Tyler Perry
speaker
187 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Tyler Perry’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Yeah. Or keep looking to the sky. Keep looking up all around you. All right. Well, look, we can keep it light and fresh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to go where you want to go.
Let me tell you why I think it's important. The far reaching effects. I don't know about what happened with you, but for me, having my abuser be a female, I just found out at 54 was rape. To be able to associate that with rape was weird because it was a female. Right. And also the man at church.
So the far reaching effects of the trauma of sexual abuse and the sexual confusion that children walk through and tried to figure that out that I had to walk through was really, really profound. I worked so hard at trying to understand it. That was the most difficult part of my life, just trying to understand what had happened.
Why it happened to me and why I couldn't shake what they did. And as children, we'd have this ability to hold on to the pain of what it was and make it about our fault. Well, what was it in me that made that man do that or that woman do that? And growing up and coming into adulthood and trying to excise that, to get it out, to understand it was really, really challenging.
That's that.
It's powerful, but it's unfair. Let me tell you why. That's what people say. I didn't really fully understand it until I had a child. And I could see my son at the age of the traumas that I was experiencing going, look how innocent and beautiful and pure. Yeah, yeah. And this innocent and beautiful, pure child does not have the ability to make those kinds of decisions.
So for me, it wasn't feeling the sense of, oh, what's happening? What's happening? Is this wrong? That's wrong. It was somebody sees me and appreciates me and is telling me I'm special. Someone was kind and their agenda was about grooming rather than it being about kindness. And I tell anyone, any man, any woman who's been sexually abused as a child, if you don't have a child,
If you don't have relatives, if you see a kid on the playground, watch not creepily, but watch the innocence of that child and then try and judge yourself through the innocence of that child. That's unfair. It is.
That's the man judging the child. Because the man or the teenager or the young man would clearly be like, what are you doing? This is crazy. Why are you here? But if you take away the innocence and the lens of the way the child saw it, then you're robbing yourself of it. Here is the most freeing part of it for me that I found at 54. in therapy for the first time in my life.
There's something called an arousal template that I had no idea about that from the age of three to seven, I could be wrong on the ages, but the therapist will tell you this three to seven, your arousal template is set as a kid, even though you're not sexual.
So if someone comes along and interject something into your arousal template, be it culturally, be it rape and molestation, violence, violence, All of those things being put into your young child brain becomes a part of your arousal template, especially for men. And for me, being a little boy, the thing that gave me the most shame was when the molester would say, you liked it.
Look, you're a wreck. That's the struggle. How can I be a heterosexual boy, know I like girls and have the same sex thought and desire? That was hard to understand. But understanding that the arousal template in your brain sets that. And has been hijacked. And also, this is the thing that blew my mind. Once it's set, it can't be taken away.
And for me, wrapping my mind and soul around all of that was very freeing. Yeah.
A lot of people say, oh, my God, you're so profound. Look how hard you work. Look how much you've done. A lot of the success that I've experienced in life was because I wasn't dealing. I was just working. I would work my way through it. And relationships wouldn't really work out because I would just work and work and work and work.
And no matter how much work that I did, when the work would stop, I'd be faced with these things happen to you. What do you feel about it? Who are you? What are you? And I just got to a place in my life where it's like, I'm not going to live this way anymore. And at 55, I'm the freest and clearest version of myself that I've ever been.
Yeah, same for you. What I didn't know, because recently I've been doing all these tests. When I went to this session, they were like, OK, let's test for you for autism, because there are certain things that you are doing that are on the spectrum. So we went through all of these tests.
And what we found is that a child like me having to live in that kind of chaos and trauma constantly, I became hyper vigilant in everything. I trained my brain to see, to watch, to protect myself in every way, which is where I work today.
So for you to say that you were in a moment of chaos is where you thrived, it's what happened to the little boy and what he needed to be okay or to feel like he was loved. And I've run into people like that. And it's one of the saddest things that I've seen because the more I try and say, hey, this is what peace feels like. There's all of this resistance to it because it's scary.
Which is very important to understand because you can make yourself insane trying to figure out what has happened. Why is affecting me in this way? I've had very few sexual partners at 55 and people go, oh, my God, you're this huge guy, really successful. You're all over the world. No. Not me.
I do believe that all things work together for your good, even though if they're awful and horrible, I have to believe that. Which put me in a wonderful position in running the studio, because when you have people coming to you with their dreams in their hands and they need a job or want to be on a show, if I had been another person, then maybe I would have been doing things that were horrible.
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