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Unknown Female 3

Appearances

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1011.599

Yeah, a lion or a cat.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1018.424

Okay.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1021.546

Yes, a domesticated cat.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1024.249

You were wrong there. A domesticated cat sleeps for 15 hours. A lion sleeps for 19 hours.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1032.072

You're the king of the fucking jungle and you ain't doing shit.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1038.454

But that makes sense that they could. They're like one of the only things in the jungle that could sleep that long because they don't have predators.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

104.621

Ooh, yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1050.158

I don't know. I thought they were the king of the jungle.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1054.718

Oh, and okay, one last one. This is very interesting. Okay, an elephant or a shark?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1072.772

0.1, 0.1.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1073.492

Well done. You're always smarter than I think you're going to be. And it always makes me proud. Prideful. Prideful? Proud.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1084.33

And it always makes me proud.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1088.436

Yeah, no, no, no. It's real.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1101.35

How are you like that? How are you? So how are you so photogenic?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1113.6

I love those. They're called.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1117.904

It's kind of like a backhanded one.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1140.528

How did I miss all of this?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1150.999

Yeah, yeah. Respect.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1219.483

Spidey sense.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1220.864

Yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1230.431

Like she needs this customer?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

124.386

Or wash it off.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1243.341

What kind of questions are you asking?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1266.826

Per person or for both of you together?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1276.712

I'm already so disappointed.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1284.456

I just got really upset with you. Because I know... I know a small detail of the punchline of this story, but I don't have answers to the punchline, which I'm going to get now, but I'm getting a little... Listen, I do want to say this.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1325.223

Yeah, yeah. So I did not know this. So this first thing, you did pay for this first thing.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1331.407

Okay. So you signed up for a private.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1349.539

So she takes my what information, my credit card. So, oh, my God, Elizabeth, what the fuck? Yeah. I hope you're watching that credit card account like a fucking hawk.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1379.466

It is so rare.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1393.955

Oh, there's a website?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

140.46

Protection?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

141.882

Gotcha.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1426.984

What's the receipt? It makes me feel worse for some reason. Oh, yeah. And here's your receipt. Thank you. Oh.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1461.119

Yeah. That's what we've just been kind of feeling out. Yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

147.023

Yeah. No, I understand what you're talking about. I don't know if I understand exactly what the point that you're trying to make.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1471.015

That's where those should be.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1485.764

That totally tracks with what I would imagine a Tai Chi place would be.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1491.147

Yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1525.44

What's your address? What's your social security number? Stuff like that.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1534.907

She asked for the address.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1538.357

What? Do you hear yourself?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1543.396

I would be like, why the fuck do you need my address?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

156.628

But they're all his wife.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1563.442

What's a blend place?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1567.783

A shared community spot?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1575.273

So is she the landlord and this is all Tai Chi or are there a bunch of people doing stuff out of this space, different things?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1634.539

I thought the core was kind of, I thought of it as bigger than that.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1691.751

Mats on top of squishy?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1695.712

Uh-huh.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1700.753

You and our son?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1706.075

I see what you mean. Yeah, sure.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1716.36

Which is, where's that?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

173.658

Well, this is the thing. I still now I think I have a clear idea of where you're getting at. My confusion was, are you saying you're worried about a risk of STDs? Because these are all your wives. No, it's just like shmegma. Okay, for one, I don't even think you actually even really understand what shmegma is now. I don't. But maybe you do. I don't. Let's, come on. Let's keep going here.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1733.398

Got it. Okay.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1749.343

But your mom instinct was like, that's too close for comfort.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1850.2

But they're saying if you're feeling that after you do a Tai Chi workout... They're not just saying in life in general.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1869.952

Now, am I right to assume that practitioners is one practitioner or we don't know?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1920.194

Well, this is the punchline that I'm referring to. This is all I know of the story is you came home and you told me about the bad experience.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1927.156

And then you're like, but we signed up for a class. And so I've been waiting. Why did you sign up for the class?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

1939.147

But it seems like you had the perfect out when you said the, let me check in with him and figure it out. Was it just like, was she super pressure? No.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2019.761

