Vanessa Van Edwards

Or you accidentally have lied.

Or you accidentally have lied.

And they pick up on your lie.

And they pick up on your lie.

Right. So you're like, I love cats. Yeah. I love them. Now I'm allergic to cats, but if I'm like, I just love a cat and the other person's like, oh, and they got this signal in their body that was like, I don't, I don't know about this person, but actually it was because you were just trying to be likable. And I would much rather you say, you know what?

Right. So you're like, I love cats. Yeah. I love them. Now I'm allergic to cats, but if I'm like, I just love a cat and the other person's like, oh, and they got this signal in their body that was like, I don't, I don't know about this person, but actually it was because you were just trying to be likable. And I would much rather you say, you know what?

I love the idea of cats too, but I'm allergic. Right. And then everyone laughs and it's okay. Right. And if that's a deal breaker for them, wouldn't you rather know?

I love the idea of cats too, but I'm allergic. Right. And then everyone laughs and it's okay. Right. And if that's a deal breaker for them, wouldn't you rather know?

In dating especially, I would rather you create allergies for the person. So my approach to dating, I have a couple of single friends, is I'm like, don't be liked by everyone. Don't have a profile or go on a first date and try to be the most liked person. In fact, if you have things that really matter to you, share them up front.

In dating especially, I would rather you create allergies for the person. So my approach to dating, I have a couple of single friends, is I'm like, don't be liked by everyone. Don't have a profile or go on a first date and try to be the most liked person. In fact, if you have things that really matter to you, share them up front.

I had a friend who was trying to date and was having a lot of trouble. And I'm like, what are you putting in your profile about you? And it was the most vague, generic, like, I love... beaches. It's like, everybody likes a beach. Like everybody likes that. You know, she had all of that. And I said, get really specific, you know, like you love beaches, but what do you hate?

I had a friend who was trying to date and was having a lot of trouble. And I'm like, what are you putting in your profile about you? And it was the most vague, generic, like, I love... beaches. It's like, everybody likes a beach. Like everybody likes that. You know, she had all of that. And I said, get really specific, you know, like you love beaches, but what do you hate?

She's like, I hate camping. I'm like, say it. Like why even go on a date with a guy who loves camping? That's not going to be you. And so I think that if you don't like something, if you're looking for me too moments and a not me too moment comes up, what an opportunity.

She's like, I hate camping. I'm like, say it. Like why even go on a date with a guy who loves camping? That's not going to be you. And so I think that if you don't like something, if you're looking for me too moments and a not me too moment comes up, what an opportunity.

You have an opportunity to be super authentic and be maybe a little bit funny and still accept them for who they are, but realize, okay, we're not going to, we're not going to drive on that. And if that's a deal breaker for you, wouldn't you rather know it?

You have an opportunity to be super authentic and be maybe a little bit funny and still accept them for who they are, but realize, okay, we're not going to, we're not going to drive on that. And if that's a deal breaker for you, wouldn't you rather know it?

Some of my closest friends, we tease each other about our biggest differences. Like that becomes a beautiful friendship too. So I think that's where people pleasers get in trouble and they feel bad about themselves because then what happens in the end, they feel unliked. And like nothing's worse than feeling unlovable or unlikable.

Some of my closest friends, we tease each other about our biggest differences. Like that becomes a beautiful friendship too. So I think that's where people pleasers get in trouble and they feel bad about themselves because then what happens in the end, they feel unliked. And like nothing's worse than feeling unlovable or unlikable.

This is why I like the car test is typically narcissists have a pattern. Narcissists blow you away with their charisma at first. You are just in awe. They know how to signal warmth and competence. They're finding me two moments. You're like, wow, I'm clicking. And their confidence is contagious. We love to be around highly confident people, which often narcissists are very confident.

This is why I like the car test is typically narcissists have a pattern. Narcissists blow you away with their charisma at first. You are just in awe. They know how to signal warmth and competence. They're finding me two moments. You're like, wow, I'm clicking. And their confidence is contagious. We love to be around highly confident people, which often narcissists are very confident.