Vanessa Marin

I feel like I'm already behind in a sense.

So it's very easy for me to give this knee jerk like, oh, no, I'm not turned on right now.

No, I don't want to.

But I really want people to get used to the idea that we don't have to be turned on in order to initiate or to say yes to sex.

But what we've started doing is like creating more space between that so that I don't get that pop quiz feeling.

So oftentimes we'll talk about it in the morning.

We'll say, hey, I would like to be intimate with you.

today, what does our schedule look like?

What would be the best time for that to happen?

If one person has way more on their plate than the other, like, hey, can I take this off your plate?

Maybe we can collaborate on this.

Maybe we can push that off till tomorrow.

So we're kind of like working together as a team to figure out when's the best time and the best way for us to be intimate.

So it makes it feel like it's a collaboration.

It's not one person like putting themselves out there being really vulnerable.

It's both of us saying, hey, this is important to us.

We want to make sure there's time for us in this crazy busy day.

So that has felt so nice for us lately.

I think it's a great tip for a lot of couples to try out.

That's the age-old question, right?