I think I think the only reason you go is if it was for your own curiosity to see like the whole class and get a vibe. But I wouldn't take our son.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2038.435

I I do understand. I don't want you to feel like I'm coming down on you for being weak. Listen, I understand the peer pressure. I understand the sales pitch. We've all been in that situation. I think how you and I are different, though, when that starts really getting thrust upon me, I'm like – You go the opposite direction. I go the opposite way.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2059.647

I start really doubting it, and I'm like, oh, I really got to – I'm so sorry. I got to think about this.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2092.065

I've never, no.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2097.53

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2157.423

Right, right, right.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2176.516

You need to join this gym. I'll get you in shape, right? Like I'll get you where you want to be.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2208.24

What was the cult aspect of all of this, though, besides the signage?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2222.368

You felt like you were getting roped into something more than you wanted to.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2229.333

Now, so did you pay for the $50 class right then and there?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

223.811

I do have one thing that I wanted to tell you that I hadn't told you yet. Because as we mentioned last week, I went to the zoo to cover the Betty White stamp thing.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2234.115

And how did you pay for it?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2237.239

But how? I... Did she run it on, like, a square machine or something?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2242.482

Or was she like, oh, great, I have it on file, I'll charge it?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2246.265

She ran it. Okay, that's at least kind of good.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2283.845

No, I think more likely it's more what you're saying about the gym or even when we have signed our kids up for karate. Sometimes those places are like, all right, well, here are your options. And it's like, Jesus, I got to sign up for that. You know what I mean? Like there is always this like.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2298.75

You know, which I guess in some regards, you got to respect people are trying to make a living and whatnot. But when it gets overly salesy and like complicated to wrap your head around and feels a little predatory. Yeah, it's uncomfortable.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

232.591

While I was leaving that event, I'm walking out with, this was like a big guy, head honcho-y type guy. I think maybe in their marketing department or something. And he looked like a lion. I shit you not, this man.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2326.948

Yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2330.771

I don't think you go back.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2334.394

And I guess you just eat it.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2337.397

Damn.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2347.732

It is kind of amazing sometimes that you haven't really made some big blunders like this.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2468.558

But you have that weird feeling. I know what you mean. You have the weird feeling and then you also probably like, I don't want to offend them too if I don't sign up for a class. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2476.583

I think, listen, I think in many ways you did a lot right. I obviously am a little bummed about- That's very generous of you. About the money part. But I think- getting back to just role modeling for the kids.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

248.761

Beard, big long hair, looked like a lion.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2490.309

I do think it's so important to, if you do feel weird, say something and try to also do it in a way almost with confidence. So then like that your kid doesn't feel weird about it. Cause I think it is good for them to see us putting up boundaries when we're like, Oh no, that's not right. Or like taking care of stuff.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2552.055

Well, this is a predator that's grooming and that has done this before. Like he has his whole roadmap sort of.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

256.066

This guy was with the zoo and he even said, I got to head back to my house. Or something like which I was like, that's a great that's a great zoo joke. Yeah. Anyways, I'm walking with him and we're getting close to the flamingos. And, you know, for whatever reason, I have a soft spot for flamingos. I think my aunt Barb really loves flamingos.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2578.743

Well, I also think it must be just in general, being a woman in the world, you're at a much bigger deficit with that stuff, too, feeling probably. Yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2588.655

Yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

26.324

Yes. We got a new nobody. What? This is from Jen on Apple Podcasts.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2609.063

Of us both doing it, the more like normalized it is for them later to be like, oh, yeah, no, I'm not cool with that.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2615.686

And almost but in a way that's like diffused of the weirdness that we're feeling.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2622.189

It's almost just like with a confidence that's like I can say one thing. that I've really taken from my mom growing up, if something was wrong, say in any sort of place, right? Like the food not coming or, you know, just any sort of like road bumps you would encounter out in the world, she would quickly jump up to fix it and go talk to someone to like, do you know what I mean?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2645.541

