therapy can feel like a big investment of your time, but I've noticed when it comes to things like exercise, sleep, you know, taking care of myself, but especially therapy, once I start to cut these things out of my life, everything falls further into imbalance. I mean, let's talk numbers. Traditional in-person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per session, which it does add up fast.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I have done both and Mine was more than that. So I totally, totally can vouch for that. I mean, with BetterHelp Online Therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session. You pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and time with BetterHelp. Therapy should feel accessible. I mean, it should not feel like a luxury.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Taking care of yourself should be something that is very easy to reach for. And with online therapy, you can get quality care at a price that makes sense and can help you from anywhere. That means for me on a different time zone, at an airport, whatever, I can keep up my self-care.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I've benefited from talk therapy because like I've told you, sometimes it just helps me understand the internet, my family, all types of stuff. Every little thing in my life, sometimes I love being able to get some clarity on it with my therapist. You know, somebody who doesn't, isn't invested in anything but my wellness.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's convenient too because you can join a session just clicking and you fit it into your busy life. I just put mine in my calendar and me, Brandon, everybody knows, okay, this hour of the day, no matter where I am, the hotel, whatever, we know what I'm doing at this time. Plus you can switch at any time for any reason. Your wellbeing is worth it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Visit betterhelp.com slash bald today and get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Go to the Chinese theater. Go to the Chinese.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Wait a minute. I want to go talk about that cross-dresser bar something peanuts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Okay, tell her. Oh my God, you would have left it, girl. Why is it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
She used to go to a dollhouse with the boys who go meet the dolls called 7969 Peanuts. Peanuts? Not the cat splat or whatever the sexy name is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Peanuts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
No, no. P-E-N-I-S? Peanuts. Peanuts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
7969 Peanuts. I just feel like there's a branding issue. I just feel that doesn't, that to me sounds like you sell peanuts at the mall. I could have been like, It's giving Wetzel's pretzels. It could have been like the lavender room. It could have been the kitty cat club. Yeah. Yeah. Peanuts. The dollhouse. It's like, hey, do you want to meet me out for a drink? Yeah. Where should we go?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
How about the peanuts? Like, I don't know about that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
No. And wooden. Katya and I always lament, like, the... When I first started doing drag, especially the presence of cross-dressers in the clubs, I felt was more prevalent. It was the drag queens and like, you know, I don't know how to describe it other than men who dress up for the public turn on of cross-dressing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yes. Oh, really?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
And then sometimes I just remember being younger and sometimes it's like, you know what? You're all right, gal. And then they start hitting on you and you're like, you're not that old. I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
That's the only thing she hasn't done.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
You ain't woman enough to take my man.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Have you ever seen this? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
What is it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I was expecting to hear a PA system. Get it all out now before your husband comes because, are we filming? I ran into your husband. James? We're just talking about your husband.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
She was on a television program about like, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with it. And her obsession was impersonating Madonna. Yes. And she struggled with the push and the pull of being this other person but not being this other person and her identity between the two. It's amazing. It is cinematic.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
If you were going to be a celebrity impersonator, do you get somebody a lot? Like when you're up in the drags, do people have like, oh, you look like... Y'all, I get Taylor Swift all the time. I can see that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I think next time that happens, you should lean out the window and go like, I stay out too late and just pull away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I fucking love her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Do you think you'd bust out like a shitty dolly or something? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Cheers. Cheers. I love you, Chaz. Cheers. That's actually, listen, in this group, that's a great share. Seriously. Because, you know, it can get a lot worse. Yeah, it can get a lot fucking worse. Your shoes are absolutely bewitching.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
And are you a safe driver? Are you kind of mowing people down? No, I'm a halion. No seatbelt in the car.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
The car's flying down the road. She's in the backseat whipping her hair.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
That's huge if true. Can I tell you, I feel that way about purses. If it's a match, don't leave it at home. I don't understand a mismatched purse. And for DJing, headphones. Headphones have to like somewhat go with the outfit. Bury that. Because you have pink ones. Pink ones, black ones, rhinestone ones. Oh, really? I fucking love when you DJ. Well...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, you play a good selection. That's been one of my go-to ending ones for years because it's impossible to beat.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
So good. The other one I end with when people are really drunk and I want them to really turn up is the...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Oh, the Icon of Pop one? Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
They're so similar.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, it's like a sample and it's like a, she kind of misplaces it and reverses it. She didn't sing it when I saw her, which really, I love that song and she didn't sing it. That's my absolute favorite Madonna song. Oh, that's right. She didn't add that to her tour, did she? And she didn't sing L-U-V, Madonna, which I love, and she didn't sing Beautiful Stranger. Those are like my three faves.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Well, those aren't concert songs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
She played her guitar. She talked about her days at CBGB.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Some of them I wouldn't have asked to see like in my dream list. But then like when she did Ray of Light, I loved it. I wouldn't have really thought of like, can't wait to hear Ray of Light. But then live, I loved it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
And Burning Up was awesome when she did it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
For the girls who have all those hits, though, I mean, how many can you fit in one? You got to kill your babies a little bit. I know. That's wild. You got to kill your babies.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
You sleep like Dracula I do the same thing You dress like Dracula Little people don't know this She was in Ryan Murphy's American Horror Story Coven You were in almost every scene And then they had to cut you out because of that scandal The scandal The shake weight scandal The shake weight scandal Because I was trying to I was trying to turn Jessica Lange on with a shake weight And so they Made me leave the set
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Sorry, girl. True Colors was horny. She had this long rainbow scarf with this fan that blew the scarf straight up in the air. And she was holding it, singing True Colors, and it was all super gay. And at the end, she let it go, and it flew away. Wow.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Terrifying. I bet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
And Girls Just Want to Have Fun is a hard key. Oh, I just sang it an octave below her. She was like, all right, girl. I messed up one of the words, and she stopped the whole rehearsal. In a nice way. She kicked her in the cunt. No, she was like, Trixie, this is a song of protest. You said, and daddy? She's like, no. But you're not agreeing with your father. You're a woman.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
She was like, you're a woman and this is what you want. Don't meet your dad halfway. Tell that man what you want. And I was like, damn. Girls just want fundamental rights. She says it's a song of protest. It has to have integrity. And I was like, listen, I'm with you. And it's not even hers. Right, she told me she changed a couple's... Changed some of the lyrics.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
It was girls don't want to have fun. I think it was written by a man though, wasn't it? It's wild. Perhaps.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Kelly, what's going to happen on your new pod? You just read my mind. I was just going to ask that. Well, I read your mind because she had a fucking psychic recently. Oh, that's great. Are we allowed to give away what's happening on the pod?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Okay, Kelly, we're trying to promote the pod.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Hold on. Let me ask.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Mary, we're next to an airport. Like there's bound to be flight sound. Every time a plane goes by, she's like, can you believe it? Transitions. People going. Every time a plane goes over, someone transitions. Yes. Someone in this room has to transition now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Do you want to ride the white horse? That might have been what she was asking for.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I would have punched her. Well, didn't you say she had some kind of, like, um... She was famous for, like, solving some cases or something, right? Well, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yes. Well, you look gorgeous as usual.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
The dead body? Oh. I just watched that this morning. I know. I found it this morning.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Girl, that was so crazy because the more I tried to learn about him, the more I realized I could never learn everything about him because his career was so beyond. He's done everything.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Hollywood Squares, right? Yes. Crazy. Hollywood Squares, writing on it and being on it. Not to mention.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Wild.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
huge true apple storage unit and spotify what if i got a spotify yes yes we're on spotify you guys is that correct kelly's husband said that if she doesn't start majorly bringing in the bacon she's gonna get a divorce honey she wore the break-in to bring home the break-in she's gonna get her eyes poked out if she doesn't make some money now there's a there's you know there's bob and monet there's us there's all the girls what are what is kelly you know there's um
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
There's Joe Rogan. There's Delta Work, the greats. What are you bringing to the table that's a little different than what the other girls are bringing?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Lesbian transgenders.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
A place where lesbian transgenders can come listen to long pauses. What the fuck? The long pause with Kelly Mantle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
That's great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
What's it called now? Kelly Mantle's Podcast? The Kelly Mantle Show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
We don't do that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
What age did you lose your virginity?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I also really like Wrap You Up In My Love.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Well, it could. It's dress you up in my love. It's dress you up. Why don't they wrap you up? That's the Christmas version. Christmas. Do you like Christmas, Kelly Mantle?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
This is the only thing she gets opinionated on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I was like, you had her just make casual separates, you bitch. Amy, I really want some cut off jeans. She's a woman of sports and leisure. Amy, can you make me some JNCO jeans? I like the fishnets under.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
This is the thing. Merry Christmas. This is the issue. It's one of two things. Mary got pregnant by a man without consent. Uh-huh. Or Mary took hot loads on the side and then pretended to be a virgin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
That's right up there with like, oh, I'm on the DL and I got gonorrhea. Must have got it from a urinal. Or an angel. Don't know. An angle. Yeah. I got gonorrhea from an angle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
No. Mumps? Shingles is a sexually transmitted? If it's transmitted during sex, if you get a paper cut during sex, it's an STI. Measles, mumps, rubella.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
So you have this strapping military husband who's gorgeous and handsome. He's so hot. Shout out to James. Hi, James. And did he know when you all got together, did he know... That I wasn't born a female? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know what you're talking about. Did he know that maybe perhaps you weren't exactly a virgin and white up to that moment?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Did he know that you'd perhaps made the rounds? Did he know that your flower bed had been trampled? Yeah. Did he know that, you know, you had kind of a... That you were a loose woman. Wide open.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I think relationships are built on secrets and lies. There you go. Relationships are made in the dark. Absolutely.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Is it us?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
She's afraid to say.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Judge Judy Shanklin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Shanklin. Shanklin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
It was hot. It was a sexy Wonder Woman. A woman who wonders. That's your new pod name too. A woman who wonders.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
You wore a mask and carried an acoustic instrument to the bars?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Do you ever miss, well, I guess, have you ever missed, like, we talked about it on the pod when you came on with me, you didn't really do drag in, like, a regular sense before. Before you were, like, primarily acting. You were primarily acting the whole time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Hmm.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
It's hard. They said, Kelly, we heard that you don't own any wigs and you don't really lip sync or work in clubs. And we need you on Drag Race. We need that point of view.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
You bitch. Wait, she did? RuPaul can have you audited like that. RuPaul has a lot of power. So that's probably why I went home.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
To tell RuPaul where to stand and talk directly to the camera? It's not the news, Kelly. I didn't tell her. She's like doing the weather in the workroom.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
oh my god that's almost worse that is worse and that southern accent hey doll yeah could you just yeah would you do me a favor rue oh no that's terrible kelly i think it's fine can i be honest kelly i think the point of view that you offer that's so special is in some ways you're like so beyond tuned in and intuitive and i think you have so much wisdom and you know about everything but in other ways you're like what's dvr
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, you literally know and don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Well, they're called STIs now. Infections. Oh. Diseases. It's very queer. STI.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Are you tech savvy, Kelly? Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
you two have rather um let's say like kind of like long legs long a slender leg slender yes slender leggy it has been too long since i have been bullied by these two no you want every day of my life for a year and a half no you want to talk about bullied we've never had you on here together i don't think so no we've never had a menage a trois together i left this i had you in my drag studio in west hollywood yes that was way long ago
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Did I look good? Yes. Hey, honestly, if you see me outside your house, hanging off your building, trying to unhook your cable, leave me alone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Huh? What happens at... Our producers have told us to ask you what you do at the gym because you're always in such great shape. You pick people's pockets, don't you? You go through the locker room. I go to the locker room. I smell their jock straps. I think you're one of those people who only does an elliptical and has jeans on and sunglasses. Yeah, and top and bottom lashes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Is it a brimmed hat and a cape?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I think that's kind of efficient. That's crazy. Killing two birds with one stone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
And you're like, why?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. That's weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I have a black member, well, I have a black card membership. That's what she said. I have a black card membership at Planet Fitness because it's only $20 a month and they're everywhere. Are they a glamorous gym? No, but there's locations everywhere. So if you're on tour or whatever, no matter how lazy you are, 0.5 miles away. It's always 0.5 miles away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I'm that brand of where I won't walk or run to the gym because that's too much. But I'll go there and walk and run. So I don't know what that is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Oh, Bally's Total Fitness. Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
It's crazy. I like the Planet Fitness because it's not glamorous. But it's super affordable. And for $20 a month, I think you get more than what you. It's like a dollar a day. And it is regular people. And, you know, my self-image goes up and down. And I like that it's not supermodels. No, it's accessible. It's me and librarians and car insurance people. You know what I mean? Like working out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Tom, Dick, and Harry. It's like your Dave and Busters. It's my Dave and Busters. I got to go because my points are going to expire.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
16,000 points.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I've never been on Hollywood. You've never been?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I'd love to go.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
For Kelly. A ketamine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Her TikTok is kind of like, it's like beauty filters and you kind of just like smiling at the camera and like playing with your hair. And that's like the whole TikTok. I don't love that. I don't use filters. Oh, right, right, right. Sorry. It's HD unedited footage. Sorry.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Love those shoes. I love y'all. I love you too. Support Kelly on her podcast journey. It's hard to start a brand new pod because you feel like you're just... When we started every episode, I was like, is this right? Y'all are so good though.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Or die. Yes. I'll go out and say it. Or get completely assassinated.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
If you don't listen to Kelly, you hate the LGBTQIA plus community. Lesbian transgenders. You hate the lesbian transgenders.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Goodbye. The long pause with Kelly Mantle. Bye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Ooh, good question. A little bit of both. I don't know. People have very strong feelings about it. Some of the comments are like... That blue killed my family. Yeah, that blue killed my whole family. That blue is... That blue is the reason the aliens won't talk to us. Shit like that. Kelly, one time... I just want to talk about bullying, Kelly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I remember when we were on tour during Trixie and Katya Live. Some of you might have seen Kelly in it last year or two years ago.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
And it was when I quit drinking. And Kelly goes, oh, God. Kelly goes, it's bad enough that one doesn't drink. Girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Well, you know, Kelly, you act like when I was drinking, you and I would just tear up the night. Kelly, you would stay in that venue.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I've had some like sparkling canned rosés that if you put them on ice, like... You're not drinking. It's kind of nice. It's not better than a Pellegrino. No, it's not better than a Pellegrino. But sometimes it's like something different, something fun to do. And it gets you tipsy. It gets you out and about in the community.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Are you cleaning out?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I heard, overheard in the dressing room that your husband's picking you up today. Does that mean you've been drinking today already? You can't drive yourself? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Well, obviously, I mean, I don't want to put words in his mouth, but a beautiful woman like you, I'm assuming being able to behold you is part of the deal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I like that. Maybe I will. Well, by then perhaps like you'll be an economic ruin and you'll have no lights out in your house. So just sit around and face tape or your new pod takes off so fiercely that you get all the search.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
And I poke his eyes out. We have Kelly here today because we are involved in her brand new podcast. Kelly. Tell us about the podcast.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, exactly. To be honest, Kelly, you're one of the only people I would ever get involved with in that way. Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
So funny. Also, first of all, I must have been... I didn't see the whole episode, but obviously one of the plot points was gender because you walk in and the judge goes... Ma'am? Sir? Like, doesn't know who you are?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
You know, Cartoon Network and General Hospital.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Oh, fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Oh my God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
SAG-AFTRA, honey. Did you pay your dues? Fuck yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I get those screeners too. I never watch any of it. But they used to send DVDs and now they just send consoles. It feels less exciting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Are you?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I am so excited.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I was also invited and I thought maybe we're both invited. And if I was available, I was going to say, let's go as fucking vampires.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
No. Not at all. Okay. It's perfect.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I love that. Have you ever seen that clip of Selena Gomez and she has like blue in her hair and she's like, yeah, I just wanted to put a little blue in the hair for the Teen Vogue party.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
That's going to be you with your shitty vampire teeth for the Teen Vogue party. For the Nosferatu premiere.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
Yes, you do. Kane. Kelly, you're obviously the epitome of glamour. Do you like to, if you ever got opportunities, do you like to play like old, nuggly, gross monster? Oh, honey, I love to get my Meryl Streep's on. Yes. And you think that Meryl's old and ugly?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya
I can smell it. You want to do Glenn Close in the Deliverance. I do. I want that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Tell it to the powers that be. It's fucked up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Girl, I slammed a Celsius today, got on the treadmill, opened up a Zoom meeting, and it turned on. I said, what? See, that's the kind of activity that they're getting paid for but not doing. No. I opened up the Zoom. I said, I want to know about the dicks who did this and the cunts responsible. Like, I was like, you know, ugh. I want to kick somebody.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Who is that? Who is that? Phoebe Waller-Bridge? Pick a name, ho. Pick a name. She created Fleabag.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Well, what the fuck, bitch? Chili and Barbary. Wait a minute. Let's talk about the New York tradition. Wait, there's a New York tradition? At your home. Oh, no. Is it cunty? Is it cold? Are you proud to serve it? Well... They had to airlift an air conditioner on top of your building. It was harrowing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
They love the old young thing. Sarah Paulson, Holland Tunnel. The lesbians love like the, um, I'm your mom. Well. Suck on this titty. I think. Right? I think we could safely say that everybody loves that. Right, right. Older women, age play, age gaps, certainly turn a lot of people on. What rich straight men go... Let's get me with an older gal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Drew Afuala was like, oh, here's who you should DM this big company. That's what I did. I said, great. And I DM them and they didn't respond.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
The thing is, I like Beyonce. I don't like concerts in general, but I'm trying to show my group a good time. Yeah. I'm not getting a standing seat. I won't be doing this. Sweetie. I'm not in the show. No. People love to stand next to the stage and stand. You're not in the show, bitch. And also for quite a while. Hours. Hours before it begins. Hours. Yeah. I'm too old for that. I can't do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
People come to Solid Pink Disco at doors and they stand for five hours. They love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Also mosh pits. I want to get up and pee. I want a snack. When I saw Kali Minoga, I was in the box with Rimmel and I got free pizza and as many drinks as I wanted and I have to get up. It was like, this is amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Poor enough for Rimmel, the multitasker concealer.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
We had so much to talk about.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
You got to, we got to move on. Can we tell the girls about Coachella? Yes. So now by the time this comes out, it was eight months ago. But who cares? We'd love to revisit. Coachella, it was a whole spiel getting out there. There was a whole drama of, oh my, the sound tech said to me, well, did you get our dimensions for our, what they call it? Bit mapping for your visual so that they match.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I said, no. Formatting. No. And I looked around at, Managers, agents, producers. I said Bueller and they were like, surprise.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
No. So then I like freaking out because I'm like, none of my visuals are going to match these giant screens. Great. So I'm freaking out, but then I have to go get in drag. So I just have to, I practice what I think as a performer is really important, which is radical acceptance. And I had to just go at the end of today, I will have been in a wig and music will have been played. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
And $400 hot dogs will have been eaten. Yeah. So let's just do it. So I went and got in drag. I did my lovely little video I was working on. Went, you know, did the show. And for my hour-long set, I ran the visuals off the computer while I DJed. So I'm running the visuals on the screen and playing the songs, whatever. Went so well. The energy was so good. It was 98 degrees.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
98 degrees, but it actually was so dry, it wasn't that bad, if you can imagine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I guarantee the people in the audience are hotter. Yeah, sweating their butts off. If you're on the stage, you're getting a breeze. The do lab stage was beautiful. All the pictures, the flowing fabrics. It looks sensational. What a career highlight. And I, you know, um, did it for the glory and, and it got the paycheck.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Throw neck for AC of actually something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Bitch. An article came out that said, like, Coachella goers pissed over $100 meals. And the picture is me from the back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Oh, God. We got this amazing new costume from Amy that's painted on pleather. It was so cool. It fit like a glove. We go to zip it for the first time. The zipper... I haven't even worn it yet. It's not even on my body. We did one fitting. It's not even on my body. We zip it down. The zipper goes off the track. It hits the ground. I'm on the tour bus. The show's in 20 minutes. I go...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
So then I put on a real corset under it. Okay. And then the one in the costume becomes just decorative. Oh, I see. So luckily we had a corset or it would not have fit because, you know. What would you have done? Nude. I brought back up costumes. Okay. But I had that made for Coachella.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
But I did see videos on TikTok of straight people watching me, filming themselves going, and throwing shoes and stuff. Throwing shoes? Like, shut up, fagging Abel. Like, you know, man. like groups of like college age, Caucasian men being like making a scene out of like, yeah, since you're on stage and I'm here, I have to cheat out to the group and go like, yeah, just so you all know, that's gross.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
But I would say to them, one of us is paying to be here. And the other one of us has a free acai bowl waiting for them off stage. So who's the winner? Who's the winner? And the devil laughs. And the devil laughs. I got a free veggie burger. And I went up and I said this. By the do lab stage. Oh, okay. I said, this veggie burger was really good. And this evil twink turns around and goes, really?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I don't even know what I'm doing. I go, work. But also the truth is with veggie burgers, you can't poison someone. No. Worst thing that can happen is it's too cooked or not cooked enough.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
But it was delicious. It's vegetables. I haven't had a burger without cheese in a long time. Just the bun and the cheese out of here. Thank you. For a second.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
But you know how people are. They don't just want to have sex. They want the finger up the butt. They want the cocaine. They want all of it. You know what I mean? Everybody's so extra. I'll take the sex minus the finger minus the cocaine. My version of that is if I'm going to eat three bowls of Fruity Pebbles, I'm going to get absurdly high first. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I bought something from a marijuana store called Kush. Kush. Kush. Let me tell you, it's not marijuana. It's crazier. Yeah, it's... Do you know about this?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
They sell it at the weed store, but it's weed on weed. It's when weed smokes weed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Weed infused with weed. Yeah, it was not normal. It was the length of a dog walker or shorty, but it was not... It was extra strength Tylenol. No, I sit this far from my 85-inch TV and play PlayStation. Okay. It's so sad. It's so sad. The way I spend my time and when I get this busy, I get mad and I... Part of me rebels and goes, I don't care if I have to work. I'm going to stay up late.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Fuck everybody. And then the next day, guess who pays for it? You do. Me. You do. Me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
You're tearing three kids.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Well, I'm so much better. I feel bad because my back got so much better. But so you're just going out of guilt? Well, the PT person said it happens a lot. People go to PT. By the time they get there, their pain is resolved. So they say they stop going. They said that the guy says, do you do drag? I said, yeah. He goes, you wear big, heavy wigs. I said, yeah. He said.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
