Vanilla Mace

But I remember when I looked at the pictures, I was like, something about this dog is speaking to me.

Even though the pictures were awful because they were taken by a single man.

You know men don't know how to take pictures of shit, but especially not a dog.

The pictures were like a hundred yards away.

Horrible angles, blurry.

I was showing those profile pictures.

I was like, look it, I'm going to go see this dog today.

And my whole family was like,

Okay.

Even my man was like, are you sure?

And I was like, let's just go see in person.

He's way cuter in person.

That's when we could say, you look way better in person.

I'm going to write a hate comment on it.

You look so much better in person.

Well then it turns out he is my son, right?

Because we're both thuggos on the internet, but really good looking in person apparently.

But then when we talked to him about it, he was like, also, I think he might be deaf.

I go, think.

And he was like, well, yeah, I just haven't gotten him tested because I guess the hearing test is like $400.