Ty Tashiro

Drive the singles crazy.

So I used to teach a course for undergraduates on the psychology of romantic relationships. And I loved... I love that class. I love my students. And one of the things we would do is I'd say, take out a piece of paper. I guess they still had paper at this time. And I said, write down all the things you want in your ideal partner.

So I used to teach a course for undergraduates on the psychology of romantic relationships. And I loved... I love that class. I love my students. And one of the things we would do is I'd say, take out a piece of paper. I guess they still had paper at this time. And I said, write down all the things you want in your ideal partner.

So I used to teach a course for undergraduates on the psychology of romantic relationships. And I loved... I love that class. I love my students. And one of the things we would do is I'd say, take out a piece of paper. I guess they still had paper at this time. And I said, write down all the things you want in your ideal partner.

Pretend I'm like your fairy godfather and I can grant these wishes to you. And so they would They'd always ask for more time. They'd write down about 20 to 25 things under paper that they wanted in their ideal partner. And I think that's great. You know, you should dream big. And then say, does anybody want to volunteer in their list so I can read it in front of the class? And great.

Pretend I'm like your fairy godfather and I can grant these wishes to you. And so they would They'd always ask for more time. They'd write down about 20 to 25 things under paper that they wanted in their ideal partner. And I think that's great. You know, you should dream big. And then say, does anybody want to volunteer in their list so I can read it in front of the class? And great.

Pretend I'm like your fairy godfather and I can grant these wishes to you. And so they would They'd always ask for more time. They'd write down about 20 to 25 things under paper that they wanted in their ideal partner. And I think that's great. You know, you should dream big. And then say, does anybody want to volunteer in their list so I can read it in front of the class? And great.

You know, a lot of students would volunteer in the list. And so I'd go through and I'd read in the order that they had put them the traits. So there was 200 students in this class. I'd have everyone raise their hands. And I'd say, okay, this person wants someone who's tall. So just by thought experiment, let's say everyone's a guy in here, right?

You know, a lot of students would volunteer in the list. And so I'd go through and I'd read in the order that they had put them the traits. So there was 200 students in this class. I'd have everyone raise their hands. And I'd say, okay, this person wants someone who's tall. So just by thought experiment, let's say everyone's a guy in here, right?

You know, a lot of students would volunteer in the list. And so I'd go through and I'd read in the order that they had put them the traits. So there was 200 students in this class. I'd have everyone raise their hands. And I'd say, okay, this person wants someone who's tall. So just by thought experiment, let's say everyone's a guy in here, right?

So I said, if you're a guy who's under six feet, put your hand down. Now, you'll lose, out of 100 people, you'll lose 80 people with that because only 20% of men in the U.S. are six foot or taller. And then she might say something like, I want someone who's wealthy. And I say, so what does that mean to you? Maybe she says, I want someone who makes at least $150,000 a year.

So I said, if you're a guy who's under six feet, put your hand down. Now, you'll lose, out of 100 people, you'll lose 80 people with that because only 20% of men in the U.S. are six foot or taller. And then she might say something like, I want someone who's wealthy. And I say, so what does that mean to you? Maybe she says, I want someone who makes at least $150,000 a year.

So I said, if you're a guy who's under six feet, put your hand down. Now, you'll lose, out of 100 people, you'll lose 80 people with that because only 20% of men in the U.S. are six foot or taller. And then she might say something like, I want someone who's wealthy. And I say, so what does that mean to you? Maybe she says, I want someone who makes at least $150,000 a year.

To her, that's what that means. Well, of the remaining 20 guys, you're going to be down to about five now, right? Whatever trait is your third wish, you will end up, I guarantee you, I've done this now dozens, if not hundreds of times. Whatever your third wish is will take you down to one person out of 100 or will take you to a fraction of a person, which is actually much more likely.

To her, that's what that means. Well, of the remaining 20 guys, you're going to be down to about five now, right? Whatever trait is your third wish, you will end up, I guarantee you, I've done this now dozens, if not hundreds of times. Whatever your third wish is will take you down to one person out of 100 or will take you to a fraction of a person, which is actually much more likely.

To her, that's what that means. Well, of the remaining 20 guys, you're going to be down to about five now, right? Whatever trait is your third wish, you will end up, I guarantee you, I've done this now dozens, if not hundreds of times. Whatever your third wish is will take you down to one person out of 100 or will take you to a fraction of a person, which is actually much more likely.

So, you know, when we say what's the things to choose in a partner, I think the first place we want to start with is we need to really prioritize and be laser focused on on the things that are most important to us before we generate our list of 20 to 25 things.

So, you know, when we say what's the things to choose in a partner, I think the first place we want to start with is we need to really prioritize and be laser focused on on the things that are most important to us before we generate our list of 20 to 25 things.

So, you know, when we say what's the things to choose in a partner, I think the first place we want to start with is we need to really prioritize and be laser focused on on the things that are most important to us before we generate our list of 20 to 25 things.

Fewer, you know, the way I like to phrase that is I say, make the list of your dreams. So you could make your 20 trait list, let's say, Um, but what nobody does, or I haven't met anybody yet. What nobody does is rank order those traits then. So what's number one, what's number two, what's number three, so on and so forth. And then let's, the top three traits that you want to partner.