A lot of your muscles here feel like they're really overworked and over this. Probably from heavy hair. Throw a neck. With that wig on. Throw a neck. So now if you come see me DJ, you might see me kind of the grudge. Just doing a release.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Pinty. Have you seen these memes of RuPaul where people are saying she looks like a bald woman standing in front of a wig? I don't need to see the memes. I watch the show. Yeah. That's what she looks like. I never thought that, but maybe I don't pay attention.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Well, yeah, they did tell me. They do tell you. And then they make sure you're okay with it. And then they install it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
The A1. A1. The secretary of education. A1. Steak sauce. You're not only not qualified, you're going to go out there and say A1.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
But I think on my building, they have roof access through the stairs. They didn't do a crane or anything. They just carried it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
The blower? The blower?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
It wasn't five ton. It's one individual unit for my condo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
We were just in the stunning Connecticut, Hartford, Connecticut. UConn. I thought UConn was cunt. I had so much fun at that show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
No, a central air unit. Oh. But they didn't, you know, it's crazy they had to drop it with the helicopter.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
College shows are usually like, all right, this could be awkward. So I'm just going to have to go out there guns a blazing because if it's weird, it's going to get worse.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
So you have to actually start.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
And you got to get that play there and keep spinning it. Mm-hmm. Whereas at normal shows, people are drunk and adult gays, it's like, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
This is like a pretty specific age range. And some of them don't drink. Yeah, and it's also what? And what is drinking for Gen Z? A thimble of Boone's Farm?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Baby, when we got back to the hotel... The Hartford, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I went to a bar called... The Pig's Eye. Mm-hmm. Pig's eye? The pig's eye, I think. And it was like very pig themed. Lots of pig type stuff. So I had my one little drink there and I was like, you know, this is a lovely heterosexual mixing event. Great for that. Went down the street to a bar called The Lady. Because I thought, I don't want to go to gay bars tonight.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I don't really feel like being fanned. And that's okay to go support the straight bars, right? Straight people have so little in this world. So I go down to The Lady because I thought, well, it's for me. These straight people are not just drinking. They are throwing ass on a level I've never seen in a straight bar. Throwing ass? We're talking like Dancing Queen playing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
The DJ playing Dancing Queen while straight people are on the stage, like one foot up, like the waves keep on crashing on people. It was so crazy. I love that. That sounds like fun. I walked in. I was like, what? And all these straight girls and straight guys. Oh, no. Did they know who you were? It was like a bomb.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
went off you would have thought that mary kay letourneau or julia louise dreyfus or ellen degeneres was there right the three most the three most famous people a list so mary kay letourneau i don't even know who that is she I'm sorry. Sorry. I didn't know. Sorry. She's infamous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Is that the person who slept with the element?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I watched that movie May December. Yeah. That's basically that tea. That's the first time I've seen a sex scene where the guy gets off the woman and she uses the towel to wipe the puss. No, not just that. Oh, yeah. She gives her towel and she wipes the pussy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Okay. So I'm at the lady and I'm like, this is crazy. The bart, the bartenders there are, um, whenever young gals are dressed up for bartending, I always appreciate that because it means before they went to the bartending shift, they put on, these girls had on little corsets and lashes and like, well, they want them to little fuck me mini skirts. I was like, this is amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
And so, um, the people keep coming up and taking pictures a lot. Like, like, like, like, Two dozen people. It was crazy. Wow. And then the boyfriends are drunk and they're doing this shit. Hey, I don't know who you are, but my girl really likes you. And she showed me some of your stuff just now on her phone. I just really respect it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I'm like, I know that this is huge for you, but get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
well I walked in like this right you had on like an oh Mary you fucking bitch yeah but and then you know she starts screaming she starts screaming a little bit of crying and I'm like yeah I got one better for you what happened to the lady this gal lovely gal if this is you she came up and she and she did what the drunk girls do which is
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
wait oh my god shut up wait no wait no stop it wait and nothing happens right and they're they're telling you to stop but you're not you're not doing anything so there's just nothing happening and then she starts sobbing and then she starts saying she's sorry the crying and the sorry is a cycle i'm sorry i'm crying yes and now i'm crying it makes me more sorry and now i'm crying and also like i didn't want to do this but but it's like well you're here you're doing it you're here i think that
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
So then I go to play pool and the gal sits on the bench and watches the pool and cries. So I'm playing pool and she's just sitting and crying. I was like, I can't tell if I'm ruining your night. Am I ruining your night? I'm sorry. I was like, did I derail her evening?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Protect the bricks. Bricky Lake. This is Bricky Lake, honey. Clocky with a tampon in. Clocky with a tampon in. When somebody cries like that, I think, have I ruined your evening or made your evening?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Also, if it's actually my favorite artist of that kind... Like, if I actually saw... I don't know a designer I really like or whatever. I might say, Oh my God. Yeah. But coming up because I know that you're famous and I found you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I've started offering the picture cause I know they want it and they feel awkward. I know it's, it's a good way.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Before this drag race stuff, they gave you a personality shift?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
It's hard when you're excited. Like when I asked Cynthia Erivo, I told her she's going to have a great year. You know, like I've been on the end of that where you, you can't count on yourself to actually say what you come across the way you hope.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
No, you were like, hi, I'm Katya. And she goes, I'm Calista. And you turned and it was almost like a, I couldn't help but wonder. You were like, And then you turn to me and you go... And I go, yeah. It's not the other Calista Flockhart. But they had told me she was back there. Oh, really? So I knew.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Shit. Oh! It's like super short though. Do it and we'll come back. It's not time yet. They're going to call me. So I'm gonna leave my phone on it. We can talk till they call. Okay. Besides two weeks ago, this doctor had a followup and didn't call at all. So they might not call today. They called me yesterday night and said, we're rescheduling for tomorrow for a phone call. I said, great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Cause he's in surgery. Oh shit. Surgery. Well, surgery is probably more important. I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
You'll never buy a home again.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
It's also a dermatologist. What could happen?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I do like this dermatologist a lot. He has been very helpful because, I mean, I get these. Do they even exist? I get these dry rashes now from doing drag. My body has started to reject makeup and shaving. So now after getting out of drag, my eyebrows are all red. My chin is all red.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I think it's from drag.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I think it's from the glue. Oh. You're not supposed to be gluing your eyebrows down. That's true. It's not. Give me the God's country.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
And I like this doctor. They got me on the enzymes. Do you know about this? Extreme peptides? Yes. No. Injectable enzyme. Oh. Peptide enzyme things.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I don't even know what they're called.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Biomocin. Okay. And BP 175. I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
It's one of the side effects. It's supposed to help with my skin, but they also said. Does it give you boners? No. They said that it would help regulate my immune system response. Oh. And my arthritis is gone. You're kidding. I'm dead serious. I've been able to run two or three miles a day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I've been able to run two or three miles a day without any pain whatsoever. This took how long to discover?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Oh, not bad. But also, did I tell you I started injecting my own drugs now?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
yeah welcome to the dark side but look can I show you it get bruised it oh shit now what kind of are these the little guys or those crazy scimmia needles these new ones are those little diabetic cat needles which you really can't feel it no it's like you pinch the fat it's like whatever 45 degree dart like motion I know if you do it like it says you don't feel it you don't feel it but it's crazy that you don't feel it right it freaked me out it's crazy and you do have to sort of remove yourself that it's your body and you have to focus on just the jab
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. It's so weird. I don't love needles. It's weird. And my sharps container is just full of needles. I said, okay, losing Isaiah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Girl. Okay, a requiem for a dream. Yeah. I don't know. I hope nobody ever has to go to a... Dermatologist. Dermatologist because you will be... You will be solving riddles to get there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
And they will be... What about this? The bridge troll. How'd you go get an MRI the other day? Really? They made me go to Santa Monica. It took an hour to get there. I have a new book recommendation. What?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I'm reading this book by Grady Hendrix, who I love, and it's called Witchcraft for Wayward Girls. Oh. Sounds young adult. It's not. Okay. We're going to pause. Okay, pause. Talk to the dermatologist. They said just take your face off, throw it on the ground ugly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Shove a nuke up my pussy. The entire medical complex is waiting. It's waiting and paying. It's waiting and paying. It's a lot of money, it's not a lot of... Can we talk about when you go somewhere and they make you fill out a clipboard of medical and every single piece of paper has name and birthday on it. Aren't we past that? We have A1. You know what I mean? Just use A1. Use chat DDT.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Not to mention, it's like, what's your birthday? Do you have Google hell? I'm on IMDB.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
We make it illegal. All politicians talk about is the middle class.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Do you know how many people are below middle class? Bitch, where?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Well, you know that, I mean, I think we're circling the drain as far as we have to retire ourselves as the party that does nothing. The Democrats love to talk. Chat. They love to chat. Chitter chatter. On a website. ASL. Remember chat rooms? You know what I love? Oh, age, sex, location? Yes. I love on the news when older people who are news people are talking about some kind of new thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
It's called boofing. Ha! We checked in with a high school mom to tell us more about Boofing. Jessica has just shoved a nuke up her pussy. Online? Not what you'd think. They're called chat websites. And they've become a portal for pedophiles to talk to young Americans. It's called Discord.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Girl, I was watching this TikTok and they were saying that we're the last generation. It was like, you think we don't know about cringe? We've been on every...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
We've been on every social media platform since it was invented. Sweetie had a MySpace page. What do these whores know about learning? Learning HTML. Honey. So that you can have Pony Genuine playing on your homepage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
And that was serious.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Tom from MySpace?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Do you know what else I want to really bring back? Do you remember that audio of Melania being like, what the fuck do we have to do Christmas? What the fuck is this Christmas? I don't know these kids. That's me in my basement trying to... Find my Christmas tree. Why do I have to give a fuck about that Christmas?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Can I say that the musical Rent is about the trials and tribulations of trying to pay rent, but the only thing worse than that is being able to pay a mortgage for a home that's decomposing in front of you. Mama.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
No luminance?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Bring back spitballs. Trash trees. Like you ate a banana and hang the peel on it? Yes. Like that is so crazy. That would be kind of cunt though. One of our managers just gave me a tree topper. They said this has been sitting in our house since last holiday season.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
No, it's a disco ball. Oh, that's fun. This year, I think... What's the theme? Well, I've always done pink and green because of the house. Sure. But this year, I think I want to just say... Fuck it. And do orminants of all different colors. That would be great. Rainbow lights with rainbow orminants.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Covered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think of the celebrity trees that have the oversized ornaments of lollipops and shit? Weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Right. It's like, Lucy Vanderpump has like nine trees and she's involved in the decorations.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
What a fool. She's so funny. It's so funny to me. Oh, speaking of, we got a porn out for our girl Jiggly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
And I only got to meet her once. I was backstage in New York. Just once? Really? Maybe once at DragCon and once backstage. We never really worked together.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I mean, you got to fuck the dead body, but it's going to be gross. It's no, it sucks. I mean, I mean, I say having a landlord can suck too, because sometimes shit breaks and they barely care.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Jessica Rabbit can't be killed. Do you know what I mean? Do you remember a couple months ago when I told you I got drunk and watched a bunch of musicals? I watched Sitting on a Secret and Chi-Chi came on and I was like, oh, it's Chi-Chi. Oh my God, she's dead. It was like a two-part.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
To me to connect that that person is dead and connect it to that drag queen on TV feels like a very impossible stretch. Jiggly from Drag Race, a famous drag queen. It's very sad. 44 years old.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I saw a meme of St. Peter saying, can I call you Jiggly? That's sweet. Oh, that is so funny. I don't know if I believe in heaven, but I do believe Jiggly's going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But is it weird that if I don't believe in God, but when someone dies, I'm like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Can I ask, what are we going to do
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Well, we're going to Santa Barbara to speak to the children about their futures. Like, yeah. Should we do like a what not to do? I think I've already done that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
There's usually at these college events, there's a non-binary person who gets it, who asks funny questions. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I'm going to let AI write it. Ran through. Chat GPT. Oh, my God. Wait. Did you see this? Do you know Linda McMahon?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
She used to be, I believe, a manager for wrestling. WWF, Linda McMahon.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
What? So she's now the Secretary of Education of the United States, which you might not know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
So it went from Tracy DeVos to... Promoter, Linda McMahon from WWF videos of people hitting each other with chairs and stuff. You can't think of, I mean, what better candidate could you think of? We long for the days of Betsy DeVos. Yeah. We miss how on the ball she was.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
My God. Because she watched a show about a teacher once. Yeah. So now we got Linda McMahon who I guess whenever she needs to solve a problem is going to hit someone with a chair.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I don't climb to the top of something, jump off. So I brought an audio for you because this is Linda McMahon, who is now our secretary of education, United States. And she is on the world stage discussing the involvement of AI, artificial intelligence. Right. And she gets on the microphone and she talks about it. And I swear to God, I swear to God in front of the world. This is what she says.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
What she's calling it A1. She doesn't even know that it's AI. Swear to God. Swear to God. A1 steak sauce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
She wants steak sauce. She's saying maybe we should embrace. I think she's trying to say kind of embrace AI and let it do some of our pre-K teaching.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
The Secretary of Education of the United States.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Doesn't even bother to brief themselves on what AI is. Not only what it stands for, but what is the difference between I and one?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
We live in the worst timeline possible. And sometimes things like that happen. And I'm like, maybe you and I are geniuses.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Do you know how bad I wish that aliens would show up and like signs they would pick me up with the wrist with the little poison things? Right in the face. Just kill me. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
And you know, I always wanted to go to Santa Barbara. You did? But I don't think we're going to have the experience I wanted because I wanted gorgeous beaches.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I wanted to go sit on a porch and have like a wine jam. Yes. You wanted to sprinkle some dried flowers. I wanted to use kind of like spices and kind of wear an Afghan and write a book. And instead we're going to the college.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Well, okay. Can I say, I think that what she's doing is kind of sweet, but full body chills. Full body chills. What happens if you fuck? You explode? I have full body chills.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Mama, they want you so bad and they will never. They will never. I was watching this Martha Stewart clip the other day and she took, she served chilled vodka. Okay. And she took an emptied out milk crate, like a not wooden, paper milk crate, right? Old style. Okay. And then she put a bottle of vodka in there and filled it to the top with water and put in flowers and
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
So then when she was serving it, she's serving a bottle of vodka frozen in a block of ice with dried with flowers in it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I have full body chills. But I think that's a cunty way to serve vodka. And frankly, Martha is doing it in the way that the girls that the Markles can't. It's not Markle Stewart.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
She is. And she makes things accessible. I guess what I like about her is she's saying like, I am fancy and I'm going to show you how to make something fancy for you. Even if you don't have the money to pay for it, you can do it yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
I guess I have to ask. I love her. She's fucking funny. What is, what is Megan Markle giving us? So it's, what are we receiving?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
It's giving past life. Yeah. It's giving nude jerk-off sessions. It's giving nude jerk-off in the woods.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Well, don't you think Paris kind of did that well, which is like her kind of cooking, kind of pretending to cook with celebrity people in one set.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
That's what I hate. Whenever I get money from people, I always have to do something. Yeah. How do we stop that? Break the cycle of abuse. I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Today's my day off because I'm not in drag. This is not a day off.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I'm sorry you were shitting yourself in your moldy fucking apartment, ho, but I was enjoying myself. All right? So fuck me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Blueberries. Full of antioxidants. Blueberries. Where'd you get the blueberries from? Let's put the store on blast.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
So then I ate a lot of the food. And then, you know, I knew that Splash Mountain was now Tiana's Bayou Adventure. But I'd never seen Princess and the Frog. So I watched it before the ride. So I would know who was in the ride. Lovely ride. It's Splash Mountain with really cool animatronics. I thought Star Wars was cool. I've never seen Star Wars. I didn't.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It was still pretty straightforward what was going on. And I knew, oh, that's a celebrity that's doing the, you know, the end of the rides are like, thanks, Captain. We made it. And you're like, thanks, Chris Pratt, whatever. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
What if we had like, you got to be in a ride and you got to be like, all right, don't forget to fasten your seatbelt.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I don't like that you don't like motion sickness makes you sick Simpsons that's what I was gonna say Simpsons is wild is some big guy coming out and just beating the hell out of you it's wild and then you realize at the end you didn't go anywhere that's wild to me and your head hurts my brain is not made to jog around in my head like that I love it but yeah I get it
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Um, I always really like haunted mansion, even though it's kind of like a baby ride. I mean, it's not like a thrill ride. I like haunted mansion. It was fun. And also I never go see the shows cause normally I'm so busy trying to ride rides. But since I had the guide, I did everything I wanted to do by four o'clock. So I was like, I guess let's go see phantasmic.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
That's the, you know, the, the water and the lights and the people singing and all that. Oh, so I went to see phantasmic. Um,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
and i ate an edible and i swear to god when the peter pan ship i'm watching i'm like oh it's water it's spraying whatever i look over to the right and i go surely i'm not seeing this like i just was kind of i'd lift it off at that point the giant pirate ship with fucking peter pan and hook and wendy on it and i was like were they really on it was the mushroom land
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Well, it was, it was really them. It was really them, but it was actors obviously. Oh, okay. But they were real people. They were real people. Yeah. There's real people. Um, and you know, who knows if Peter Pan looked young, it was far away. It's probably somebody in their seventies. So I really liked it to be honest.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I, I, I haven't gone since like 2019 and I would say that's a good, a good five years, six years between is lovely. Yeah. When I first moved here, I feel like I went like once a year because I was like, wow, we're so close to Disney. And I'm like, every five years is good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I don't know. I think they should. Small world was closed, which I kind of wanted to see small world. It's a small world after all. And there's like little puppets from all over the world. You know, we got the girls from stock from just go to Pac-Man, not Pac-Man. Oh no, that's universal. That's universal. Also, I have had this hat for like 10 years and I pulled it out being like, wow.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Pack rat me, you're like pack mouse. You wore that? Yes, I did. So I was like, I'm going to wear my hat that I've had for 10 years. Cause you know what? I paid for it. And I go, then I go, look, guy to look, I have a hat. I said, I noticed nobody else has this hat. I thought this was like the standard Disney hat. And I was like, is this cringe millennial hat? Is this old?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And she was like, yeah, that's like, nobody wears that anymore. And I was like, okay, perfect. I guess just fuck me then. Well, I guess long story short, I wouldn't say that, uh, For me, you have to let a lot of years go by to re-remember what you think Disney's like and then go, I just don't. I like it. I don't know about it as like a real full-time hobby.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Because some people, Disney is their real, real hobby. And I think that's fine. But I just, after two days there, I was like, yeah, I'm good for a few more years.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Well, I also think it's a lot of walking. So the parents who want to walk that much probably are young enough to have very young children. Right. I mean, I mean, a lot of the people on scooters were older people, but they also told me you can bring your own scooter there or you can rent. Cause I asked, I was like, there's so many scooters. Does everybody bring these?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And they were like, Oh, the blue ones are probably rentals, but the rest of them people bring. And then get this. I said, do people ever steal the strollers? Cause I had the guide. So I was like, I'm so cheap. I was like, I'm going to ask you so many questions because if I'm paying you to be here, I'm going to ask shit that doesn't even matter. Like how much baby shit is there?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I was like, so what happens to the strollers? Like there's so many sitting here unattended. Do people steal from them? And she said no, but for a while somebody was taking everything, taking everything. They weren't stealing what was in the stroller. They would take everything in the stroller, dump it on the ground and take the stroller out of here and sell it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
People were just going to Disney to steal strollers because you could just walk out with the stroller. No one's going to say anything. And if you're some guy ruffling through the stroller, probably like, oh, that's a dad looking for the binky. Oh, right. Yes. So, but some of these strollers like that, what is it? The, um,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
move or no, I forget what it's called that one brand where they're like $1,200. Yeah. I mean, you could just go resell that on the internet and make, well, I saw somebody on Tik TOK talking about, Oh, somebody keeps finding me at the airports asking me to sign stuff. I guess that's happening to everyone now. Really?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Coco Gauff this tennis player I love she commented on it she was like this has happened to me get out of here and the person in the video was like it makes me feel unsafe and when you ask how they knew you were there they give you a bogus answer like well we just figured no you didn't somebody told you I was going to be here on this exact flight looking up my real fucking name I want to know who's the who's the who spills the beans
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
oh my you know what god bless the next person who tries to do that to me at the airport because it's on site it's a complete blow up i'm not doing it they're gonna get killed why don't i come to your house they're gonna get murdered and ask you to write your name did someone say something about you signing something for me like i don't and i don't say this lightly i love everyone get a job bitch yeah any job yeah not harassing people the airport yeah get some mediation gigs
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I don't see it. No. The only thing I like about it is then if somebody buys it online, at least it's a real signature. Because if you Google yourself on eBay, you will find a lot of fake sign shit. Oh, good. Fans paying top dollar for something that you didn't really sign, that feels bad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Well, have you noticed the scalpers also want a picture with you? Yes. That's crazy. It's crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I mean, you're not just puking. Your, your body's shaking. Yeah. Your head, your full body. Pain. Pain. You feel poisoned. Pain. And you are shitting, which sucks. I would rather shit my brains out than puke. Yeah, no shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Your eyes are bloodshot enough. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
One time, at Gelson's in West Hollywood, I got some avocado, like a guacamole avocado spread for some pita chips on one of my health kicks. immediate throwing up. It was, it was, and it comes on real, real food poisoning hits so fast, so hard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I watched that movie the other day. We talked about it. Oh, we did? I think. I watched the movie the other day. Fargo?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's incredible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It was kind of poly in the way it presented what genre it is. It was like every genre. It was a little scary, a little funny, a little drama.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Paramount, Dingleberry. I don't forget. I've been watching some various items. I'll put this in the frog because I was like, I'm hyped. I felt weirdly racist not having seen the Black Princess movie. Oh, I'm not up on the Disney shit. Well, it came out not, it's not an old movie, but then I thought, am I really about to go in this park and not have seen the ride dedicated to the Black Princess?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Sure. So I watched the movie. It was a lovely movie. You loved it. I didn't love it, but I did like it. Okay. She turns into a frog. She kisses the frog thinking that she's going to cure the frog and she turns into a frog herself. Oh, it's like Shrek. Kind of. Frog Shrek. Frog Shrek. Frog Shrek. And then I've been watching 90 Day Fiance.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Every few years, I kind of come out of a coffin and I go like, I got to catch up. Because I'm not following it season to season the way I do like Love is Blind where I'm like, the new one's out. Let's go. But 90 Day Fiance, the K-1 visa, these people moving across the world with 90 days to decide if they're going to marry someone. It's just crazy. It's just crazy. I don't even understand it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
So this season, I was watching season nine. There is a gorgeous, very surged trans girl named Nikki, and she's dating a guy. He's from Moldova. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. And he's a personal trainer, and they're so hot for each other, but obviously they're very open about some of the physical incompatibilities they have because I think he has kind of like some mental blocks about her body. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
So he's like, I think has feelings for her and affectionate toward her, but has a hard time like... Going down on her. I feel weird whispering it because she talks about it on the show. Okay, okay. That's fine. You don't have to whisper about it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And that's like, oh, that's complicated because we're dealing with a language barrier and sort of like this trans amorous sort of push and pull of like- Does he know that she- He knows.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
This is what was interesting. On camera, he's fine doing huggy, kissy, emotional intimacy. But then they talk about having some barriers in the bedroom, which-
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
in my peripheral experience the men usually have blocks with the emotional stuff but they want to fuck all the time okay right i don't know so like it's interesting because i think he obviously has feelings for her in the series but has kind of his own blocks about her you know being trans then you add to the the mix like the third layer of like this is filmed on television it's filmed on television which is which is weird because there's cameras around and
