Vanessa Van Edwards

AI will tell you based on the words you use. Then ask it, make it more warm and competent and just see what they change. Then what I want you to do is take five important emails that you've recently sent. What we don't realize is our cues are changing the way people treat us.

AI will tell you based on the words you use. Then ask it, make it more warm and competent and just see what they change. Then what I want you to do is take five important emails that you've recently sent. What we don't realize is our cues are changing the way people treat us.

So the types of words you use in your emails are changing people's perception of your bossiness or I would say over-friendliness. Take five emails you spent some time crafting, put them into AI and ask AI, how warm am I? How competent am I? How could I have done better? We can use AI as a charisma coach. And it is incredibly helpful to see, are you leaking?

So the types of words you use in your emails are changing people's perception of your bossiness or I would say over-friendliness. Take five emails you spent some time crafting, put them into AI and ask AI, how warm am I? How competent am I? How could I have done better? We can use AI as a charisma coach. And it is incredibly helpful to see, are you leaking?

This person is highly warm and they're not taken seriously. This person is highly warm and they're getting pushback on their salary range. This person is highly warm and they are not being seen as credible in their interviews. I can look at your emails and I can tell you what professional challenges you're facing and so can you.

This person is highly warm and they're not taken seriously. This person is highly warm and they're getting pushback on their salary range. This person is highly warm and they are not being seen as credible in their interviews. I can look at your emails and I can tell you what professional challenges you're facing and so can you.

Highly competent folks, on the other hand, they under exclaim, they don't use a lot of emojis, and they love data, percents, numbers, and figures. They love those. In fact, for a highly competent person, it's physically painful to use an exclamation point. Yeah. Oh, but it's not credible. But you know what? That means you're under signaling warmth.

Highly competent folks, on the other hand, they under exclaim, they don't use a lot of emojis, and they love data, percents, numbers, and figures. They love those. In fact, for a highly competent person, it's physically painful to use an exclamation point. Yeah. Oh, but it's not credible. But you know what? That means you're under signaling warmth.

It means if you are too formal, too sterile in your communications, that could be the reason that people are like, oh, she doesn't give me a good feeling. I can't connect to her. She's too dominant. And this comes directly from the research. And this is a quote. I don't remember quotes often, but this quote struck me so deeply. Competence without warmth leaves us feeling suspicious.

It means if you are too formal, too sterile in your communications, that could be the reason that people are like, oh, she doesn't give me a good feeling. I can't connect to her. She's too dominant. And this comes directly from the research. And this is a quote. I don't remember quotes often, but this quote struck me so deeply. Competence without warmth leaves us feeling suspicious.

This is the curse of highly smart women. Highly smart women are in the workplace and they have great ideas. They have super high competence and they rely on their smarts. They're like, my ideas are so strong. My prep, my presentations, I know my stuff. I don't need the warmth. My ideas are so good. They'll live on their own. But the research shows it doesn't matter how smart you are.

This is the curse of highly smart women. Highly smart women are in the workplace and they have great ideas. They have super high competence and they rely on their smarts. They're like, my ideas are so strong. My prep, my presentations, I know my stuff. I don't need the warmth. My ideas are so good. They'll live on their own. But the research shows it doesn't matter how smart you are.

It doesn't matter how good your ideas are. It doesn't matter how well prepared you are. I'm sorry. If you do not showcase it with warmth, people are suspicious of you. Oh, that's so good. And so we have to be able to balance out our competence with our warmth, those ideas with the lubricant of warmth.

It doesn't matter how good your ideas are. It doesn't matter how well prepared you are. I'm sorry. If you do not showcase it with warmth, people are suspicious of you. Oh, that's so good. And so we have to be able to balance out our competence with our warmth, those ideas with the lubricant of warmth.

Men have the same problem. I think that women's valley is just smaller.

Men have the same problem. I think that women's valley is just smaller.

We just have a very narrow way to be. And like even sometimes like I do a lot of interviews and I'm on, you know, social media a lot. Even in my grid on Instagram, I am trying to balance this very narrow lane of warmth and competence. It's why I think so many like women, we feel like we have to share like our breakfast.

We just have a very narrow way to be. And like even sometimes like I do a lot of interviews and I'm on, you know, social media a lot. Even in my grid on Instagram, I am trying to balance this very narrow lane of warmth and competence. It's why I think so many like women, we feel like we have to share like our breakfast.

We feel like we have to share because we're like, I don't want to be too competent. I don't want to be too smart on that side. And so we also, we compensate or try to balance in the wrong ways. And so I would much rather you take control of your interactions, right? We talk about control. That's the way we do it is we know, okay, there's 97 cues. Here's warm ones. Here's competent ones.

We feel like we have to share because we're like, I don't want to be too competent. I don't want to be too smart on that side. And so we also, we compensate or try to balance in the wrong ways. And so I would much rather you take control of your interactions, right? We talk about control. That's the way we do it is we know, okay, there's 97 cues. Here's warm ones. Here's competent ones.