Like had no qualms about that, which I think was good for me to sort of see.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2666.251

And that's, yeah, that's great.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2679.426

A peaceful Tai Chi class.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2682.329

So speaking of energy, not energy. So speaking of exercise cults.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2689.835

Otis and I, we went the other day. I've been wanting to check out this restaurant called Howlin' Rays.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2696.802

Which is this, I don't know how long it's been around, probably a few years. Maybe not that long. But it's like Nashville hot chicken place that's in L.A.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2706.691

All the rage. So I'm really excited to check it out. We're having a little boys night and we go to the place and it's jumping and there's a big line that you got to wait in to get into it. So you're in a line on a sidewalk. Okay.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2723.954

It's its own standing. I think there's a few locations in L.A., but the one that we went to, it's its own little building on like a regular busy street that has other shops and stores on it. So we're standing in this line and there's probably the line outside is probably maybe like 30 people on the sidewalk.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2744.82

And we're chatting to the people behind us.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2749.344

Because one of them, this woman's like, have you guys ever been here? And she's with these two guys. I'm like, no, I haven't. And she's like, they haven't either. But she had. And so we're all talking like, what are you going to get? How hot are you going to get it? And just like that kind of a conversation. And then all of a sudden... This wave of people running comes through.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

276.944

So maybe that's the connection.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2772.096

But they all go to the outside of us, right?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2776.197

There's like, instead of grass between the road and the sidewalk, there's like gravel. Most of them are running on the gravel or even, you know, into the street. They're on the street running, right? Except for one guy.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2791.681

Who charges through this entire line.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2796.504

So aggressively.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2798.905

Yeah, yeah. That we're like, what the fuck? And the girl was like, what was that? And we're all just kind of like, what was that?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2810.552

Well, okay. I can't wait because I definitely figured out what it was. But at first I'm like, that's... That was fucking weird. And we're kind of joking about it and whatnot.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2828.142

It was a big. This had to have been a big, big choice.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2833.405

So we finished dinner. And then.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2839.528

Literally the best fried chicken I've ever had. It was un-fucking-believable how good it was.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2849.377

Someone in the line said something like that, but I haven't confirmed that. Wow, wow, wow. But it was really fucking good.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2854.222

But so anyways, afterwards, we're walking back to our car and we go a different way. And we're walking and like a few doors down, there's a CrossFit place.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2873.209

Yeah. Joking. This is my thesis.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2877.193

I think that the location we went to is a newer location of this Howland Rays.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2883.786

But I don't know if it's like a year old, two years old or whatever. But what I think is that this is like a CrossFit guy that's been going here for a long time.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2895.23

And now this new restaurant's there.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

291.488

Yeah, and I said that like I would hang out with Nancy.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2926.326

Exactly.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2927.947

And I think he runs through that crowd every fucking opportunity.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2954.833

Listen.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

296.829

Yes, yes. So I'm intrigued when this man says, you guys want to hear a great flamingo story. Yes.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2970.778

Yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2972.039

He's got roid rage and his testes are shrinking.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

2985.931

I think they're on like a circuit though at CrossFit, right? I don't think, I think it's like they're doing stuff, they're doing stuff and then they go run around the block, come back, do shit, do shit and run around the block. Like he literally might be charging through the line of people multiple times a day, multiple times a week.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3001.361

So much rage.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3009.367

Yeah.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3012.95

Yeah. I love our UPS store.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3026.342

You want a race to get in front of her.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3034.469

She just needs to be like, hey, do you want to head in front of me?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

307.711

So he said that flamingos only mate when they feel safe. Okay.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3122.161

And no one's joining you on this?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3125.822

God, this is what you're describing as like porn for me because this gives me permission to like really say something out loud. But you know everyone's on your side if you say something.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3144.949

Sire. He did some sire.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

315.698

Which that seems to make all sorts of sense. When they feel most safe is... is when there's strength in numbers, when there's like a lot of flamingos, right? So if you're a zoo and you're like, how many flamingos should we get? There's like a number that you gotta- It's a magic number.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3199.049