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
shows them in bed cuddling kissing but i guess he has a hard time with that just seems so like having emotional intimacy on camera is so much deeper than sex to me i don't trust anybody who's on tv right you know well and that's an element that i like about 90 day fiance too it's like a lot of these people come from other countries they maybe are in love and they do want to move to the united states but they're also an influencer yeah like they are a lot of them
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
wanting to be famous in some way. And then I love when they get into, they do this on Love is Blind too, where they're like, well, are you in it for the right reasons? It's like, what is the right reasons? You're all selling, you know, halo bear hair vitamins or whatever. So what is the right reason? You're all in the Crest ad. You're all in the T-Mobile ad. What do you mean? Mint Mobile.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Mint Mobile. You know? So, like, what is the reason? What is the reason?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Is it Mint Mobile or is it Crest White Strips? But then there's this guy from Kentucky and his gal comes from, I believe, Panama. So, I might not remember it. But he's living in a studio apartment with dogs and guinea pigs. And his mom... No, guinea pig. His mom's a... His mom's a guinea pig. His mom is... So, this is the thing. I've lived at all different...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
like, you know, um, I've lived in two apartments. I've lived very, you know, paycheck to paycheck. Yeah. His mom lives in his closet on a mattress on the floor. Okay. Okay. So my thought was, which by the way, like I've shared beds with my siblings. I've had four kids to a room. I've done that. Like, but I was a kid and I wasn't filming. My thing was, wow. To bring cameras into your home.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And your mom is in the, in the, uh, he was like would you like to meet my mom and like opens the door and she's in there on the floor on a mattress on a tablet like And of course I'm like, wow. And then, well, then this is the real drama of the season with them. The real drama was his sister is like, you know what? I don't really know her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
She doesn't speak English, but I'm just going to get her drunk because that's truth serum. Drunk, drunk words are sober thoughts. So then she gets drunk with the girl and she's like, so, and they're using Google transit, of course, on camera. So, cause nobody, she doesn't speak English and English I've heard is very difficult to learn. Right. Of course.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Especially if you're in a closet on the floor. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
besides that you get your duolingo you lay back on the floor and you know I just in the closet on the floor so then they get drunk and the sister's like you know it's her bachelorette party and imagine me a bachelorette party in a room full of people you don't know and can't speak to because you don't know English and so you're just in your veil and your penis necklace just like with the cameras around and the sister's like
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
So, I know you think that he tells you that he's going to kick my mom out, but I'm going to tell you right now, those two people are always going to live together. She's always going to be in your life. You better get used to it. She's always going to be in the closet on the floor, ho. Your sister's like, she's never moving out. He's lying to you. There, there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
He's never going to cut the umbilical cord. That's his lover. Basically snitching on her being like, you're about to marry Miss Mama's Boy. Miss Mama on the floor. Yeah. Miss Swamp Thing in the closet. Which I have issue with Mama's Boy as a concept because when someone's a daddy's girl, we don't care. But when someone likes their mom, we hate that. I don't know. I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Liking your mom is not the worst fucking thing somebody's ever done. Okay. No, but I don't say that from experience because Val. Yeah. And it was just our very, it was a very tumultuous season. So then ultimately the sister orders a stripper for the bachelorette party. And the husband is, you guessed it, pissed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
The men love to get the stripper, but if the girl gets a stripper, the men lose their minds.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
So what did the stripper do with the lap dance in the closet? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
No, the closet wasn't involved. It was in one of those like party vans. It was like party vans. Worse. And then there's Ashley who meets a guy whose name is Manuel. Ashley's a witch. She's a witch. She's a witch. So she's literally at the reunion saging people being like, Manuel, stop it. It's really crazy. Are these people on mentallyill.com? Is it mentalillness.com?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I think they're looking for love. And I think sometimes some of these people I'm like, I understand like, oh, I live in California and he lives in Seattle and we make it work. It's maybe direct flights. It's maybe it's international travel relationship. I just am like with mama on the floor.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
A lot of them either meet online or one of them's on vacation or study abroad and they meet while they're abroad. Okay. Hmm. Like Nikki and her boyfriend, Igor. Okay. Personal trainer. Nikki, she wore... And of course in Moldova, he's like, you dress too much. So he tries to take her to buy her like white linen poplin shirts and like jeans. And she's in like a neon bikini with a faux ponytail.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Like I'm not wearing that. It's so awesome. It's so weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. It's a lot of... Mama's on the floor in the closet. Mama's on the floor in the closet misbehaving. Okay. So I've seen most seasons one through nine and it's just really... Do you know about Muhammad? You probably told me. Daniela Muhammad in the beginning of the series. Muhammad is like... I'll just play the audio. I'll just play the audio. Play me the audio. Where's the phone?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Mama on the floor? What does it find you? Oh. You know, Danielle's probably maybe Val's age. Okay. And Mohammed is maybe 25.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And then... What do you think it is? I don't know. I'm riveted. You know it's stinky pussy. You know you're acting. Come on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I want my sex tonight. They have a very difficult relationship. And when they do finally get married, he dips to Miami the next day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
oh it's tough so they're just looking for visas and passports not always some of them are truly in love and are married and like have kids now and some of them you're like wow this feels underhanded this feels like you're you know what network is behind all this of course you know it's tlc you know it's tlc you know it's fucking tlc bitch tlc you you
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
TLC is going to jail.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And this is 100% of you are going to jail. This is like pre-COVID, this clip. Now it's even wilder on 90 Day Fiancé. I love 90 Day Fiancé. I love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It makes me want to throw up. And sometimes, too, I'm not saying age gaps aren't real because we're in gay world. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Baby. Most people, so many people we know, it's Daddy Warbucks and fucking Danny from The Shining on the tricycle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, and then you and I are the twins. Come play with us. Yeah, yeah. And then we kind of put on our gear and have a play session. Do you know what I mean? Kind of like get geared up and have like a play session. Are you guys into playing? Oh, I played with, me and his husband have played before. Played is such a weird. Don't like it. I don't. I don't like it either.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I'm going to put on my gear and play.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I'm going to put on my gear and play. I don't like it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's really cunty. I just love 90 Day Fiancé. I have one more thing. I have to tell you. Okay, wait, wait, wait. So I was. Hold on. I want to share with something. Share with something. Yes, of course. I just feel like we can share clips as long as it's mostly audio. It doesn't feel weird. Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Besides, when we shared Amelia Perez on here, that might be the only exposure someone has to Amelia Perez. That's right. Penis to vagina.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And if you're Demi Moore and you were dressed poorly, wouldn't that be a shame?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
The rest of us are just ugly. Don't call it a comeback. The rest of us are just ugly. Ugly. But she's, I feel like he's laying the groundwork. Did she kind of like wear gear? Did she have like a puppy mask on? And was she kind of like playing? No. Does she have like a harness on and kind of like a cock cage? And kind of like a cock cage? No, cock cage is at the governor's ball.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And it's going to like look blue on shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
What would you do if Demi Moore just showed up in a gay men's harness and-
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Did you want to play later? Wait, wait. What would happen in the world if you and I just started fucking? What if we just were like, anyway, new update for you guys. We've just been like fucking. Anyway, we're just. Anyways, you guys are so crazy. It's like a soft launch, but like we've been fucking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's great. I...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
love libertarians but i would describe that sometimes as the worst qualities of both things yeah totally the worst yeah it's the craziest yeah yeah and she's like she kind of reads him so fiercely he's like so you want to be a baby you want to be a baby it's so cunty you do want to be i mean do you want to be a baby i am baby right you're pooping your pants hello poopy and peepee when's the last time you flat out shit your pants
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
like full like hard turd only the the roach motel is like wiggle it out the pant leg like yeah like like a summer sausage a summer sausage running down the leg no i think it was just i don't think there's been a hard turd incident since well yeah if it's if it's then how are you accidentally farting out a hard turd yeah like you have to you're actively doing that you're making that happen yeah oops i shit a hard turd
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I want that bony grip. Gotta tell you, I got... We have to go, don't we?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Kara? Imagine the grip. Oh, I know. It's so wild. Yeah. Do you know where merch says Goblin Head Nation? I guess... Hey...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Bye!
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
To be honest, well, it could be that you didn't rinse them, which I also forget to do. Yeah. And I know that's bad because people have told me, oh, you're eating feces. Right. E. coli.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I was like, did you watch TV? No. Oh, yeah. I lost a day and a half. When you're that sick, even TV is nauseating.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I can't remember the last time I pooped, to be quite honest. Did you go big potty? Did you go big potty?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
You're back. Well, you look good. No, I look. You look, you look. This background. You look alive. You look youthful. I am alive. I'm really sorry you got food poisoning. It fucking sucks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
The first time I really remember getting it was during the Donald's first presidency. And I remember thinking, wow, this is so bad. I wouldn't even wish this on the Donald. Somebody I really am not a fan of. So I remember thinking, wow, if I won't want this person to get it, it's bad. It's bad. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's like a hangover on crack.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And also if you're really food poisoned, the stomach twisting, aching, like you're not just nauseous. It's like there was nothing. There's nothing in there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
What about these videos of people coming out of colonoscopies just blowing, just blowing?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
The Terrifier. You know, when I was at Disney, I got a little bit of motion sickness, so I kind of had the same thing. I did see people run around with those Band-Aids. The motion sickness back of the neck Band-Aid things. Dramamine? I guess it's like a motion sickness patch. From what? What do you get motion sickness from at Disney? Rides, I guess.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Well, some people want to do the rides, but they get sick. You want to do the ride until you do the ride, and then you're sick. You get sick from the motion. Motion sickness.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I don't think it's likely to die from that roller coaster. I don't like feel unsafe on a roller coaster. No. You're more likely to die on the way to Disney in the car.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
That's what they said in the movie. It's true. So I went and. Did you put that thing on the back of your neck?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
No, I don't get really motion sickness, but, um, I went and I stayed at the hotel, um, Disney California adventure because I thought, I don't want, when I think of going to Disney in LA, I think of that fucking seven, 8am trying to get a bunch of faggots into a SUV to drive to Anaheim being in a parking lot at 8am trying to like, you know, like that, that whole pre Disney rigmarole is not worth the squeeze to me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Sure. So I was like, all right, I'll go. What if I get a room the night before in a splash mountain?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
in the splash like at the top of the mountain anymore it's called it's tiana's something adventure tiana's bayou adventure princess and the frog so this is in the frog well frog mountain frog mountain you get you get a room in frog mountain it's a sweet frogger mountain yeah so i stayed at the disney california adventure now last time i went there which was pre-covid i'm not a disney gay don't look at my outfit it's just it's just merchandise
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
So I haven't gone since like 2018 probably. But I was like, you know what? If I'm going to go, I'm going to be Miss Thing and I'm going to get a room the night before so I can wake up and walk into the park because you're staying at a hotel. Yeah, yeah. That's the way to do it. You wake up in the park. Wow, I want to go on a ride. It's right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Rather than, hey, let's get the faggots into a car at 7 a.m. to try to get to Anaheim. Anaheim, yeah. You're waiting in the car for everyone to coif their mushroom cut and put the glitter on their pubes and put in their contact lenses and their fake teeth and get in the car, right? So everybody's, so waking up like, dude, Like, oh. Yeah, Frog Mountain.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
The night before, I had the lightning, I got the lightning premiere pass, which I guess has cut the lines, which was $349 extra per person, but very horny. Yeah, you're not going to go. Very horny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Right. And I'm afraid to say how much these things are because, frankly, I get roasted for spending money, but I'm just going to be honest with people and say that I spent the money. You're not going to apologize for being rich and beautiful. No. So $349 a person, I would say, if you're a Disney all the time person, go like every five years and get the Cunty Pass and fuck those lines.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
What do you think about all the children? When I talk about children, I'm talking about teeny weenies. Well, can I tell you what Disney really is? It's a daycare.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I do think that's a healthier option than blaming everybody else. Right? Don't most people just say it's everyone else?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I got two sets of twins and we're all going the same speed. If I had kids, they would be pushing me in a fucking stroller. Oh, my God. I'd have stirrups like a gynecologist. I'd be like, faster, kiddo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Well, I'm also looking around. You know what I mean? Because... There were so many strollers there. It was stroller getting. It's stroller getting. If you go to Fantasyland, which there is just... Okay, so this is a lot going on. So I go the first day, the Lightning Premier Pass. The second day, I got one of those horny VIP guides. Oh, see, that's what I was going to ask you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
That's what they do at Six Flags. I got one of those horny people. They just usher you. They wear plaid. I asked if I could say their name. Their name was Caitlin. And Caitlin, I said, girl, here's all the rides I want to ride today. And she said, all right, let's go. They put an itinerary together.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
well also if you're like me and you walk around disney you have a million questions i'm like when was that built who's that do you know them yeah when we crossed somebody mind you i asked her how many people work here i said what couple thousand she said something like 20 30 000 people would ever work there and i said oh um or no i said a couple it was a lot it was like and so that but then even every time we pass somebody who worked i'd be like did you know her do you know her do you guys have lunch in the break room together annoying
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
but then i'm like how does that ride what's this and then all this inside tea right so then i'm like i want you to get me on all these rides and i said well what does miss jada pinkett smith do how do the celebs get in the back entrance i want to enter these rides rectally right i don't want to i want the jennifer lawrence treatment and she said well you know we call it a high profile guest and that's only for guests where if they're like getting recognized so much that it interrupts their trip so i take off my sunglasses i'm cheating out i'm looking for blue hair i'm looking for neck tattoos i'm
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Nothing. Because they're babies. Well, it was the morning. The gays aren't there yet. And the girls. So the only people who are there are families. And of course, the people who work there know you and I, but they can't say anything. Right. So they're just like, nice to see you. And I said, why am I in line? You know what I mean? So I'm cheating out. I'm cheating out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Finally, an hour and a half in, somebody comes up to me and I go, oh my God, my experience is being interrupted. I'm not enjoying myself because of my high profile status at Disneyland. And then the guy goes, all right, one of my colleagues saw you get recognized and called it in. So I see here they upgraded you to high profile. So guess who got to walk in the rectal entrance of every single ride?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Jada Pinkett Smith. Walk in the exit and say how many times you want to ride it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I'd like to ride the Incredicoaster three times, and I'd like to walk in the end. But what are you doing there as a grown-ass man? Riding the rides. Those rides ain't shit. But it doesn't always have to be pulse-pounding horror. I like some of the story rides. I like the chill vibes. They're like carnival rides. Yeah, I like some of that. Or like the Peter Pan ride, which is the story of Peter Pan.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
You don't like like Pirates of the Caribbean. You don't like Indiana Jones. Those are like story rides.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
You know? I think most drag queens would take the road more traveled, which is... We hear this all the time from our colleagues. Everything in my life is wrong because of. A, B, and C, and D. My managers, my agents, the network, my fans, and my manager.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
The second one, what they do, the fake out is very scary. That one is really scary. And Matterhorn, you know, I don't like that shit, but of course I wrote it. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
the yeti hate that and then jungle cruise they got the animatronic gorillas too and i was not down with that either sick sick sick i i like the jurassic park one because you go in the water too yeah you go in the water it's lovely very it's a good um ambiance ambiance it's all normal until isn't on that ride it starts out fun and normal and it gets fucking crazy yeah same with um the mummy love her she goes back in front
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. The mummy's good too. Too short. They're all too short. They're all too short. We're going to wait and you're going to wait in line for two and a half hours for a 30 second ride. Get up, get out of here. Well, California used to be California screaming and now it's the Incredicoaster. That's a pretty long roller coaster. I did that a couple of times. That was fun. Fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's the one that's like three, two, one, and just launches you. Yeah. Love that. That's nice. Space Mountain. I don't get why everybody nuts for that shit. It's so, it's like Atari. My face in the dark is just. Beepity boop boop. Beepity boop boop. Can't see. Beepity boop boop. Yeah. Can't see anything. It's not great. It's not great, but I got to tell you about the Star War. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Because I wrote Star War, Rise of the Resistance. Fina told me, wait till you write it. It's cunty. But I've never seen Star Wars. Okay. But it's, you literally have to get up. You have to get up and walk. You do walk. Yeah. That's crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Right. No. Do you know what I mean? Bitch, you haven't ridden it. So don't try to talk about shit you've never done, bitch. I have. I've been in it. There's like, so first it's this ride, then it's this. It's like three rides.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Right. That's what I want. Well, maybe Disney's not for you. It's not for me because I hate children. But is it okay that I went? Like, it's kind of like, you're very Christian right now where other people not being Christian is pissing you off. Yeah. Because I liked a weekend at Disney. You're mad. I'm pissed. You're mad. I'm pissed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya
100%.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya
Which one?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya
Flop.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya
Not over it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya
God damn it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya
Bofa.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
There's tariffs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They got to get it over the ship. Right. And the woke. And all the woke. And the wokeness. You gotta be woke, you gotta be cheap, and you gotta be quick. They do that on Drag Race sometimes. They have them do like an interior design challenge where they have a room like this size that's just like a white box and they give them one day to go like make a nightclub or design a hotel. They've done it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's drag queens who are like I guess creative but incredibly lazy and combative so they're all fighting about who has the best idea but no one's actually doing the work.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I know. I'll tell you where they're not lazy. Right here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's crazy. I would like to see you compete on Drag Race. What do you think? Hard left. Have you ever judged on Drag Race? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, come on. You've got to do that at least. Okay, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That would be fun. And when the celebrities come on, the girls get so excited for funny women too. They flip out to see you. It would be cunty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's an honor. Again, I would love to cunt it so hard for them too. Yeah, I guess it's... Because it's all about a persona, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And that's sort of what gives you the courage to just give your... All on the runway.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do you do woke?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do you ever do woke?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Like, leave it all on the floor.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Because you're not you. You will shit on the floor because you're not shitting on the floor. So-and-so is. And she's... She shitted more than you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The pile of poop is bigger. She shitted.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
She shat. She's a shataphrast. She...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You know what else, too? I mean, if you see these drag queens out of drag, you'd know why they feel so emboldened in these other personas. Ghouls and goblins. At the end of the day, when they become, you know, Don Knotts with no eyebrows, you're like, oh, shit. Ghouls and goblins.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I've done woke once in college. We never introduce anybody. Although your voice, people will know who you are immediately. I have to say I was on my break. Hello, people. When I was on my break and you guys had your episode.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I think you both look very good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, I mean, you know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I mean, you're not going to accept that, but.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Whoa. Yeah, it's very special. Yeah, I know that you had to reach for something more, didn't you?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I know. It's awful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We hit it off.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by our friends at BetterHelp. I have to tell you guys, I have been in therapy for a couple years and I recently had the privilege of really further customizing my talk therapy experience by saying, I want to take a break.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It was the star episode. I listened to it twice, I think.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I've reaped so many benefits from talk therapy and I just got to talk to my therapist and say, I think it's time for me to be able to enjoy that and just take a little siesta and as part of my care. And so it's great for me to think of taking a little breather from therapy as part of my therapy process. It's nice to be able to focus on all the wonderful things I've learned about myself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You know, um, I mean, am I shocked you that I'm a man? Many men feel immense pressure to keep it together, to provide, you know, there's no wonder that 6 million men in the U S suffer from depression every year and it's often undiagnosed. Um, The struggle is real, and talk therapy is a wonderful option to do something about it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It has helped me be my best, and it can help you be your best, not just for you, but for everyone in your life. So if you're a man and you're feeling the weight of the world, talk to someone, a friend, a loved one, a therapist, anybody. With over 35,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And it works with an app store rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews. It's so convenient. If you're like me, a person who works full time, you can put that little treatment at the end of the day, first thing in the morning, during your lunch break, on a weekend. I mean, I've even taken calls in the car on the way to the airport because in LA it's a full hour.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
So I've done therapy in the car on the way to the function. Talk it out at BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash bald. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash bald. Naked Wines, people. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Naked Wines. Finally, wine, something I'm actually an expert on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
But I'll tell you, even though I love wine, I love wine. I'm more of a white wine person, but even though I've had like a lifetime of drinking wine now, I still go into a store and I have no idea what to buy. I'm looking at different labels. I'm looking at different prices. I'm trying to think of maybe who's coming over and what they might like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Whoa, a whole year?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And I'm combining that with my other knowledge of almost nothing. Because then I'm like, well, if I pick this and they come here, I'm going to say I bought them for them. And they're going to say, why? I'm going to say, I don't know. Because of the picture on the front. I have no idea. But I want to be an interesting host. And that's why I love Naked Wines. It's 2025.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We should not be shopping like we are juniors in college, just grabbing whatever's convenient and going home. And, you know, we can do better than that. And Naked Wines is a service that directly connects you to the world's finest independent winemakers. So you can get award-winning wine delivered straight to your door.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Use our code BALD for the code and password at NakedWines.com and get their incredible deals of six bottles for just $39.99. Six bottles of wine for $40. I recently enjoyed a bottle of Cabernet, which is like not my normal zhuzh, but sometimes, you know, it's a little chilly in Los Angeles. Sometimes like a kind of room temp, dark, like I love that. How do they do it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Can we all agree? It's going faster than it has. No one's talking about the fact that we might have lost like 10 minutes in the earth spinning every day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Naked Wines connects winemakers and wine drinkers directly, allowing the vineyard to basically come to your door at 60% off of what you pay in store because they're cutting out the retail middleman costs. The other thing is, even if you have a car, carrying a bunch of wine bottles from the store home is not fabulous. It's really nice to just have these things brought to you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Naked Wines has been around for over 15 years and funds over 90 independent winemakers. No commitments or membership fees, and you can enjoy Naked Wines hassle-free. Now it is time to join the Naked Wines community. Head to nakedwines.com slash bald. Click enter voucher and put in my code bald for both the code and password for six bottles of wine for just $39.99 with shipping included.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's $100 off your first six bottles at nakedwines.com slash bald. And use the code and password bald for six bottles of wine for $39.99. Can I ask you more questions about shadows? Yes, of course. Okay. So do you guys, I'm assuming cause it's a vampire program. Do you guys do like tons of night shoots?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
yes what is it like all the all night i've never like overnight yeah oh i've only shot at night once in my life and i found it very disorienting to like go home when the sun is coming up it is yeah yeah i'll come home at seven o'clock and my daughter is like eating breakfast like good morning mom and i'm like okay just keep it down um i don't like it i think it's terrible i feel like especially if you're like be funny and it's 3 a.m yeah and then you're like
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
be funny you know i am my least funniest at when i'm asleep right yeah and what's the night before when you're trying to adjust your sleep schedule you're like laying in bed at 2 p.m what go to sleep bitch go to sleep yeah the big fat sleeping pill or what do we do i don't take sleeping pills but i'm gonna start i just recently started doing i do lots of coffees during the night shoot and then um
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
But yeah, I started doing gummies. I'm not working. It's a very dry time. I don't know if you've heard about this in Hollywood.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
