Vanessa Marin

Have you heard of the love languages model?

It's kind of that idea that we all like to give and receive love in different ways.

It's very similar to that.

We all like to be initiated with in different ways.

So if you don't know your partner's style, you're likely initiating in a way that doesn't really work for them, and you're more likely to get that leave me alone kind of reaction.

So it's understanding, you know, finding out what style your partner is and what's going to work for them.

So I'll give you a couple of examples.

One of the types is called take care of me.

And a lot of women tend to be of this type where we want to feel like there's emotional connection first.

Like you care about me as a human.

You're interested in me.

You want to spend a little quality time with me.

We're easing into it rather than just, you know, zero to 100.

So for somebody who's of that type, a really successful way to initiate might be something like, hey, babe, I'm going to handle bedtime with the kids tonight.

Why don't you go take a bath, relax, and then you and I can meet in the bedroom in about half an hour.

Something like that would feel so good for so many women.

Versus I'll give you a totally different type is called the play with me type where you like initiation to be more like playful and silly.

Xander and I do this type a lot like we'll do we'll be watching a football game and we'll make a bet on who's going to win this game.

Okay whoever wins this bet they get to have decide like what kind of sex they want to have tonight.

You know, we're being silly about it or we're like, we'll have a secret emoji that we send to each other.