And isn't it on her to like get off the call or explain to who she's taught? She should have never taken the call. Right. Right.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3207.673

Which side are you on? Okay, okay.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3243.245

The speaker is, you know, I blow my gasket with that.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3299.567

It's unreal. And you know what it makes me think is the phone call is egregious no matter what.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3306.756

If she was just doing all the packages, goddamn, that would be fucking annoying. And you might be stewing about it. But then when she turned around, if she said, I'm so sorry that took so long, you would be like, oh, you're fine.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

335.224

Exactly. Something like that. Otherwise, they're all gonna just die out.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3366.565

Yeah. I hate when you see people at the UPS store that come in with it, like not packed. And then like they find out they need to pack it or they need to pay the UPS people to pack it. But they're like confused and they don't know what to do. But it'll be that much. Well, I should just pack myself. And it's like, well, then just go fucking pack it yourself. And then they make it.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3384.98

I've seen that scenario so many times. I know. Don't you know how UPS store or the post office works?

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

339.646

Well, I mean, they're just not gonna, you're not gonna have a continuation of them.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3393.586

That's a whole different beast.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3395.507

Just have your QR code ready and yeah, of course, of course.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

34.566

After listening to Elizabeth on Garbage World, where I found her to be funny and delightful, I made my way to this podcast. I'm smitten. The charming duo make me laugh and give me strength as I commute to and from a job I don't like. Now I'm enjoying going through the archives. I wish I would have found them sooner. Thanks, guys.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3407.554

It always feels nice to get a little rage off the shoulders.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3416.618

Damn.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3441.116

Oh, I didn't see that.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

346.721

Yeah, they're birds.

Nobody's Listening, Right?

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3471.083

That's interesting because when I used to do totally beverages and sometimes hot sauce, if we would ever put Trader Joe's up to like the equivalent thing, they always fell flat on their face.

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3481.465

But maybe if they're getting some cool niche stuff.

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I mean, their snack game's been real great for a while. So it doesn't surprise me that like snacky type beverages could be good.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3491.948

Okay, that's fun. Now, did you have something in mind for me? You almost said it like you knew what I was going to say.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3503.061

I don't really like Tate's cookies.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3506.604

But I saw at Target there's a new soft baked Tate's, which in my heart I knew like that's wrong. But one of the reasons I don't like Tate's is because I'm not a crispy chocolate chip cookie guy. But I was like, I got to get these just to try them.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3520.696

The gall to do that.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3525.12

Know your lane.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3526.822

Be confident.

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3537.456

A box of each or a bag of each to try just because I wanted to know. And they fucking suck.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3555.431

Embarrassing. So embarrassing.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3583.191

They're not even— It was a fluke. They're not even there. Like, and, you know, they sold it to one of the big companies.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3589.677

Oh, yeah. Because there was outrage when you noticed the size of the regular Tate's got way smaller. I didn't notice that. That was infraction one, where people were in a fucking uproar. I didn't know that.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3601.166

This cookie shrank.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3612.795

Not thicker, just...

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

3616.212

Yeah. But for them to now do this.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

363.516

Is that true?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

365.097

They're only ever. I know what the pose you're talking about.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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But I don't think they're always like that.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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I don't know if you're fucking with me or if you're being very earnest.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

384.125

Okay.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

385.867

That's what I thought. Okay. That makes more sense. Anyways, the story goes that there was like a hurricane coming to somewhere in Florida, right?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

395.074

And so this zoo is making preparations for all the different animals and whatnot, figuring out where they're going to put all the animals, right?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

404.302

Sure. Sure.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

409.267

Yes, yes, yes, yes. So they came up with an idea. Flamingos, we're going to put them in that restroom over there. So like a public restroom, right? So you imagine it's like a bigger restroom. They put sand down in there and a bunch of stuff like they got it ready for some big hurricane that's coming.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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So they put them in there, zoo closes, whatever. I don't know all the details, but they, you know, the flamingos are in there for a little bit of time.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Right. Well, they come back and to their surprise, there's a bunch of nests getting ready for whatever. So they deduce like, oh, the flamingos were fucking while we were gone. Right. Because they made these nests or something getting ready. Right.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