People are afraid to speak up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I mean, a lot of people aren't working right now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Because they're waiting for Voight, I think, and Trump to tariff the TV shows so they can come into L.A.,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Sure. Jesus.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Did you guys hear about this?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I did. I watch the news every day like a crazy person. Oh, you're being serious?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, I don't know. But you haven't noticed that the industry has like more of your friends in the industry aren't working? Oh, not for us. I know. You guys make your own shows. It's really great. Look at you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We've been super busy. Oh my God. To be honest, you know what it is? We weren't booked then and we're not booked now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, it's been like this for us.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I probably shouldn't say that. I listen to the daily.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's a podcast that the New York Times puts out. And the guy who is the host, Michael Barbaro, he's supposed to be biased, but he does a nonverbal grunting sound to things. So tell me something good and tell me something bad and I'll react like he does.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay. I had my own car to drive here today. But there was really bad traffic. That's very unbiased. Very unbiased.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Like, it was 7 a.m. and now I swear to God it's almost noon. And nothing happened in between.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Take it off the mic. You're supposed to be a journalist. It's like the number one podcast. Everyone's downloading the news.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I would love to see him play poker. Oh, Christ.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The good news is right now, I mean, I watch the news every day and it's, even when it's delivered non-biased, the information is so absurd that if they're saying what's really happening, they're really not gonna come up with something else, because they're delivering like, hey, this isn't good or bad news, but your mom's dead. It's like, no, that's bad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh my gosh, I have this thing, and I told him to his face, when you watch E! News with Mario Lopez, he'll be like, and this just in, da-da-da, died of an overdose two hours ago. Stay tuned, and we'll see the apartment. Extra, extra! I know! And I told him, I saw him at a movie premiere for a cartoon with his kids. And I said, I was like, I don't like it when you do that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
What did he say? Please stop. What did he say?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, fuck. That was me this morning getting here. Did you know I get, well, we have Miss Shawl in the house today. Kristen Shawl, everybody.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
He was like, I know they make me do that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Like, they want energy. But he felt it, too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, my God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And since our talk. No, I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Honestly, I saw him at a function once, too. He's very nice. I don't know what he's doing. It's crazy. He drank the potion. He looks like he was on. He drank the potion. Saber the Bell last week. It's really crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay, so I saw an ad for this red light mask you put on your face. Do you know what I'm talking about?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You do that? They gave us one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'm sorry to look at you so suspicious.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
How does it work, though? They sent it to us for free, and I think we're both so, again, not working, unwanted. So for us to get a gift, we were like, wow. And so... I put it on more out of like, wouldn't this be fun? You know what I do with it? What? I get high and turn around and it glows red. And I walk around the house in the dark. It's super spooky. Yeah. Like I come around the corner.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'm like, I really, and all you see is glowing red eyes. And I'm like, Oh, It's very Tron. I was Googling it the other day. I was like, does it work?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Wow. Honored. honored the return back yeah thank you for coming back nobody's ever come back before you know what i and i put it off a little bit um because i get nervous coming here i'll tell you why because i feel like i need to look pretty that more pretty than like normal okay i put on false eyelashes by myself so if a caterpillar comes crawling down Let me know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
My dentist, Dr. Sun, she says that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Your teeth look great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Thank you. But they're fake. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, you got veneers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I have some too because I lost my teeth after drinking too much wine. We'll get into it later. Back to your dentist. Cut to a break.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Cut to a break. You know what? That's what I do. I just yell, let's take a break. My dentist says she has, what, 50 years of education, and she says that red light has such strong anti-inflammatory properties, which does make sense with your skin, right? Red light, anti-inflammatory. And the mask we have, it's by Shark. Unpaid spokesmanship, but they did send it for free. Then you are paid.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Then we are paid. I want to see the money.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's cheaper than the Dyson diffuser hair dryer I just bought.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I was like, I've got to get my hair right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do you know what a diffuser is? I said, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I love your hair.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, I diffused it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I love curly hair. I know that people with curly hair, when I say I love curly hair, they're like, you don't know what it's like. You don't know what I've been through. But it could be worse.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's very soft and really squishy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Fontanelle. Fontanelle. Can I ask? More questions. Yeah, I'm sorry. I loved it. Why are we here? Last Man on Earth.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, that was such a special show for me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I was thinking of it and it feels like such a big, epic show because the big, I mean, I'm sure this is intentional to make you guys seem like the last people. It's these big open fields. Yes. It's really, for such a big feeling show, I'm like, that's a tiny call sheet for performers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I will say that my makeup artist was saying she misses it because there's no extras.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Just two, three people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay, you're done. And then I just like relax. Yeah, I felt too for the first couple episodes where it was just me and Will Forte that it was my show, even though it wasn't my show. I was like, this is my show. Then they started casting other people. I was like, let me weigh in on my show. That's not your show, bitch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
To me, it felt very 50-50. When I think of it, I think of the scenes of you two together, like mainly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The whole cast was great, and we're all still friends. Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson are godparents to my kid, because I was pregnant on that show up until the day we wrapped. I actually gave birth... We were, like, out in Piru, and they were like, so in this scene, a goat's going to run towards you. And it was, like, February 8th. My due date was February 9th.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I don't know about that. And then I went in at the doctor the next day. They're like, we need to...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
cut you open because your baby's so big and I was like awesome because I was kind of like secretly hoping they would just cut her out you know I don't want to deal with the I don't want to push her out like I've done enough growing her like get her out and so he so yeah on the day last day of the show of the whole show um I gave birth and they uh wrapped the show and then they and and then um my life changed no I
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And then motherhood changed me. And this is when you cheat out and plug the hair care products.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh my God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Red light masks by shark. I just, I love, I don't watch a lot of television, but I caught that program. Um, and you were so great in it. Have you ever seen this program? I haven't, which is why I was very quiet. I know my grandma used to say, and I just, I love you so much. And I love you in shadows so much. And I love you burgers so much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And I feel like the people listening are probably also screaming that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Yeah. my show that I love. There was a clip came up again and I, oh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, Katya, that's over.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I have another question. Is it hard to talk with the fake teeth in for the vampire stuff?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It is hard to talk, yes. And you have to get used to it. And there was, I did like season one and they measured my teeth and then I didn't do season two and they wrote me back in for season three. And they were like, do you want us to, it was like high COVID. And they were like, can we like, do you want to know like, measure your teeth again.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Just because you guys are pretty and you know how to make, you know what I mean? And I feel like your audience is very detail oriented.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'm like, no, we'll just use the things from season one. I don't, I'm fine. I'm sure. And then we went in, they gave me my teeth right before they called action. Like they blocked it, everything. And they're like, oh, and here's your teeth. I popped them in. I forgot. I had like a root canal. Oh, I had the bike accident where I lost my teeth. And like, so things were like, my mouth had changed.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You got all new teeth. And you're like, I'm sure it's fine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'm sure it's fine. I pop them in. I can't get my tongue. I can't talk. I was like, I was like this. I was supposed to hit on Harvey in a tunnel. And I was like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And it's 3 a.m. Yeah. And it's 3 a.m. And I was just like, this is like, you know, and I'm like a guest on the show, too. So it's not I'm not like totally like, you know, you always have to earn it. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, the only thing the actor has to do is talk. And I just fucked that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
When you get asked if you need to be refitted for a prosthetic, especially one that goes in your face. You say yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'll be right over. Mr. Colin Robinson really looks out because like, okay, you're a vampire, but you don't have to wear corsets and capes or a wig or fake teeth. He's got it so easy. I know. So what a bastard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, bastard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I know that you're entirely responsible for the graphics department and the CGI. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The little Colin baby, how do they do it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
How do they do it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
How did you do it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay, so what I did was I cast little baby, like two, like tell three-year-olds, we had three different three-year-olds I cast. And then we asked the parents, is it okay if we put dots on your baby's face? Right. And they were like, yeah, sure, how much, how much? How much are we getting for the day? You know? So, and also the kid, you know, you're not in this. So little dots on the face.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I tell, I tell Mark Proshk, you stay, you stay home in LA. We shouldn't try to, you just stay home. We don't need you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Dots on the face. Then I film the scenes with Matt Berry. Then at the end, I go to LA and I film my friend Mark. Oh, he comes to Toronto doing all the, making all the faces and doing all the lines. And then I take that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And I used the A1. And at the end of the day, it was just me or A1.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
At the end of the day, A1 was cheaper.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
A1 does not ask for money or a break. A1 doesn't ask for anything but to be used.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We were talking about Nazis a lot before you came.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
This episode of Bald and Beautiful is sponsored by Airbnb. Let me tell you, I travel more than you think. I love to go to rural Wisconsin. And you know where I'm from. it's not exactly a vacation destination of the world. So there's not fabulous hotel options, but there are in Northeast Wisconsin, stunning Airbnbs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They're vocal. If one of your lashes does travel, believe me, in the comments, they're going to say something. You'll be hearing it for the rest of your life.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
People have beautiful homes up there, beautiful, modest cottages, stunning log cabins, like big, big properties. Um, A lot of options and so many of them are on Airbnb. I went to Wisconsin and it was like a five-bedroom house with access to a little river, with beautiful stargazing, a nice big driveway, a complete kitchen. It was like, I think... probably half of what a hotel would be a night.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It was perfect for me. And I got to bring, I brought like, you know, some cans of soup, some bread and stuff. And I was able to just make myself simple lunches and breakfasts. Because if you're going somewhere rural, you can't even count on restaurants. And I liked it because it was right in town.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I know that area pretty well, so I could choose an Airbnb that I knew was like a quick trip to the bowling alley, quick trip to the grocery store, whatever. So if you're planning a trip or going back to your hometown like me this year, consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's a perfect way to earn a little extra cash to put towards your next vacation fund or that treat yourself splurge purchase you've been eyeing. Your home might be worth more than you think and find out how much at Airbnb.com slash host. Do you like the cunty vampire outfits or is it like a whole rattle? I love the cunty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
There's a pressure there. As I was doing, and I think about you two a lot, because I think of... about how artistic you have to be. Like this is one thing, but then this is something else.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Are you kidding? I love to be completely different. And I also really love to talk in the accent. I don't know if I have it anymore. But it was so fun because I was like, oh, are you going to judge me about the authenticity of my vampire accent?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Cat!
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, luckily, I feel like Moira Rose paved the way for like, if you commit, who cares? Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what is that accent really supposed to be? What is that accent?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Or Parker Posey, which her accent was probably really good. In the White Lotus? Yeah, in the White Lotus. Yeah. Yeah. O'Hara's accent is... Just go for it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Go for it. Commitment, I think, might be the key to... Everything.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Commit to it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You're committing to not being wanted so hard. We are actually winning.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Did you notice that? Like we never, you never catch us taking jobs from other drag queens. The only way we can work is if we do something ourselves. Yeah, it's true. Nobody's ever like you're up. It's between you and this other drag queen or you and, um, you know, Elle Fanning. Yeah, they want you for this drag queen tour. It's like, stay over there, bitch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
In your little office with your headphones. Talk to yourself. Yeah, exactly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Can I ask, have either of you considered taking a role as another character in a thing? Like a serious comedic thing?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, God. I'll tell you what, the people who don't like it are the best ones They are the best ones What do you mean? I'm just saying you're probably better than Meryl Streep It's true It's true My husband is an incredible actor and he was a plant in my earlier stand-up things and nobody knew it and he's a writer now What kind of plant was he?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, you're sweet. No, an audience plant.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I had this thing where I would like propose to him and he would say no. But I was like about to do a one woman show about Anne Boleyn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And I really- Turning the gun on yourself. No, it really is. It's such an art form.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
But I'm like, before I start, I just want to say happy birthday to my boyfriend in the audience. And fuck it. Like, will you marry me? Something like that. And then he says, no. And I can't, and I'm shocked. And then I have to do this show anyway. So I do this show anyway in my bed, in my really bad accent.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And then I end up like just melting down and he like gets mad that I did that in front of the audience. And he like runs out and anyways, and other things and lots of other things I'd put him in. Cause he was so good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You're a disruptor.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You know what else he did?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Those skills don't transfer.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
What?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We were doing a table read for Last Man on Earth and there was a part that went to Chris Elliott and it was like a long, it was a long part and it was a table read with Kristen Wiig was there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I love Chris Elliott too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I mean, oh, I thought you were going to say Kristen Wiig. Both, but I also love Chris Elliott too. Yeah. Schitt's Creek we'll bring it up anyway so Chris Elliott wasn't cast yet and so they had Rich read the part and he blew everyone away Kristen Wiig was like you're so funny and he will never touch it
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Because he hates it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And I think people who are really good at it hate it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Is it because you put every part of your soul into it? Like, why don't you like it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Because it's not fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Because you put every part of your soul into it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Also, if it's not like your skill set and it's not your career, you probably deliver it like, who cares? I'm not getting cast. I'm just going to say it. Oh, that's right. You're more free. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. And that's probably pretty compelling, right? It's kind of like, remember, do you guys know this person, Uta Hagen?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Of course I know Uta Hagen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
So I had to read that book in college and they talked about how animals on stage are the most interesting because they don't know they're on stage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, no, no. Not at all.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And you don't know what they're going to do as an audience member.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They don't know what fear is. And like, they're just like vibing. Okay. Yeah. Like a cat on stage is just like, what are all you people doing here? You like a dog.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I feel like on your podcast, I'm like a dog. I feel like I'm really vibing. I do. I feel really good here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do you like animals? Yes, we got a dog. What kind of dog did you get?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
He's a little dog. And I'm sure he's, we rescued him from the jaws of a coyote. No, we didn't. We didn't. I just want to say that and I want to move past where we got him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
He's a rescue, which is what I call it when I steal a dog from my neighbor. It's a rescue. I rescue them from another person.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I don't like pets. I don't like birds.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, she doesn't really like makeup.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
My daughter wants a bird so bad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'm going to talk to her. Don't you do it. You know you will have it for 20 years.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, they don't die.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They don't die.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And also, they're in a cage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They don't die?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Why would you put that bird in a cage? Well, apparently, we've lived to 90 years old.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, no, Mary. No, get out of here. Even like a budgie from PetSmart can live like 18 years. No, thank you. Get out of here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do you like the glam? Do you like doing the glam? I don't like it. I don't either.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I mean, and then my whole thing is like my parents had a bird that they brought back from Hawaii, like a cocktail.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Are they smuggling exotic animals?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I don't know. I don't want to get it. I don't know why it was there. I think they bought it from a pet store and brought it back and then it sat there. And I hope they don't. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I hated it. It broke my heart because it was in a cage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You knew why the cage birds sing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And then at the end of its life, when we found it, it was on the bottom of its cage with its wings spread.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'm not on the train. I even like, I'm letting my face just naturally fall to my collarbones.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Like, that was its sign to us.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You assholes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'm supposed to be like this, but in the sky. And I'm like this on the ground in my shit cage.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
One time, this was leaving L.A., somebody had, you know they have the Marshall support animals? Somebody had a bird and they took it out on the plane. What? What did they do with it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, they didn't.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And it was like, this is weird. But then I was like, no, it's not. The bird is in the sky. We shouldn't be here. That's a good point. We're weird. That's a good point. Right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
This is your plane now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
So I went up to the front of the plane. I opened the door and I said, let her speak. Let her fly. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Let her fly this plane. She knows more about flying than you, sir.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh my God. I knew it was a man. What? Do you guys think you could skydive? Yes. Well, I mean, you could do it. I mean, I just watched Nathan for you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Are we going to, don't tell me I didn't watch last night's episode.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, this is, no, this is not the rehearsal. This is Nathan for you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Have you met him? I have met him. Oh, I love it. Friends with a good friend of mine. So he always tells us about like social things. And I, and I always go like, I love the curse. I love Nathan for you. I love the rehearsal. And then I like slink away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Right. He's probably so sick of people hearing it. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, what am I supposed to say? Like, that's what I mean.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Nice shirt. Yeah. But I love his shit so much. I could never say nothing. I mean, I have to say something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, you should say something. I think he appreciates it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I don't want to be like, hey, the rehearsal worked my pussy out. But it does.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
He is so brilliant.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You do not know where it's going.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I had to go on a journey with it. I was like, oh man, my face is changing because I'm living longer. And I'm like, oh no. So I was like, well, do I need to do it? I asked my beautiful model friend, where do people go to not have their face look like it lived a long time? She's like, this doctor. And I went in and he's like, yeah, I can get in there. I can lift it. I can sew it all back. Uh-huh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And he was truly... I had a grandson, P, and I thought it was like a vegetable. No, it's like... I did not see that coming.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Wait, to stay young?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The new season is about like plane crashes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I mean, I would... Okay, here's a question. Would you drink...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
uh some youthful piss or walk around at a mask with red lights like searing into your face i would drink the piss this would be so much easier if it was nathan's piss yeah i'm at home my red light mask with my little bundy straw oh i love it thank you for the piss nathan this is really good thank you like people whose skin is really good if they like bottled up their piss
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Sell that shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Some people think it's medical. Meg Ryan's piss. Have you seen like the Facebook groups? Urine therapy. Yeah, the piss divas. What is it called? Urine therapy. Urine divas. The Facebook group is called like urine goddesses. I haven't seen this. And it's women and men being like, hey, woke up today, put the piss directly in my eye, feeling great. Like they put a shot glass of piss up to the eye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Their own piss. They wake up in the morning, they bathe in it, they rub it on like lotion. And these people, the other, oh my God. I saw a post that was like, hey, urine goddesses, loving the way my hair feels from my piss. But what do I do about the smell?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Wait, is this a joke? It's not a joke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's not a joke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Are there pictures of the people in the cult?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And how do they look?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They look amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, it's always weird because they're anonymously posting, but they're famous. Always famous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, what do you mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, we've seen you there. Yeah. We know you, you know, you're drinking your piss.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I am so flattered.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Thank you for following me, for noticing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's a pain in the butt to collect that piss all the time. You just want to relax and let the piss go, but you're like, oh, right, right. You know, I got to collect that piss. Flashing out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Can I ask a corny question?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I was thinking about it. Oh, my God. Your voice is so great. Yeah. Thank you. Is this real? Did you figure out early on that you were going to be like, I'm going to do a lot of voices for a lot of shit?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, no, I didn't. I sort of thought it would be fun to do a cartoon, but I think what happened was, is I didn't know, you can't hear it in your head. Like in my head, I sound really sultry.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Which is why I'm so sassy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Which is why it's such a fun dichotomy. But then as I got into high school and my voice kept this childlike tone, people started to comment. I remember asking my mom, like, mom, do I sound weird? She's like, yeah. That's so funny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
My mom talks like a kid, so that's weird. My mom, as she's gotten older, she's like, hey, Brian. She talks like a little kid. That's fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
She could do a cartoon.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I think of Betsy Sedaro, too, where it's like, this person was born to play a child.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You're really good at doing the little kids.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, the little kids. It's such a... I mean, it's a gift to jump into Louise because she's nine. I was actually talking to... Oh, my God. Hold on. She's got a Yardley Smith.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
She plays Lisa.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And we were just talking about, like, we've got such an ultimate gift that we get to always be, like, nine years old. Like, no matter, as my face is going down to my collarbone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'll be the oldest baby ever. You're going to be like, I can either do a silent role that's a crone when you're like 100, or I can do a voice acting as a nightclub. What would you like?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
What would you like? I'm versatile.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, voice acting is really cunty, but it is... I wouldn't change it for the world, but I will say I'm a people person, and you don't get to be around people as much. I miss people. That's why I like Shadows and Last Man. Then you have your family crew there, and you're in it together.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, for Bob's, we do it together, actually. But it's like, you know, you go in, you record the episode, and then they're like, get out of here while we make it. And you're like, bye. I mean, I'm kind of bragging, too. Like, it's such a gift. Damn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And then I was like, okay, let me think about it. And then I was like, forget it. Like, I was never selling something that was in trend, you know? I was always a little bit over here anyways. And I was like, I mean, why don't I just let it fall and see if I get more roles like Haggard, Haggard Witch. Haggard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Are you guys in, like, little ISO booths? Can you see each other when you're doing it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We are, like, so we're in a studio. And then a lot of them live in New York. So then they're on, they come into the studio in their studio. So the studios, we can see each other. We used to do it all in New York at the same time. And then a few of us moved to Los Angeles.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yes. We got so big in New York that I couldn't take it anymore. Let me ride the subway.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You know, and they're like, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Whenever I see like a celebrity pictured on a subway, I'm always thinking like this is once a year.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. No way.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Like some of these people are. Yeah. No way.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I do wonder about them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The rich, rich, rich people in New York must just float above it all.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They have to. Helicopters, paragliders, the jetpacks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The jetpacks!
