Uncle Lazer

Assuming those are supervised visits.

Y'all can tell I was probably addicted to cocaine at some point in my life.

And I quit.

But summer's coming.

So we'll see.

You know, we'll fucking see.

It sucks quitting shit you're great at.

Listen, I'm great at cocaine.

I can turn a Sunday fun day into a no-call show no Monday in a motherfucking instant, you hear me?

But I had to quit, I started smoking pot, seeing this little hippie bitch here, and she, all right, shut up, listen.

She smokes this shit called dabs.

Y'all ever done dabs?

Okay, well, listen, for those of y'all that don't know what dabs are, it's the highest rated THC.

Basically, when you smoke dabs, it gives you down syndrome for the rest of the week, okay?

You got shit to do that day?

Not gonna fucking get to it, all right?

And then she wants to get all sexual with me.

She's like, hit me with that horse cock, daddy.

And I'm like, first off, who talks like that, you know?

Second of all, if you're going to be lucky to get my little pony, you know, because I got cerebral palsy at this point.