Vanessa Van Edwards

So in that first hour, two, three hours, we're blown away. Then typically they go one of two ways. The first way is narcissists, if they don't get what they want, even a little bit, they go into victim mode. So there's a misunderstanding about narcissists, which is that they're always confident.

So in that first hour, two, three hours, we're blown away. Then typically they go one of two ways. The first way is narcissists, if they don't get what they want, even a little bit, they go into victim mode. So there's a misunderstanding about narcissists, which is that they're always confident.

When a narcissist doesn't get what they want or doesn't get what they feel they deserve, and listen for that word with narcissists, I don't deserve this kind of treatment. I deserve something better. I'm worth more. Be very aware of those words. If they don't feel like they get what they deserve or they're not getting what they're worth, they become victims.

When a narcissist doesn't get what they want or doesn't get what they feel they deserve, and listen for that word with narcissists, I don't deserve this kind of treatment. I deserve something better. I'm worth more. Be very aware of those words. If they don't feel like they get what they deserve or they're not getting what they're worth, they become victims.

Listen for that victim language because narcissists will sometimes be very charismatic, but they're playing the victim card. And the victim card is really dangerous because then it's everyone else's fault. And then all of a sudden you're enabling it. You're like, well, I have to protect you. You're so charismatic.

Listen for that victim language because narcissists will sometimes be very charismatic, but they're playing the victim card. And the victim card is really dangerous because then it's everyone else's fault. And then all of a sudden you're enabling it. You're like, well, I have to protect you. You're so charismatic.

And that's how they are manipulative with people is they play the victim card and you want to protect them. So be very careful of that dynamic because I think that we often are like, well, she's not a narcissist. She's suffering.

And that's how they are manipulative with people is they play the victim card and you want to protect them. So be very careful of that dynamic because I think that we often are like, well, she's not a narcissist. She's suffering.

She needs my help. That is often actually a narcissist is they're playing the victim because they want your help and that makes them feel good. That's one pattern. The second pattern is that narcissists can be high conflict people. A high conflict person is they're very charismatic and they blow you away with their charisma, but they create all these little disagreements, fights.

She needs my help. That is often actually a narcissist is they're playing the victim because they want your help and that makes them feel good. That's one pattern. The second pattern is that narcissists can be high conflict people. A high conflict person is they're very charismatic and they blow you away with their charisma, but they create all these little disagreements, fights.

They create conflict around them and they step and they back up and they go, I don't know. I But they're constantly stirring or stoking conflict. Watch out for that. That's the other reason why those car trips, getting out of restaurants and coffee shops, is it's very easy to not have conflict in those very controlled settings.

They create conflict around them and they step and they back up and they go, I don't know. I But they're constantly stirring or stoking conflict. Watch out for that. That's the other reason why those car trips, getting out of restaurants and coffee shops, is it's very easy to not have conflict in those very controlled settings.

But if someone cuts you off on the road, or someone shortchanges you, or someone's late, you get to see, oh, wow, they play victim. Or they're creating conflict where there doesn't really need to be conflict. Then when they're brainstorming in the car, because there's something that happens when you're next to someone.

But if someone cuts you off on the road, or someone shortchanges you, or someone's late, you get to see, oh, wow, they play victim. Or they're creating conflict where there doesn't really need to be conflict. Then when they're brainstorming in the car, because there's something that happens when you're next to someone.

I think they verbalize differently. Like, typically women like to dyad, have conversation like this, face to face. Men sometimes like to have conversations side by side. It's why they like talking at a bar. It's because they're side by side. They like talking on a walk or a hike. They like talking in a car.

I think they verbalize differently. Like, typically women like to dyad, have conversation like this, face to face. Men sometimes like to have conversations side by side. It's why they like talking at a bar. It's because they're side by side. They like talking on a walk or a hike. They like talking in a car.

So sometimes if you're next to someone and they're just driving or you're driving and they're listening, they'll say things they wouldn't normally say in a face-to-face diet. And you might hear, oh, that's interesting, those patterns. I didn't know that you felt that way about that thing.

So sometimes if you're next to someone and they're just driving or you're driving and they're listening, they'll say things they wouldn't normally say in a face-to-face diet. And you might hear, oh, that's interesting, those patterns. I didn't know that you felt that way about that thing.

And so you want to make sure that you're looking for those secret patterns of manipulators, not just the obvious ones.

And so you want to make sure that you're looking for those secret patterns of manipulators, not just the obvious ones.