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You know Amy Schumer's taking the jetpack, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You know she is. You know she is. Why doesn't she talk about that? She's so transparent about everything else.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I know. Oh my God. You must get bombarded by people being like, oh my God, Bob's Burgers is the best shit ever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I do get it. I do get it on the daily.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, I've liked everything. Because, again, this is what happened is I learned that when, and you guys, you must get this too, that when someone approaches, well, maybe not. But when someone approaches you and says, I love this and that, I always think, oh, they're talking about the show. The thing that got made. Not me. Not Kristen Schaal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And as soon as I sort of realized that, and also it's about them. Then I took it out of myself and put it onto them. And then I'm excited because the stranger's sharing something about themselves. And it feels really good. It's like, oh my God, I would never know that you like Bob's Burgers. I like it too. And also this is a show made by a hundred people. It's not my show. I'm a part of it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I'm the face of it. And so I can absorb it. And then I always like make sure to tell, you know, the art director and the creator and the writers like, You'll never guess, guys. Another person up in Canada told me that they're watching it in Canada, you know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Years later, like, please stop telling us every time someone comes up to you. No, I won't.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
But I would say the only unsettling fan thing I've ever, one time in front of my kid, this woman, I was a little haggard and looked at my kid and was like, your mom's so fucking funny. Do you know that? And I was like, no, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do you know that bitch? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Say it. Actually, anytime my kids beside me and a fan comes up and starts talking directly to her or even to me, it's a little, that's something that I'm not, like, don't love. Just because.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
it's now she's like what is this thing where strangers come up to you and also and also it just takes us out yeah yeah um but how old is she she's seven okay right and also when someone there's been a couple times where somehow people have sent me a fan letter to my house and that's hopefully an address that isn't available and when i get that i'm like i don't like this
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's happened to me too. Yeah, that's happened to her a bunch. Don't like it, right? It's not good. I love you a lot and I know exactly where you sleep. Yeah. Am I? You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, can you sign my Funko Pop? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, that goes in the trash because you can send it to Bob's Burgers. You can send it to this studio here in, you know, you can do some more research.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Right, yeah, yeah. We always say like, I mean, for us, honestly, people know us from being us. So we probably have a different experience that like, we're not known for being on a popular show other than Drag Race where we played ourselves. So I wouldn't say when we get brought, come up to us, it's not like we love, I don't always feel like it's like you love a show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
People are gonna be commenting about their experiences with you guys. But no, people say more like. Oh, I remember when I gave up you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yes. Oh, really? Yes. Well, we're huge. I know that we're not in demand in any way, as I told you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, no, not wanted, not in demand.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And then what did you do?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I just said, please stop. Yes. Yeah. Well, you're also so recognizable and your voice. People probably at the airport hear you talking and go, hello.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, I think because you have a kid voice that your kid must have like a mature lady voice.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Mom, you're vegan.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
What if it's a little bit different? And she's like, is my voice changing? Hopefully, I'm like, it is. It's getting lower.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, they switched bodies, the mom and the daughter. Oh, my God. I want you guys to do a Freaky Friday movie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, another one? Oh, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
What about Freaky Thursday?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, switch it up. On Freaky Thursday, only one body part changes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Sassy Saturday. Listen, now you have a new kind of fame because you're going to be podcast famous now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh yeah, I was supposed to talk about the podcast I'm doing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Don't worry about it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Don't try to find it. Don't search for it. I love that. I do feel you two are... There's something about... Like when I was first doing Flight of the Conchords and stuff where there's something that feels like this is just all mine. Like when people discover you, it feels like because you're not like a ubiquitous, like bigger thing, then they really feel an ownership.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I do think that's how gay fans are. They love like a 21 year old actress and they love like. Yeah. It's tough in the middle though.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
So they think, I think there's a moment where they feel like, they're gonna be so happy that I know. And then that also is uncomfortable.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The straight boyfriend who's a little drunk will be like, my girl just Googled you and I just really respect it. I was like, you too. You want to fuck me, don't you? Obviously. You like breasts. You like long legs. Here we are.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
But I think the message that all three of us are saying about fans is that we're really gracious.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And we're grateful. Very grateful. Yes. So grateful. And I do agree with you. When people say, I love you, they tend to attach a personal life detail. Yeah. My mom and I love watching you. My roommate and I watch you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's tough in the middle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You got me through da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, I was going to kill myself and then I turned the show on. I've gotten that. I'm like, oh, I'm going to turn it off.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do you enjoy getting in the makeup chair?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I saw you guys and I thought, if they haven't done it yet, I won't do it either. You know? I know. That's what we get a lot. Honestly, I think we represent like not tenacity, but laziness. Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They should have done it. That's the second time you said that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, because I just sit there and almost every makeup person I've met is lovely.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
A hurdle. It's like an off ramp, but it's circling back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The fact that we haven't killed ourselves is camp. Yeah. At this point. Looking camp right in the eye. Yeah. Like sort of like subverting the expectation because we represent so many subdivisions of a statistic of people who probably should have died that our fans are like, shit, I guess I'll go to work today. Shut up. I mean, they did it. That's beautiful. Oh my God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I will say podcasting, you know, it does breed a certain level of intimacy because people are, you're in their ears. You're with them in the traffic. You're at the airport in their ears. And I do think the sound of someone's voice, like some of the pods I love, I believe I know those people. Me too. So you're going to get that now with your pod that you refuse to tell us about.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Almost every.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Don't listen. No, it's called...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Don't listen. It's called Don't Listen with Kristen Schaal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's called Extraordinarians. It's a name I made up. And it's about people who break records. What? Yeah. Like someone put like a bunch of like barbecue skewers in their beard. Someone... blew up balloons to fill up a room in like under six minutes. Things like that. Somebody drank hot sauce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I would say every. Actually, I haven't met one I didn't like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Not like women in STEMs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We'll accept that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And so anyways, and it's with Tony Hale and my friend Matt Oberg. Tony Hale.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Happened during the strike Where I was like I miss my friends Let's make something For sure that's Happened to you guys too Of course You get a chance to Like you are Needed to meet This is my best friend And we don't see each other It's entirely podcast Yeah Yeah That's what Tony was like I wanna I miss you guys Let's do it Let's do something That is true Yeah
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Can I ask about your wig on shadows? Because that thing looks dense, thick, heavy, hot. Hot. It's like a thick, thick wig.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You know, and it's almost like you guys have a, also when you have a guest, there's a new energy and you all get to, when you get sick of talking to each other, you can be like, what the hell? I love records.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Can I talk about your voice?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
When I was a kid, I used to check out that, remember those giant Guinness Book of World Records books, the library? Yes. I love people breaking records and weird shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I know. So their personalities are what I'm like really into. It's so inspiring that someone sets a goal for themselves, like staying alive.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Like how many quarters can I put in my mouth? What's the weirdest one where you're like, that's a record.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I think the weirdest one was probably the skewer. Someone made, like, a giant Nerf gun. Like, what? And somebody, I think the hot sauce one is what I'm really thinking about because he, you drink it. And then it's who can drink it the fastest and, like, not die. Yeah, not throw up. He, like, just lays on the floor of his bathroom against the cold tiles all night.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And he lives in Canada. His name is- That's great. Mike Jack.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
He has t-shirts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I don't know. There was just like, and he's like, and I knew I could do this and I kept working on it. But you kept working on it. That's this ambition that you can figure something out that you want to do, no matter what it is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Also, it's not like, I bet I can cure lupus. It's like, I bet I can shove marbles up my nose. It's something random, which I love. Some of that shit, until you break the record, people will be like, what are you doing at home every night? Freak. And then you break the record and people are like, oh my God, you're amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Like silver.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And then they get like a little certificate and they get to be in the book.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And they worked on it. I mean, a lot of people at home, I mean, for your hobbies, what are you doing? I know we're all on your fucking phones.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's beautiful. I had different ones all throughout. Cause I told, I told my friend Jermaine, he was like, I got a part for you on the show. And this never happened. I know this is wow. And then I was like, okay, can I be, can I have long blonde hair, please? Cause I've never had it before. So he just, I guess he went into the hair trailer. He's like, Kristen's going to be on the show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You could be sticking quarters up your ass. Exactly. Kathy Griffin has a world record for specials. That's the only person I think I know who has one. Oh, like comedy specials? Comedy specials. She's in the Guinness Book for that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
She's always recording everything. She was the one person I've been sincerely starstruck by. It caught me off guard. Because she's just in your world so hard all the time. And then when I turned around and she was in the flesh by me, I was like, ah!
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
She's a little thing too. She's petite.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Petite on the outside, but fire. Time to, let's wrap.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh God, it's going to be over. Extraordinary.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Extraordinarians on HeadGum.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We have like three out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
How many do you guys have?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I was going to say.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
A lot. I don't know how many. A lot. I don't think either of us thought we would enjoy doing this as much as we do. No. Because it kind of seemed like we started during COVID. Probably when everyone started a podcast, we were like, let's just do it for now. But now it's like our favorite thing. It's fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I put on eyelashes. Do you guys do video too?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. That's why.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's how they trick you. It's a podcast, but it's a talk show. You got to do the video. Do your own glam. Get your outfits together.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do you guys like this outfit? I put a lot of thought into it. I'm obsessed with the leggings. This is a bikini. a company in Oregon. Lulu Lerman.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Thunder Pants.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Thunder Pants? Can I touch you?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. And they do underwear. I'm wearing matching underwear.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
These are long underwear. Wow. Sorry.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I just want you to know that it's a good brand and they're little.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I can't see where they cut the baby out when you did that. Oh, you want to see? Is there a scar?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
There is a scar. It's kind of boring, but there's pubes right under it. So it's up to you because I'm fully pube.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I remember when my mom got a cesarean, she had a big scar, but I feel like they don't get a huge scar anymore. My mom's was like Frankenstein. Was it really? Does it go this way?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's just on the bikini. It's just like right on the bikini.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And then I guess they're just peeling your skin.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
When they did it, I heard a splash because all the fluid splashes and it just soaked the doctor's socks. And then I heard like a
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
feral cat sound oh that was my baby oh my god and you're doing one-liners like oh that's why i've been so thirsty damn yeah life right and then the doctor pulled her out and said hello human and set her down on the thing on the floor on the floor and everyone walked out and everybody was like it's so wet in here why is her voice fully mature yeah
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Hello world. Thank you for pulling me out of my mother. I'm so happy you came back to listen to you guys together. You guys were so fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Thanks for listening to your own podcast.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I listened to it twice. You guys are amazing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I think this one worked out good too. I was worried about our...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Then I would get in the way. Exactly. You guys could do your own pod. That's how much people love you. Do another one.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay. I'll do more.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Let's do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I love talking to you guys. You made my day. And thank you to all your listeners and all your fans. Thank you for approaching them so kindly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Thank you, Kristen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I don't really do my new. Christine's going to be on the show. I know. No, he's New Zealand.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Check out Kristen's new pod because everybody, I mean, who wouldn't? Yeah. Who wouldn't?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I mean, millions and millions of people. if you know this, but the pod world's pretty saturated. It is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I haven't heard that. Besides, we're in this new... We should start snatching microphones out of people's hands. We're at the point. Microphones have cables. Just reel them in. Take them away from people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, I thought to make me stop talking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
No, no, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay, good luck with... When do you guys go on tour?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's a sensitive subject. We're not going back on tour for a while. We're in the stay home and cross-dress era of our lives. Do you like touring? I guess we have to go.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Of course not. I don't even like going on stage at night.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
We like the show. But we always say the show is bliss, but everything before that and after that is like... Traveling, blah, blah, blah. Yes, exactly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's the anxiety leading up to it. As a day ruiner. The show, you feel good because you've been waiting for it all fucking day. I also feel like if the show could be at four o'clock. So four to six, you do a show. That's the saddest part of the day. So we all do the show and we feel better. And then we have our night to have dinner and relax.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Which part of his face doesn't work?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Unless you're fucking doing renovations next to... Let's end this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Like this side.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
She wants long blonde hair. She wants long blonde hair.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, she's not coming. Oh, she's not coming. No, that's not good either. I went to New Zealand for spring break and I feel like I got it, but only in the car alone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's the only thing I know how to do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Did you see all the Lord of the Rings shits at the airport there? Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Crazy, huh? You have an airplane. It's just like Flying Eagle in the airport.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. They're very proud of their ring.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They're very proud of their ring. It is beautiful. We only went to New Zealand. I've only been maybe once or twice. How about you? Yeah, the same. It's beautiful. She tried to get me to do this thing. Would you do this? They put you in a chair and they dangle you off it by a rope and then they drop you and you swing like a bungee jump canyon. She wanted us to do it in drag. Yeah. Oh! Right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Doesn't that sound fun? That's beautiful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's like a drawing a kid would do, and then they're in heaven. That's where Grandpa went.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It doesn't matter. There are no rules. You can't soup.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, then you're dead.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And that's where the jetpack comes in. Have you seen the videos of the jetpacks in Dubai? People in Dubai with jetpacks? Flying next to planes looking like jetpacks. Don't look stable. They look like prototypes. And I'm like, so what? So you can go up to an airplane and be like, I'm going to follow this guy and die?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I think there's, okay, I love that you, in your imagination, the jetpack means that you can show someone how cool you are. Whereas in my imagination, a whole airplane full of people. I think it's the sensation of, I am a human that's flying like a bird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Do I look like Pharrell? You wish. Come on, Pharrell. I'm just Pharrell. What is a beta cuck? Let's take a break.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Right. I guess the clip I saw was someone flying by a plane. And so it was like, anything you can do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's very dangerous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It was very, I know you are, but what am I? My dad can beat up your dad.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
This is a clip?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It was on the internet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It was a live action thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It was a live action thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I got to see this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I don't believe it. Roll the footage. I follow a lot. I follow like your grandpa's Twitter where it's like crazy clips. You won't believe. And it's like dog saves a woman from burning building. And with that, it was like, wow. And Dubai people have jet packs, but also some of this is a one it's a one. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Artificial intelligence?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yes, A1.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I was going to say, I mean, I was sniffing out something suspish about that jetpack being too close to the airplane, like a fucking Twilight Zone or something.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, lately it's a lot of dogs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Is A1 what we're calling you now?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Because I like this. Well, this is what Linda McMahon called it, the Secretary of Education.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, cool.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
The woman from the wrestling stuff.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Because it looks like a Roman numeral to her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. And she says that we all need to get more on the ball with A1 because it's coming. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And she's educated on the subject. She's educated on the subject. Did you ever do fake Tanner? No. My friend Mateo did some fake tanner just last year. And speaking of A1, if you put on too much, it had looked like he just took barbecue sauce and rubbed it up the white legs. It's very barbecue. At the airport, bright red pink legs. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
So you did it right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I mean, at least you're letting people know I did something. Something happened. You know, something occurred.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I think it cancels each other out, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Can I reveal something?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, yes. Okay. I'll hold my other thought, which isn't going to make sense later. Get back there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Oh, it's like a... Oh, I know what it is. Redundant. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Don't talk about it now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay. So earlier, after you honked at me on the road and then cooled down in the back.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Sorry about the finger too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's okay. I deserved it. I didn't get my shit together. And you told me so. And so Katya was talking to me about how she's re-interior designing her car and herself because it's very expensive to hire the hardworking interior designers that deserve every penny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Redundant.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
They're like, you know, there's sawing, there's loud noise. And I was saying, you need to leave.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Redundant. I think cuckolding is I'm embarrassed because my wife is cheating in front of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And beta is like, wow, a man who is like... Feet. No, a man who's like not even better than me is embarrassing me. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Because it's acknowledging the current ask is to deal with a little noise.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You don't have to give them an answer of the end date. I just think, sorry about the ongoing noise.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
That's what you would say that holding the chocolates and the champagne.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I would say do it during and you really, can I tell you when I moved into my building, my condo building, I was renovating before I moved in. And one day they caught me in the elevator. My neighbor, she was like, um, I said, Oh, so they were like, um, I said, Oh, I'm moving next door to you. And then she goes, are you the one who's been renovating? Oh my God. What has been over?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
It's been 24 hours a day. And I can know for a fact, it's not 24 hours a day. And also I'm the only one in this building who doesn't have a bunch of kids and a bunch of dogs. And I don't, you never even hear me. Yeah. So all you bitches, I'm sorry, a couple months of clink, clink, clink, hi-ho. Is that how long it was? It's not compared to your dog flipping out every time I get off the elevator.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
A couple months is a long time. Lisa Vanderpump says everything takes twice as long and costs twice as much. That I agree with, but shit. It's true.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
You never know either. It sounds to me like you're approaching your neighbors from a place of real insecurity. You're ready for a fight. You're ready for people to be mean to you. What if they're excited that you made any contact at all?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I don't think that that's the case. I think the consideration of, Hey, I just wanted to, you know, I wanted to, um, address the situation. Yeah. I want to open up the, you should make an apology video. Oh, YouTube apology video. That's right. And then send it to them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Or what about, what if they think they're watching apology video and then you stand up and it's a live feed and then you kind of walk in Chris Hansen style. That's right. And arrest them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Ned Schneebly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Or what if, in your note, you say, and for forgiveness and for further happy relationships, I would like to offer to pay for your renovation.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I think there's an easy solution here, which is you have a friend here and a very beloved America's sweetheart. Everyone loves her. What if you kind of show up and kind of do like a, what are you doing this afternoon? That would be cunty. That would be cunty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I would cunt it up so hard for you. outside their door. I could be like, I could even like through the wall be like, God, it sounds so good in here. What is this cool beat?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
And what if you kind of are in a nice outfit and you walk in and you go, that's right, it's me. American sweetheart Kristen Schaal and I'm the one doing the noise and I want to say sorry and I want to cut you all a check for $300,000 it's starting to sound like extreme home makeover where you show up at someone's house and give them money to renovate yeah love that bus yeah love it okay
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Well, this is your psyche because I said less than me and you said effeminate. I guess you'd think effeminate men are beta. Let's take another break.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
I had an idea this morning while you were cooling down after honking at me with Katya about making a show about interior decorators competing against each other. Like up and coming ones that, you know, like new novice ones. And it's like, who can buy the best lamp?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Right. Who can make the room look like the jungle room from Elvis Presley's Graceland?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Okay, now it's getting interesting. I don't want a price point. I don't want to make it limit them. I want like galore.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
But yeah, time.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I just heard that FX has a new original comedy series coming out called Adults, which after watching the trailer feels all too familiar. Adults is a comedy that will feel relatable if you ever find humor in the struggles of being an adult in 2025. You know, like remembering your full social security number. or to drink water or perhaps you're having the third existential crisis of the month.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I think honestly, like what's the most, I mean, Wisconsin is weird because at least the Midwest is weird because you guys are going to big cities. Big cities are not like the country. So people are probably going to be like, it's going to be like little fashion gays and shit, you know? Okay. And little like the girlies and the they thems. It's going to be like that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
But what you guys should do in Wisconsin, please. Well, I don't want to like spoil it for you, but you guys should get some Packer jerseys or like those cheese heads. Something very local in that way. And they'll turn up for that. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Chicago is like America's third largest city.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Oh my God. Welcome back to The Bald and the Beautiful. Hi, I'm Trixie. Katya is dead to me. She's not here right now. And I have a card here because we started doing like real producing. So I'm going to read. Obviously you guys have the good children here today, but I'm going to read like, I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You might get snowbound. Kati and I got stuck in Madison because of a snowstorm last year. Wow. Yeah. Good luck to you. I mean, I think that'd be a fun story for us. Snow to the Madison. It's going to be a Hallmark movie. You guys got to marry someone in Wisconsin. I'm telling you, everybody, all my gay friends. You don't have to twist my arm. All my gay friends who go to Wisconsin are like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
The men there are Nick, right? Nick. The men are beautiful. Really? They are corn fed. They exercise and eat. Yeah. They have jobs and educations.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And they like are repressed in a hot way. Okay. You know, what version of sex do you want? Do you want like the boy scout version? We just jerk off and don't talk about it or getting a little drunk and mama, you're getting choked. You know what I mean? Like, right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
To get choked. Well, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You guys are both single now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
So we're trying to marry you off.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And what's the dowry situation? Like if someone comes courting your daughter and they're like, hey girl. It's tough.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah, that's the problem. Yeah, I know. I can't stand when, you know what I can't stand in a relationship? This is a deal breaker. What do you want tonight for dinner, babe? Well, what sounds good? And then you present options and they say no to everything. So then what is this about? Is this just us volleying restaurant names? Is it a game? Like we just say no to everything. I like decisive men.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
So I'm not saying I like to be passive in relationships, but I hate indecision. I hate sort of like, I don't know, whatever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
That's true. You do know what you want.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
What's the dream food on the date?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Let's get a drink or coffee. And we'll see where it goes. But you bitches are from Jersey, right? No Long Island.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
This week on The Bald and the Beautiful, I'm bald and we have two very beautiful special guests. They're lifelong friends and hosts of the hit podcast, Good Children, where they share hilarious childhood memories, unfiltered pop culture opinions, and even have iconic guests like Julia Fox and Trixie Mattel. It's Miss Jo and Miss Andrew. Hello. Yay! This is really a dream come true.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
