Vanessa Van Edwards

I'm going to choose my recipe, right? Like I look different than other women because I don't want to use all the same cues, but I need to find what's the recipe that I feel the most comfortable with. What's the flavor of charisma that I like the most that makes me feel like myself, right?

I'm going to choose my recipe, right? Like I look different than other women because I don't want to use all the same cues, but I need to find what's the recipe that I feel the most comfortable with. What's the flavor of charisma that I like the most that makes me feel like myself, right?

That's it.

That's it.

Yeah. And I look sometimes in my comments, I try not to read comments, but sometimes my comments, people say, you know, just show up as yourself. You know, this is, this is manipulative. This is engineering. And I'm like, yeah, because if you are lucky enough that you can show up and just be charismatic and win friends, amazing. I am so happy for you. But most of us don't have that privilege.

Yeah. And I look sometimes in my comments, I try not to read comments, but sometimes my comments, people say, you know, just show up as yourself. You know, this is, this is manipulative. This is engineering. And I'm like, yeah, because if you are lucky enough that you can show up and just be charismatic and win friends, amazing. I am so happy for you. But most of us don't have that privilege.

Like I do not. And so I think that, yeah, it is a little bit engineered in the sense of if you feel competent and you feel warm, you should know how to showcase that. I often felt warm and felt competent, but had no idea how to show it. And so I think that there is a rare bird of magic people and they are amazing and we can learn from them.

Like I do not. And so I think that, yeah, it is a little bit engineered in the sense of if you feel competent and you feel warm, you should know how to showcase that. I often felt warm and felt competent, but had no idea how to show it. And so I think that there is a rare bird of magic people and they are amazing and we can learn from them.

But for most of us, it's just dialing up our natural warmth and competence and just knowing how to show it.

But for most of us, it's just dialing up our natural warmth and competence and just knowing how to show it.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

This is my greatest fear, by the way.

This is my greatest fear, by the way.

Like before I came out with cues, especially, I had like a life crisis because I started writing the book and I was like, oh no, like this could be used for evil. Yeah. And I had a whole thing with my publisher where I was like, I don't know if I should publish this. These are tools that people could use for bad. And she was like, yeah, but they could also be used for good.

Like before I came out with cues, especially, I had like a life crisis because I started writing the book and I was like, oh no, like this could be used for evil. Yeah. And I had a whole thing with my publisher where I was like, I don't know if I should publish this. These are tools that people could use for bad. And she was like, yeah, but they could also be used for good.

And so I sat with my team and I talked to them about it and we decided to move forward with it, obviously. And it's changed so many people, but that is my biggest fear. is that people will use this for bad, not good.

And so I sat with my team and I talked to them about it and we decided to move forward with it, obviously. And it's changed so many people, but that is my biggest fear. is that people will use this for bad, not good.

And so it's really important, I think, for everyone listening that if you have the intention to build friendships and to find your people and to be warm, that's why we started off with that word. Whatever word it is, great. Like that is your intention and that is only searching for good. And that should always be our intention.

And so it's really important, I think, for everyone listening that if you have the intention to build friendships and to find your people and to be warm, that's why we started off with that word. Whatever word it is, great. Like that is your intention and that is only searching for good. And that should always be our intention.