461.011

Okay. I mean, of course. But I don't think you could do that. And if you could, wow.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

505.566

That doesn't make sense.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

508.578

Do you want to describe what it is?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

513.242

It's like a picture of a flamingo, like, standing on top of a female. Okay, this makes more sense.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

524.33

Whoa, what? Wait, where's its head? Wait, what?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Like, its head's all the way down on the ground.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

53.872

Nothing like a new listener.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

555.021

Is the male flamingo's legs even on the ground? He just seems like he's on top.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Balancing.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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And her head down, too. I'm guessing you can't see, but her head's probably touching the ground, too, like a tripod. Do you see what I'm saying?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Wow. Okay. Okay. Anyways. Okay.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Okay. So. This happens, and they're like, holy shit. They were fucking while we were gone. Why were they fucking, they're asking themselves.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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I don't know the answer. I wish I did. And-

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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I don't even know if that's exactly it either. The story was, though, they knew they had been mating. Okay. There was clear evidence, and it had something to do with nests in the bathroom. Okay. Yeah.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Okay, so any guesses as to why the fucking went up when they're in this bathroom as opposed to when they're normal?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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That's what I thought.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Well, that is not the hypothesis, my friend.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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It was the mirrors. They thought there were way more flamingos in there.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

676.504

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

685.087

Isn't that awesome?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

687.347

I know, I know. Anyways, that's all I got.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

711.393

Throw up a bunch of mirrors.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

714.515

That's really fascinating.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

731.525

You're talking out of your mouth.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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What are you talking about? Are women's bathrooms mirrorless or something? Every man's bathroom is, I would say, 90% of the time adequately equipped with mirrors. And if I think about a zoo bathroom, like a big public restroom, it's a huge long thing of mirrors. Like a huge wall above the sink.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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But not as much fun as that show. So go check out all their episodes.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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I didn't have to go. But, you know, can you envision when you go into a public restroom at like a zoo, the above the sinks, the whole thing's mirrors. Is that not how it is for women?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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You know, I hate to dwell on this, but I'm going to have to be really firm on this. I think you're really talking out of your ass here.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Okay, so at like a restaurant or a bar or something maybe?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Oh, that's more of a forest service type restroom. And to that, usually there is a mirror, but not maybe not as many mirrors.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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None.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

82.727

Yeah.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

824.287

Well, you think in Lake or Beach, you think there's going to be people with exposed toes and whatnot.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

830.57

Maybe we don't want those breaking.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

838.514

Who would have thunk it or known it?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

847.136

Yes. Wait. Yes. Are you messing with me?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

85.129

Cody and the gal.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

851.917

I have something perfect.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

855.74

This is almost going to feel like we produced this. I swear we didn't.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

90.593

Yeah.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

909.289

Jesus.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

913.393

It's like a Moby Dick of pink armadillos.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

918.379

Damn, that's sort of sad. Okay. It's about how long animals. Oh, those are kind of cool looking.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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Okay.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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This is like too much like animal sex stuff. It does look like a penis. Yes, it does. Okay. All right.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

94.417

Cody probably free balls. He seems like a free baller.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

941.638

Okay. This is just almost like a quick quiz for you. I'm making up the quiz as we go. But I was looking at this video this morning about how long different animals sleep every day.

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

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What do you think sleeps longer, a duck or a fish?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

960.753

And how many hours a night?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

964.375

I don't know. In the 24-hour cycle, how many hours?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

969.979

I don't know that. How many hours does a duck sleep in a day?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

977.04

Eleven. And a fish is seven. So you're right there. What do you think sleeps more, a cow or a dog?

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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail

985.006

You would be correct there. Cows only sleep four hours, where a dog's more like 13 hours. Wow. Lazy. Okay. How about one more? An owl versus a bat? Bat. Good. Bats, 20 hours. Owl is about 12.5. And the last one is a lion or a cat.

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He is unshod in many ways.