We talked about this last time. I'm having deja vu. These little faggots who follow, they know that I have no memory. They're going to post us asking and talking about the same thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Now with the toxic men, are you the last to know? Is there anyone around you like girl, girl, girl, girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You know what I think the game changer is? When I started thinking like, would I want, if this was, okay, if I hear a story about someone's relationship or like my relationship, whatever, and I go, all right, if this was happening to my sister, what would I tell her to do? Or my mom? Yeah. If a guy said this to her or the guy did this to her, what would I say?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah. You know, do you guys have siblings? Yes. We do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And then you gotta, the thing is when your siblings are acting wild in a relationship, you have to keep your yard clean enough that you can get on your soapbox and tell them what to do. Because if your relationships are a wreck and you start telling them what's up, they're like, well, what about you, Mary? I feel like it sucks for us because we're like young.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You started recording at home by yourselves, like using your own cameras and own sound. Yeah. Our iPhones. And we still do that to this day. Phones.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It can, but have you guys seen that Google Pixel 9? And I do love the Google Pixel as well.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You're getting a Google deal? Yeah. That camera's amazing. It's crazy. I did a commercial for them with Money Exchange and they were showing me how to use it. And by the way, the phone didn't come out yet. You would have thought we were like in a secret service. They were like, you cannot take a picture of it. Like you can't leave what it is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
The camera on that shit is amazing. Okay. So even if you've got it just to film with.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah. I know. Sometimes we worry so much about what the pod looks like. And sometimes I'm like, I'm sorry. Whatever happened to a podcast ear holes on clothes now. Yep.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
They want, who's, I guess people want, but it's like a podcast, but now it's just, let's just call it what it is. Low budget iPhone camera talk show. Exactly. You know? Watching on YouTube. Yeah. Watching on the YouTube. Horrible. Horrible. Yeah. No, but we love it. I love it. Are you too famous for the apps now for the gay apps?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
That was incredible. That was amazing. That intro was incredible. We never do this. We are doing this for you because we're cosplaying as a real show. When Katya's not here, we try to really do it. I understand. I get it. Katya's not here. She has this weird phobia of two people and two people on the pod. She thinks it's too many voices. So she said, I'll stay home. And I was like, good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Sometimes. Well, sometimes it's like, you're more worried about like, Oh God, is, are they going to be, are they on prep? And I'm like, you're going to a stranger's home. Yeah. The killer is waiting. The killer doesn't need to wait for an STI. The killer has the knife.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
In Wisconsin, I swear to God. You guys are going to Madison, which is beautiful. College town, gorgeous. Do you like younger men? Well, I wouldn't say college. Yeah. Would you say college? I hope not.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Grad degree, I can do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Do you know, I think it's funny when we were on the pod afterward, I was like, do you guys want to go swimming? And you guys said, yeah. And then we all went swimming. Yeah. That really happened. That really did happen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
That hot, hot pool. It was hot. Truly. It was amazing. When was that? That was May, April, May, May.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah. Well, sometimes we keep the pool at like 90. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
sometimes we keep it at a hundred and we'll swim, we'll swim in it for a weekend. Like a hot, like it's a hot tub, giant hot tub.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Oh yeah. On the car over. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah. It hit midnight and gorgeous house.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Oh yeah. Hey, we're here. We're swimming now. You know what? I always thought if I had a pool, I would use it all the time. Do you guys honestly think that if you had a pool, you would use it? Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
We don't want you here. I think it has something to do with us. No, we were thinking she hates our guts. I think she hates you. We'll have to ask. We'll have to ask. Yeah. I have a whole bunch of questions to ask you guys, but like at the top, what was the turning point? Cause I feel like it went like this and every single person I know listens to your podcast.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
take the video camera go in the pool yeah and and that i did yeah that i did we got some yeah mermaids would you prefer a hot tub over the pool oh yeah yeah almost every day yeah after being in drag all day when your little piggies are all smashed from the shoes and like you have body makeup residue like you scrub it off but you still feel sticky could cook myself like a fucking lobster bright red i want that water 105 yeah i want to be afraid for my life and then yeah you want to be in there for five minutes and you have to sit on the ledge because you're sweating so
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Oh, and I'd be in there alone. I'm like falling asleep alone in the hot tub. Perfect. Clock it out. Yeah. You guys, when you do your pod, do you go into it with a plan or do you do what Katya and I do, which is walk in and scream?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
pumpkins for an hour yeah it'll be like it's not you clickbait though but it's like gay first time having gay sex is actually what we're always doing because that's the best best um clickbait yeah it is or like movies that just can't like have you guys talked about wicked right after you saw it right probably get clipped true you know and sometimes the fans of the shows clip better clips than i have and sometimes i'm like
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
My little friend over here has clipped a clip of me and Katya that has millions of... It's crazy. Meanwhile, my shitty selfie on TikTok. They're like, what are you doing? Are you well? Do you run your own socials? Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I post. Yeah, yeah. I post. I think you can tell because it's like a 2 a.m. shit post. It's like misspelled.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I hate when you follow a celebrity and their, their like Twitter presence is like a GIF from a movie they did. And it's like walking into Monday, like, and you're like, girl, this isn't you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Was there like a specific moment or episode or like, how did you do it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Like, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Just trying to keep the clothes on. Yeah. Apparently, if you guys have left your own devices, you get out the iPhones and show the whole. Imagine. Yeah. Also, if you're going to start doing sex work, I think you should ask for more money than, you know, YouTube views. Yeah. Also, you know what else? It might hurt sponsorships. I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
She will get naked in here. Please don't. Her and her bright gray bush just like, no, please. Next week. Fucking no, please.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Like that. Do you guys, you guys are involved in the drag. You like the drag girls.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Joe's dating a drag queen. Yes, yeah. Oh, I wonder if you guys could ever go on Drag Race and be judges. That would be wonderful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Then you would have a nervous breakdown.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It was sick. What's happening? It was sick. They pulled in and it was me standing next to the Bob the Drag Queen tour bus with Bruce Valanche. Yeah. It was a heavy, overwhelming experience. Yeah. Oh my God. And they parked at Trixie Cosmetics because as we're filming this, it's Veterans Day. Yes. And, you know, there's no one in the office today. So you guys lucked out on the parking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Can I tell you, as many times as I've worked with RuPaul, every single time, it is a pulse-pounding horror thrill ride. Because I love her and fear her so much. And if you guys, I'm telling you, even out of drag, when she walks in, it is like... a voodoo doll somewhere has stabbed you in the neck. It's so chilling and thrilling.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Well, I'm sure when you guys said Miss Fox, it was like that. Who was in that echelon for you of faves where you would just die?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Can I tell you I remember it like it was yesterday? Because she sings a moment like this. Kids, if you don't know, because I'm sure people younger than us don't know. It makes me sick. You guys are younger, right? Yeah, we were five when she won. Okay, I think I was in middle school or something. But I remember her... Voice cracking, singing a moment like this and being like, this is crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Because then you have to pretend you don't know everything about the Lord.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
But then you're pretending to not know. Because I've had guys I've hooked up with pretend they don't know. And that's much worse than just saying it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Is it though? Would you want them to say, I guess so. When they say like, so what do you do for a living? I'm like, you follow me on Instagram. What are you talking about?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I did a commercial with her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
She was there, right? Am I dreaming this?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
you were dreaming it I often dream about her no she was hosting because I asked her about scream because I remember my first time I saw her was in scream the TV series and she was so beautiful and she was asking me and Monet all about her hair and makeup because she's like a little drag queen you know it's funny because in drag when I'm like with another drag queen like Monet I think like oh we're just two five two girls and then when a real girl enters the room it's like that scene in Alice in Wonderland where you're like growing oh right we're huge would you guys ever do the drags
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Once again, I guess.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Best part is that all episodes will be ready for your next weekend binge. Watch FX's Adults May 28th on FX. All episodes streaming on Hulu.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You don't wear any boy makeup, either of you?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
This is your real faces?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Wow, you guys, their skin in real life, you guys look like little babies, like glowing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It's because you don't do drag. Yeah, exactly. The skin loves no drag. This summer when I was doing my sabbatical, I was like, wow, cross-dressing is a wreck on your body. It really is. How was that sabbatical? I cannot recommend it enough. What podcast do you guys listen to as podcasters? None. None. But like... Let's take a break. You really listen to none?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I love that. Yeah. I will tune into, depending on the guest, I'll tune into like... For a while, I was listening to Sarah Silverman's pod because she just talks by herself, which is kind of interesting. For a while, I was listening to Matt and Bowen. For a while, I kind of like jump around.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And I love attitudes with Brian and Aaron. But then you guys. But you guys, it's like mostly when the album rhythm reminds me to. Yeah. Oh, I love them. I'm going to turn them on. Oh, my God. That means so much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It was really beautiful. I think like for Katniss Everdeen to win the Hunger Games, that had to happen. Oh, absolutely.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Sloppy Seconds. Sloppy Seconds. Love Meatball.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
We were like, let's just go. I think that's why it worked also. Oh yeah. Because we had nothing to reference. Yeah. The first few years of doing drag, I was in Rocky Horror and I didn't know any other drag queens. That's crazy. But, you know, that's why you figure out how to do everything the wrong way and then you have to fix it yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It's like the hard version of everything because you're too proud to take direction from anyone. I don't recommend that approach to anything. But I do love it. It's my favorite approach, unfortunately. It does. The things, I think sometimes the things people don't know podcasters have to know. I mean, luckily you guys are using iPhones, which is so nice. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Do you use your real iPhones or do you have separate phones?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You guys make Katya seem like a type A, organized, reliable, you know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It was awesome. And then at the end, she's crying so hard that other contestants sing for her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Is it marijuana or is it nicotine? It's nicotine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It's nicotine. I've only done, well, when I was an English teacher, they had a fake vape, which was just the vapor.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Well, you know, I don't know what was so fun. Brian Doran Alvarez is so great. And I got really lucky because he made up that whole character and didn't even have to audition. He was like, I have this for you. It was so good. It was great. It was so fun to play like a loser burnout because I was never that person. Yeah. I'm so successful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
But like, you know, that is how real drag queens would act in a high school. They'd steal shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And they bought me one the size of like, yeah, which is so good. And maybe choke. I don't know. I guess you get used to it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I've never seen it, but I remember the gentleman's hair.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It definitely makes me, well, to be honest, I love to, on a night where I'm like, there's no drinking, I just started drinking again. On a night where it's like no drinking, it's fun to take a very minor edible and just do that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Have we? One time, I have. Tracy and I were in Mexico. And you know how some hotels, you have an elevator to get to the lobby. And then you go to a different elevator to go to rooms. And sometimes there's an elevator that just goes to the bars and the restaurants and the hotel. Tracy and I got high.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And by the time we got up to the second elevators, we kept getting in the one that only went to the bar and the hotel, the bar and the restaurant. And we were kind of like, what? Where are the rooms? Have they all disappeared? It was too much. And then I went to see Wicked, that I'm not being paid to promote. And I sat in the front row because when you go alone, you get one little ticket.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And I hit the Benjamin during the night. Front row, high Wicked. And I was so high that my thought in my head was, what's my line? I thought I was in it. So you got to be careful. Did you know your lines? My thought in the moment, I swear to God, I went, okay, I'm going to stand up and turn to the audience and talk. And they went, nope. Can you imagine?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Are you guys horny for Wicked?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yes. With the new Elphaba Mary Kate Morrissey. And it was No Good Deed, which is in the front of the stage and the air is blowing. And imagine me being like, oh. Thank you everyone for coming.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
What goes on with Barnum?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
No. Okay. There's that song that the drag queens do. I'm a stranger to the world. This is me. The girl. Let me tell you, the drag queens. They love it. They sit there, you know, like that meme of Lois Griffin with the pills and she's like, that's that song and drag queens during pride. They're like, I have to do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Not to mention if you, I mean, if you're a plus size drag queen, I have access to a lace beard. Mama, get ready. Easy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It's really time coming. But you know who turns up for it? straight people at the pride.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Cause it moves them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I left the New York area to have Broadway now thrust on my throat again.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
right and there are those unicorn straight guys we were like you're amazing how are you not get you're you're just so funny and nice yeah and that's wonderful i'm happy about them i don't know those people right like i'm never in a room with them it's like what do you talk like what are you like what do you talk about do you watch sports do i yeah like i'm like is that what you say my brother just invited me to come to minnesota to watch the vikings and green bay packer game and i love my brother and i'm always trying to have a more consistent relationship but i was like
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I am not going to that. I'm not going to that. I don't even think you should go. I'm not doing that. I don't know. I don't know what that is. Dan, do you want to come to Los Angeles and go to a Bette Midler concert with me?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I don't want to drag con, you know, but I think we can find a different, maybe if he and I went to the Superbowl and it was like a Dolly Parton Superbowl, like Superbowl, there could be a crossover. Yeah. That would actually be perfect.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah. At the Superbowl. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Um, how much longer do we have? Oh God. No, I have a tendency to not be able to wrap it up. And then suddenly I realized we have to go and I just quit talking and we leave. So I try to create more of a, but yeah, you know, so if you guys are, well, how'd you guys start watching the drag race? Was this when you guys were straight?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It's pretty awesome. Brittany Broski had the nerve to text me two nights ago. Are you going to see at the Wicked premiere? And I said, no, I wasn't invited. That's crazy. And Bob the Drag Queen was there. I don't know what I did. You would have came in a stunning outfit. I just feel like I wear blonde. I wear pink. You know, I love bubbles. I love witches.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
But did you have like this haircut and stuff? And you were like, it's me. I had a comb over.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Meanwhile, love, love queer eye. The straight people are watching that. Exactly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Wow.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Dragged down. Yeah. You guys, what I love listening to about you guys' pod is the, you guys are like almost the same person, the way you tell stories. Like it's like hearing two minds that are like conjoined tell a story because you guys have been in each other's lives at every stage, which is crazy. Do you guys feel like you have like a psychic link?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It is like you guys are like so mind melded because you were so young.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Oh, but we blessed it too. Could you imagine if you guys moved, like grew up even what, 30 miles away from each other and never met? What would your life be?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Plus, I just talked on the pod about going to see it. The thing is, do you have beef with Ariana?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I love that you whispered it and then said it into the microphone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
That's okay to say.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I mean like, what is she up to? I saw that she did Z-Way and I was like, the awareness has left the room.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I'm being serious.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah. She's going to be on a TV show called dancing with the faggot pieces of shit. Yeah, exactly. Dancing with cameo a George Santos up though. What a turd.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I think now people, you know, we're filming this at the time of a new incoming president. Woo. Do you think that everybody online is like, I'm going to stop fucking the straight guys? Do you think that we all just have to stop fucking the straight guys? I'm not in that situation. So... Were you fucking the straight guys? I was. Yeah. Almost exclusively because the gay guys all know Trixie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Well, my Ariana Grande impersonation. Do you guys know about that? It's not good, but maybe she's mad about that. I can't imagine that's the case. That's wild that you didn't get invited. You were like, yeah, we couldn't make it this time. But ask anybody here. I would get invited and then complain about having to get in drag and go.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah. I... I saw one tweet that was like, we're going to stop douching for the straight guys. Let's paint the town. I was like, what? Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You have to paint. It's your art. Really? When you guys came over to go swimming, you guys were staunchly against Los Angeles. Do you still feel that way? I have come a long, long way. You like it now? I love it. You do?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Let me tell you, you will move here and you will never have a friend ever again. Yeah. Nobody sees anyone. Just literally Thursday, Orville Peck, me and Brittany were supposed to go to dinner and Orville Peck canceled and then Brittany canceled. And that is the closest I've had to like a real friend.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
No one does anything. The level of fierce like flakiness among us all is so extreme. Okay. I need to be around people. So maybe you're swaying my opinion.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Not really.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Not at all.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
But then again, when I'm there, it's like for a press tour and I'm staying like in a hotel in Times Square. Like it's not, it's not the fantasy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It is, it really is. The other thing is the restaurants are, People are sitting at your table.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Like those rooms are so small. Like you're paying, there's even the fancy restaurants. Fancy hotel. You open the door, it hits the bed. You're like, okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
So what I want is to be asked and then tell everyone around me, well, I can't go. I have to sit in a corset. I can't do that. I was in a Barbie premiere in drag and even the Barbie movie, you guys, by the end of the movie, I was in the corset like... You can't sit in a movie theater and of course it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You guys are both very anxious, huh? Yeah. Do you worry about the long-term effect of your health? Autoimmune disorder? What did you say? Autoimmune disorder? Stress anxiety disorder?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
getting a rental car like because it was it was nice for me because i was laying in bed but i there's yeah there's these moments where like i mean i feel like it's insane like bob the drag queen is next door she's one of those people where i don't think she gets nervous i think the more heightened the situation is the more she actually plugs in and uses the energy the more people are there the more stakes are higher she's actually like a better and better performer yeah
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It's fucking irritating because it's amazing. Do you get nervous? Yes. Yeah. That's so crazy. That's so crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I get nervous to like go to lunch with a family member. That's crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Um, for DJing, not really. Um, for DJing, not really for standup. I used to like almost puke every time, you know, when I was doing the one woman shows, unless I was in the middle of a tour of a bunch of shows, I really would be like, it's going to be awful because comedy is so unpredictable. It was with DJing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I'm like, well, I know that I can play music and the variation on whether or not they like it is going to change every night, whatever. But usually, you know, I would get really nervous for things like, Oh,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Like I remember the first time I, right before I walked into Drag Race the first time, I remember looking in the mirror and thinking this was a mistake and they're all about to find out about you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
The first time I went on stage at a nightclub at 21, I remember being backstage in the dressing room and thinking this is a mistake and they're all going to find out that you're a liar who's abroad, who shouldn't be here. Like there's that level of you fucked. Yeah. You're fucked. Like self-deprecating thoughts. It's almost like you're in a bad dream.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Where the anxiety is so steep that you're like, should I just start running?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
They suck. No, they're not. They're not. They're not. Especially for you guys. They're there to see you because they love you. they're there to hear personal stories and like, they know what they get. Like Katya used to get weird about for the ball and the beautiful life. She'd be like, are people going to be mad that it's us just talking? And I was like, that's what they want.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I do think having a partner helps. Having Katya, I really never get nervous when we go out there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Katya and I on tour would be like, one night or the other night, it'd be like, it's your night, babe. Because I'm on the suicide watch. I need to go sell it. Or Katya, like if she's sick or I'm sick or whatever, we would really feel out the like, I need you tonight to be the 60 so I can be the 40 because I can't do it. Which is really, really nice to have that. Really nice.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Girl, can you imagine? And by the way, did you see Priscilla? I did. It's very dark. It's not exactly uplifting. So imagine me and I was going to wear like her like wedding dress with the veil and a big brown wig in the way. And imagine like the scene of Elvis abusing her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And you know, she's not here, is she? She's also so gifted and so funny and everyone loves her so much that I'm always like, Even if I dropped dead, these people would get their money's worth. So when you think of yourself as like, that's exactly how I feel about him. If you believe in your partner's talent, you're like, it's going to be okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Like best case scenario, like worst case scenario, I'm the like mid sidekick to something incredible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
So it's going to be okay. That's not true. Thank you. Yeah, of course. I want you to start crying, but do you guys cry for movies? Not, no. Movies will fuck. I will go to a funeral of a loved one and be like, is there going to be food? And then like a movie. Oh my, I watched that movie Lars and the Real Girl the other day about Ryan Gosling dating a sex doll. You were sobbing?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Have you watched Back to the Future recently? That movie also has that power. No, I haven't watched it. No, I saw the musical. How was it? Girl, I want to go. It's at the Pantages down the street from my house.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Do they sing Power of Love?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
No. Damn. But we could be wrong. Huey Lewis and the News? Who's to say? No. I love the beginning. It's like both of those songs are in it. We go, I'm late for school and he puts on the headphones and power of love. I love that fucking movie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Do you think that Marty and Doc Brown did?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You think he showed him as Doc Brown? Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
In the off chance that not everybody here has followed you, can you tell them where they can follow Good Children?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You guys are so funny and everyone loves you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You love each other so much. And you're both so well-dressed. And all of your success is well-deserved. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Sometimes you're like, okay, give it up for her. With you guys, it's just like, this industry is so random. But sometimes it happens to people who really deserve it. You guys really deserve it. Thank you so much. Thank you. That really means the world's coming from you, truly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I need you to leave now, though. Okay. We're out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Well, the crazy part about that story was that she came and sat right in front of me for the, for the premiere. She was right here, right here. And I was just like, um, okay. That's crazy. And that was the first time I saw Jason, uh, not Jason Elordi, Jacob Elordi in person. I didn't know he was an avatar. How does he look in person?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
He's seven, five, seven, five, I think is the height.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah. So you guys, if not everybody has heard of you guys, which I'm assuming they have, because let me tell you, the algorithm of the reels and the TikTok favors you guys.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
People started tagging me because they were like, oh, it's like the Trixie and Katya, but you know, not annoying.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
That's the crazy part about following you guys is I got to know you guys as adults talking about like hookups or a movie you saw or whatever. But then the guys, what you stuff we share on social media. Yeah. It's sick. You guys have like, like middle school VHS footage of each other.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
What was your like beginning projects you guys would start to film together?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
On like Facebook, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Well, we talked about this on the pod. You guys were doing this. You guys were doing drag. Pretend to be moms, which is gayer than anything. Pretend to be like a 40-year-old wine mom is gayer than getting fucked in the ass. And you guys were staunchly like, but love the girls.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
She's like, absolutely. You look amazing. Well, I think whatever repression you guys are feeling is mirrored by the level of denial that a parent can exhibit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I mean, I wish my parents were shocked. When I told my fucking mom, they all know this. My mom was like, well, Yeah. And I was like, but I was expecting like, you know, when I'm watching a grassy and someone comes out, they have to like run away from home, live in the park. Yeah. I was beckoned. I was ready to run away. I thought I'm ready to go live in a women's shelter, whatever I need to do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
My mom was like, yeah, we all knew you're like that easy. That's like, what the fuck scenario in many ways it is, but it is, but it was also kind of like, as somebody who wasn't quite ready to be called feminine at all, I was like, it takes away something. Well, fuck you too, bitch. You know what I mean? I wanted my mom to be like, really?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
The national faggot.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
And so you're playing football and then your wrist is just free swinging like this. Not exactly hetero.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Was it fucking wild to have Julia Fox on?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
It was. How did you guys get to do that? It was our one year anniversary of the pod. And you were the second year. It was a huge celebrity guest. And that was like, I mean, you guys are so big now. That was like the beginning of you guys.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Are you saying the word cricket? Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
All Katya's clothes are t-shirts that she makes on like Pixar. Yeah. Canva.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You gave it to her?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
Oh, yeah. I'm so scared of celebrities. And I'm so scared of famous people. And I'm very scared of famous people that I like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
I just cold call people. And like, I think you guys are like so, so young, but I know like Gen Z and stuff is like, that's their worst nightmare. Yeah. Is that like their mom calls them on the phone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
That was like an accident. It was for sure about dialing. Yeah. 414 number. I'm like, Hey, by the way, just to segue, you guys are going to Madison, Wisconsin. Holy shit. And we're trying to sell some tickets.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
You guys are going to Indianapolis, Madison, I believe Chicago. Yes. And you do a little Midwest tour. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie
