Vanessa Marin

But you have to make sure there's some sort of clitoral stimulation happening.

So I tell men, imagine you have to think of the clitoris as the penis.

And imagine like if you're having sex, but you're getting no stimulation of your penis, you're not going to enjoy it, right?

So we need to treat the clitoris in the exact same way because it's the same tissues.

It's the same organ, the same purpose there.

We need to make sure the clitoris is always invited to the party.

Where did we start?

We were talking about initiation.

Okay.

So everybody knows, you've heard the advice, like we should be talking about sex.

You know, when you're up late at night and you're incognito on your phone Googling, like, why aren't we having sex anymore?

It's always at the end of every article, like talk to your partner about it, right?

But the problem is nobody ever tells you how to have those conversations.

And, you know, even when Xander and I were going through a tough period in our own relationship, even though I was in this field, I couldn't find any resources about how do we talk about our sex life?

How do we talk about what's happening between the two of us?

So actually, the very first conversation that Xander and I ever had about our sex life was in bed late at night.

I had been hoping that he was going to initiate.

And he just, you know, rolled over to go to bed.

And I said, why don't you want to have sex with me anymore?

Just briefly.