Vanessa Van Edwards

Or there's things you walk on eggshells because you just don't know how that's going to go. And so the other test you have as you're doing this back and forth, you're getting to know them, is do I feel safe to share my real answer? Do I feel safe to answer something that's not on script? That's like not what everyone else would answer. Do I feel safe to not be interesting? Right?

Or there's things you walk on eggshells because you just don't know how that's going to go. And so the other test you have as you're doing this back and forth, you're getting to know them, is do I feel safe to share my real answer? Do I feel safe to answer something that's not on script? That's like not what everyone else would answer. Do I feel safe to not be interesting? Right?

Like if we have this pressure, we're ensuring it's a performance. If you're like, I'm just going to answer and like this may or may not like click with you, then that's the ultimate belonging, I think.

Like if we have this pressure, we're ensuring it's a performance. If you're like, I'm just going to answer and like this may or may not like click with you, then that's the ultimate belonging, I think.

Oh, I got you.

Oh, I got you.

This is called the art of a graceful exit. And it is a skill, you have to learn it because there is gonna be times where you're just not with your person and that's okay. Okay, so here's what you do, it's three steps. Okay, step number one is you begin to non-verbally signal that you want out, okay? So we kind of subconsciously pick up on these cues.

This is called the art of a graceful exit. And it is a skill, you have to learn it because there is gonna be times where you're just not with your person and that's okay. Okay, so here's what you do, it's three steps. Okay, step number one is you begin to non-verbally signal that you want out, okay? So we kind of subconsciously pick up on these cues.

So first is you wanna point your toes towards the door. When we're aligned with someone, we typically angle our toes towards the person. When we're not into someone, we typically angle our body and our toes outwards. Funny anecdote here is we also tend to angle our toes towards the person we have a crush on or the most interesting person in the room.

So first is you wanna point your toes towards the door. When we're aligned with someone, we typically angle our toes towards the person. When we're not into someone, we typically angle our body and our toes outwards. Funny anecdote here is we also tend to angle our toes towards the person we have a crush on or the most interesting person in the room.

So whenever I'm like at office parties, I can almost always decide the office crushes.

So whenever I'm like at office parties, I can almost always decide the office crushes.

fascinating because people will subconsciously even if they're in conversation they'll be pointing towards the person they like the most so when you move your toes towards the door it's just it subtly indicates that your body is angled outwards and then i also want you to make less eye contact right so that could be an overhead gaze i would never normally do this in a good conversation but you want to subtly signal to someone i need to break right i need to break off so then you're overhead gazing you're going to glance at the door or the bathroom and

fascinating because people will subconsciously even if they're in conversation they'll be pointing towards the person they like the most so when you move your toes towards the door it's just it subtly indicates that your body is angled outwards and then i also want you to make less eye contact right so that could be an overhead gaze i would never normally do this in a good conversation but you want to subtly signal to someone i need to break right i need to break off so then you're overhead gazing you're going to glance at the door or the bathroom and

That is also another very small signal. Oh, I'm disengaged. Okay, so that's one is non-verbally signal. Second is you're going to use verbal cues. The thing that I want you to do is ask for future plans. When someone is in a conversation, they're very present. When I would like to go, I'll be like, what's your plan tomorrow? Yes. Got any big plans for the weekend?

That is also another very small signal. Oh, I'm disengaged. Okay, so that's one is non-verbally signal. Second is you're going to use verbal cues. The thing that I want you to do is ask for future plans. When someone is in a conversation, they're very present. When I would like to go, I'll be like, what's your plan tomorrow? Yes. Got any big plans for the weekend?

Because wait, this is step number three. They're going to then answer, you know, what is their plan tomorrow? What does it mean for the weekend? They'll be like, well... Have so much fun tomorrow or this weekend. It was so great talking to you and I'll see you later. Three steps. The final step is just wish them well on those future plans. Thank them for the conversation.

Because wait, this is step number three. They're going to then answer, you know, what is their plan tomorrow? What does it mean for the weekend? They'll be like, well... Have so much fun tomorrow or this weekend. It was so great talking to you and I'll see you later. Three steps. The final step is just wish them well on those future plans. Thank them for the conversation.

Give them a handshake or a high five and then say, I'll see you later.

Give them a handshake or a high five and then say, I'll see you later.