We could ideate. Let's take a break.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Can I tell you the weirdest thing about being in the car? I've never been in the car alone for 10 years. Being in the car alone is creepy boots. It's creepy boots. I'm in there like, hello? Sometimes I just talk in there. I'll be like, hello? And there's no one in there. I'm going down the highway and it's so quiet and I'm too scared to turn on music because I'm like, I need to focus.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Absolutely, absolutely. And so I'm just like driving. I was on Coanga Pass and I was like, hello? I was probably behind you saying, hi. Did you drive here? I surely did. I surely did. Almost hit somebody coming out of the driveway. Girl, why not? Why not? My biggest fear is backing over someone's little dog. They're a little hot potato-sized dog that I can't see and the car won't beep for. True.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
The teacup chihuahua. The teacup chihuahua. Well, you know what, though? There was a lady. I went for an evening stroll last night after dinner like all the Russian couples do. And you know how they do it. You can spot a Russian couple. They're not talking to each other. They're looking straight ahead and they have their hands behind their back. What? But they're on the evening stroll.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
It's a very cultural thing. I see the Orthodox Jews going for walks on the weekends. Yeah, because they can't use electricity. Yeah, so you see them as families walking around. Yeah, but after they eat their borscht soup and whatever the fuck, after dinner, they're always walking around like, maybe they'll say a word to a dog like, but anyways, so. Do you like to walk?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
They, a bunch of them, and then a lot, some crazy ladies with their dogs, teeny little dogs on no leash. Girl. They got a little parka, they got a little doggy north face, a vest on, but no leash. Girl. I think we talked about this, but the gag for me is the 80 pound woman in LA with the Rottweiler. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
When you walk by, they just put their hand on the leash as if you're going to stop that stone cold killer dog. Yeah. It's like Polly pocket with the monster truck. What do you think you're going to do? Yeah. And I'm not saying that all dogs are dangerous and I'm not saying you should be fearful, but what is this leash thing? Or you ever go to, um, what is it? Uh, What's that place called?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Cafe Gratitude. No, you faggot. Why did you say that? Because everybody has dogs and children running amok. No, the Hollywood Reservoir. There's a big sign that says no dogs. It's all dogs in there. All dogs go to Hollywood Reservoir. What about this baby?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I like to walk around and I guess every piece of grass on the side of the sidewalk, there's an unwritten sign that I'm not aware of that says, please have your dog shit right here. And don't you dare pick it up. Don't you dare pick it up. Shit everywhere. Shit line streets. Beautiful West Hollywood shit line streets. Do you know what people will do?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You know, in front of my house, we have those bushes. Yeah. People will throw the shit in the bushes. So I'll get home and I'll just smell shit in front of my house. And I'm like, I don't have a dog. Why is my whole house smelling shit? But at least you're not stepping in it and tracking it through on your gorgeous parquet floors where that sumptuous mahogany would work. Let's take a break.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Morning shred. Where the girls wake up and take the sticker off here, take the under eyes off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The jaw strap. They're all sticking with the jaw strap on. The headgear. Mary, they all look like they were just in a car accident where they almost died. Where they're like time-lapse recovering from plastic surgery super quick. Yes. But yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Today's episode of Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by Smalls. You guys know I'm a lifelong vegetarian. Lifelong. I love animals. And you know, cats have wormed their way into my little heart. My sister, she has a cat named Cornbread that she's obsessed with that... You know when some people have cats that act like dogs, they say that they act like dogs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I think that that's just a weird way of not admitting that not every cat has a great personality. My sister's cat does. My sister's cat did something so funny. Cornbread walked into the room and said, is your refrigerator running? And I said, no. And the cat said, well, you better go catch it. And I said, oh my God, cats, stop. You got me. My sister's cat is her baby.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
My sister is not a child person. My sister barely loves to hold children she's related to. But my sister loves her cat. And honestly, her relationship with her cat has made me cat curious, let's say. Let's just say if I ever got the opportunity to get flued out and be the cat sitter, I would. If you're listening to this show, you know that cats cannot live without Smalls, okay?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
To get 35% off plus an additional 50% off on your first order, head to Smalls.com and use the promo code BALD for a limited time only. Smalls cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free ingredients you'd find in your fridge, and it's delivered right to your door.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You guys know for me, a busy person, if I ever had the privilege to cat sit, I would probably want to do something where I get the food delivered to me because who Who wants to go drive to get this stuff? Like, it's just not, it's not as fun as shopping for human groceries, okay? That's why cats.com named Smalls their best overall cat food. It's ingredients you'd find in your fridge.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
My sister's cat is a classic cat. Anything fish, anything chicken, very interested. My sister's cat prefers Smalls way more than previous cat foods. I did a taste test. I put two bowls side by side. I ate both. I'm going to tell you, they both taste like cat food, but one just tastes a little more like the ingredients I'd find in my fridge. Still not a believer in Smalls.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
New York Magazine called Smalls the best cat food, according to veterinarians. Okay. One BuzzFeed person said, my cat went completely ballistic for that stuff. And you know what? We do so much stuff for human beings on The Bald and the Beautiful. I'm very happy to be sponsored by a cat food company.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I do believe that animal nutrition is easily overlooked and the responsibility of owning a pet is looking out for their health the way you look out for your own. Okay. After switching to smalls, 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements. That's a big deal. Cats are so sensitive and they will hide symptoms of illness or not feeling well to the very last moment. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
But wait, I don't know why I was saying that. We were talking about you putting the little eye patches on trying to feel something. Oh, yeah. I feel like, oh. But those are postage stamps. I don't know what you're doing. You know what they look like? I feel like I'm putting pieces of ginger from sushi. Oh, sure. You know how slices of sliced ginger, that's exactly what they look and feel like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
They won't tell you their digestion is not doing good. You just have to like feed them the best you can. What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve. For a limited time only, because you are a Bald and Beautiful listener, get 35% off Smalls plus an additional 50% off your first order by using my code BALD.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
That's an additional 50% off when you head to Smalls.com and use promo code BALD. Again, that's promo code BALD for an additional 50% off your first order plus free shipping at Smalls.com. Thank you. Thank you. But what happens if you wake up from that amazing afternoon nap and you have a rash on your left cheek? Could it be an allergic reaction to the dust mites hiding in your pillow?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Or what if that new moisturizer from the Swiss Alps is contaminated with trace amounts of alpaca fur? ZocDoc calls this the, is this normal rabbit hole? And it happens to all of us. When the symptoms subside after a few hours, you move on and forget about it. But then the next morning, the same thing happens. Well, I'm here to tell you that enough is enough.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You need to book an appointment with a great doctor so you can figure out what's causing it. And when you finally find out that you have a severe allergy to edelweiss that is grown alongside the moisturizer farm in the Swiss Alps, you'll have ZocDoc to thank. With ZocDoc, there's no reason to delay. They make it insanely easy to find and book a doctor who's right for you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. They have over 100,000 doctors from literally any specialty, including allergists. So you can rest assured you can find the perfect doctor for that whole cheek rash situation.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You can filter for doctors who take your specific insurance, who are located nearby if you hate driving like me, or find ones with specific office hours to match your crazy drag queen schedule. And most importantly, you can find doctors who are highly rated by real life verified patients.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You can even see their real time appointment openings, choose a time that works for you and instantly book a visit with just a few clicks. Same-day appointments are also available in many cases, which is ingenious. The best part is that ZocDoc is completely free to use. You can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors with ease, which is why I love ZocDoc.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
It turns out that I am triple jointed and now I'm considering starting a career in the circus arts. ZocDoc helped me find the best doctor in my area and booked them fast. If I can find a great doctor, so can you. And all because of ZocDoc. Stop putting up those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash bald to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash bald. ZocDoc.com slash bald. ZocDoc.com slash bald. Can I tell you more about the queries? Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Tell me about the drive here. What was the highlight? What was the highlight? What was your favorite part? I keep, you know, can I say I talk during the drive? So because I haven't driven in so long. Now are you talking to other cars?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And also, they give you a little tool, which I'm not sure how that tool works, and I will not Google it. Oh, the scooper. The scooper. But how does the scooping thing, I can't figure out for the life of me. It's always an adventure. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Are you saying, move, you bitch? No, you're going to think this is crazy. I'll go like, turn. Okay. All right, we're going to break. Like I'll kind of talk. That's great. And then if people do things that are illegal, I will be like, Oh my God. Yeah. She didn't just turn into the nearest permissible lane. I was like, blinker, blinker, honey, blinker.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Every time someone doesn't use a blinker, I act like I just accidentally opened a browser and it was porn. I'm like, when someone, nobody uses the blinker on the highway. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We got, no, that is, yes. People are wilding out like that. People are. Sugar, we're going down swinging. Yeah. It's bad. It's just, nobody seems to be on the same page.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Nobody even seems to be reading the same book. Nevermind. Nobody's in the same library. Like it's crazy. Are blinkers woke? Like, is that what's going on here? Is it like pussy shit? It's like, I don't want, you don't need to know where I'm going. Oh, she used a blinker. I mean, I, I, I, again, are blinkers the lamestream media? Blinkers are the gotcha questions of the lamestream media.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
The gotcha questions of the lamestream media. Again, today with the three, I counted it three times. First of all, people do not know what the fuck to do with a stop sign. Let me tell you what to do with a stop sign. Okay. This, this is very basic. You're rolling up to the stop sign to my left. You get there. You have stopped two seconds, two full seconds before I've even begun my stop.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Go, you bitch. Go. It's waiting for me is confusing. You're not doing me a favor. It's your fucking turn, bitch. Go. Are you talking about a four-way stop? Yes. Okay. Like, girl, like, this is, we need efficiency. I don't know you. You don't know me. This is not your good deal. You don't else really gag me. It's not your good deal of the day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
but when someone goes you go i go i was gonna go i was here before you what are you talking about they're like three blocks down the street why don't you go ahead bitch i've been here born in the game i've been at this light for two weeks okay fuck or like the whole the the fucking comedy of errors when it's like you both do that then you both go then you both stop then you both go you might as well head on collision you might as well just get out of the car start making out
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You open the product, you take the little scooper, you set down the product, you take your pants off, you put that scooper up your butt, you give yourself a little pap smear. You scream. And then you taste test it and you say, why can't we all go to see? Mary, three minutes then, just like the last one, we're talking about filleting feces. Why are we always doing this?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I think you should start doing, but I can't do people do the people love to do these like teeny tiny, um, not good deeds, like masquerading as good deeds. Like, and I think that they really do think that this is me. I'm going to good person right now. You know, this is my good deed of the day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
It's like, no bitch, you're confusing flop, like play by the rules and we'll all get to where we're going safely. Right. There's some things I feel very ironclad about, which is you've turned the Well, yeah. You turn the blinker on at the precise moment it is indicated for you to turn. Like, you don't turn it on... I think in driving school they say turn it on before you brake. I don't understand.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You shouldn't be braking before your turn and then turn it on. Oh, no, no, no. I feel strong about that. You know how sometimes there are left lanes, multiple left lanes, and then before a light or before a street... I don't know, sometimes that can get a little wacky because people love to charge through like the left lane when they're really trying to go left at the light three blocks up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
But there are two other left exits onto streets. Do you know what I'm trying to say? It's people get a little wild. And I am the left green arrow police chief of Los Angeles. The radical left. I am. The radical left green arrow. I am. When it comes to that arrow, I am so hypervigilant. I am so hyper fixated and I will not take no for an answer. Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Just today, a good 14 cars missed an opportunity because one motherfucker was not paying attention. Only three people went. Right. That's. I know. It's going to be hard. It's going to be a hard year. It's going to be a really hard year. Can I tell you about the queerties? Oh, yes. Did you go and drag? No, I was doing after midnight all day. That's funny. I was doing after midnight all day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Oh, yeah. I was doing after midnight all day. So I got out of drag at like six, five or six. And I was like, all right, I'm just going to shower quick and then I'll go. You know, it's either get drunk at home or get drunk there. True. Was it open bar? No. Maybe it was. I don't know. It was both? Both? But if you want a margarita, espresso, martini, you got to cough up the money. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
So it was fun. I did a little like, you know, I don't have like nice outfits. So I want to go on the red carpet and take a nice picture, but I hate the way I look and everything I wear. So it's a double-edged sword where I like to feel like, ooh, we're here. I want to someday look back at this and be like, look at me on this little picture. But I hate my clothes, hate my face, hate my body.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Well, then you don't want Muschietti images up in that mix. Right. I know. When I go to Gigi and Nat's house, I kick the walls and go, who's this? But you get selling pictures of me, huh? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Grainy HD, ultra HD stubble shots of me looking haggard. Thank you, bitch. Thank you for highlighting the distinct color differences between my top and bottom teeth with that picture.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Why are you always doing this? You know what it is? Because it's one of the worst things that can happen. Yeah. It's one of the worst, and it happens a lot. Lunchtime talk. You gotta get the feces in there. Did you drive here? Mary, I drove here by myself. Tell me about it. Walk me through the whole thing. Started your outfit selection this morning.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Thank you for letting everybody know every single one of my flaws. Right. Yeah. So I don't know. I saw a door. Haven't seen a door in a long time. That girl. And a window. Hello. Hello. Hello. She was there with her boyfriend. They looked great. Some people just look great. Mama, that girl looks like, that girl is so, she is so pretty. She looked great. She's so pretty. I saw Crystal Method.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
She looked fun. I hate that name for obvious reasons, but like, I hate that name. I think it's probably because I'm a crystal meth addict. Like, and I'm trying to not do crystal meth. You know what I mean? That's the same reason you can't watch Mad Men. Triggering. It is so triggering. Everybody's smoking and they're making it look so hot. Yeah. But sorry, go ahead. Bob hosted. Bob was there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
She did? Yeah. She had a dress and a wig on. Did she, was Layla there? No, it was just, she was on her own. So she looked terrible. You're really trying to start beef with Bob on the sibling rivalry. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Bob is a great host. It moved quickly, which I appreciate. I saw Jinx last year. Love them both. Bob will keep the show moving.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Jinx, you know that you will hold us hostage for four hours. Rambletina. Rambletina. Rambletina. Bob is quick, concise, consistent, and yeah. And Bob just made some wonderful jokes. The girls, Delta Work won for her pod, but she wasn't there. So Willem came up with a cardboard cutout of Delta Work. That's awesome. That's fun. That's funny. It was some fun winners. I love Bob. She's a great host.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You can trust her to be in control. Yes. And roll with the punches, but also tonally, she knows how to do a serious moment. You don't have to worry about her. She's so competent. Right. She's fierce. When I'm like, she's hosting, it's going to be a great night. It's going to flow. Everything's going to be funny. Nothing to worry about. Yeah. So it was really fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Also, sometimes that's the only time you see certain gay people. I'm like, oh, there's Michael Henry. There's Roz. The psychic? Oh, that's Tyler Henry. What about Tyler, the creator? He wasn't there. Didn't make it. Wait, who's Michael Henry? I saw Money Exchange. Money Exchange. I saw Plane. Plane Game. I saw Morphine, obviously. I just thought, oh, I got drunk and took videos of her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I don't even know if she knows. Morphine again. Getting drunk and walking up to her and filming and walking away. Oh, and also there was a drag queen in, you know, the one in London called Meth. Me filming and screaming. Me coming up drunk from the bar filming and going, ah! Wait, wait, tell me, what is the genesis of morphine being your child?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Where did that, where does the paternity test come in? I just think she's the best, most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. So you claimed her as your child? Yeah, I started to feel very close to her. Parasocial relationship. Okay. I think she knows almost nothing about me. And I just like, when she's in the room, I'm like, everybody shut up. My daughter's present. Okay. Look at her hair.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I made that girl. She sprang from my womb. And she was talking about her car accident and she was still kind of recovering from that. And she had to get so many. What? Oh, that's right. Yeah. She, you know, she was upright and looked gorgeous, but she was like, yeah, still kind of dealing with that, but probably addicted to morphine at this point. Well, Boop.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
When they rolled in the morphine drip, she was probably like, the irony. You know? But everybody just looked, well, not everybody looked great. I don't know why I said that. Who looked horrible? People looked fucking crazy. Who looked horrible? Come on, Joan Rivers, tell me. You know, it's not my place to say.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Well, I almost wore my platform Crocs, and I thought, I can't drive in those. That's how a woman dies. And if you've ever driven with just socks or barefoot, it's gross. It feels weird. The toes touching the get. Don't say you like it. Mama. I do. And guess what? Oh, you wrap them around. No, I do the gas and the brake with just the big toe. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. Like SpongeBob. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I just hope that these big, tall men with their broad shoulders and square jaws have a great time with their no padding and tiny, tiny hair. I hope they're having a great time. Oh, you're talking about drag queens. Yeah. I just bricked up. Bricked up. Bricked up. Girl, Legos. Yeah, masonry. Bricked up Lego. Shrek 4. They're giving free masons out at night, like after work, brick layer. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I hope the girls are. But, you know, everybody was having fun. Oh, that's good. And that's fun. Now, do you win any money when you win a queer tee? I don't believe you do because I have received one myself. No, you get to go up there and take your little prize. And give a speech? I have a bunch of them. They're in my house. What did you win for? I was nominated for Trixie Motel Drag Me Home.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Who won reality? It was Drag Race. It can't be Drag Race. Well, the unbeatable juggernaut. This episode is brought to you by SeatGeek. Picture this. It's 1990. A very young boy named Brian is all alone in his room, listening to FM radio on his brand new Sony Walkman.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
While nodding his little head to all the top 50 hits of the day, suddenly the music comes back on after a crazy Eddie Electronics store commercial, and a diva screams, Everybody dance now! While a pulsating beat fills his eardrums, creating an intoxicating mix of dance-pop magic. Well, guess what? It's now 2025 and I want to relive that formative moment of my life.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Thanks to SeatGeek, I just purchased two tickets for C&C Music Factory Live. And just like that squirrel trying to get a nut to move your butt, the SeatGeek app has over 28 million downloads, making it the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Right now, you can get tickets to see Mary J. Blige, Vanilla Ice, Hamilton, and even sporting events like soccer and baseball. We're talking Beyonce, Kendrick Lamar, and SZA, Katy Perry, Dua Lipa, and more. The best thing about SeatGeek is that the app is insanely easy to use. I'm currently investing all of my income to ensure that my home doesn't double as a mold production factory, so...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I'm being careful about my big ticket purchases this summer. SeatGeek has an innovative system for people on the lookout for a great deal. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so I know I'm getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
If you like seeing live concerts, theater, and sports, you need to get on SeatGeek, friends. Just for our fans, you can use code BALD10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off tickets with promo code BALD10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Again, that's code BALD10 for 10% off tickets. Thank you, SeatGeek, for sponsoring this week's episode. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Ritual, okay? I want to talk to you about changes in gut health. It seems like everything in your body, in your mind, in your spiritual bubble is connected to your gut microbiome.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
We're learning so much about the gut microbiome and how it's the key to mental health, immunity, and of course, digestion, right? If you're looking for digestive support, Ritual has got your back, or rather, your biome, with Symbiotic Plus, a three-in-one supplement of clinically studied pre-, pro-, and postbiotic to support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Well, I don't know, but yes. In SpongeBob, he is taking his driving test and he's like, stop. And then he's like, just Patrick says, just use your big toe. And his big toe rips through the shoe and just pushes through it. That's you. I'm like those Margella camel toe shoes. I just got that blue. But I, you know, and I used to do the left leg up out of the, but then I saw death proof.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You guys, I have my little pill organizer with all my little vitamins and minerals and all my arthritis medication and everything, and Ritual's just an easy little thing to pop in there. And the pills are really pretty, side note. I don't know why that matters, but they are.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I like the products because it's just not the first thing I think about, but especially since I'm immunodeficient, the way my body processes food and my gut is so connected to your immune system. It's very easy to not think of it that way, but it's kind of the most important thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
The Daily 3-in-1 Prebiotic, Probiotic, and Postbiotic features two of the world's most clinically studied probiotic strains to support gut and digestive health. Once daily, pop of mint scented capsule. It really, it's a very soft mint, I will say. It's not a Tic Tac vibe, but it's certainly better than that kind of waxy, plasticky flavor sometimes you get from vitamins.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You pop open the container and it just has a very soft mint little kick to it. And it's also vegan-friendly, all right? Free of major allergens, animal products, weird fillers, and artificial colors. So get your gut going. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash bald. That's ritual.com slash bald for 25% off your first month.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I like to go to that shit though because it is all the fun gay people. That's the most fun award show. I've never been because they've never invited me. I wonder why they have a personal vendetta against me. Probably because I'm so sexy that they'll think that I'll put everybody to shame. Does she get invited? What are you talking about? I don't have a house. When would you realistically go?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
When someone invites me. Can we just be so for real? I did not receive. You could be being paid to go and your guest, your companion could be Julia Roberts and you wouldn't go. That is patently false. And how dare you? Because on Tuesday nights, Julia and I play Mahjong. Tuesday night was last night, right? Yeah. Mahjong at Julia's. I went late and left early.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I said, no, ma'am. No, ma'am. No, ma'am. Kurt Russell's not going to get me. Also, Tempest du jour. She lost a leg in a car? Let's take a break. Is it too early? It's too early. We're only like four minutes in. We have a call in. Call in. Call Tempest du jour. You'll need to unlock your iPhone first. I hate when they say that. You'll need to turn on location services.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Went next door and got some Italian food. Gemma in Hollywood. Gemma's great food. No, who would look the best? Who was the best dress of the evening? At the risk of saying morphine again, I'm going to not say morphine because I think she is the fucking best look. She makes everyone just look like a fucking dog. Really? She makes everyone look like a fucking dead dog. Oh my God. A dead dog.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
That's funny. Who looked really beautiful last night? Was Farrah there? Because this morning I saw a clip of Farrah on Delta that I will cherish for the rest of my life. She's everything. She was talking about killing a spider and how she found a spider in her house and she was really worked up. So she Googled it and she thought it was a brown recluse. And so she killed it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
But then later on she found out it was a wolf spider and she just... She was so guilty. She felt like she'd brushed with death. Oh, wait, you're not supposed to kill those? No, because wolf spiders are harmless and she felt such a pang of guilt that it was like a sugar to her core. And I was like, that is so funny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Looking like a flawless, gorgeous diva talking about the guilt of having killed a spider. It is amazing. She's too pure for this world. Yeah. Who else did I see? Oh, Lux Noir London looked pretty good. Monet was in this like, you know when people do like oversized giant suits? Yeah. I hate it. Yeah, I thought, I said, I love your bathrobe.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And she laughed and, you know, but also I'm not the, who cares what I think of your clothes? Of course not. Who cares what I think? I mean, I am, do you know about that Nikki guy? I'm sure you, I know you do. It's the guy who's like, no, yes, slay, incredible, needs to work harder. You know, like he goes down the list. He's like a super, super bitchy fag fashion critic. I'm sure you know him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I'm sure you do. He was actually on my episode of After Midnight. He's very opinionated, very fashion-focused. Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok, he iconically says, like, terse, succinct, funny reads of fashion. Sometimes these outlandish looks, he's like...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
unbelievable and i'm like what so it's very subjective it's very subjective i don't know when i don't like something i go consider the source me you're probably wrong but i don't like it but but who fucking cares what i think i know who cares what i think but that's what i love about fashion it's so divisive and it's so subjective and people get so angry yeah that shit
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
but Monet won an award which was great what did Monet win for biggest suit yeah Monet won for Dungeons and Drag Queens Dungeons and Drag Queens biggest suit shut up largest apparel I got to meet Joella Dynasty that girl from Drag Race who was like you know sometimes when the legends go on Drag Race and they don't do well like love that shit Yeah. Yeah. It was exciting. DeLulu. DeLulu. DeLulu.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
That's how I want my drag queens. Yeah. Yeah. DeLulu Lemon. I don't want like rooted in reality. These people are in disguises. Right. They have fake names. You don't want humility. You don't want, you don't want like politeness. You just want DeLulu Lemon. This person was porn. Um, I think their name is Zane Phillips. I definitely know who that is. I do. I couldn't believe I just have. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
He was in the movie with, um, What an absurdly attractive person. He was in Fire Island, among other things. Yeah, just looked great. A lot of the girls were doing weird shit. Like a lot of the girls were doing, Frankie Grande came up to me and I said, girl, I said, are we doing X-Men? She was like, I guess we are. This is pink in X-Men. I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
She came up to me and I go, girl, I was watching the red carpet. I said, I guess the girls are doing X-Men this year. She was like, I guess we are. Also these blue Cantrell glasses. This is giving Blue Cantrell. Who is that? This is Blue Won'trell. You don't know Blue Cantrell? Ladies got hit him up style. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was fun. I like to go.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You'll need to put on a better outfit. You'll need to fix your hair, you ugly bitch. Yeah. You'll need to get some braces, you jagged tooth nut case. Wait, before I do that quick, I got to be on After Midnight and I got to hit him with this motherfucker. Tracy! Chaka Khan. Oh! they were writing the jokes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I like to have the drinks and I like to see everyone's outfits. I like to see the people. I got to see Sam Pancake, Roz Hernandez. Who was the most famous person there, you think? Who would you say is the most critically acclaimed person? Well, one of the actresses from Wicked was there. Cynthia Erivo? Marissa Bode was there. Absolutely. And that was fun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And they said she was the first actress to use a wheelchair to play that character who's in a wheelchair ever, which is an interesting comment. I was like, oh yeah, wow. And then the director was there, right? John Chu? Not the director. No. Somebody else was there. It was the girl. Have you prayed today? Isn't that horrible? I go to these things and I'm like, there were people.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
There were people and they were there. What am I going to do when they walk on stage, open my phone and start Googling them? Do you know about this girl on TikTok, the model who's like, it's so outrageously funny. It's like, it's giving Mona Lisa. It's Mona Lisa. Have you prayed today? No. You don't know me? Is it Alex Constantine? I don't know how to say your last name. You don't know? Oh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
No, I'm hung up on, my current obsession is Lavina, the ex-Amish cook. Oh, that is why. They were going to be making French baguette. The special way that you make the, it's awesome. She was making like a tart and she said, first you pour in the citric acid. Her accent is so awesome. Sounds very jarring. And she's a great cook and she's sharing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I also am like, you know, most people who are Amish don't. get a chance to go on Tik TOK and share these recipes. So it feels like very privileged information that we're like, it's a window into a secret world. It's so cool. I mean, I love, I bought both her, I bought her cookbook and I bought her book of home remedies.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I don't know. It's in the Amish book. Are you talking about the cayenne lemon and all that shit? Oh yeah. Maple syrup and cayenne lemon. Here's the thing. There's also, I think you take laxatives too. That's part of it. That is, I, now I'm, listen, not a doctor, obviously not a nutritionist, not an influencer who tries to influence people. That's me. I don't try to do it, but I think it's me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Can I say, I don't think weight loss should be glorified, but if you're trying to... You just got to burn more calories than you consume. So in Australia, I said, I'm going to get on the horse. And I've been on the horse. And I was... Horse means heroin. I lost five pounds. I lost five pounds.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And I tried to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did exercise and ate well. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Good for me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I'm not glorifying weight loss, but I wanted to lose five pounds and I did it. Well, fucking a, that's great. I mean, I'll probably swing back the other way in just a few days. Get back up there. It'll be back tomorrow for sure. Well, I mean, think of, I always think about Oprah. She's a billionaire.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And I said, listen, I, I know this doesn't make sense, but at some point I have to say shocker. Great. Only real fans will know. Only real fans will know. And then pin straight wig. And those, um, those, that 2002 outfit she's wearing it with the glasses, the, the blue Cantrell look. And she's like, shocker con was the weakest link. Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And she's always struggled with her weight, always struggled with, and it's just been a lifelong struggle for her, for the ultra rich person. She has access to everything a human being could possibly have access to. Sure. And she still struggles with, with, um, food and weight. So it's hard. Yeah. You know, um, I, you know, I think we talked about it on one of the live shows. Yeah, I know we did.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Cause I made a PowerPoint. I have been deep diving on, I've been deep diving on the Amish. Like I know too much. You know, I know too much. I've consumed so much documentary content about the Amish. I can't, I could tell you everything. I could tell you everything about the Amish now. And I ended my little binge by watching for richer or poorer that nineties movie with Tim Allen and Kirstie Alley.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
They play rich people who are in trouble with the IRS. So they go into hiding with the Amish. I think I remember this one. So they go from like high rise New York. Systract vibes. Yeah. So they pretend to be Emma and Jacob Yoder. Okay. How do they do? Well, you know, she's like churning butter and doing embroidery and he has to like work on a farm. And of course they.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
A lot of country mouse, city mouse kind of things. You know, through hard work and community, they learn, wow, we've been shitty people. And they join them in the end. They don't join them in the end. They are like, wow, we've been shitty people. And they fix their marriage. They kind of like. And I know it's difficult to agree with either of their politics now. Yeah, we're not getting into it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
But at the time, I hadn't watched a movie since I was a kid. I was like, this is a great movie. Well, you know, it's funny when you revisit a lot of 90s gems, movies that you recall having been just comfort movies or lovely movies. Or you just, oh, that's one of my favorite movies. And then you revisit it and you realize, oh, my God, the plot of Overboard is fantastic.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
This man kidnaps this woman and forces her into slavery and rapes her. I mean, you know what I mean? It's pretty intense. He forces her into a sex slave. And then they had the gall to try to flip the script and make it woke by doing a... Having it be a man? I know. Like what? Yeah. And it's a bummer because it is a full Stockholm Syndrome reversal pretty woman situation.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Like she does – I was a rich bitch and I was an asshole and I should be poor and I love this man and I'll go with him and it's all good. It's wild. Yeah. Because I enjoy it so much. Well, you have to be critical, right? You have to – You got to reevaluate knowledge. And you know what it represents? What growth awareness society slightly improving. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
If it's weird to watch now, it means that we've learned more. We've yeah. You know, so like, I mean that era of, I mean, I mean, I watched a lot of movies in the 90s. So that era was so rife with the trans panic storylines or the twists or whatever, you know, like soap dish and all that stuff. It's wild. Oh my God. Ace Ventura. Crazy. Crazy. I see. Every time I think of that, I'm like, holy shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Because I was with my parents watching the crying game. Okay. I never seen that. Okay. So what happens is there is a, the rope comes off and there's a, a tight shot of a dick and balls. Yes, it's a full frontal reveal. Really? Yes. And the guy who is about to have sex with this woman, trans woman, is horrified. It's a horrifying moment.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And then I, after I posted it, somebody commented, the Vivian did this and I Googled it. And Vivian is on the weakest link. And the Vivian just goes, shocker con. Oh, I love that shit. Ahead of her time. Love it. Creating, constantly raising the bar for all of us. She did it before Rue? No. No, she did it after. Like a callback to Rue. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. It's the way Rue says it too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And then, of course, Ace Ventura takes us to the next level where it's the most disgusting revelation that could possibly take place. Everyone throws up. Everybody throws up. And the Goonies are not the Goonies. But, you know, when it's throwing up, it's contagious. I was like, but this is so, it's so not true. You have a penis.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I was going to say, there's a lot of things on the body that can be gross. A penis or a vagina is not one of them. But it's not gross. No, it's not gross. It's like a, huh. I didn't know. It's like the kombucha girl. It's like Brittany Broski. It's like, ah. Right. You know what I mean? But it's not. Right. If you have festering maggoty wound, I would say. Which I do. Yeah. Ugh.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
My first boyfriend. It's crazy though. It's not, it's not based in reality. Right. My first boyfriend was uncircumcised and I had never seen that before. And so it was the first man I'd ever been with. We're in my dorm room.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And I remember just pausing and going like, I've never seen that before.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
It's interesting. I need a tutorial. Yeah. And I got a tutorial. Boom. For a couple of years. You got to, you got to stretch that thing over my head. I just, I do whatever. It's, I mean, it has nothing to do with, That type of reaction has everything to do with the person reacting and nothing to do with the person or the body. No. You know? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And it's so – it's just so funny to me because like another movie where there's like a trans panic shock twist is like just one of the guys when he –
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
opens his uh tuxedo and there are two gorgeous yeah yeah yeah like double d's terry's got the double d's i have seen that movie yeah one of the guys right just one of the guys with the the sock in the front and yeah yeah yeah it's just so crazy what i do love about these type of storylines it happens in yentl it happens to see what i love about it is somebody's somebody having an
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
a midlife am i gay crisis because they start to fall for this character and they don't know so then they're like am i less i love that it's so funny it's so funny people are so i've had moments where i go am i not gay really yeah when i was looking at all that uh
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
porn with women i was like am i bisexual i know i don't think so i know it's like i that it's it's so funny that it's it's it's always like i am a this or that am i am i this which immediately cancels out the other thing it's like no it's like i like broccoli doesn't mean i don't like carrots do you know what i mean like chili or you're like chili with noodles it's like do i like broccoli do i not like you know what i mean it's like i love josh
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I love Josh. I love dicks. That's another, whenever I'm in Beverly Hills and I drive by that fountain, cause you can see that fountain. I always say, I love Josh. I love Josh. You have to say, I love Josh. You gotta say it. You gotta say it. You gotta say it out loud. You gotta say it out loud. You gotta beep the horn too. Girl. Beep it though. The Senate thing. Did you see that clip, bitch? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You did exactly right. Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan. It's like confident. Can I tell you, I was waiting to say it and I, you know, I had these ideas of what to say to this little, and I just, my little boner got so hard. My little twig, I got bricked. Bricked up. Bricked up. My little Tootsie Roll. Let me see you Tootsie Roll. Ricked up under that little gown. And I just screamed, Chaka Khan.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
It was at a Congress. I hope I get this right. Congress, some kind of hearing or some kind of congressional session. And the, a delegate from, it was, fuck, I can't remember her name. Trans woman, an elected politician was misgendered purposefully by this, by this guy. And then she playfully referred to him as madam and,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And then the guy refused to – and then another guy intervened and said this is unacceptable. You – But the guy wouldn't budge. He would not call her ma'am. He wouldn't call her madam chairman or madam secretary, whatever. These people are dumb. And it was fucking crazy. And I'm just like, you just grow up. Girl, dying on these little dick hills. Tiny dick hills. Tiny dick. You go ahead, girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Girl, teeny little dick ass motherfuckers think they got a big dick. Like Donald Trump is opening what? A used Tesla dealership in the parking lot of the White House. We have more important things to worry about. Oh, my God. It's just so stupid. And these are people – I think the purpose of the meeting was like a defense. It was – the subject matter of the meeting was like very heavy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And he's getting hung up. He won't call her mad. It was just – mama, it's just too much. It's horrible. It's all so bad. It's so corny. McBride. Sarah McBride. Oh, yes. They said, Mr. McBride. He was like, Mr. McBride is crazy. Crazy. What a turd. Yes. He was just a piece of shit. And then so the guy, I think the leader, he just adjourned the meeting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
They just adjourned the meeting and the meeting was done. And I was like, our taxpayer dollars. People are trash bags. You know? People are garbage. Meanwhile, all these fucking politicians are just dicking around, eating that fucking Spago, getting bread bowls of Panera on our dimes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Even if you don't believe in, let's say, if you want to call it ideology, if they call it, I don't believe in trans ideology, whatever. even if you don't believe in it, why don't you just say it? Just fucking say it. Just say it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Well, because I could say my policy is that I don't agree with it, but you could still just, I think though, because there's a, say madam, it doesn't mean you, you're going to, no, I think it does. I think I, and I, and I, and I do, I understand that they, they are bowing. They are allowing some hideous ideology to, to be true, which they can't abide. And,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
It's like fucking JK Rowling that fucking just that hideous hag will just die on that billionaire mountain of like, of, of turf, uh, trans denial. And it's like, wow, just. Obsessed. They're obsessed with it. Obsessed. Obsessed. It doesn't affect them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Obsessed with getting assaulted by some fucking, like, I mean, Hollywood, some kind of Brian De Palma-esque, like, trench coat he-she in a bathroom trying to attack people that doesn't exist. It's just crazy. Well, I do love these tweets from, like, you know, People who are very passing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I love these tweets from like a very passing trans man being like, fine, I'm coming to the bathroom with your wife. Yeah. It's just like some hot guy. It was like, also, did you see that TikTok I sent you? Which one? Which one? Wait, wait, wait. I got to play this audio. I'm sorry. This was so horny. This was so horny. Did you breathe it in? I love to send you TikToks. I know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And it just felt so good. It was very satisfying to say, just in any context. It's like, ma'am, do you have any idea how fast you're driving? Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan. Girl, you know how RuPaul says, oh, I don't see how that's any of your business. That's like her go-to catchphrase. I'm like, girl, go with Chaka Khan. I know. I love it. How are you today, RuPaul? Chaka Khan. Yeah, it's fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I usually don't open them. Why won't you be my friend? No, I want to be your friend, but I just don't. I can't do TikToks. I know I'll get sucked in. This is my favorite. This is Republicans talking about, this is a creator, Pineapple Honeydew says, this is Republicans talking about trans women in the men's restrooms.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
That's what they said. They're obsessed with the genitals. They are. They're obsessed with it. Because they're grooming and groping. They're obsessed with it. Because they're grooming and groping at the theater, Bobert. It's also like, are you telling me, as a cis man, that if you were in a bathroom where there was women, you wouldn't be able to-
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You'd be kicking down bathroom doors and saying, show me those titties and your pussy. Is that what you're saying? I'm sorry. I can't go to the urinal because my dick is compelled to slide between your big hot breasts because I know there might be a woman in that stall over there. Yeah. I'm too erect to pee. You're a fucking pervert. You're a weird pervert. Exactly. You're a weird fucking pervert.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I can't stand it. It is such a thing. I need to bring your cock to the cock room. It's weird. It's so weird. It's also weirdly telling trans women like, come pee with me. Like it's kind of pervy in that way. But let me tell you something. Let me tell you motherfucking something about when I'm in the airport and have to go to the public restroom. I don't want to go there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I wish they were all one-person bathrooms. I don't ever want to go to the bathroom. At my house, at your house, at anybody's house, at the airport, at Wendy's. It's disgusting. I wish we hadn't. And it burns when I pee. And it always has. I always have hemorrhoids. And the blood. It smells like shit. It's just something we have to get over with. Nobody's trying to hang out in a bathroom.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
It's just not something we're doing, okay? Like, yeah, certain gay guys cruise the Home Depot. That's their gig, okay? That doesn't concern you. Okay. That's their gig. That's out in the open. It's Adam and Eve, not Black and Decker. Okay. You stay away from the Home Depot. You go to Lowe's. Okay. Just get out of here. Okay. We got to go. But wait, you are so right about that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
It's like, if that's what's on your mind. You're a pervert. It's you, baby. It's you. You are the problem. So you think that if you knew there was a woman going pee in here, you would be so wrecked and bricked. Yeah, kick that door down and open that mouth so that pee stream goes in your mouth. You couldn't pee with a woman you don't know pee. Too hot, too erect, too arousing, too provocative.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
That's a pervert. And I think a lot of these bathroom things, it's because women don't feel comfortable peeing with men around. Well, also, you know what I mean? Just the fact that women have to grow up and live their lives under the constant threat of assault by men everywhere. Also, the bathroom in the street on the horse race.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I don't see how that's any of your business. Let's get her on the line. Who are you? Oh, Tempest.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
The paradox is if you if you're Republican and you're obsessed with making these biological females use the women's room, you're sending men into the women's room. You're actually sending, by sending trans men, you're just sending men into the woods. You need to send that pussy to the pussy room. The cock to the cock room and pull your cock out in the cock room. Isn't that crazy? It is insane.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I gotta go. Everybody, it's just bad. It's bad out there. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's, it's, and it's going to be, we're going to be here until the end. Yeah. But please pour one out for Madden McBride. Girl. Madam McBride. Poor went out for Miss McBride. I woke up to a tweet. A conservative tweeted that person before they transitioned and said, he will always be he.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And I was like, what is wrong with people? Girl, grow up. What is wrong with people? You are mentally ill, okay? Mentally ill. Mentally obsessed. Obsessed. Obsessed. Beyonce in obsessed. Why are you so obsessed with me? Girl, I want to know. Boots. Always following into my stall and yanking on my crank? Chaka Khan. Goodbye. Goodbye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Girl, we're doing the bald and the beautiful right now. Say hi. What's up?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Hey. We were talking about legs getting ripped off. You almost got your leg ripped off, right? Well, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Now, do you have no recollection of your, like, cruising through the summer breeze with the leg hanging out the window with your crocheted bikini top on? No?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I was driving down the street, sucking my own cock. Well, I love you, and I had to prove you. I'll call you later. Okay. All right, love you guys. Love you. Bye. See, I do know Tempest du Jour. You do? And you didn't believe me. Well, she never answers my FaceTimes or phone calls. You know, she and I will call up once or twice a year.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Can I complain about health for one second? I know we're supposed to have gratitude. One of my fun little symptoms of my arthritis is just my skin rejects glue, makeup, shaving. The back of my neck where I wear a wig will get a rash. The lids where the glue is. The eyebrows where the glue is. The hairline where the glue is. Anything that rubs. The armpits where the sequins touch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
She always picks up, you know, she's like, oh, I was just, you know, spoon feeding my emu. Yeah. Or burying my bald eagle. I know. Well, she, she houses and homes and rescues all these animals. Exotic animals. But many of them are, you know, not at peak health. Yeah. It's like poor Vanderpump. She has all these rescue dogs. She'll adopt a dog that's 12. Yeah. Well, you know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And so you know you're not, you know. But if you're going to go out, you might as well go out in that poisonous moat and those lovely furniture. Honey, let me tell you, nobody lives like her dogs, okay? I know. They have a better life than me, okay? Seriously. You know, we go to the restaurant, she puts it right on the table. Now, what do you think about that? Animals in restaurants.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You know, is it possible that I'm an animal lover, but I don't think I would even let my pet sleep in bed with me? Is that okay? I have a boundary with that. Hot dog breathing in my face. Right. Also, I mean, I think it's going to depend on the breed of dog. I say a St. Bernard in the bed in your twin bed is going to be a little bit of a issue rather than teacup Chihuahua in your California King.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You know what I mean? That's an Lana Del Rey album. Tick up Chihuahua and the California King. Tick up Chihuahua and the California King. Rolled over, smashed him to death. Yeah, call Lana. I'll call her sister Chuck. Hold on. Chucklin? Actually, I'll call Margaret Qualley. You call Jack Antonoff and then see what we read. Ooh. Guess who? Why do you keep airdropping me porn? Who?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Our producer is airdropping me porn. No, she's not. Oh, they're just photos of me in drag. Hard to tell. Guess who's jealous of the photos in drag? No one. I went to the Queerties last night. What? I love that I did not get an invitation. It is the... Can I say... Where? To the crudies. Where? Where's the invitation? Where's the envelope? Tracy, bring up the email. Bring up the email.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Where's the envelope? Where's the envelope? Do I receive an envelope? I do not. Where are the receipts? Yeah, where are the receipts? I went... Is Zhao Jinping going to flood my basement? Yeah. I always go because it's always in Hollywood. It's right by our house. Our house? Yeah, kind of. You just come and go whenever you want, huh? Apparently I leave towels in every room.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Everybody listening at home, I asked her to stay at my house. I did not leave towels everywhere. I did not. Let's talk about it, bitch. Because you know what? This is what happened. Let me tell you what happened. Exactly what happened. Let me tell you exactly what happened. This is exactly what took place. I went into the home and I invited my friend Joseph over. We went into the hot tub.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
We had food. He left. And then you came home. Wait, no. You came home that night, right? Yeah, my flight was canceled. So I didn't end up staying the night. But I think prior to that, I had taken the key you gave me with the set of keys and I put them together. And then so the gardener couldn't get in, right? Or something like that. Yeah, so the housekeeper, the gardener couldn't get in.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
So then when and you were on the phone, the tone was like, I could tell that you were irritated. And I was like, oh, I can't do it. Did I scare you away? You scared the shit out of me. shit. This is what happened. I said, I said, can you, I said, can you make sure that you leave that key? And you said, yeah. Yeah. And then the next day I said, Hey, did you leave that key? And you said, nope.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I said, right. Well, that's what we talked about. I know. So, and I was like, and I was like, Oh gosh, if that is how I feel about this, this mistake, what if something really bad happens and I'm responsible for it? I can't do that. What can't do that? Ooh, that gave me the chills. Right. Give me the chills. So yeah, I'm sorry about that. That's okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Well, that's great. Everything gets... Everything the next day is like... Thought that shit was pretty cute, didn't you? Thought that was pretty fucking funny, didn't you, bitch? You know what it gives? You may remove your vigs. Girl. And it's underneath all that nasty stuff underneath.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
But it's like, that house is such a big responsibility. It's like, I'm surprised you don't have a house manager. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Well. I can't even keep three rooms clean. You know, I think about selling it only because it is a little big. It's so beautiful. But I also kind of want children. So what if someday I need the rooms for the kids?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Also, they've got plenty of, you've got multiple options for drowning them. And it's great to have when my mom, like I like to host Christmas. My mom comes, everybody comes for Christmas and everybody has a bedroom. It's like, it's very nice for hosting family. Now, what about this though?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I mean, I don't mean to blow up your spot, but now I did happen to notice this is something I'm hyper aware of. I love doors that shut and windows that close. I feel very exposed in your home. A lot of windows. Yeah, a lot of windows. Yeah. You don't mind that? No, I like every window open all the time. I like natural light. I don't care who's looking in. Interesting. What are you going to see?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Can I tell you what happened the other day? Tell me. Someone wander in, take a bath in the bird bath. Someone came in. Okay, so this is part of the driving story. So two days ago, I was pulling out of the driveway in my rental. Your teeny tiny motorway. The motorway. Yeah, the motor court. Motor court. What do you call that? Motor court. Motor court.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And it's one of the doors that goes like this, side to side driveway. Yes. Hit it. Hit it. Because you were hasty. You didn't know she was all the way out yet. I'm learning the love language of the beeps. Because this car will beep when there's a car 10 feet away. Baby, those beeps. So if you're beeping when something's here, how am I supposed to know? The boy who cried beep. Girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I can't deal with it. Mary Louise Dreyfuss in beep. That's the fucking thing. It's horrible. It should beep like, oop. And then closer is, sweetie. And then right next to it should be like, oop. Tell it on the mountain because the three days – I told you this the other day. A third day of driving that motherfucking Range Rover because I learned I could not trust the beep. The beep.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I went – I ignored the beep and scraped the whole fucking side of that thing. The beeps are inconsistent. The beeps. They're unreliable. They're annoying as hell. And they also provide you – they allow you to like maintain this like – Lack of alertness. Thank you. You know what I mean? You should be looking. I am looking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I'm going to have to become one of those Hollywood starlets that just sits home slugging in a giant goop mask with a head towel on until like once a month when I go to an event. That's what's going to happen. Baby, that's me. Yeah. I've been getting into the under eye things. They don't do nothing. I don't care. I love it. But you feel it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And so when it's beeping all the time, it makes me feel like, well, I've heard this thing beep when there's a car eight feet away. Right. Yeah. So if I am hitting the fucking driveway. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
you beep what you sow you beep you reap what you beep like and so then that was a couple days ago also they should say they should give you a like like a b c d e f g kind of music lesson about the beeps so it's like this is because i was totally unfamiliar with the cadence of the emergency correspondence like like there's no there's no gradiated urgency like What is the range?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
You know what they should replace it with? This is what they, I swear to God, when you're like 10 feet from the car, it should go, girl. And then when you get like five feet, it should be like, girl. And then it should go, oh. No, and then it should be like, girl. And then shaka-kan. And then shaka-kan, right when you back into a person. Shaka-kan. Like that's what it should be.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Otherwise this, beep. I, because I have, when I, so I'm pulling out of the, um, I have a driveway at the place I'm standing right now. That is, uh, very, there's multiple options to hit people in cars. Okay. So I've got a, it's very, uh, the gate opens this way. And then I have to put both windows down to have my ears open. listening for traffic and I'm sorry, I don't trust the camera.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I don't know why I know it's accurate. I just don't trust it. I'm scared of it. So I'm, I know there's nothing this way. You better believe I'm looking like back, like it's 1986 and I'm in a car with no power steering, you know? And that's what I do. Cause I just don't trust it. I'm this, I do both. I mean, it is correct. The camera is, it is not, it's not playing the truth.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Cause we trust the mirror. I don't know. So I hit the driveway thing with the mirror. Sometimes it can't.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I wish you still had that sound effect we should bring back the soundboard I miss the soundboard the soundboard was country so I hit the door and it won't close and I'm trying to freak out because I'm trying to get wherever I'm trying to go and it won't close so then my little house guest is pressure washing and somebody in a domino shirt walks onto the property and goes this is my favorite house on the block can I just look around
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
What? And they said, no. Do they spray them? No. Can I just look around? No, there's pressure washers. They'll take your skin off. I know. Baby, I don't want to do food porn. Don't look at my way for free. Charge. Blur it out. See this? I pressure washed the skin off my foot when I was in like fourth grade and I still have a scar. Mama, this toe is a hammer time. What are you talking about?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
No, I just... You go to bed with one ice cube on each eyelid. The other day, I was like... What was I doing? I was doing the meditating because it's 20 minutes. So I put on the Korean face mask. Sure. Then I secure it with the gel pads because it was lifting. So I needed to secure it. What do they call it in the morning? TikToks call it like my morning... It's like an unpeel, my morning shred.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
No, it's not. It's a hammer time on them toes. What's wrong with it? It's a hammer time. Girl, the men suck it. So, the men suck the toes. Hammer time. Girl, you got chicken feet, honey. I got ankles bigger than most people's biceps. Thank you. Thank you. Quadriceps down low. That's what I got. Ankles that you can only read about. So then I drove myself here today. How? Tell me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I drove myself here today. How did it go? What was the emotional temperature of that drive? I hit the driveway door again. And I knocked it off the track and broke it again twice in three days. Who let the dogs out? So I'm trying to get here. I don't have any makeup on yet. I'm trying to get here. And I'm trying to get out of the car. The car stalled on the street. What do you mean stalled?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Because I stopped it and put the park on. The door's open. I'm trying to grab the door and pull it closed. I'm like, what the fuck? And I just, you know, got here anyway. Somebody's probably in my house now. Yeah. Jerking it. Stroking it. But I had a really good time. I like driving. Can I tell you the weirdest thing about driving again? Did you take the highway? Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Introducing: The Kelly Mantle Show!
Hi, it's Trixie. I just want to get on the pod and let you all know that Kat and I are executive producers of a hot and sexy new podcast, The Kelly Mantle Show, starring, you guessed it, Kelly Marie Mantle. You guys, we love Kelly. We've toured the world with Kelly. Kelly is the funniest, the prettiest, the smartest. And also in the best ways, the dumbest.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Introducing: The Kelly Mantle Show!
Whoosh. Whoosh. Did you like that? Of course you did. If you want to hear the rest of the premiere episode of The Kelly Mantle Show, head to the link in the description and don't forget to follow the show wherever you get your podcasts. You don't want to miss a single gloriously insane episode. Also, make sure you do all like the likes, the comment, the subscribe.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Introducing: The Kelly Mantle Show!
You know, Kelly, she's a young ingenue. She's about 20 years old. She's trying to make it in the industry. We got to help Kelly, okay? And if you don't, comment and like and subscribe to Kelly. You hate queer people. So... Maybe we can get Kelly to read some of the comments in the podcast. I mean, I'm not sure she can read, but maybe somebody can feed her the lines. Oh, wait, I'm an EP.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Introducing: The Kelly Mantle Show!
I'm going to force Kelly to read the reviews on the podcast. Okay, bye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Introducing: The Kelly Mantle Show!
She really has just been everywhere, done everything, knows everybody. And she is like completely humble and loves to make fun of herself and learn about the world. But like I said, she is gorgeous and stupid as well. So please enjoy that. We got approached about being EPs for her pod and it was an obvious yes because we love her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Introducing: The Kelly Mantle Show!
And to celebrate, we thought we'd share the premiere episode of The Kelly Mantle Show featuring the highly functioning Tammy Brown. Please enjoy.